arthur

he/him- 22 - man i dont know what to tell you

[loveridden1999]

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

[featuringmarkhoppus]

[clubpenguinkiller]

cats always step precisely on your most sensitive areas when theyre crawling on you lovingly for cuddles. bladder dick ovaries boobs stomach bruise it doesnt matter. they have homing devices on their paws for the exact area you’re most tender at the moment and they put their full weight into that step. and sometimes they might keep their stance midstride so theyre just standing there forever forcing you to endure the pain. because they are simply too cute to get mad at

[draconym]

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

[draconym]

[grootficguy]

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

[julieofthelambs-deactivated2026]

wasn’t crazy that comics used to have like. Ronald Reagan. Or Obama. Or like the actual real NYC mayor. That was wild. We should put Mamdani in Spider-Man again

[bluegrasshole]

it’s so funny that shane is a landlord, can you imagine if your landlord was sidney crosby and you had to text him like ‘hi sidney crosby, my oven isn’t working right :/’ and sidney crosby would have to be like ‘ok well i’m at the olympics so i’ll send someone to check it out, no problem’

[tiredyke]

why do people think the concept of “thought ‘crimes’” extends to things you post online. you have laid it out for other people to see, it’s no longer just a thought in your head. lol

[tiredyke]

[kosmogrl]

I’m like if a girl that hates working used her work as a distraction from everything going wrong in her personal life

[vinegarss]

captchas are getting way too hard man I can't do this

[sadclowncentral]

just showed the gate agent the Wikipedia article for Mussels instead of my boarding pass. don't text

[dorothylarouge]

[gayvampyr]

me after a minor inconvenience: i hope i get hit by a [remembers i’m anti car-centric infrastructure] pedestrian

[dajo42]

i quit cold turkey

quit what?

cold turkey

yeah but what did you quit

im telling you, i quit cold turkey

alcohol?

no i quit cold turkey

i wasnt offering, im trying to figure out what you quit

and im telling you i quit cold turkey

wait. you quit cold turkey?

yes i quit cold turkey

like the meat?

no i dont like it thats why i quit it

cold turkey?

no im gradually weaning myself off it

[guiltfactory-moved]

sometimes a woman hurts every man who enters her life because she's awesome

[ourdarling]

insane shit happening over on uquiz right now

[lighthouseweeper]

Couple dynamics

[punkjabi]

[bearforceone00]

#mynothing

[the-sewerrats]

throwing tomatoes at nightcrawler because school is stressful and it’s a million degrees outside