I AM THE RAT KING, KING OF ALL RATS

rhaaaaaaaaaaraaharahaaaaaahaaSCREEEEEE BOW BEFORE THE RAT KING PITIFUL MORTALS YOU ARE FRAIL AND WEAK BEFORE MY MIGHTY FERAL RAGE I AM GOD INCARNATE UPON THIS FEEBLE EARTH AND THE BEINGS OF THIS REALM SHALL FEAR ME AND WEEP

[bakersfield-row]

[o-lei-o-lai-o-lord]

Give me a fortune with the only stipulation that I had to build a house with it, and I would go HOG WILD. Forget these stinking all white and gray McMansions, I’m getting STAINED GLASS and SECRET PASSAGEWAYS and a LIBRARY and a POOL and a GARDEN with ENORMOUS MYTHICAL CREATURE STATUES and TURRETS and CARVED WOODEN STAIRCASES that may get carpet but will never EVER be PAINTED BEIGE OR GRAY. My room would be in a TOWER only accessible through a secret staircase one opens by twisting the head of an owl statue. By the time I was through the ghosts of Victorian millionaires and Roccocco-era nobility would be looking at it like “Oh, now that might be a bit much.” The HOA would have nightmares but be unable to do a thing about it because I’d be sure to build JUST out of their jurisdiction. I would take all of my personal taste and quirks and make them the entire neighborhood’s, nay the entire TOWN’S problem.

[aescapisms]

[kingscrown666]

There's an old saying (I think it's Russian): the same boiling water that softens the potato will harden the egg

[ymutate]

Rukiye Garip,B. (1964) Turkey

Watercolor on Paper 22 W x 29.9 H x 0.1 D in

[lemondoddle]

[I.D. a hyper realistic watercolor painting of stones underneath clear, rippling water. end I.D.]

[l0cal-corvid]

DONT SCROLL.

THATS A PAINTING

[stories-i-guess]

HOW THE EVER LOVING FUCK-

[voyagevisuelle]

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

[oesthetic-deactivated20161008]

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk

you tell me

[meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin]

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

[coolstoryrob]

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

[bestrooftalkever]

Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

[ninja-sex-tarp]

I’m fucking done with this site

[celticpunkandcoffee-deactivated]

This is the evermelon.

If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.

[deltadragoon-deactivated2018111]

[neenernina]

OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

[amor-moved]

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP

[thereisagirlwhonevergoesoutpt2]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).

[chekhovs-slinky]

Danny gets to choose his royal title, and he thinks very hard about it. He examines historical ghost kings, how their titles reflected their rule.

He decided he wanted to be a little bit silly with it.

Now, all across reality, occultists and demons and anyone who was in-the-know on the Infinite Realms was privy to the knowledge of the new king.

King Phantom, The Child Killer

Meaning: The Child who killed the last king, the child who can and will kill to defend his people- and his people was Everyone In Reality. He was the King of All. He will not allow anyone to come to harm, and he will not allow anyone to conduct that harm.

Danny knows very well what people will assume his title means.

He’s counting on it.

Every so often a zealous megalomaniac decides they need the Ghost King to give them power, and what would the Child Killer want?

A child to kill.

He would never be able to stop people from trying to summon him, but he could control what they tried to offer to him. He could guarantee that only those who summon him were scum.

Anyone who chose to offer a living breathing child to what they assumed was a malevolent god of destruction and murder clearly wasn’t worth the breath it would take to ask “what do you want from me?”

So whenever Danny arrives to his summonings, faced with one or more innocent terrified faces, he wordlessly wraps them safely in a blanket made of stars..

Covering their eyes as he smites everyone in the room, leaving behind scorched earth and shadows of men who really Didn’t Have Any Idea Who. They. Were. Fucking. With.

When the Justice League catches wind of a dangerous entity called The Child Killer who slaughters cultists and disappears with the child sacrifices, they decide they don’t need any more information. Digging would waste time, and time was everything when a child was missing.

What they didn’t know was that Danny was feeding the children, clothing them, healing them- of course he would like to bring them home, but they don’t have any.

Each child was trafficked out of foster care by the cultists, or was being abused by their parent who was a cultist.

Even if they had never been taken into the circle, they would have surely died.

And no “hero” would have ever known.

No. Danny would not be returning the children, not unless they asked for it. Not unless they could come up with a safe place for them to go.

Not unless the children wanted to leave.

[prokopetz]

I understand that this is a profoundly pedantic bit of crankery, but it bugs the hell out of me when a robot has jiggly boobs, but then later their chest gets opened up for someone to mess around with their internal gadgetry and you can clearly see that the interior wall of the thoracic compartment follows the exterior contour of the breasts. Like, are these tiddies rigid, or are they not? Pick one or the other!

[prokopetz]

(It especially bugs me when their chest is opened up and you can see a pair of protruding turbine-like components right about where the breasts would be, presumably in an effort to to justify their presence. Like... are the turbines squishy?)

[prokopetz]

"This character is fucked up and evil" frankly, 90% of the time that's simply not so. Evil, sure, but you can't just tack on "fucked up" willy nilly – it takes a lot of work to get all the way to fucked up and evil. A lot of the characters that are popularly described as fucked up and evil are really banal evil, or pathetic evil, or classy evil, or dramatic evil, or confusing evil – and don't get me wrong, these are all important parts of the ecosystem of evil, but they're not fucked up and evil.

[prokopetz]

Hero derisively refers to the villain's henchperson as their "lapdog"; villain immediately gets annoyed at the lack of precision, starts lecturing the hero about different working dog roles and constructing complex parallels for what specific kind of working dog the henchperson would be in the analogy the hero has introduced.

[prokopetz]

Post-apoc fantasy walking sim where the text blurbs on the environmental storytelling skeletons have a weirdly casual tone, then about halfway through the game one of them pops a dialogue option and it suddenly becomes clear that these aren't just dubiously diegetic lore dumps, you've actually been talking to the skeletons.

[aforest2006remaster]

concept

a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings

[aforest2006remaster]

you know… these guys

[fanotastic]

Hi op I hope this satisfies your needs.

[citrineghost]

Needs more worms

I wanna make one of these that is like a literal curtain of worms

No clear strings available to get caught and tangle, I want them nose to ass like some kind of horrible human centipede of worms, covering my doorway

[lonevarg]

@fanotastic more worms

[fanotastic]

Aw fuck. Nothing makes you assholes happy.

[fanotastic]

Fuck you guys.

[fanotastic]

[fanotastic]

My fellow fuckers, I present you-

384

[fanotastic]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH MOTHERFUCKERS

[amberautumnfaebrooke]

in honor of the great itch shadowbanning of pervert games, i would like to point you towards one of my favorite pervert games:

the daughters of galatea by hamZardo

sapphic androids on a 100 year journey. the eroticism of not getting what you want.

it's about android women conspicuously NOT having sex on a spaceship for 100 years and doing a bunch of shit that's way hornier than sex instead. it's. so hot. you gotta check it out

[letsrevince]

[dervampireprince]

Steam, Itch.io and the banning of explicit and LGBT+ Content. What can we do?

[All images in this post have alt/id text if you need it or want to copy paste anything]

With no warning, Itch.io, a site where many host their indie games, comics, books and more, has started purging and shadowbanning explicit and LGBT+ works. Creators got no warning. And if they were still owed payouts from these works, Itch.io is saying they won't give them their money as they 'broke the rules'. Rules that were only just set in place, with no warning, and therefore no way for creators to try and draw out their money or delete these 'offending' works before they got banned under the new rules.

So Itch.io has been the most recent to fall to the demands of a group that's been contacting Visa and Mastercard and convincing them to threaten sites/businesses with 'stop selling what we consider to be explicit content on your sites of we'll stop allowing your site to have transactions with Visa and Mastercard'. Steam folded, and now Itchio has too. And a reminder earlier this year Gumroad also stopped allowing explicit content, further back than that Patreon banned some kinks and fetishes even if it's depicted in fiction not real life, and I don't have to explain to you guys the great Tumblr explicit content ban of 2018.

And as always remember this doesn't stop with sexually explicit work as LGBT+ stories and people are often labelled as explicit and already we're seeing works being taken off Itch.io that are about LGBT+ and especially trans stories. Other non-sexually explicit works I've seen already getting shadowbanned, delisted or deleted are SFW games featuring furries/anthros, SFW dress up games (because when you take the clothes the model is nude), and the aforementioned SFW games that include LGBT+ characters and stories.

I'm compiling here information I've seen around various social medias, mostly Bluesky, because I haven't seen all these things shared over here.

I don't personally have explicit content on itch, but I had been considering one day selling things on there and I do currently have explicit content on my Patreon, my main source of income, and am terrified that Patreon is going to fold next (if anyone knows alterative for hosting audio content behind a paid subscription service please let me know so I can start maybe making a back-up in case the worst happens). Because for me personally if Patreon goes next, it's not like I can go out and easily get another job. Not only because in general finding and getting a job is difficult enough, but I'm autistic and have chronic pain and have been constantly getting sick or new pains over the last few years and don't feel safe being trans in the UK right now and all of that combined rules me out of a lot of jobs and makes me feel unsafe to apply to any. I'm so grateful I've been able to make a community around my work, but if Patreon caves next and I just leave my SFW posts on Patreon... 10% of my Patreons are signed up to the SFW tier, 90% are signed up to the explicit tier... I know if Patreon caves I will go from someone living comfortably who's searching to move out of my parents so I can live in a safer environment to someone who can no longer even afford the rent I pay to my parents. I'll try and get an alterative found and set up in case that happens and I can only hope you guys will follow me to whatever other site I have to set up... but it feels unlikely that people will get a whole new account on a whole new payment provider just to support me on a website they might never have heard of...

But what can we do right now?

A petition you can sign (international but you do have to give your name, email, and postal/zip code):

Mastercard: Sex Work is Work. End Your Unjust Policy.

Mastercard's new policy unfairly targets the adult content industry, making sex workers more vulnerable, especially Black trans women. It mu

Get calling:

Mastercard (US): 1-800-627-8372

MasterCard (UK): 0800 964 767

Mastercard (International.): [phone]

Visa (US + Can): 1 800 847 2911 / 1-800-VISA-911

Visa (AUS): 1 800 125 440

Visa (UK) : 0800 891 725 or use their international call collect [phone]

Visa (International): (call collect - it costs them $): [phone]

PayPal (US): 1-888-221-1161

PayPal (UK): 0800 358 7911 from landline, [phone] mobile

PayPal (International): 1-402-935-2050

(numbers gathered from these posts X X X )

Don't know what to say on the phone? Here's a script written by timidtanuki:

Creators have had their work removed off Itch.io with no warning and since it's been removed for 'breaking the rules' (rules that were suddenly in place with no warning) they aren't entitled to get their payouts. Just like other sites such as Youtube and Twitch and Etsy, Itch.io hold onto money from their users in a wallet and then give them payouts. So there is money creators have made, are owed, that Itch.io is not giving to them.

People are recommending that if you still have works on Itch.io to turn down the revenue sharing to 0% so that Itch.io no longer takes a cut or your money if you no longer want to support Itchi.io finically but don't want to remove your works from their platform. X

Other Bluesky posts and calls to action I've seen:

radiantg.bsky.social is asking for anyone on Itch.io who got their game deindexed, removed , or payouts turned off to reach out to them (espeically if you make explicit and/or LGBT+ games) for a piece of journalism about what is happening.

sleepyhart.bsky.social is making a thread of all the games that Itch.io has censored/removed from their site search function. Obviously be aware this will include 18+ only games, games with sexual content and other dark or heavy themes.

thetransfemininereview.com wants you to reach out to them if you're a trans creator on Itch.io who is being affected by this so they can make an accurate report. they say 'authors' in their post and I'm unsure if they also want game devs to reach out.

dropdownbear.bsky.com wants you to reach out if you have purchased things on Itch.io that you can now no longer access because of this ban. they can include them in a report being filed with the Australian Consumer Commission as this may be a violation of Australian Consumer rights. If you are Australian you can no longer access things you purchased of Itch.io you can report directly with this guide.

It's a scary time for adult creators and sex workers. It's a scary time to be trans. Support creators. And if anyone knows of any alternate payment providers that allow explicit work, and/or alternate websites to Itch (and in case things get worse, also give me Patreon alternates please) where people can host, sell and/or offer paid subscriptions to writing, images, videos, audios, games and more please leave them in the replies. And please help share this post, the posts I'm linking too, and any other resources you can find.

[fortunate-cookie]

Constantine’s apprentice

“Whose sidekick is this?” Barry asks.

Everyone in the watchtower turns to look at the skinny, black-haired teenager sitting patiently in the corner. He’s got big round blue eyes, and smiles and waves at the heroes when they look at him. He would be perfect bat-bait if he weren’t also the picture of innocence.

(Every Robin in existence has had an unmistakable aura of menace around them.)

That wide-eyed innocence is precisely why it’s such a surprise when the kid answers “I’m here with John Constantine”

“John Constantine?” Zattana asks, bewildered and worried all at once. She knows better than most how it feels to be burned by Constantine, and is instantly angry on the kid’s behalf.

“Someone call?” The man himself asks, as he steps into the room, bag of chips in hand.

“Why do you have an apprentice?” Zattana demands, accusatory.

John tsks and frowns, directing his next words towards the teen in question, “I told you no, kid.” Then he turns back to Zattana and the room at large, and says, “I’m dropping this kid off here. He’s being hunted by the US feds. Hole in the meta human rights bill. He is not,” John’s eyes slide back over to the kid, “my apprentice.”

The kid (and someone should really ask his name, sooner or later) frowns and crosses his arms. Now he looks more like a Robin.

“And why not?” He whines. “You’ve been teaching me just fine so far. I haven’t even been that annoying!”

“Son, no,” Hal Jordan speaks up from the back. “You’re lucky to have made it this far, you don’t want to spend any more time in Constantine’s company than necessary.”

Zattana nods and says, “he’s got a habit of sacrificing others. It’s usually for the greater good, but still… you don’t want to be the nearest convenient sacrifice.”

“Really feeling the love in here.” John mutters.

“Well… it’s true, isn’t it?” Dick shrugs apologetically.

“Not to mention you’re just a bad role model in general.” Hal tacks on with a shit-eating grin.

“Is that all?” The kid asks.

“Do you… need more?” Dick asks. “Betrayal in a life-or-death situation isn’t a small thing, kiddo.”

The kid (and really, someone needs to ask his name. And also get the report on that hole in the meta rights) just looks at John with a supremely unimpressed expression. “Y’know I haven’t been relying on you for my safety this whole time, right? We were always safe, I just stuck with you to learn magic.”

“Danny, what the hell,” John says.

Ah, so the increasingly-more-Robin-like kid’s name was Danny. Good to know.

Danny shrugs, and says with a smug smile, “the night before we left Amity Park, I contacted an omniscient time-god from another dimension and blackmailed them into giving me forewarning for any dangerous situations I might get into. I think the specific wording was ‘enough forewarning to be able to escape any situation resulting in my death, capture, torture, loss of powers, or sanity.’”

The watchtower is completely silent for a count of three.

Then Dick snorts.

“Did… did John Constantine get conned?” Barry asks with glee.

“God I hope so…” Zattana breathes.

“I really appreciate you taking me this whole way, though.” Danny says to John. “I definitely want to get a few autographs.” He says with an innocent smile.

It’s at this moment that it sinks in for the whole room that a kid tricked John Constantine into traipsing across some portion of America with him for no reason.

Hal doubles over laughing.

“You’ve been blackmailing a god this whole time?” John checks, face blank.

“Uh huh,”

“You were able to trick an omniscient being, and now have struck a deal for divine intervention any time you’re in danger?”

“Yup,” Danny pops the ‘p’

“You’ve been wheedling magic lessons out of me for weeks with the full knowledge that my only reason for sticking around — to safely get you to the watchtower — was a complete waste of my time because you are effectively safe for the rest of your life in every situation forever?”

“Uh, yes? To be clear, Clockwork won’t intervene in situations where I can handle it myself. But if I’m ever in over my head, then they’ll show me a solution.”

The room is filled with poorly concealed grins, and not-at-all concealed appraising looks. After a long moment, John finally throws his hands up in the air.

“Fine!” He says, exasperated. “I guess you’re my apprentice!”

[prokopetz]

Aesthetic blogs waxing rhapsodic about the ineffable experience of Yearning and a solid 30% of the list is just symptoms of dehydration.

[pomrania]

#i do not dispute that you yearn #but when your prose starts to sound kind of like you want to fuck a glass of water #ruling out a more literal thirst is perhaps in order

[carbomcoco]

"these researchers published a paper on something that literally any of us could have told you 🙄" ok well my supervisors wont let me write something in my thesis unless I can back it up with a citation so maybe it's a good thing that they're amplifying your voice to the scientific community in a way that prevents people from writing off your experiences as annecdotal evidence

[the-reconciliation-of-all-things]

if your system of knowledge makes it difficult to assert known facts then maybe its a poor system of knowledge :D

[therichremember]

some people consider "the earth is flat" and "vaccines cause autism" to be known facts so actually a system that requires some kind of evidence rather than just taking people at their word seems pretty useful to me :D

[the-reconciliation-of-all-things]

waowww and so in the 50s when your system said it was super good to lobotomise people it was just the system working as intended yea?

[therichremember]

As opposed to the alternative, which is to pick which medical treatments work based on vibes. A bunch of people right now believe that they can cure their autistic children by feeding them bleach so I guess we should just let them do that because they really really feel it is working, no need to look further into it.

Things like "this treatment for mentally ill people is not effective and in fact detrimental" is actually the exact kind of 'obvious' study that needs to be out there because guess what they didnt stop performing lobotomies because they just didn't feel like it anymore, they stopped because there was an overwhelming amount of evidence against it.

[the-reconciliation-of-all-things]

as if the standards of rigor for psychology etc are anything other than vibes + from what you say i can tell you have never seriously analysed your belief system in any meaningful way, your post betrays how riddled with inconsistency you are. also your tags show that you are functionally illiterate.

consider taking a vow of silence for the good of all mankind?

[therichremember]

You have refused to address any of my points or examples, so I am forced to conclude that you either don't want to or simply cannot. And its clear you are never going to since we've come to the point where you're throwing out baseless assumptions and insults instead of any kind of arguments. This was disappointing

[morriganmisbeth]

so obv they didn't really say anything that actually had much meaning after "if your system of knowledge makes it difficult to assert known facts then maybe it's a poor system of knowledge" so that's what I'll address! how the fuck does one determine which things are "known facts" and which things are just misinformation or myths? oh yeah by rigorously proving them beyond any reasonable doubt. that is the very thing that allows "known facts" to exist! in order to establish something as fact you MUST provide overwhelming and undeniable evidence of its truth, and even then future studies may come to disprove it by revealing factors you were unable to account for at the time, and this is a GOOD THING. it means that the things we understand to be undeniable facts will always be objectively proven to exist despite how messy and subjective humans tend to be! it provides us with solid ground upon which to build the rest of our scientific understanding, and sometimes single bricks or tiles within said solid ground may need to be replaced as our understanding and technology evolves, but the stability of the metaphorical ground upon which all our other scientific research is built will never be significantly compromised BECAUSE it was built from "known facts" that were so thoroughly proven. it SHOULD be difficult to prove "known facts" because the more work you put into proving it, the more evidence you compile in favour of its existence, and the more evidence AGAINST it that you disprove or provide alternative explanations for, the truer the fact becomes, and the more stable its place in our understanding of reality.