Mulch madness

Hey I'm Mulch She/They/it 28 transfemme I like things and stuff

[jun3bugx]

Butch who holds my waist butch who kisses my forehead butch who lets me sit on her lap butch who buys me trinkets butch who plays with my hair butch who touches me till I can’t speak butch butch butch

[purpleisdebeste]

I’m sorry Orpheus i was too harsh on you…

[purpleisdebeste]

i was in the physics lab today and we were working with lasers, so the Lab Freaks (legal name) were being very careful to stress that we Do Not Turn Around or Look Behind Us because we’ll get extremely blinded by the power of high strength lasers

and i’m not gonna lie it was actually extremely hard to resist turning around. i misjudged orpheus it turns out this isnt extremely easy actually

[purpleisdebeste]

okay i’ll be honest i 100% looked back at the lasers. actually multiple separate lasers multiple different times. they were pretty

and i didnt get blinded. so clearly lab safety isnt real and you should always risk it cus taking risks is awesome #gambling

but uh. my ass is NOT making it out of the underworld 🔥🔥🔥

[overnightshipping]

[gjjuddmk2]

[43406]

[theonewhopoops]

Happy to see this video is reaching its target audience

[blyddyn]

This is really the best way to reheat pizza

[depsidase]

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[lotzofteeth]

I think about this a lot

[despazito]

the official white house twitter account just posted an ai trump vance parody of the full rick and morty intro

[chinesecentury]

Is there a gofundme for the iranian ballistic missile programme

[gods-weakest-girltwink]

went to cracker barrel with my girlfriend this morning to get breakfast, and they absolutely clocked us as lesbians, cuz they assigned the most lesbian server in the house to our table. the whole time, she was calling the both of us "babe" and "love", when we ordered the biscuits she asked if we liked corn muffins too and said she'd bring us some, and after we got the check and were about to leave she looked me dead in the eye and said "you're real pretty," stunlocked me for like five seconds before i could respond. when we finally got to the car after paying, we checked the receipt and she hadnt charged us for the corn muffins OR FOR THE BISCUITS!!!

cracker barrel was the last place either of us were expecting to get lesbian flirted with, were getting so many gay encounters these past two days

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[byjove]

he doesn’t know you can see his poop

[spookberry]

My personal headcanon for Ash Ketchum has always been that regardless of if his dream ever came true he'd never truly stop traveling and learning. Because despite "becoming a pokemon master" being his goal if you actually sit down and watch like Any episode of Pokemon the thing that always holds true is his curiosity and desire to learn everything he possibly can related to pokemon. And he'll try anything to! He did contests and the battle frontier. He'd do those silly little shows with Serena if they'd let him.

So I like to imagine him continuing on in life as this nomad who people don't automatically recognize as anyone important ya know? Just this goofy guy going from place to place always lending a helping hand and hes got a cute lil pikachu on him. And hes often lost somewhere with a friend just exploring the woods to see if he'll find anything cool. Ya know, as hes always been, but older now. And its only once hes drifted once more do you maybe stumble into an article on the pokeweb about him and are like... that guy??

[curvedroygbiv]

there’s a dedicated ashandpikachuspotter account somewhere on some social media. You tag a photo or search for a term and boom, there’s pics of this guy. this dude. this man. with his pikachu. and it’s thousands of strangers from across the globe coming on line to talk about some stranger that they met briefly and then never saw again. they’ve compiled their stories and their approximate locations and mapped his journey from continent to continent, a long snaking pathway that spans decades and thousands of miles. He’s apparently one of those Kanto kids that the government let just drop out of school. Its working out very well for him. 

[spookberry]

Thats so funny, to imagine him as a pokeweb criptid type character a la the florida man

[spookberry]

the one thing about him is he's also not gonna think he's famous or ever mention it himself

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[biblical-figures]

[biblical-figures]

Please get it tattooed

[randomalienencounter]

↸𝙹リℸ ̣ ⊣ᒷℸ ̣ ∷ᔑリ↸𝙹ᒲ ᓭ⍑╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ᔑℸ ̣ℸ ̣𝙹ᒷ↸ 𝙹リ ||𝙹⚍ !¡ꖎᒷᔑᓭᒷ!!!!!!!

[zoazoaa]

If you are attracted to a girl it's important to show her sinister artifacts and relics

[cuppydogshane]

all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.

[trangoldin]

[itstoys]

guh

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

DM:  “The orc captain fires his bow, and…that’s a hit.  And he rushes, and…hit.  And, bonus move, and…oh jeez that’s a *big* hit.  I’m sorry, man.”

Player, sadly pulling out a fresh character sheet:   “Eh, it’s alright.  I guess in the next act y'all are gonna meet Boromir’s brother Faramir.”

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

I just lost six followers

[gazeldhazel]

say what you will about bsky and it sucking huge ass, but somehow i managed to get my feed to be like 50% girls with huge dicks, so. that's pretty cool