sometimes a kebab is just a kebab

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[chumbie]

i ask my portrait of kim kitsuragi for advice and then i take out my matching frame of harry for advice (bad kind)

[chumbie]

kim: focus on your work. you’re making progress

harry, who i keep locked inside my drawer: drop out of college and dwell on things forever. start huffing paint NOW!1!1

[queerofthedagger]

the fun thing about having a mental health crashout in your thirties is that sure yeah you're crashing out, but at the same time there's a part of you standing across the room smoking ben affleck style, going yeah yeah you're crashing out. you crashed out before you will crash out again can we wrap this up yet. and the most annoying part about it is that they're right, and that that does Not stop you from crashing out even a little. love and light on planet earth.

[kylejsugarman]

getting visited by three spirits would not fix walter white. it would not make him be nicer to his humble worker jesse pinkman. walter white would wake up the next morning, throw open the window, yell down to a passing brock “u there boy, what day is this” to which brock would reply “why sir it’s christmas day!!”, and walt would say “so i haven’t missed it :) young boy here take this lily of the valley and eat it as fast as u can”

[dreamersandgunslingers]

HE'S CALLED THE GRINCH, COOP. A REAL PIECE OF W-O-R-K. LOCALS DESCRIBE HIM AS HAIRY AND GREEN, HEAD TO TOE, LIKE A DOG RAN WILD ON A FRESHLY CUT LAWN. IF WE’RE NOT CAREFUL HE’S LIABLE TO STEAL CHRISTMAS RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER US. THAT’S RIGHT, WE’D BE LEFT WITHOUT A CAN OF WHO-HASH TO OUR NAMES.

[nakakabaliw]

trying to get through the day.

[icedteadrinker]

Limmy deleted best tweet of all time I'm so mad

[thisplaceisamessage]

I bet it feels good as fuck to kick someone in the head as hard as you can if you’re a horse

[birdbigbutch]

Peeling the lid off of a yogurt and it's a big spiral staircase going down forever

[w1ld--c4rd]

the biologist being super subjective: im the only objective motherfucker on this expedition

[w1ld--c4rd]

i do love towards the end of the novel shes like okay heres the thing. i lied. i am incredibly subjective and it has gotten me in trouble academically and lost me jobs. i also don't understand anyone on this expedition despite stating my interpretation of their body language as fact. also i am incredibly fucked up right now on something cosmic and unknowable and i can see shrimp colours

[22ratonthestreet]

when the fruit is strangling

[petruchio]

you ever think about what obi wan and that diner alien had going on

[petruchio]

both the length of his pause and obi wans reaction imply several things that go entirely unexplored in the rest of the series

[un-monstre]

You would think that Disco Elysium is a sequel to Rhythm Heaven. But it's not that

[wetchickenbreast]

i keep getting fines for “excessive water consumption” it’s not my fault that the basement prison cells all need their own toilets and showers. and like the prisoners are not pulling their weight AT ALL. all they do is sleep and be scared of the rats all day instead of painting with the easels i provided so the fines are really putting a financial strain on the household. if i didn’t need them for their plasma i would have killed them all already because this is nottt as financially lucrative as i thought it would be

[wetchickenbreast]

in the sims 4

[devilishdescent]

airplanes should play videos of meat processing basically nonstop with no means of volume control or turning off the screen

[fallingtowers]

airplanes should be made of meat and they should groan in pain as the pilot flogs them with a cruel barbed lash to make them go

[dwn240]

poster from a while back

[dunglizard]

I take one sensible edible on a thursday night and the grubhub doordash (sorry) Sheetz menu starts looking like that one bit from Annihilation (the book) (have not read it) (but I know about it)

[dunglizard]

do you see what I mean