This is one of the best running gags in cinematic history
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@monsterhunterayame
This is one of the best running gags in cinematic history
Love that you can see the cogs turning in the cat's head when its person is showing it how to pot the black. The cat is Looking and Understanding! And then it does it! Perfect little helper. 💜💜💜
Cats love to be Included in their human's activities. Kitty here has successfully participated in the Knock Balls Down Holes Game and feels very pleased about it.
get you a man who can do both
one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel
Y'all, it gets better. She found out.
We interviewed her, obviously.
update:
Such a developing story.
I love this story
This was a wild ride from start to finish
I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website
Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.
I found it!! The original post!!
This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years.
If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life.
I reblogged her late last year and my 2024 has been very satisfying work-wise and (secure enough to not stress out) money-wise so far. Money Snake is wise and good.
Not worth taking the risk
Kingdom Hearts is great because these are all different people:
And these are all the same person:
Or my very favorite:
Same Character:
Different Characters:
I’m having a stroke
this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye
these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name
his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?
i am wrong, what the fuck
Me every time this post comes back
go Google why chainsaws were invented, it’s really fun :)
why.
I’ve seen everything at this point, so why were chain saws in-
oh what the FUCK WHY
Thanks I hate it.
I could have gone my whole life without knowing it, thank you motherfucker
To be fair, its not AS bad when you read into detail. But ya. Still like getting slapped in the face with a cold fish.
i’m boutta google why chainsaws were invented now. feel like i’m going on an adventure.
really speaks to how i’ve been around the internet, that that wasn’t what i was expecting it to be, but it was also really close to what i expected it to be.
Every time I see this post it’s gone in a completely different direction and every time it’s cursed as fuck
Surgeons really went vrrr vrrr say goodbye to your pelvis mother
Sell it higher you fuck I paid my sanity instead of money
Sell it higher you
fuck I paid my sanity
instead of money
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
Tarot Cats
Chonky Goods by Ping Hatta Studio
Sometimes I just start singing and my mom joins in
Whoa…
#don’t trust this #they’re probably sirens
These two are singing “O magnum mysterium” by Tomas Luis De Victoria! It’s a very pretty piece from the renaissance that has a lot of different voice parts singing totally different melodies that mesh well together. I sung tenor for a song of his as well. It sounds ethereal in cathedrals and bathrooms alike my opinion. Its the room’s ability to bounce sound and make it resonate, giving it it’s “mermaid siren” like quality. It sounds great. Congratulations, you both! Sounds very pretty and seems like a fun time to clean with things like that.
okay im reading the divine comedy but this shit isnt funny at all. does anyone know when the jokes start.
man come on
You're asexual? But...
“but sex is what makes us human!”
in 1916 a French officer in his twenties writes his
doctoral dissertation under
heavy mortar fire.
he sends it by mail, a page
at a time, to his wife.
a week before he’s to step up to the podium and
defend his work rather than hiscountry
he is killed in action.
even as the bullets rip
through him he still wishes he could have become a professor
in French literature and
the university awards him a posthumous Ph.D.
sex is
a woman breaks down in tears on the phone because
a week is not enough time to
get over a breakup.
her sister drives an hour across town,
comes up the front steps with
a gallon of ice cream and somebeer
and together they eat moose tracks and marathon
every
single
Godzilla movie
ever made.
sex is
she’s late for work but her car isn’t
starting and even through her coat and hat she’s cold.
she knows she can’t be late again because she’s missed
one time too many already because her
father’s nurse was sick with the flu and someone
needed to help him bathe.
the clock ticks past fifteen after and she hits
the wheel like it’s a heavy bag as though that will help
steps on the gas like the car will go
and wonders how she will pay rent
and how she will feed her father.
sex is
it takes three people to hold the predator down because
even with the cover over his head
a bleeding eye and shattered wing
he is trying to hurt them.
none of them have seen this bird before in their lives but
they bandage his wing and head and give him a painkiller and
put him in a warm place to sleep and heal because
it is right.
at first he is paralyzed and cannot
fly but soon he is taking steps
and then fluttering, and then soaring, and
six months later he is whole and healed and hunting.
once he is gone they never see him again
which means they’ve done their jobs right.
sex is
in 1969 a girl watches grey-and-white footage on her parents’ tiny television and
can’t quite believe that what she is seeing is not a movie set but
another planet.
the men on the screen look a little like
aliens with bulbous heads and no faces and fat
marshmallow arms
but they are still men.
her mother puffs on a cigarette behind her and declares that
this is progress
even if it was just a small step.
the girl grows up to be not an astronaut but a secretary
and her boss calls her ‘sweetheart’.
but sex is
a boy is taught that real men don’t cry so
he doesn’t.
when his best friend dies from a self-inflicted
gunshot wound, he locks himself
in the shower every day and sobs under scalding
water until it runs cold
so nobody will see him grieving
so nobody will see that tears are just love that
has no place left to go.
he learns to dull love rather than suppress its expression and
soon the owner of the liquor store knows him by name.
three DUIs, two evictions, and twelve steps later,
he is feeding people at a homeless shelter,
and telling them it’s all right to cry.
Sex is
the broken man tells the comedian
that he didn’t mean to step in front of the car but the rain
made it hard to see.
he seems okay but his leg
does not.
the comedian clutches a grubby receipt with the driver’s
plate number scrawled on the back
in pink pen, stands out in the rain so the broken man
can have his umbrella,
and gives him the comedy routine that ruined his career
so the man doesn’t think about the pain in his leg.
once he’s out of the hospital, the fixed man sends him a thank-you card
with kittens on it.
what makes us human
yawning is contagious,
and there is a species of bird whose young we call “pufflings”.
melodic collections of sound, spaced by silence,
can move us to tears.
the tallest building in the world is
two-thousand seven-hundred and seventeen feet tall.
in less than eighty years we went from our first powered flight
to touching the moon,
and in one-hundred from the first phone call
to instantaneous connection between thinking machines of our own creation.
we make pies out of tree organs
and let cow’s milk ferment until it hardens and then
we put them together, because apple pie with cheddar cheese is delicious.
what makes us human is
the earliest fossils of anatomically modern humans are
two-hundred thousand years old .
we have had pet dogs
for sixteen-thousand of those years, longer
than corn
or the wheel.
the steps we take are part of
one of the most energy-efficient gaits the
animal kingdom has ever seen.
we invented the concepts of love
and hate
and justice, and mercy
and we invented the language to convey them.
we sharpened rocks, then metal, to convince other people
who don’t hold the same idea of those things as we do
because we think
it’s right.
we are two hundred millennia of love and disappointment and
sorrow and innovation and
mercy and kindness and dreams
and failure
and recovery.
but sex is what makes us human.
I’ve reblogged this before but I like a different verse best every time.
hey. don’t cry. crush two cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?
PEACE AND LOVE!!!!!!!!
i downloaded this god damn episode just so everyone could watch this fukkin clip
The feedback bit is inspired.
Keegan Michael Key’s quick thinking to get involved was GENIUS.
My neighbour totoro, 1988
time smells bad.
what Synesthetic bullcrap is this now
Listen
I accidentally leave the milk out overnight.
Milk smells bad the next day.
Why does milk smell bad?
Time gets in it.
@ryanthecynic
Just realised this implies that a fridge cancels or slows time down
As a simple experiment I will put some plutonium in my refrigerator and see if it decays slower, brb
The results are in!
I have radiation poisoning!
this time it’s the opposite of Greek philosophy because you used the scientific method
Conclusion: the scientific method gives people radiation poisoning