I named my blog after a stuffed animal

Multifandom personal blog where I sometimes post stories. (Thanks for stopping by my blog.) If you like my writing, send me a request! I'm happy to oblige.

[humming-fly]

you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

[humming-fly]

I was trying to figure out why this post starting spiking recently and then I found out you animals had this queued for Mother’s Day

[theonyxranger]

[triviallytrue]

everyone knows this is the defunctland guy right

[meow-moment]

*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*

[lazygravez]

*clicks the citation*

[meow-moment]

*text pops up saying “this is not true. He saw this in a youtube video once in 2014 and took it as fact”. the words “youtube video” are underlined and in blue”

[official-lucifers-child]

*clicks on the link*

[arsonistblue]

[garlic-but-gay]

Bitches out here roleplaying internet trolling

[tenporcupinesinnertrenchcoat]

As much as I want Zagreus to be a bossfight in Hades 2 I think it would be so much funnier if his dad gets locked up and all of a sudden he’s in charge and it is not going well

[jaeger-bombastic-was-taken]

[soberscientistlife]

This is funny as fuck-flightless bird, motherfucker

[loveletterworm]

Apparently minecraft announced they would add fireflies to the game, but then removed them completely from in-game existence because they are poisonous to frogs in real life.  Unrelated but anyone ever given a minecraft parrot a cookie

[loveletterworm]

Minecraft in 2022: *completely removes an entire advertised feature from an update because they were told its poisonous to a different animal they added in the update, rather than just leaving them in as an atmospheric mob (like bats) and just not having frogs eat them anymore*

Minecraft in 2017: Oh chocolate is poisonous to parrots actually?  Ok *adds a “kill parrot instantly” function to the game*

[bogleech]

20 years ago if I posted a bug or a worm literally anywhere there'd be comments about it being ugly and disgusting and today in most places the comments will be like "effervescent" and "trying hims best" so some things about society can get better really, just try to remember that for pictures of people as well

[facelessoldgargoyle]

honestly the Edward Cullen effervescent snail was a cultural reset is more way than one

[javierbardem]

Martin, you didn’t tell me what you did for a living- Yes, I did. You didn’t tell me what you did for a living for four sessions. Then you told me and I said, “I don’t wanna work with you”. And yet you come back every week at the same time. That’s a difficulty for me.

[hetrez]

One time years ago I was in the elevator of my work building and this guy got on. He was breathing hard and looked a little crazed, and he went and stood behind me and took out his cell phone, and when some dude does that and you’re a not very burly femme-presenting person alone in an elevator you tend to go on alert, so I was paying a LOT of attention when he said, “Hi, it’s me. The doctor says it isn’t cancer. He says it’s another spleen.” Then the elevator reached the ground floor and the doors opened and he ran out like he was on fire.

Please go on this journey with me. The doctor said it wasn’t cancer. It was another spleen.

So the guy leaves the elevator and I’m just, you know, my day just didn’t recover. And I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And on my last day at that job, I was in the elevator riding down at the end of my workday with my little box of office supplies, and HE GETS ON THE ELEVATOR AGAIN WITH ME. He looks much less crazed. We were again alone. I may have dreamed the whole thing.

Because, look. I worked in a skyscraper in downtown San Francisco. There were hundreds of people in my building, spread across twenty floors. The odds of me seeing him again after that first time were nuts. And I hadn’t stopped playing that conversation over in my mind. So I thought, fuck it.

Me: “Hi, uh, so listen. A couple months ago you were on this elevator? And you made a phone call?”

Him, slightly wary: “Okay?”

Me: “So I didn’t mean to listen in but you know, this is close quarters.”

Him, flat: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “So I heard you telling someone that the doctor said it wasn’t cancer, it was another spleen. And like, it’s none of my business, but today’s my last day in this building and I will never have another chance, so I have to ask. WHO in your life has a second spleen?”

The guy looked at me for a second, and then he burst out laughing, and he said, “Oh, yeah, that was my dog.”

This is the second weirdest thing that has ever happened to me and I think about it every damn day.

[meowmeowarcher]

SAD….

[chekovs-onlyfans]

[thyrell]

every time staff tries to make this website more hostile to posting the posts get better

[thyrell]

i think theyre unintentionally creating new regulation-resistant strains of bloggers with this shit because more people are posting about #girl than ever before

[zvaigzdelasas]

[neurotypical-karen]

The tone difference in foraging guides between native plants and invasive plants is literally so funny to read

[triplestaff]

Terry imma need examples

[neurotypical-karen]

Foraging guide entry on native plants: Make sure you only take a small amount from a well-established patch. Leave some for the wildlife, and yourself next year! Please get involved in land restoration programs to protect this plant for the future :)

Foraging guide entry for Japanese Knotweed: RIP RIP TEAR KILL REND DESTROY EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT  E V I S C E R A T E EAT EAT EAT EAT

[the-awkward-turt]

It’s similar for wildlife.

Brochure about native fish: Remember to only fish for approved species at the appropriate time of year and only with a license and correct fishing gear. These rules exist to make sure we don’t damage local fish populations and these amazing animals can be around for future generations!

Brochure about invasive lionfish: You can kill them with a SPEAR, you can kill them with a HOOK, you can kill them with your BARE HANDS (but watch out for the spines)…did we mention the flesh of this spicy devil fish is DELICIOUS?? Do your part for the environment and CONSUME THE PROBLEMSRIC LION OF THE SEA.

[meanplastic]

[plaidcushion]

choose your fighter

[shiredded]

Why not both?

[pointdotiozao]

[kaijuno]

I used to be a grader and an occasional substitute prof for an introductory astronomy lab. That means that the majority of the people in this lab are only taking it because it’s a requirement and about half of them think it’s an astrology class.

I was grading midterms and this one girl. She was so nice and I think she was a business major. Fuck. The question on the midterm was to draw a diagram of the solar system and this poor girl. This fucking girl had drawn a Mars-centric solar system. As in every planet and the sun were orbiting Mars. I now actually have a custom Cards Againsy Humanity card I got at a con that says “A Mars-centric solar system”

I had a boy argue with me that there was liquid water on the moon (this was around when they had found liquid water on Mars in ~2015) and he wouldn’t believe me that he likely meant Mars and not the moon. After I marked his answer to the relevant lab question wrong, he took it to the department head who had promptly laughed him out of the office.

And there was another boy who, during a lab in our observatory where we would look at certain things in the sky, asked where the sun was. At 10pm in November. After some questioning it was revealed that he thought the moon and the sun were the same thing.

[shesaysdisco]

My friend, whom I love dearly, found out that the moon orbits the earth as a 20-year-old in an upper-level political science class, and was utterly and completely flabbergasted. When questioned, her defense was that she doesn’t have anything to do with the moon, so why would she have needed to know?

[toniins]

i was once talking to a friend of mine about how at that point in time you could see mars, jupiter, and venus at the same time, which was pretty cool, and she said “where’s pluto? wait, it was destroyed” and that’s how i found out that my friend, who is in her third year of a medical degree, thought that pluto stopped being a planet because it was eaten by a black hole.

[copperbadge]

Sherlock Holmes not knowing the Earth orbits the sun startin' to look less unrealistic now huh.

[rainbow-femme]

[methotrex8]

[veliseraptor]

that ‘pakige?’ post but me, a couple hours after posting a fic, like ‘comints?’

[kitten-kin]

[leahazel]

F5 F5 F5

[kitten-kin]

… F5 F5 F5 F5F5F5F5F5

[transformativeworks]

[image description: a comic about a cat. The cat is sitting on a table that has “my platform” written on it. It has just pushed “fic” off of it, or according to the text, posted it. The second panels shows them five minutes later as they are leaning to the side to be able to look down. According to the text, it’s wondering: comints?

The next comic shows the cat who is bumping the fic with their paw once, with their whole body distanced and then between panels, it’s shown jumped back. On the last pannel they’re repeteadly bapping the fic with their paw in quick succession. end of description]

[arinavah]

happy birthday, Megumi