For us consists of you and an ass!

Hello. Igor here, but I guess you probably already know me, sort of... My blog is just a collection of anything that crosses my dash and that is funny (or maybe not so much), thought-provoking or fandom related. Have fun and enjoy your stay! About me. And be sure to check out my boyfriend's blog, he's supercute and overall awesome!

[flareonfloof]

[mistr-booty]

Me meeting Mr Saguaro

[jessie]

the pokeball glitched and i just slapped the shit out of this poor gabite and I can’t stop laughing

[mistr-booty]

Keep. My battle partner’s name. Out. Your fucking. Mouth!

[duskdragonxiii]

Playing pokemon today and had a nice little picnic and I left it running for 5 minutes when I went to pee, and I came back to 6 fucking eggs in my basket. This is my party.

They are all male except my goddamn houndoom. I have 6 houndour eggs from when I looked away for a couple of minutes, and as someone with no idea about egg groups I have no idea who the father is.

Slut Shame Her.

[ghastlight-gravedig-ghoulboss]

God forbid women do anything

[saint-batrick]

[memorycycle]

fiona what you did to that snake was fucked up

[memorycycle]

literally girl wtf

[badjokesbyjeff]

Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship

“It’s a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind,” says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.

[positivelycarey]

Jeff this is not a bad joke

[joyflameball]

Jeff this is not a joke it’s a prophecy

[badjokesbyjeff]

I am convinced the only reason people work for SpaceX is to make this prophecy a reality

[lackofcreativitywillkillme]

LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST

[c-again]

[undertaker-02]

Reblog to let Apollo hit Jeff with the gift of prophecy

[dogposts]

He knows his way (via)

[clawsfangs]

why is google docs correcting my fucking DNA sequence

[clawsfangs]

[mistr-booty]

Not like I didn't fangirl hard when Master of Puppets started playing, but why not Iron Maiden's Run to the Hills tho?

Like, probably most metal songs of any sub genre would've fit, but seems like a missed opportunity for a silly pun, and at this point...

[kaijuno]

Fellas is it gay to perceive oneself?

[kaijuno]

Sounds pretty gay to me

[shitpostinguniverse]

[angstbotfic]

yes and

and 

[sic-semper-hominibus]

[rebel13lion39]

[mushroomjawn]

Really wish we could go back to a time when movies were worth something as long as they were fun to watch

Like I mentioned the 2016 Ghostbusters reboot (the all-female one) to someone bc i had a lot of fun watching that movie!! And they were like “that movie wasn’t that good it was just a comedy… It didn’t win anything did it?” like bitch …. The first Ghostbusters movie wasn’t fucking good either but I’m still sitting here watching some dudes chase a ghost through a library to some weird synth music so maybe movies don’t have to win awards to be worth watching

[mushroomjawn]

Not done.

When I ask people about their fave movies I always ask for two:

1) Which movie do you just fuckin. Watch over and over again (mine is Groundhog Day)?

2) Which movie do you recommend to other people/to me specifically?

Like. These are two VERY different questions. I know my bff from high school is obsessed with the star wars prequels like SHE KNOWS THEY AINT GOOD. I asked my roommate the first question and they were like “fuck dude I just love Mrs doubtfire.” Like yeah you’re not gonna be telling every person you meet to watch Mrs doubtfire! But it’s okay if it’s a movie you like some movies are FUN

[lyricwritesprose]

There’s an Ebert review, I believe, of the Brendan Frasier Mummy film.  It basically goes, “k, there’s only one nice thing I can say about this movie, and that’s … I enjoyed pretty much every minute of it.”

Like.  Was it a cinematic masterpiece?  No.  Do you want to pop some popcorn and put it on while you hang out with your D&D group or whatever?  Hell, yeah.  It’s fun.

[dubiousculturalartifact]

“There is hardly a thing I can say in its favor, except that I was cheered by nearly every minute of it. I cannot argue for the script, the direction, the acting or even the mummy, but I can say that I was not bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased.”

-Roger Ebert

[reivenesque]

I could literally watch Real Steel ten times on repeat without pause. Do I think it’s all that good a movie? No. It’s pretty dumb. Hugh Jackman’s character is a terrible person and I honestly hate kids in movies.

But robots! Punching each other in the face! Really hard! To the tune of Eminem’s music!

[gmbencompetence]

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

[jupiterjunebug]

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

[gmbencompetence]

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

[thisisdefinitelyacreativename]

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

[gmbencompetence]

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

[turtle-powered]

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

[gmbencompetence]

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

[analienorsutin]

Rare blue watermelon

[sickofimmortality]

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

[akiraita]

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

[unicornfan]

soap makes water molecules smaller

[elphabaoftheopera]

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

[brucebocchi]

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

[adataraxia]

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

[softurl]

[sasukehateblog]

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

[painisthecleanser]

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

The two way mirror

[rinlockhart]

“listen here, cumslut.”

[tenaflyviper]

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

[nyokoko]

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

[passion-of-l0vers]

all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)

infinite chocolate hack

berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)

mri scan walking dead gif

train gif brain thinks you died

tubby custard machine

horse dildo

moonmelon (and variations)

alexandria’s genisis

bird chocolate fountain og post

soap shrinks water molecules

we are killing the earth

ham on dog

tequila isnt a depressant

earth is lumpy

joker without makeup

voldemort fetus

two way mirror og post

fig vagina

[carillonghorn]

[debelice]

Handicraft......

[just-shower-thoughts]

There’s a chance that you were the last person to see a random stranger alive.

[mistr-booty]

Especially if you murder them

[ichigo-kuriimu]

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function

[ichigo-kuriimu]

Standard English: It’s cold, isn’t it?

Japanese: Samui desu ne?

British: It’s fuckin’ freezin’, innit?

[ichigo-kuriimu]

i have to do everything around here

[notahorseindisguise]

i hate this cause i did japanese for like a year and this explains the use of the -ne particle WAYYYY better than my teachers ever did. it took me ages to comprehend what this post makes abundantly clear.

my teachers: its like a, a little rise at the end of a sentence, to show that you are seeking a response, while not warranting the -ka particle which would make it a proper question.

me: ok. i guess i get that??

this post: its like saying “innit?” 

me: oh. oh no.

[wind-on-the-panes-deactivated20]

fun fact: afaik, "-ne" was inherited from the Portuguese settlers/priests that stayed in Japan in the 16th century. It comes from "né?", which the contraction of "não é?", "isn't it?".

It's LITERALLY "innit".

[twofingerswhiskey]

oh so like "eh" in canadian

[the-last-teabender]

*un-Babels your Tower*

[marzipanandminutiae]

(Also like “right?” or “you know?” in American English)

[nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111]

they posted a full version lol it's mr Stacy's dad for me