actual trash

We

[tacoholic]

ive never been naked and if you have you’re disgusting

[inahiddenplace]

crazy that i’m only able to see life through my own eyes.. there’s over 7 billion other perspectives i’ll never be able to have.. over 7 billion stories i won’t ever be able to fully know. we all get such a small slice of the experience of life.. pass by strangers every day that we’ll never be aware of. what are they going through? what are they thinking about? i always wonder.. 

[silentreadinghour]

I;m thinking about thos Beans

[mikacentral]

[railroadsoftware]

why’d she resign

[laurbyboom]

couldnt handle the truth

[yo-its-matt]

Babygirl I’m popping joints that paleontologists don’t even know about

[yo-its-matt]

No, fuck. Chiropractors

[chippyyyz]

Yo mama so old her chiropractor is a paleontologist

[kaijuno]

my coworkers and i have this running joke where whenever it gets quiet in the warehouse someone will do jar jar dirty talk voice and yesterday it was quiet and someone said "meesa wants sloppy toppy" and I look over to our middle aged manager who just had to listen to that and she was just

[utopians]

"sex scenes have no narrative purpose" is such a funny take on so many levels. people will really believe that the whole human experience is valuable to portray artistically except sex, which of course has never held emotional weight or significance for anybody

[utopians]

"what's the purpose of sex scenes in media??" well you see sometimes people have sex. sometimes it can be important even

[robogirldick]

yeah ok but i dont wanna watch straight sex scene number 1231234837582 in the middle of some movie thats clearly not fucking high art or anything, like please, tell me how the sex scene made jason X a deeper movie ill wait

[utopians]

you genuinely think that "the sex scene in Jason X, the movie about jason from Friday the 13th killing people in space, is bad" is a rebuttal to this point? like genuinely? genuinely? like you think that's the kind of sex scene I was talking about in the original post? you think when I'm talking about the artistic merit of sex scenes in movies you think I'm talking about the bit with the dominatrix in Jason X (2001) dir. James Isaac, the movie where Jason from Friday the 13th gets put in cryosleep and wakes up in the future on a spaceship where he starts killing people in outer space? you genuinely think this is the kind of movie and scene I'm referring to when I'm arguing for the potential artistic value of a type of scene? Jason X? Jason X? the one with Jason on a spaceship? you think that "well Jason X, the movie about Jason on a spaceship killing people in space, is bad" is a rebuttal to my point? Jason X? Jason X? J

[cisgendersdni-deactivated202106]

*listening to clair de lune* damn he put his whole debussy in this shit

[rubyfruitjumble-deactivated2016]

some of yall r SOOO sensitive!! and it’s a good way to be. u have big hearts. I love u

[ernmark]

Just learned about garden path sentences.

They’re basically a literary prank– the sentence starts out in such a way that you think you know where it’s going, but the way it ends completely changes the meaning while still being a complete and logical sentence. Usually it deals with double meanings, or with words that can be multiple parts of speech, like nouns and verbs or nouns and adjectives.

So we get gems like

The old man the boat. (The old people are manning the boat)

The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. (The apartment complex is home to both married and single soldiers, plus their families)

The prime number few. (People who are excellent are few in number.)

The cotton clothing is usually made of grows in Mississipi. (The cotton that clothing is made of)

The man who hunts ducks out on weekends. (As in he ducks out of his responsibilities)

We painted the wall with cracks. (The cracked wall is the one that was pained.)

[reasonandfaithinharmony]

Vestrahorn, Iceland

[elisamaza]

wait the nike logo was put on non-nike shoes??? the shoes lil nas x is advertising?? and he’s just totally chill about nike suing? LMAO

[elisamaza]

UNAUTHORIZED SATAN SHOE I’M DYING

[f1rstperson]

Full offense to anyone who finds this deeply offensive, i think it’s the funniest fucking thing on every level and i’m losing my shit about it

[headspace-hotel]

“Unauthorized Satan Shoe” is the funniest phrase I have ever fucking seen in my entire life

[elderbwrry]

The “apology” he posted on his youtube channel just links to his song again

[one-time-i-dreamt]

My old friend got pregnant, and her family is so fundamentally religious that they accepted her story that it was a virgin pregnancy rather than let themselves believe she had //whispers// relations.

When I heard she was pregnant, I flew to Mexico to help with the  preparations. I told her I knew the truth, and she started crying and told me she had no idea who the father was, because she didn’t remember.

Anyway, at one point I went to the theatre to see Suicide Squad and Jared Leto was there in full Joker costume creeping people out by sitting behind them and blowing on their necks whenever he came on screen.

When he did it to me, I turned around and just said “Leah’s pregnant.” and he turned white. I mean, you could see him go pale from underneath his makeup. He looked stricken. Then he just said, “thanks.” in a quiet voice, and got up and left.

I went back home without seeing Leah again, but she called me right before i woke up, crying, saying her family had disowned her because she was having the baby of an actor.

[angel-collective]

Fuck I forgot to read the url and I thought this was someone’s actual life event or some shit

[gunsandfireandshit]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was drawing a bunch of pentagrams in my notebook during math class because I was bored and I think I drew 150 pentagrams in total before a devilish-looking guy wearing a red suit broke down the door of the classroom and yelled “wHAT the fUCK do you wANT?!”

[raccaine-deactivated20180909]

I thought this blog was about dreams

[heartrate]

i’m interested in stargazing and rough sex

[thyrell]

"ooh you hate cops but who are you gonna call when you get robbed?" uhhhhh your moms house? a great tragedy has befallen me and i need to have sex immediately

[kineticpenguin]

Every time someone’s like “who are you gonna call when you get robbed?”

1. Know how I know you’ve never been robbed?

2. I am going to call my insurance company and file a claim, the only usefulness a cop has at this point is generating a report number for said insurance company to refer to

3. Seriously all a cop’s gonna do after establishing that the robber/burglar/whoever isn’t there anymore is say “what do you want me to do about it?” and leave

[fandomsandfeminism]

Also:

Law enforcement took more stuff from people than burglars did last year

Federal asset forfeitures topped burglary losses for the first time in 2014.

So, ya know.

[neonmanatee]

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light