Nakiteers @nakiteers - Tumblr Blog

autism tests are so funny. I'm extremely literal most of the time, but people don't tell me that generally, so I'm inclined to answer disagree. because I'm taking the statement too literally

peopleingishard

^not my post but same sentiment

pretentiouslimericks

It feels like I’ve talked about this before, but to me the funniest version of Portal is if Chell is deaf.

Like, most of the major story beats, at least the ones that directly affect her, have a prominent visual component so she’s following along with the basics. But she has no idea who cave johnson is, or what wheatley was trying to explain to her, and she certainly wasn’t hurt by any of glados’ insults.

but the best part of this headcanon is imagining glados checking chell’s personnel file years down the line, noticing the word “deaf” for the first time, and just going “WHAT???”

emptyjunior

Glados learning sign language so Chell can hear at least one of her excellent monologues and Chell just closes her eyes

junebug-jamboree

replicated

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

not100bees

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

kholdseid

maxknightley

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

maxknightley

one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."

the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."

They. They forgor

They were opened in AUGUST 2001. Oh my god. That's both hilarious and tragic.

predstrogen

this is a fucking futurama bit

isawken

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

#tumblr interactions

mysharona1987

lynati

If the trash pickup people stop doing their job for two weeks you'd be throwing a fucking tantrum. Same for the janitors who keep your office spaces and bathrooms clean. (And that's before the various illnesses start to spread all over your city from the build up of pathogens.)

The people responsible keeping our spaces clean (and thus, mostly disease-free) should both be paid more AND thanked more.

bogleech

Garbage service is one of the ten deadliest jobs in the United States.

And police work isn't even on that list.

spiribia

as a writer you will have a specific deck of vocab words you like using a lot and when you read other peoples' work you will see a very clear spread of different vocab words on their end. this is why you need to read, to collect other writers' words like it's a card game

precision-instrument

former-incel

Someone does something that requires you to like them. You stop them because you don't like them. They continue. They are harassing you.

Someone doesn't do anything that requires you to like them. You inform them that you don't like them. You are harassing them.

loveridden1999

constantly trying to see the inherent good in people is a humiliation ritual that i continue to willingly participate in

ruffboi-mags

mochimars

I hope Nael knows their poem made me cry

inotrope

Rebageling again because... what gets me most about this interpretation is the softness. When I read the poem, I read it as exultant and fierce. The tiger within was the tiger burning bright of another poem’s fame. The tiger destroyed his cage, and who knew what next now that he was out.

Here, we’re given an answer. The tiger steps out and is surprised by the soft grass under his feet, delighted, goes wide-eyed with wonder, and leaps into the meadow. Here, the focus isn’t the cage’s destruction, but getting out, being out, so that the last glimpse we’re given is the tiger now tiny (and joyful!) in the distance, surrounded by the wide green expanse of freedom.