Eclectic Chaos

Call me Art. She/her. Writes FF. Does Science. Is a Disaster. 

[tuherrus]

you don't even have a dog

[hxneyfarm]

Happy pride month specifically to folks on the asexual and aromantic spectrum who oftentimes feel isolated and left out of the conversation. You belong here as much as the rest of us and I hope that you are all loved in a way that is comforting to you.

[qi-mera]

More of you need to learn about these ☝️

[jadenebula]

[perlukafarinn]

Shane and Ilya go out for coffee a little while after they're outed and it's not until they're home and have parked the car in the driveway and are walking up to the door that Shane suddenly realizes:

"I think that was our first date."

Ilya frowns at him. "What?"

"I mean, kind of?" Shane says. "At least our first date in public."

Ilya stops to consider and realizes that holy shit, Shane might be right. Still, "It was just coffee. If I am taking you on a date, it will be somewhere much nicer. Someplace with candles."

Shane shrugs. "I've heard coffee is a pretty classic first date activity, actually."

They've reached the door and as Shane goes to unlock it, Ilya leans against the door frame with a teasing grin.

"It was a good date then?" he asks. "Maybe nice enough that you want to invite me in?"

Shane feels a giddy rush and has to fight to suppress his smile. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure that's more of a third date activity."

"You are Mr. Dating Expert now?"

"Just don't want you to think I'm easy."

"You are easy," Ilya says, wrapping his hand around Shane's waist and tugging him in close for a kiss.

Shane hums into the kiss happily, clutching Ilya's shoulder when he trails his lips down the column of Shane's neck. "Just for you."

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

Actual roman epitaph for a dog

[disgruntled-foreign-patriarch]

humans are the same

[mornington-the-crescent]

[bedlamsbard]

I’ve seen this one doing the rounds a few times (and it makes me cry every time I see it), but was curious about the original Latin text, so I did some digging: it’s a shortened version of CIL 10, 00659, a tombstone from Salernum (modern Salerno, Italy). (source; CIL is the Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum).

Portaui lacrimis madidus te, nostra catella,

     Quod feci lustris laetior ante tribus.

Ergo mihi, Patrice, iam non dabis oscula mille

     Nec poteris collo grata cubare meo.

Tristis marmorea posui te sede merentem

     Et iunxi semper manib(us) ipse meis

Morib(us) argutis hominem simulare paratam,

     Perdidimus quales hei mihi delicias.

Tu, dulcis Patrice, nostras attingere mensas

    Consueras, gremio poscere blanda cibos,

Lambere tu calicem lingua rapiente solebas,

     Quem tibi saepe meae sustinuere manus,

Accipere et lassum cauda gaudente frequenter

And here’s my translation:

Wet with tears I have carried you, our little (female) dog, just as I did in happier times fifteen years earlier (lit. “three periods of five years).  For myself, Patrice, now you will not give me a thousand kisses nor will you be able to lie lovingly around/against my neck.  I have sorrowfully placed you, merit-worthy, in a marble tomb and I have joined you always to myself in death, as by your cleverness you matched a human.  Alas, we lost such pleasures for myself!  You, sweet Patrice, were accustomed to join us at our table, to beg charmingly for food (while sitting in our) laps.  You were in the habit of greedily licking our cups with your tongue, which my hands often held for you.  Frequently and joyfully (you) receive a weary one with your (wagging) tail...

tl;dr: this dog was named Patrice and was very, very loved.  (another translation with some glossing of the text.)

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

[ospreyonthemoon]

It's the fact she's joined to them in death, it's the fact that she sat in her owner's arms and ate their food. That he held the cups down for her to drink from....

Hundreds of years and we still know she was loved. We still know how she liked to sleep. All these years!! Loving dogs is the same!!!!

[thaylepo]

gonna point out too that 15 years is an INSANELY long lifespan for a dog in ancient Rome. This dog was both well loved and well cared for to have lived so long. Obvs there's going to be some statistical overlap with ancient dogs with loving epitaphs having longer lifespans, but in a world without modern vetrinary science or medicine, no canine vaccines, and no nutritionally formulated dog food, this Roman's beloved pooch exceeded even the average pet dog lifespan today.

[depsidase]

[wheelzyx]

That phrase means absolutely nothing. Not a goddamn thing. "History will judge them." Just like thoughts & prayers, it doesn't do anything to help.

[themoonandmyman]

#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.

#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.

[oatmealdiva]

shane:

[luntfontanne]

damn he really is an all-time poster

[whitepeopletwitter]

[ramshacklefey]

No IDs, but these tags got me in a huff:

So ok look. The point is not the flared leg by itself. These cannot be yoga pants. These are, and you have to understand this if you are too young to have worn them, BLUE JEANS. And this was the last years before all jeans were 70% spandex.

They were denim, and they weren't bell bottoms. They hung loose from the knee in a way that would make a wizard envious. We all walked around like we were wearing hakama. And they dragged on the ground. That was important. Ragged cuffs. If your jeans weren't so long that they had ratty cuffs, they were embarrassingly short.

And the thing about denim is that it's a twill weave and it's cotton. So not only does it hold a lot of water, it wicks. Walking around in these suckers on a wet day could get you wet to the knees even if you never stepped in a puddle.

Then you'd go inside and take off your shoes and try to avoid letting your freezing, wet, filthy pant legs touch your skin.

Yoga pants. Hmf.

[elodieunderglass]

people in cold climates would have a tide line of white marks around their knees (if they were normal height) in the winter.

From wicking up road salt.

[taibhsearachd]

The visceral memory of that time is something that never leaves you. Everyone's jeans were many inches higher in the back than the front because you kept stepping on the hem and ripping it off. Your lower legs were so very cold. Every new pair of jeans literally enveloped your entire foot, they were so so long re: leg-to-waist ratio. Walking on a rainy day was a legitimate workout. You have no idea.

[hungry-skeleton]

Asexuals were always part of pride and it really fucking shows when people think it's a recent term.

[hungry-skeleton]

Although not going by the term "asexual" yet, asexuality was spoken about alongside homosexuality as far back as the 1890s. Asexual history is just as vital to queer history as any other term and I'm so tired of watching us being treated like a new thing

[hungry-skeleton]

This image is so so fucking important to me

[hungry-skeleton]

Reblog this, cowards

[eemolu]

the idea that hollander "tamed" rozanov is really funny to shane because like. ilya finds it hot and is always going along with it, yes of course my husband is so sexy why do you think i moved to this boring fucking city. for dick. meanwhile shane knows the truth which is that ilya tamed himself. he herded shane like a sheepdog until he was exactly in the right position for ilya to flop down at his feet and say i love you, i am a one man guy, sleep with other people if you want but you are it for me, so shane is always there like ??? ilya. what are you talking about. i was literally prepared to be a secret slot on your roster for the rest of time without even admitting that i was gay until you decided to have me over make me lunch and say my name while you come like a love confession and ilya goes lyubmiyy. shut up. i was untamable you tamed the untamable and so shane has to be like yes, baby, i worked so hard, i used all my tricks but he's rolling his eyes because ilya wants to be a wolf shane coaxed inside to sleep on the hearth but instead he's a cat who snuck through the window and fell in love with his prey. self domesticated. and this is just one of the many perfect games they play

[tieflingkisser]

[gaynehollander]

The “do you want to know how it feels, holding the cup?” is genuinely such a fucking cunty comment and all Shane does is throw his underwear at Ilya and then grin like he’s so proud of himself.

What I’m saying is this, sometimes Ilya will say something to Shane in front of the Centaurs that makes the whole locker room freeze up because if they said that shit to their own partners, they would be in the doghouse for months. But Shane will just shove Ilya or punch him in the shoulder and then they grin at each other like it was the funniest shit ever.

They learn the hard way that although there seems to be no boundry to what Ilya can chirp Shane with, the same does not apply to anyone else. If anyone makes a comment to Shane that is deemed not appropriately playful, you will be facing the wrath of his husband and you will wish you were dead.

[matchagirl]

[homura]

[joy-and-whimsy-official]

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

[theconcealedweapon]

[catboybiologist]

ALWAYS get everything in writing

[dragonsrequiem]

Also? If it is a contracted position, write down that you are not quitting but are concerned at the change in contract terms. If they wish to renegotiate your contract, you would be delighted to do so.

[drabbles-and-rambles]

I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:

Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.

Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league in total points at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"

Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."

They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.