with the way ilya went fucking DEMON MODE after the news about shane and rose hit the internet and the way ilya was suddenly playing WAY rougher and angrier with shane than he ever had before, i KNOW most of that team thought ilya had a thing for rose.
and depending on how many movies for the franchise rose had filmed in montreal in the past??? not impossible that SHE was the montreal girl cap was always running off to see when they were in town. yes! it all makes sense!! rose landry is montreal girl, and hollander has STOLEN HER!!
which leads to the very funny idea of the boston team trying to be loyal to ilya and parent trap situations on nights out on the town to get ilya and rose to spend time together because SURELY cap can win her back! he's ilya rozanov!! of course he can do it!! manage to get them "accidentally" locked in a room together and NO chance cap doesn't win her back and steal her away from hollander!
this is, incidentally, ilya's Fucking Nightmare.
TEARS IN MY EYES LAUGHING ABOUT THIS
oh MAN, one other player from boston got picked for all stars and another came along as their plus-one because listen. ilya has been carrying around a BAD FUCKING VIBE and they are. worried. he is in demon mode and very mean rn but he's their cap, so they gotta look out for him. and atp the whole boston team thinks they've solved the puzzle (they. have not. they have actually invented their own picture and cut it into pieces to MAKE a puzzle), so they send to the groupchat (the one without ilya called Potential Evidence For a Cold Case Episode One Day) that oh! landry is HERE, guys! she apparently came with hollander.
and OBVIOUSLY this is the perfect time to find space for cap and landry to get together 1 on 1 again! what if she came JUST to see cap!! (they needed to run this past like. at least one wag. but alas.)
and meanwhile rose came with shane as moral support in him trying to talk to ilya, but now ilya is avoiding them like the fucking PLAGUE.
BUT NOW IT DOES LOOK LIKE ROSE IS ACTIVELY SEEKING ILYA OUT.
BUT NOT FOR THE FUCKING REASON THAT THE BOSTON TEAM THINKS.
so the players are like SCORE. PERFECT. landry even asked one of them where cap was!! she WANTS HIM, guys. WE MIGHT SURVIVE AFTER ALL. ROSE LANDRY, WE WORSHIP AT YOUR FEET. PLEASE SAVE US.
so one of them distracts shane while the other goes to get rose, and rose is like "well, shane is busy, and maybe rozanov just needs to hear that shane wants to speak to him, and i can do that."
but now rose and ilya are locked in a room, rose doesn't want to say shane's part FOR HIM so she's just trying to set the stage by talking about what a wonderful person shane is and how he makes a great boyfriend and is so sweet and sensitive and-
and ilya meanwhile has his focus torn between trying to set her on fire with his mind, set himself on fire with his mind, and make his teammates (who are DEAD when he gets out of here) catch on fire with his mind.
and meanwhile shane is still forty-five minutes deep into a talk about dunkin that he does NOT know how to get out of.



















