dumping ground for batfam faves

some overlap with other DC heroes, avid JayTim shipper, but not into other batcest. they/them

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

What if the batkids call Bruce "Dad" only in their civvies, but then call Batman "Mom"

.

It started with Dick pondering about the whole "secret identity" thing as a young Robin. The news are partially about Brucie Wayne, young dad extraordinaire setting an example for all reformed rakes turned fathers.

Then half of it is about speculations on Batman's true form — because while they all could've sworn that Batman was, well, a man... most investigators are hesitant to consider him human now because suddenly there's a toddling colorful child creature bobbing along after the living legend, with the same moves and capabilities as the Bat

Dick gets the brilliant idea to make Bruce into it

"Think about it!" Dick said on that first patrol, "People won't think too harsh on Batman if they figured that I'm just your little cub who is also made to fight crime, instead of a human kid out on the streets at night."

Bruce narrowed his eyes, but there's no harshness in his gaze. He's looking at this little boy, with messy curls of black and the sweetest shade of blue in his eyes. A reflection of him. How cruel it is of this boy to play with his feelings.

"You want people to think that the Batman is a creature that can give birth?" Bruce repeated carefully.

"More than that! I want them to think you're my mother!"

"...same thing."

"Bleh!"

.

It works as Dick proposed. Lesser ties made to Bruce Wayne, a cisgender man who can definitely not give birth, to Batman, a creature that allegedly birthed Robin. Bruce thinks it's the stupidest solution to a common problem, and he made Brucie.

But it works so they let the story run wild. Bruce doesn't mind so much as the weird, hungry, curious gazes that some villains and thugs give him.

Dick seemed to find it hilarious when ladies stopped Batman in the streets to tell him to rest because "you just gave birth!!"... only until said people also tell him to "respect your mother!"

Overall, it was just another one of those weird things a vigilante resorts to for the sake of operational efficiency...

...

Until one time, Robin had gotten captured in a ship rigged to blow, and villains left and right were hitting him everywhere.

Batman had priorities on the other side of the docks. Robin just had to distract everyone else, and this was a distraction technically. But everything hurt and some of the older men were looking at him funny and he can't move and he wants to go home.

"MAMA!" Robin shrieked into the night.

And descended from the shadows was the Batman, in all his apparently motherly glory — towering above 6 feet, maybe more, because animals grow their appearance when preparing to pounce. A culmination of darkness and rage. Armed to the teeth with weapons and artful precision.

His white eyes turn to a bloodied, shaking young Robin, then to the rest of the fools who dared breathe his boy's air. The sound of rage he made was not human.

Every move is calculated and efficient; not with the aim to kill, but to make an example of the bastards who dared hurt his little bird.

.

This story will be passed along the underworld of Gotham for years to come as more and more of the Bat's brood grew

And this secret will be inherited from Robin to Robin, Batgirl to Batgirl

Bruce is a father — providing, stern, careful

But Batman? They each came from his symbol, his cloth, his rearing. And Batman is a much more violent creature when it comes to protecting those who have his mark.

If that's not a mother, then what other deadly creature can the Bat of Gotham possibly be?

[thatacetwilek]

people assume that Batgirl was also bred from Batman, but the criminals and law enforcement of Gotham know better. No, the way she acts with Robin, they are not siblings. Somehow it gets spread around that Batgirl is simply the same creature as Batman, just younger and orphaned, so he takes her under his wing.

There's a whole conspiracy theory community in Gotham about this Bat/Bird species. It's generally accepted that Bats can give birth, either to other Bats or to Birds, who are their mating partners (think nymphs and satyrs kinda thing) but once birds come of age, they fly the coop. Everyone knows Nightwing is a former Robin, but he matured and, as some say, had a whole chrysalis phase to become the black-and-blue vigilante Bludhaven knows. Some, though, stay close to the nest, like Red Robin.

The Batgirls aren't always related to The Batman, it can be hard to tell. Their relations are unclear since they're not oft in the public spotlight. The people of Bludhaven keep expecting a Robin to pop up there, since Batgirl keeps assisting Nightwing so often. Moreso after Barbara becomes paralyzed and Batgirl disappears, since it seems that only one parent looks after the clan. There's a heated online debate as to whether Batgirl will pop up with her own Robin somewhere else or if it doesn't matter which parent takes care of the bird.

The Justice League is well aware of these rumors, and it amuses them to no end. Clark, whenever he's in Gotham, attempts to find a story regarding the weird Bat/Bird dynamics or get the opinion of one of the Waynes. Bruce is not amused, but lets it be for the safety of his kids.

Nobody has any idea what Signal is.

[reoricecake]

Tim’s gay awakening.

Tim: I just don’t think that’s appropriate for this occasion.

Kon: *looking down at his shorts*

Kon: Come on, Rob. We’re going to the beach. What else do we need?

Tim: Are you not bringing anything else? In case of an emergency?

Kon: Only you, Rob. Fine, I’ll bring my uniform. Just in case.

Tim: Thank you.

— at the beach —

Cassie: Tim?

Tim: …

Cassie: Uh, Tim?

Tim: *looking at Kon surfing, watching the way his hair sways and the way his tan looks under the sun*

Cassie: Oh my god, he’s having his gay awakening.

Bart: Who’s having his gay awakening?

Tim: Me.

Cassie: And he admits it!

Tim: I need. A moment.

—

Kon: Hey, where’s Tim?

Bart: He’s uh, having a moment.

Tim: *in the bathroom, head in his hands*

Tim: Oh my god I might be gay. Wait, am I gay? Or is it just because its my best friend? Am I actually homosexual?

Kon: *who can hear this*

Kon: Oh wow he’s having a crisis.

Cassie: and whose fault is that?

Kon: What’s that supposed to mean?

[arirhythmia]

jason "fuck-off" glare todd x tim "fuck me" eyes drake

[goosebeak1]

may I propose Jason "Fuck yourself" Todd x Tim "Fuck me yourself" Drake

[caitwritesao3]

Tim: “I’m happy to announce that Fatson has a little brother!”

Bruce *mentally preparing himself for Tim’s nonsense*

Dick: “Tim! What the fuck is that!”

Jason *holding Fatson tighter*: “Tim, baby… I agree with Dick. What is that?”

Tim: “Meet Jimothy! Our newest son!”

Damian: “I love him. I demand to be his god father.”

[imheretoreadafic]

Conversations of various Robins and Batman that the JL has overheard.

Dick as Robin:

Batman: "Don't touch that."

*gets ignored*

Batman (more desperately): "Don't touch that! Robin I'll ground you!"

Robin: *snorts and continues to reach for the very dangerous alien object*

Batman (floundering): "I- Catwoman's out of Arkham! And if you touch that I won't let you see her!"

Robin: *gasps and backs away from it reluctantly* "That's no fair! I wanna see Catwoman and touch the thing!"

Batman, crossing his arms and looking very stern despite the objectively ridiculous situation: "Well, you can only have one of those things."

-

Robin, starting to tear up and sniffle: "B-but I want to help other kids so t-t-they don't lose their mommy and daddy!"

Batman, deadpan: "That's not working on me, kid."

Robin, tears immediately drying up: "Was the mommy and daddy too much?"

Batman: *seesaw hand*

Robin, nodding: "I think I'll keep it to mama and papa - that usually works better."

//

Jason as Robin:

Batman: "Yes, Robin, your English teacher is an idiot when it comes to Shakespeare but that doesn't mean you can egg her car."

Robin: "What about her house?"

Batman: "That's actually worse than egging her car."

Robin: "Sooo, I should be allowed to egg her car because that's better than egging her house!"

Batman: "Should people be allowed to commit assault because that's better than murder?"

Robin, dead panned: "Isn't that literally what we do every night?"

(This one made Flash laugh so hard he pulled a muscle)

-

Robin: "B, I just met Toy Man."

Robin: "Is that REALLY one of Superman's enemies or was that a joke? Please tell me it was a joke. He's like a level two Gotham rogue - his shtick is toys, Batman, TOYS. And I thought the Riddler was stupid."

(Superman tried to defend his honor and was ultimately defeated by the meanest thing to exist - a teenager)

//

Tim as Robin:

Batman: "Robin, explain the voicemail I got from the school."

Robin: "Didn't they already tell you?"

Batman, frowning heavily: "Humor me."

Robin: "My math teacher was being a bitch so I took apart her calculators and hid the pieces around her room and in her stuff."

Batman: "Including her salad."

Robin: "Including her salad AND protein shake."

Batman: "She's could have choked and died!"

Robin: "But she didn't! And anyway in my experience, people are SO much more tolerable when they almost died recently! Take my dad for example-"

-

Batman: "Stop it."

Robin, grinning over his laptop: "I'm not doing anything."

Batman, exasperated: "Don't lie to me! That's your hacking face, Robin."

/

Steph as Robin:

Robin: "It's only glitter!"

Batman: "Three tons of it."

Robin: "... Did i mention that it's biodegradable so it's like totally okay for the environment! See, i DO think ahead sometimes!"

Batman, mumbling: "Maybe I should start putting glitter on your case files so you'll focus..."

-

Robin: "It's because I'm a girl isn't it?"

Batman: "Me telling you to stop putting sprinkles on your pasta is completely unrelated to your gender."

Robin, taking a bite of her pasta monstrosity and pointing the fork in his direction: "Misogynist!"

/

Damian as Robin:

Robin: "But i only THREATENED to stab him. I didn’t actually stab him."

Batman: "..."

Batman: "That's definitely progress but still-"

-

Robin: *cape starts to make a hissing sound*

Batman: "Robin.... What is in there?"

Robin: ".... Her name is Daffodil."

Batman, growing dread in his voice: "And what exactly is Daffodil?"

Robin, without misisng a beat and completely serious: "A beautiful young lady."

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: I'm a bad bitch! I don't take shit from anyone! I'm not nice!

Jason: Well I can't just leave this cart in the middle of the parking lot. I have to take it to the cart return. I'm not an animal. Those employees work hard.

[friendly-neighborhood-crowbar]

Jason Todd is one of the most punk characters I’ve seen, who doesn’t look stereotypically punk. This man is anti-government and anti-establishment. He canonically is a protector and friend to sex workers, yet an enemy to the system that keeps them trapped. He is disdainful towards the uber wealthy, yet capable of showing empathy towards people of all stations.

I find the discourse of “Jason is just a big softie” vs “no, he’s a brute” to be so telling. He’s both AND he’s neither. The idea that Jason is a softie comes from people looking down on his extreme empathy towards women and children. The idea that he’s a brute is usually a classist argument because he grew up in Crime Alley.

In truth, Jason is just punk. He cares about PEOPLE, and is willing to show both kindness and harshness to build the world he wants to see.

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

[teaboot]

We’re happy to have you!

[nix-dreamy]

Tim weight nothing to Jason. When they fuck, Tim is getting thrown around and railed until he is crying.

[nina-s0]

Head cannon that even though Bruce is against tattoos (because he thinks they make u far too identifiable) the bat brothers have em anyways because why tf would they listen to Bruce, what were u expecting really?

Also I think the tattoos they have are accidently matching. They all have the Robin symbol.

Dick has the Robin R over his heart. Tattooed by Roy sometime after Bruce fired dick. Was it stupid? Yes. Does he regret it? No. He got it originally to keep his parents close to his heart. Then to keep Jason near his heart after Jason died. Then to keep as a reminder that all his brothers were robin. And that they were Dick's Robin's.

Jason got a Robin R tattooed at the pulse point on his neck. It's crudely drawn and fading, but he did it himself whilst in the league of assassins. He likes the dramatic irony of it. He is a literature nerd after all.

Tim has the Robin R on his ankle. It's bold and hard to hide but that was on point. He was drunk. And sad. And had just recently took up the mantle of red Robin when he got it tatooed by Leslie. He got for himself. As a reminder for what robin stood for.

Steph got it on her collar bone. Right under a left over scar she had from black mask. Cass did it for her. It was small and easy to cover up. Steph liked it. She figured it was accurate for her robin anyway.

Duke got the robin R tatooed behind his ear when he led the "we are robin." movement. He was angry and proud and he wanted to show it. It was wonky and done by a teenager in a Gotham alley but he liked it like that. After all robin definitely wasn't perfect.

Damian got it tatooed on his wrist. His is by far the most visible. He's proud. Proud to be apart of the legacy of the robins. (not Batmans, nor the al ghuls, the robins) It was a promise. To himself. To everyone else too, but mainly himself.

Errr also yeah Tim deffo got a sleeve done at some point, Jason has a back tat 100%, dick has one of them cool collarbone ones that look like rope, duke has his parents initials on his forearm, Steph deffo has a black widow quote somewhere on her body and Damian has stars littered on his shoulders.

[vampykitty-kun2]

Look, I love vers JayTim okay?

Top, bottom, who cares? Not Vampy.

Love me some assertive possessive Tim that wants to play Jason like a piano. Who loves being in charge, and having Jason whimpering beneath him. Love me some Jason that lets Tim take him apart because he trusts him and can be a needy yearner that wants someone to take care of him. Sometimes he wants to be railed until he's begging and in tears. Sometimes he wants to be held down, feel the caress of fingers, the sharp sting of teeth.

But Tim also likes it when Jason gets a bit rough- pins him down, holds him up against the wall. Loves how much bigger than him Jason is. Sometimes he likes not being in charge. Sometimes he wants Jason to turn his brain off- or at least to mush. He likes the stretch and drag as Jason fucks him hard and deep. Jason lives for the noises he makes, likes to box him in, pin him down... sink his teeth in while Tim's breath hitches and he thrashes beneath him, skin flushed and sweat slick. Hear him begging as he bends him in half.

They also both very much enjoy the soft too, 'kay?

[bearcosmic]

Tim: Okay, Final argument time. Bruce Your arguments thus far against killing have been heart warming, but subjective. Jason your arguments for killing has been thought provoking, but again, subjective. For this final portion of this debate, that Steph has coined “Red Robin: Kill or No Kill” I will only be considering objective argument, with bonus points for empirical evidence. My fate is in your hands. Would Red Robin make a better impact on Gotham if he was open to killing unrepentant villains? Go!

Bruce, rubbing his temples: Tim are you really choosing your morals based on a debate?

Dick: He didn’t have morals pre-installed, this is how he gets them.

Steph: I lost the debate on why stalking is wrong years ago, so you guys can blame me for that one.

Damian: Enough chatter, begin the debate

Bruce: *sighs* Morally—

Tim: *pressed red button that makes a boo sound* Subjective

Bruce: Okay, We are not judge, jury and executioner. We are citizens. We have no right to take the lives of others. Doing so makes us no better than the criminals we fight every night. Killing is killing, intentions do not matter.

Duke: Idk that was pretty subjective.

Tim: I’ll allow it. Half a point for Bruce. Jason, rebuttal?

Jason, pulls out folder filled to the brim with annotated research papers, text books, and a personally written essay that contained a work cited: Intentions may not matter, but impact does. For example, Black Mask caused the death of 52 Gothamites this year. 46 last year, and 68 the year before, spanning back the last 10 years. If i killed black masked, I would be saving the lives of about 50 people a year. By killing one person, I would be preventing the deaths of hundreds of people, depending on whatever his natural lifespan would be.

Barbara: Is this the research paper you were working on in the Library? I thought that was for finals?

Jason: I finished up my finals last week, got a head start.

Tim: Wow, 3 points for the argument, 3 points for the data backing it up, and 3 extra points for doing research and citing your sources. Great Job Jason.

Dick: Bruce, as funny as I think this is, please don’t lose this debate. I think we’d be unleashing hell upon gotham if he gives himself the green light to murder.

Damian: *Taking notes with a very serious look on his face*

Dick: … And we need to set a good example

Bruce: *sighing* I didn’t want to say this but Jason brings up points for why Red Hood should kill. But not why Red Robin should kill. We have evidence that you should never go down that path in multiple different universes and futures where you become . . . gun batman.

Everyone: *silence*

Dick: He has a good point

Steph: Hate to say this but yea B won

Cass: Red Robin: No Kill

Barbara: That’s at least 10 points.

Jason: I have so many more points to make.. but you know what, I cede your argument

Tim:.. I thought we agreed never to talk about Gun Batman ever again

[bearcosmic]

Steph: Ready when you are Boy Wonder

Clark and Bruce walk into the Batcave to discuss a JL investigation to find Kon in a containment cell, Jason, Dick, Tim, and Damian sitting crisscross on the floor besides him, while Stephanie stands at the entrance with a lead box in hand.

Clark: is that? kryptonite? What’s going on here?

Kon (in Tim’s body): Wassup bro

Bruce: bro?

Dick: Tim and Kon got their bodies switched by a magician

Clark: Should we call—

Damian: We aren’t imbeciles Clark. We’ve already contacted the wizards. The spell will expire in a day or two.

Bruce: Good work.

Clark: So? What are you guys doing?

Jason: We’ve had a bet going that kryptonians have weak pain tolerance and that’s why green kryptonite affects you guys so badly. cause your wusses.

Superman: So your.. gonna torture Tim to find out?

Stephanie: Not torture. Experiment.

Dick: We are trying to figure out where kryptonite exposure feels like on a scale of 1-10

Cass: Face Punch to waterboarding

Clark: ..

Dick: I have money on it being a solid 7

Jason: Tim and I put money on 5.

Clark: This is ridiculous. Tim get out of there. Stephanie bring me the Kryptonite.

Tim (in kons body): Nah this is completely consensual don’t worry, we have a safe word and everything. I’ve been waiting for a chance like this forever. No way am I gonna miss out.

Clark: Bruce, do something

Bruce: ..

Dick: *laughing* You forget who made us this way

Stephanie enters the containment cell and opens the box. Tim(in Kons body) stiffens for a moment, then takes a deep breath. He stands up and gets closer and closer to Stephanie, his breath getting a tiny bit more ragged as he eventually reaches over to close the box.

Jason: Well?

Tim: The pain is proportionate to its proximity. Initial exposure felt like a 4–broken ribs but steadily increased to a 6— full body electrocution as I grew closer. Nausea and a headache are also present symptoms.

Damian: Hmm. The effects have been greatly exaggerated. I assumed it would have felt like being set aflame.

Kon: In my defense, i’m technically only 4 years old.

Tim: We could probably work on you guys’ pain tolerance a bit with a red sun lamp to get you more accustomed to discomfort

Bruce, squinting at Clark: Hmm

Clark: I’m going home

[chiyana]

Some douchebag influencer decides to challenge one of the Waynes to an MMA fight, and he goes with Tim.

Big public announcement, making a big deal of it, mockingly suggesting the Waynes can donate the proceeds to charity, so long as Tim gets in the ring with him, and people are like, Tim? Tim Drake-Wayne, smallest of Bruce Wayne's kids, so baby-faced he looks like a high-schooler even in his early twenties Tim? And there's a huge kerfuffle, people calling the influencer out for going after someone way smaller than him, being a coward by not picking Bruce Wayne or even Dick Grayson, and people egging him on to beat up Bruce's 'girliest' kid and betting Tim will back down and "Daddy Wayne will just bring out the lawyers".

And then Tim says "yeah sure". And yes he DOES set it up so that the proceeds will go to the Neon Knights program, thank you very much, and he doesn't really hype up the fight or seem that worried about it online, and the influencer is talking constant shit and posting videos of him training to get ready to "beat little Timmy's ass", and he keeps trying to goad Tim online but the most he gets in response is Tim going "k".

The day of the fight, the venue is packed, the whole Wayne clan is there to cheer Tim on, medics are on stand-by for when Tim gets badly hurt, and everyone is So Ready for This. And the influencer is a big guy who's in shape, and he's won a few fights already, and Tim looks itty bitty next to him, but also he's a lot more fit than people were expecting? Like he's got more scars than people expected (which was zero) and he's got good muscle tone, and he squares up like an actual fighter, but he's still way smaller than the other guy.

Then the bell rings and Tim wipes the fucking floor with the influencer. He's fast and ruthless, and the influencer gets maybe two hits in before Tim is in his space and climbing him, locking his legs around the guy's neck and throwing him to the ground with his momentum. The fight is fast, which people expected, but it's because Tim hammers the guy and takes him down before he knows what's happening, which people did NOT expect.

Afterwards, people are trying to break down the fight and figure out what the FUCK happened, and one retired MMA fighter admits he pretty much knew it was going to turn out like this.

"Bullshit," the other commentator goes. "Bullshit! How could you have possibly known that Bruce Wayne's kid was a fighter like that?"

"One," the guy says, grinning, "the kid's a Gotham native. Gotham natives fight tooth and nail, even the richer ones. Two, he's said before in interviews that he took self-defense classes as a kid."

"Oh bullshit, plenty of kids take karate classes growing up-"

"Yeah, but 'plenty of kids' don't have a non-meta kid sidekick running around their city. You know how Star City has some of the best youth archery classes in the country? And how that came about after Speedy came on the scene?"

"Oh my god," the other commentator mutters. "Drake's a fucking Robin fanboy, isn't he."

The retired fighter grins wider. "Is he ever. So he's been taking self-defense and martial arts classes from a young age. Then he got taken in by Bruce Wayne, who's first son was raised as a world-class acrobat before Wayne took him in, and since then he's become an Olympic gold medalist for gymnastics, and now he's Tim's big brother.

"And the piece de resistance," the fighter says gleefully, "head of Wayne Enterprises R&D and close personal friend of Bruce Wayne is Lucius Fox, who's daughter briefly dated Tim and who's oldest son is Luke motherfuckin' Fox, one of the best MMA fighters I've ever seen."

"Oh my god," the other man repeats.

"So on top of learning martial arts for years, that's two people directly in Tim's circle who are top-tier athletes, who I'm damn sure wouldn't have let him in that ring without knowing how to handle his shit."

"...So Brad's lucky he made it out of that ring with all his bones intact."

"Damn lucky, even."

[chiyana]

Tim tells the Batclan he's going on a space mission with Young Justice for a few weeks, he's got everything sorted civilian side and his cases and patrol routes covered, and also if any of his usual Rogue's Gallery suddenly comes looking for him don't worry about it.

And all of that is fine and normal - except that last part hey Tim what the fuck does that mean?

and Tim just goes it's fine don't worry about it anyway gotta go bye! and then he just bounces

and everything is fine until not even a day later when Babs forwards them a video Red Robin uploaded to his social medias that is a music video of him (Red Robin) seductively lip-syncing along to Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" against a backdrop of fail compilation clips of several of the villains Tim has a particular grudge against, including Azrael, Lex Luthor, and most prominently Ra's al Ghul.

so there's Tim, in a form-fitting catsuit styled like his Red Robin costume, in heels, feeling himself up with a video clip in the background showing Ra's tripping on his own robes and face planting into the brickwork, evidence he dyes out some of the gray in his hair, his sash coming undone and pants falling off in the middle of a fight, trying to swipe the effects of a glitterbomb off of himself, etc.

It all ends with the Mean Girls clip of "why are you so obsessed with me?"

The video is immediately viral.

(There's some clips of Red Hood in there fucking up but Jason can't even be mad because he's laughing so hard he's gonna throw up)

Tim's Rogues absolutely DO show up to Gotham looking for him, and while they all want revenge, Red Robin is THEIR arch enemy like HELL are they going to work with these other embarrassments, so they all start fighting each other and it is absolutely CHAOS (Lex decides discretion is the better part of valor and makes a statement that no of course he has nothing against Red Robin he has no idea why he was included in that video haha yes of course it was Very Funny when a bird accidentally pooped on his head he is Very Capable of laughing at himself Thank You, and then he quietly goes to one of his vacation houses and moodily drinks for several days waiting for things to blow over)

Tim, meanwhile, is having a wonderful vacation with Young Justice, catching up with Lobo and Slobo, chasing down some space pirates, and just getting out of Gotham and away from his Rogues trying to challenge him/seduce him/kill him/whatever.

Bruce is taking the constant psychic damage of having the image of softcore Red Robin erotica burned into his brain along with the realization that way, way, WAY too many of Tim's Rogues want to sleep with him like an absolute champ. (Dick is not taking it like a champ, Dick is taking it like an unhinged vengeful wraith and has had to be benched for trying to tear out Ra's throat with his teeth.)

Stephanie is having the Time of Her Life. Damian cannot look anyone in the eye and absolutely cannot look Ra's (or his mother who ALSO showed up prominently in the video) in the face and is Not Having the Time of His Life.

(Jason is with Steph on this one, he is having SUCH a blast, this is so fucking hysterical)

[shycorvid]

I am not immune to magical animal transformation fics. Also, my cat!Danny agenda. So, like, Damian finding a magically transformed Danny, mistaking him for a regular cat, then sneaking him into the manor obviously tickles my fancy. But also, Cat!Danny winning Alfred over by being a complete narc every time one of the bats try to do something stupid while injured is just... *chef's kiss*

Bruce- *trying to sneak down to the batcave while injured* Danny- *looking for mischief, sees injured Bruce swaying in hallway* Mrow? Bruce- Shh. Danny- *slightly louder* Mrep?! Bruce- I will give you all the tuna in the world if you- Danny- *air raid level yowling*

[missgadabout]

Oh prompt for the community. Have Danny outing one of the bats until we have at least one for everyone.

First Suggestion Tim on day 3 no sleep.

Also at what point are each of them contemplating facing Damian’s wrath if they “rehomed” the dang snitching cat.

@allineedisonedream @arzuera @azulhood @bianca-hooks123 @bloggerspam @bluerosefox @dcxdpdabbles @dragonsrequiem @evilminji @flamingpudding @fightmebissh @hypewinter @help-itrappedmyself @hdgnj @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 @jedipirateking @kizzer55555 @ourrechte-blog @phantom-0-writer @puppetmaster13u @starlightcat04 @stormikitty @virgamsysxvolumes @zylev-blog

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

I need them to rehome Danny and have all of them being super relieved, only for them to get out of the car and enter the manor only to see Danny sitting there near the entrance before he flashes them the cat version of a cheeky grin.

He then snitches on them by yowling and hiding behind Damian when the boy gets home. Damian rightfully knows his family did something, but no one will tell him what.

Bonus points if he's hiding from something. I'm kinda bored of him running from GIW or his parents. I want a comedy of some ghost trying to catnap danny only to fail hilariously over and over as subplot. Maybe it's vlad, and the bats have to deal with a creepy old guy that this cat absolutely despises. Maybe it's some new ghost cause we definitely need some new blood in this Fandom. I look forward to someone pulling a Wes again ;)

Oh, and Batman cannonballs has sensors for ectoplasm (and I'm betting protection from spirits entering) so that could be another reason danny refuses to leave/ the Waynes agree to keep him

[frogaroundandfindout]

Danny looking at a sword wielding child: does he belong to anyone?

Bruce: y-

Danny: too late. Mine now.

[manapeer]

[wisecloudnightmare]

[hdgnj]

Cats have a good sense of smell yes? So Danny will be able to smell any hidden blood. Which likely leads to more than one instance of him getting it wrong. He thinks he's snitching about a hidden injury. But nope. He's snitching about them beating a rogue bloody instead. This is of course, just as annoying.

[angryraptor13]

Danny: *shrieking* I SMELL BLOOD

Red Hood: I-it's not *my* blood!

Danny: *shrieking louder* THAT'S WORSE!

[hdgnj]

Alfred makes him gourmet cat food. Danny is being spoiled rotten, in the most healthy way possible. He is going to have the best of the best supplies. None of them know who trained this cat. But whoever they are? They just wanna talk. Honest.

[legitimatesatanspawn]

The cat has anxiety. Who gave this cat anxiety? Did that blue vampire give the cat anxiety?

Since he's a cat, I guess Cass wouldn't be able to 'read' him well? But...

Catwoman. My knowledge of Catwoman is a bit... conflicting... as some versions of her are Very Cat-like and some are just cat-themed sneaky thief. But imagine Catwoman learning about "Snitches"... by sneaking around Wayne Manor during one of the charity balls.

Danny: Merp?

Selina: Oh, what a handsome little tom with such bright eyes. Now where did Bruce get you?

Danny: RAAAAAAAAOUUUU!

Tim, hiding from the party: SNITCHES, SHUT UP! I'M NOT EVEN HUR- oh.

Selina, eyebrow raised: Your cat is named Snitches?

Bruce: He's rather vocal about certain things.

Tim, mutters: And weirdly smart even for a cat.

Selina: Bruce.

Bruce, hand raised: Kyle.

Selina, drops some mcguffin into his palm: You never let me have any fun.

[hdgnj]

Selina trying her best to win over Danny. But he isn't having it. Every time she sneaks in he screams for attention. Conversely, every time she shows up in civilian attire and through the door? Perfectly fine. This amuses her greatly. She knows 'Snitches' can tell she's the same person. The first time she visited as a civilian he stared her down until Alfred introduced them. She would also like a guard cat please. Where did you find him?

[ailithnight]

They try to rehome him again, this time into Selina's place while she's out. He sticks around long enough for her to see him then bolts. He leads her on a long chase around Gotham until he finds Robin, climbing his shoulder as Catwoman comes to a stop on the same rooftop.

Damian is furious that Selina attempted to steal his cat, until Selina explains that he was simply in her apartment along with an open carrier when she got home. She was simply trying to catch him to ensure he made it safely back to the manor. Damian takes Snitches' calm demeanor as Catwoman offers him a couple of scritches and compliments as his verifying her story. Of course, that begs the question of how he ended up at Kyle's place to begin with. Snitches' "hiding" and hissing when one of his siblings lands on the rooftop seems a decent clue.

[hdgnj]

Damian is going to be so damn petty for months. He's also telling Alfred. None of them deserve after patrol sweets! Only plain boiled healthy stuff! Bland! Flavourless! Alfred, make it so!! Danny of course is also being a menace. They thought he was bad before? He's teaching Titus and Alfred the cat to snitch as well.

[seraphichana]

Omg I love the name. Snitches.

Did Jason name him? Snitches get stitches? Seems like something a street kid would name him.

[hdgnj]

One of them probably complained, causing Danny to perk up and preen gleefully. Since he reacted to it the name stuck. It would be great if he's the most loving of cats. When he isn't telling on them for misbehaviour? He gives them all so much love. Cuddliest cat in the world. They can't escape affection from him. They love and despise him in equal measure.

[ailithnight]

Don't you see? Him being a snitch is a form of love! He loves you. He loves you and doesn't want you to hurt yourself [more] by pushing yourself past your limits. He wants you to take care of yourselves. Because he loves you.

[hdgnj]

Danny is trying his best! It's not HIS fault his humans are dumb and stubborn! He will impose self care by being a menace if need be! He is slowly training them into looking after themselves. And Alfred is living for it. The best moment was most definitely when Master Bruce answered a called from Miss Diana. And had to turn down a case due to Snitches sitting on him. Claws lightly dug into his skin in a threat of worse to come if he dared move. Miss Diana was highly amused. And had shared the news of Snitches with the rest of the Justice League.

[ailithnight]

Bruce just sighs as the call ends. He looks at the cat? (Evidence suggests this is no ordinary cat, perhaps not a cat at all, but certainly at least near human intelligence, if not on par.) He gives the animal a couple scritches behind the ears, no need to be unkind to the juvenile creature, which Snitches delights in.

"Wonder Woman will tell the others that I am being bullied by a kitten. They will all have a good laugh about it. I have allowed this. I trust you understand that this behavior is only tolerated among allies. Batman has an image to uphold to maintain efficacy, which would be undermined should the criminal underworld learn of this."

Snitches blinks slowly at him, staring for a long moment before bumping his head into Bruce's with a purr. Bruce elects to read the action as an agreement of understanding.

[doctormead]

Ok, this scene just sprung to mind…

About an hour after the phone call from Diana, Snitches still was perched on his chest. Bruce sighed (which the cat responded to with a twitch of his ears) and gave the feline a level look.

“I can, and do, appreciate the need to comply with bedrest, but, if I don’t shift position, it’s going to be really uncomfortable for me. Not to mention the risk of developing bedsores.”

Ok, maybe Bruce was overplaying the risk of bedsore, but he really wanted to move just a bit.

Snitches narrowed his eyes a bit, then shifted over the the extreme right on Bruce’s chest…and then set in his claws juuuuust a tiny bit as a warning.

Bruce rolled slowly onto his left side, chuckling a bit as Snitches deftly shifted position so that he now sat pretty on Bruce’s lateral ribs. He was still pinned by cat, but moving felt good.

[hdgnj]

Clark and Diana are going to pester Bruce to introduce Snitches to the League. He might be more technically civilian support. But he is still doing good work looking after hero's no! The fluff bundle should get to meet them!!!

[doctormead]

A week later, Bruce has FINALLY been cleared to go back to full duty. First thing on the agenda is a Justice League meeting to get up to speed on what has happened in the last month. As he suits up in the Bat Cave, his glance happens to fall on Damien who is studiously scratching the ears of the Bane Of His Existence (AKA Snitches) as the feline sits on his son's lap. And then he remembers the texts Clark and Diana have been sending him ever since he had been barred by cat from helping with a mission.

"Damien. Suit up."

Damien looked up with a look of mild surprise. "Father?"

Bruce smiled and said, "I'd like you and Snitches to attend this meeting."

Snitches looked at him warily as Damien carefully placed him on a bench to fetch his uniform. Bruce's smile only became sharper. "It's just that Superman and Wonder Woman wanted to meet you." He pulled down his cowl and stood. "And as for the rest of them...let's say their sense of self preservation is sometimes worse than mine."

Oh, dear! How could a cat grin so evilly?

A short Zeta Tube ride later and Snitches is being cooed over by Wonder Woman. Batman is about to start the meeting when Green Lantern and Green Arrow stumble in. Batman's sharp eyes catch that Hal is trying to hide a limp and Oliver has his lips pressed hard together, but Snitches' nostrils flare. The cat jumps out of Wonder Woman's arms and starts yowling!

"Do you two have something to share?" Batman dryly asks the puzzled pair of heroes.

[hdgnj]

Batman: This is our new hero support animal. Snitches can scent injuries and does not hesitate to alert his humans to the issue.

Hal: You named your cat Snitches? And he tells on you if you get injured??? Only you Spooky!

[thenightwolf51]

Martian Manhunter joins the meeting and very quickly becomes Stitches obvious favorite.

This might be the point were its confirmed that Stitches used to be a (half) human teenager as Danny even as a cat would probably be mentally geeking out over a real martian

[deedevotee]

Martian Manhunter: Why thank you, Danny. It is always nice to meet a fan.

The whole room freezes as Martian Manhunter starts petting Snitches (Danny) and the cat showing such affection, you'd think J'onn J'onzz was his owner.

Damian: his name is snitches. Why do you call him Danny?

J'onn J'onzz: well, he told me his name is Danny. And that he is excited to meet his favorite hero. Said he used to be one too before getting turned into a car by his arch nemesis. Said you met the man, called Vlad Masters.

Everyone is shocked. They call the magic users in for an emergency and Constantine gets there first.

Constantine: alright spooky, what did you call me here for? It better be -

Constantine stills and stares at the cat being pet by J'onn J'onzz. He puts his flask and cigarette away and clears his throat. He crosses his right hand over his left pectoral, and thumps thrice. With a low bow, he speaks.

Constantine: I greet your Majesty Phantom, High King of the Infinite Realms, defeater of Pariah Dark, the boy king, Hero of Amity Park, Saviour if the Realms and Living beings, the Balance between the veils, protector deity of Heroes, children and the innocent, Infant Ancient of Space, the True Halfa, changer of Fate, Saviour of Earth.

Constantine bowed again, before standing upright and at attention. The JL had never seen him this serious and that was saying something. Constantine asked J'onn J'onzz to set up a telepathy link between everyone present, and in doing so, everyone heard Danny's voice.

Danny: Hellblazer, it seems recovering your soul fragments has done wonders for you. Would you be able to reverse the spell Plasmius cast upon me.

Constantine: it has, thank you for your aid. I will try my best, your Majesty.

As Constantine turned to leave, Danny called out till him.

Danny: by the way, where is my niece?

Constantine: Raven is currently on a mission, your Majesty. Shall I send for her to present herself upon completion of her mission?

Danny: Hm, very well Hellblazer. I await your return.

With one last bow, Constantine dashed out the room like it was on fire. The Bats turned to Danny to ask questions, but Danny held a paw up.

Danny: While I would love to answer your magnitude of interrogation questions, Dark Knight, I require my afternoon sleep. By the way, Lady Gotham sends her greetings.

With that, Danny leaped into Damian's hands and slept, leaving a flabbergasted JL behind.

[leilakeila]

I love that this AU keeps coming back to my feed, each time I read Danny yowl or scream to snitch it makes me think of that meme of the cat that ate a light and sounding like those emergency alerts lmfao

Oh Snitches!Danny you are my favorite

The best part is that now they have a better idea on what happened to Danny, could this lead to adoption for the Waynes!?

Better even if he sticks around, maybe not as hero but as healer or support and care. He's been doing it for a while.

Hehehehe imagine when he tells Damian about the many times he was rehomed by the Batfam XD

The title "Protector of Heroes, Children and the Innocent" will click so quickly to the Bats, specially Damian since he voiced his concerns to Snitches about his family's wellbeing (well-being?? How do I-? nvm).

[freedomanddisorder]

I was watching a ghost hunter show where the ‘ghost’ could only use the machine to say pre-recorded words. And I had an idea. We know that technology can’t always work with ectoplasm. So what if ghost speak couldn’t be heard over the phone? And to call for help, the Amity Parkers had to get creative to get ahold of the Justice League when the GIW declares all out war on all the ghosts and liminal in town.

“Hello, you have reached the Justice League emergency hotline. What is the nature of your emergency?”

“Hello, hello. Emergency, hello. Justice League.” A distorted male voice answered back.

“Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me? what is the nature of your emergency?” Green Lantern asked again.

“I can hear you, emergency. Hello Justice League. Hello emergency.”

“Do you need help? Can you hear me?”

“Help. Help. Can you hear me? Help.” The voice distorted again to something like static.

“Prank calls aren’t funny kid. This is an emergency line.” With an exasperated sigh, Green Lantern hung up.

“What was that about?”

“It’s just a prank call. Some kid using a voice mod thing.”

“Really? That’s annoying.”

“I know. But it’s not that unusual. Kids don’t have anything better to do during the summer.”

“I guess. What are you doing on hotline duty? You’re not scheduled for refresher training for another few months, right?”

“Food fight in the cafeteria. Batman added everyone involved to additional monitor or dispatch duty twice a week for the next month.”

“Yikes. Hate to be you. Who else got caught?”

“Flash, Plasticman, Vigilante, and Shining Knight.”

Zatanna raised an eyebrow. “Can’t imagine Sir Justin getting involved in a food fight.”

Hal shrugged with a good-humored smirk, “Vig took a salad bowl to the head, Sir Justin jumped in to cover his retreat. Right in time for Bats to break up the fun.”

Zatanna giggled, “Poor Sir Justin.”

“Poor Sir Justin?” Hal Jorden gasped dramatically, “What about me? I was just an innocent bystander.”

“I’m sure you were.”

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Unlike you. I’m just here for one shift for refresher dispatch training.”

“Good for you. Well, have at it. The active-duty roster is on the big screen with who's suited up and available.”

Zatanna looked up at the large monitor with pinging dots in various locations around the world. “Alright. A bit better than the old system of scrolling for available heroes and asking where they are.”

“Yeah, Cyborg linked everyone’s com into the system so we can tell who is where, when their com is active.”

“Sounds good. Alright, Let’s do this.” Zatanna put headset on and clicked ‘available operator’ on the screen. Immediately her phone rang. “Hello, this is the Justice League Emergency Hotline. What is the nature of your emergency?”

“Emergency. Hello, Justice League. Emergency.” A female voice came through her headset. The connection was very poor. Interference and static came through.

“Can you hear me? This is the Justice League emergency Hotline. Do you need help?” Zatanna looked over at Hal. He was fiddling with his headset cord. He looked up at her and she gestured her head to the screen. It was the same number as his prank call.

“Hear me? Help. Justice League. Emergency Help.” The feminine voice sounded vaguely familiar. Zatanna ignored it to confront the prankster.

“Kid, this isn’t a joke. This is a serious line for actual emergencies. You can’t keep calling. I’m going to hang up now. Please don’t call back.”

“Isn’t a Joke. This isn’t a Joke. Please don’t. Hang up now. Actual Emergencies. Keep calling. Hotline. Justice League. Help. For actual emergencies.” The static under the female voice sharpened. Zatanna paused. Her finger was just hovering over the button to end the call when something stopped her. The tone of voice was sharp. Irritated. Also, strangely familiar. After a second it dawned on her. Hal was still looking at her, so she waved him over to listen into the call. Once he was listening with his own muted headset, she asked “Are you…? Are you repeating what I’m saying?”

“Repeating. Help. Isn’t a Joke. What I’m saying. Emergency. Help. Hello. Help. Emergency.”

Zatanna finally recognized the voice. “Is that my voice? Are you repeating with my voice?”

“Repeating. Voice. You. Emergency. Help. Isn’t a Joke. Help. Justice League. Don’t. Hang Up.”

“You’re using my voice to talk back to me? My words. And…You can only repeat what you hear… is that right?” Zatanna shared a glance with a horrified Hal. Him, just realizing he had hung up on an actual emergency. Not a kid playing a joke.

Zatanna’s own voice echoed staticky in her ear. “Right. Right. Can repeat. Only. Talk back. Using voice. Help. Emergency help.”

“Are you in danger?” She looked over at Hal who was typing on his own computer to trace the call origin. He looked back at her and shook his head. Weirdly, they can’t find where the signal is coming from.

“Danger. Emergency. Help Justice League. Help. In danger”

“I understand. I’m going to ask you where you are. Do you understand?” Zatanna was going to have to narrow this down. She pulled up a world map onto her screen.

“Understand. Help. Emergency.” The static in the voice softened slightly. Like relief.

“OK, we need to know where you are. What continent are you on? Asia? Africa? Australia? Europe? North America? South America?”

“North America. Help. Emergency.”

Zatanna clicked on the screen to enlarge the North American Continent. “OK, you’re in North America. Are you in Canada or America?”

“America. Help.”

Another click of the mouse to focus on the USA. “OK are you in the North, Northeast, Southeast, West, Southwest, or Midwest?”

“Midwest. Midwest. Help emergency. Help. America. Midwest.”

“OK I’m going to ask your state now. Do you know it?” Zatanna clicked on the Midwest region of the map to enlarge it more. Hal was standing up now. Anticipation making his body glow faintly green. He was texting something on his phone, but Zatanna ignored it to focus on her own echoing voice on the other end of the line.

“Know it. know it.” Her voice repeated back, “Ask.”

“Are you in North Dakota? Are you in Minnesota? Are you in South Dakota? Are you in Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Missouri, Wisconsin, Illinois, Michigan-“

The voice interrupted her. “Illinois. Illinois, Midwest America, Illinois. Help. Emergency. Justice League Help.”

“Do you know where in Illinois you are?”

“Yes, yes. Where Illinois. Emergency. Ask.”

Zatanna enlarged the map of the state infront of her. The closest hero was in Detroit Michigan and they didn’t’ have any abilities to help them get to Illinois quickly. She gestured to Hal to look at the screen. He nodded his understanding. “Do you know where in the state you are? what region or what county?

“County. Know. County.”

“OK I’m going to name a few counties. Tell me yes or no if you are there, okay?”

“Yes, yes. Tell me.”

Zatanna listed off the counties on the map. Her tongue slightly tangling over the midwestern words. “OK, Joe Durres, Steffensen, Winnebago, Boone, McHenry, Lake, Cook, Dupage, Kane, Dekalb, Ogle, Carroll, Whiteside, Lee-“

The voice interrupted again. “ Lake. County.”

“OK you’re in Lake County. is that right?” Zatanna clicked over the county and enlarged the map.

“Right. Right, help. Emergency. In Lake County.”

“OK I’m going to name off some cities in Lake County. Are you in a city? yes or no”

“City no. name cities. Yes.”

Zatanna paused for a second. “Do you mean you are not in a city, but you can name the closest one to you? yes or no?”

“Yes. Name. Closet one. Name. Closest. City. Emergency.”

“Okay. I understand. Are you in Gurney? are you in Libertyville, Grayslake, round lake, or round lake beach? Are you in Lake Forest, Zion, Vernon Hills, Highland Park, or north Chicago-“

The voice cut her off again. “Park.”

“Are you in Highland Park?”

“No. Park. In Park. Park. Park. Park. Emergency. In Park.” The tone of the voice did’t change but the words came faster, almost overlapping over themselves.

“OK calm down. Let me understand. Are you in a park or in a place called park?”

“In a place called Park. Help emergency. In place called park.”

Zatanna scanned the list of Illinois cities called ‘Park’ in the county. “OK are you in Round Lake Park or Beach Park, Deerfield Park, Park City, or Deer Park.”

“No. Place called Park. No city. place called park.”

“So you’re in a place called Park but it’s not a city is that right?”

“ Right. Place call park. Emergency. not city. Help.”

“OK, let's go down the list. Brook Park, Mill Park, Park Barrington, River Park, Park Township, VernonPark Hills, West Keegan Park, West Deerfield Park, Amity Park, Wheeling Park-“

“Amity. Amity Park. Emergency in Amity Park. Emergency in Amity Park. emergency help help emergency.”

“OK you're an Amity Park. Is that right?”

“Right. Right. In Amity Park”

Zatanna nodded to Hal who was still texting on his phone. He nodded back to her.

“OK, I know where you are now. Now we need to know what kind of emergency is it a natural disaster? is it a villain? is it an alien?”

“Villain. Emergency. villain villain villain.” The words came fast. Static was almost overwhelming.

“OK, calm down. I'm right here. Does the villain have powers or not.”

“Villian have. No. Powers. I'm here. Powers. Help. Natural- powers. Help. I'm. kind of. Natural. Help. Powers. We. Need help. OK?”

Zatanna paused. The sentences didn’t make sense. The villain did not have powers? But the caller said “I’m. Kind of. Natural.” She shared a look to Hal. Hal typed on his computer and a message appeared on her screen.

“I txted Flash. He can be there, but he needs to know what kind of situation he’s running into.” Zatanna read the message and nodded.

“OK. You need to give me more information. There are villains but they don’t have powers? Can you tell me what kind of natural powers you mean? Are they metagene powers? Are they magic? Are there weapons?”

“Magic. Weapons. Powers magic. I. powers. magic. Help. Can you help. Me?”

Zatanna felt a rush of fear. Magic powers. ‘Villains no powers. Weapons’ must mean that the villains don’t have any powers, but they have weapons that can affect the magic user who is calling. She looked over at Hal. He nodded. “Okay. I have magic too. I am going to Amity Park to help you. Can you tell me how many villains there are? Are there more than five or less than five?

“More than five. Villains. I have magic too. Villains. Weapons. more than we. I am going too. yes. Yes going. Help.”

So, the caller definitely needed magic backup. Zatanna gestured to Hal who began to send an all-notice message to any Magic using League hero. “Are the villains after your powers? is that right? the villains are attacking you for your powers?”

“Right. Right villains attacking for powers. Help emergency. More than me. Powers. Villains attacking. We need help. Amity park. Needs help.”

Zatanna froze. ‘We need help.’ More than me…powers. We need help. Oh god. “Is there more than one of you with magic? There’s a group of you with powers that the villains are attacking?” Zatanna asked. A group of magic users fighting villains? Maybe sending more magic users isn’t the best idea. They might need some heavy hitters for this.

“Group. with powers. Magic. Amity Park. Magic. Villains attacking. Disaster. Emergency help. Villains have. More than one of you. Of you. We. villains have. More than one. Of We.”

It took Zatanna only a second. By now she was standing up out of her chair. “Do The villains have hostages? With magic powers? How many?”

Hal had linked in the call with multiple coms. On the large monitor Zatanna could see multiple heroes dots shift slightly. All in the direction of Illinois. She was grateful to see Wonder Woman, Flash, and Captain Marvel all headed in that direction. “We’ve got hero’s coming your way. They will be there soon to help you and rescue the hostages.”

“Many hostages. Many magic in Amity Park. Weapons. Villains have. Weapons. We have. Magic. Villains have Hostages. Villains have. Soon. Powers. We need help. Heroes coming. Justice league. Help. Not villains. We not. Villains. Help we.”

Zatanna felt sick as she understood that message. ‘The villains have hostages and weapons. The caller and the others have powers. But then… villains have…soon…powers. Did that mean that the villains were taking powers away from whoever was calling? She paused at that last sentence. “You’re not the villains. what do you mean by that?

“We. Not. the Villains. Villains have hostages. Villains have weapons. Isn’t a joke. Isn’t. Isn’t Right. We. Not Villains. We Natural. We not weapons. We not villains. Help. Rescue hostages. Rescue. Me. Help Me. Help we have Powers. Help.”

“You’re not the villains, I know. You say you are natural. Do you mean that when the heroes get there, they might think you are the villains and get confused?” Zatanna knew that multiple heroes were silently listening to the call.

“We not the villains. Heroes might think. Powers. Are the. Weapons. We Amity Park. We need help. Justice league get here. Rescue Hostages.”

Hal messaged her again on her screen. Zatanna read off the message.

“We’ve alerted the Illinois National Guard as well. They’ll be there soon to help.”

“No. No. No. National Guard. No help. Villains. Guard villains. Help we. Help Amity Park.”

Zatanna looked confused. “What? No the national guard is coming there to help.”

“National Guard. The.Villains. They guard. The villains. No help. They’ll. Weapon. Amity Park. Powers. Justice League Rescue Amity Park. Help. Help. Help.” The static became so prevalent that Zatanna had to fight the impulse to rip the headset off. She tried to decipher the words.

“Okay. Okay we’ll help you. But we need to be able to find you. Are you in a house or a building? Can you get to a rooftop?”

“Building Rooftop. Heroes Find Me.”

“How can we find you? Can you wave a flag or give us a sign. Are you a woman or a man? What do you look like.”

There was a long pause. “I can. Wave. Kid. Kid. Woman. Kid woman.”

Zatanna wondered for a long moment where the word ‘kid’ came from before remembering when she first accused the caller of prank calling. She said ‘Kid, this isn’t a joke.’ The she felt bile flood her throat as she understood what they meant. “Are…are you a child?”

Zatanna’s own voice answered back. “Child. Kid. Woman child. Rooftop. Help Justice League. Find. Me. Help Hostages. Help. Amity Park.”

Flashes voice came over the com line. Muted from the call but clear in Zatanna’s other ear. “Oh my god. I’m here. It’s a war zone. There’s…We’re going to need back up. Medical units. There are tanks and fires everywhere. There’s been some kind of artillery shot at different buildings. It’s a war zone.”

There was a silent horrified moment as all the heroes listening absorbed the information. “I think I see our caller. It’s a little girl. Maybe eight or ten. White hair. She’s floating. She’s on the library roof with a giant phone. I think she sees me.”

In Zatanna’s other ear her own voice repeated. “Heroes find me. Rooftop. Help.”

“The man in red is called Flash. He’s there to help.”

“He’s there. Man In Red. Help. Flash. Find me.”

“I’m on my way too. Just stay with Flash and tell him what you need, okay sweetie?” Zatanna’s voice was infinitely softer now that she knew it was a child on the phone.

“Okay. Stay with Flash. Help. On. You. Way.”

The line shut off and Zatanna flinch at the sudden silence in her ear. She glanced over at Hal. “I’m going to Zeta down to Amity.”

“I’m right behind you. Flash said a war zone. I…I need to be there.”

Zatanna nodded at his guilty expression. “Right. Let’s hurry and get to Amity Park.”

[gothfoxx]

Dani calling in after Danny has to go defend civilians and having to plea for help is heartbreaking, she has to hide while being out in the open. Poor baby!!! How many times did she have to hide while she was out there?! Was that why it got harder to hear her at times!!!

[agentsquirrelsgotrobots]

When Flash got there, he almost got run over by a tank.

He had to force himself to keep going, the situation reminding him of occupation zones on Apokalips and the absolute disregard by troops over the people they were gunning down left and right, people coming back as green or blue hued being just to get sprayed with the pollen of these red flowers the invaders kept in clear jars mounted on the side of armored trucks.

Flash made the mistake of breaking one. Watching in horror as a newly created blue being dissolved into ash, her sobs echoed in his head as Flash called Zatanna for backup.

He found the little girl who called him on the library roof, the girl screaming at the phone to hold on, that Danny's coming soon, please Technus, hold on... the girl hugged the phone when its, their lights went out, Flash picking her up as quickly as he could and running her out, past the lines of tanks and to the outskirts of the nearest town, bringing her to a local diner and almost crying with relief as the old couple that ran it brought her to a booth, reassured him that she would be safe, and told him to bring as many as he could.

They had heard of what was happening, and by the TV they switched off when they sat her down with a late lunch, all they could do was watch.

Flash dashed back and forth, pulling out civilians and trying to fill his teammates in as he went. He made it to the local high school, gasping as he realized that the townspeople had turned it into a fortress, huddling in the blast shelter beneath it.

He openly sobbed when the cafeteria lady handed her 6 month old daughter to him, whispering how she had brought her to work for her favorite kids to see her.

Both her and her baby's father worked at the school, and by the way Flash had to dodge punches and a bat in order to get to the family. They were loved by the school too.

He sped out of the school, grabbing Hal along the way and making him promise to protect the school. He made it back to the diner to find it full, a few Amity Parkers that were traveling that day gathered around the TV, listening at low volume while the diners' regulars passed around a first aid kit. A new mom took the baby, and Flash returned to Amity Park, the rest of the Justice League Dark arriving and taking orders from Zatanna as he broke through the line of the now ruined tanks yet again.

Zatanna and Hal were evacuating the school, Booster Gold fighting the invading forces with Constantine and Plastic man, a blue being dressed as a punk rocker weaving between them, blasting the soldiers dressed in white, ducking behind the nearest hero whenever the soldier's guns got too close.

A white armored van bobbed and weaved madly through the chaos, the couple inside and presumably their daughter cackling like mad while gunning down and running over soldiers.

Supergirl showed up, too, tasked with throwing the tanks of poisonous flowers into the sun, along with moving the broken tanks out of the way of major roads, preventing the soldiers from taking cover inside them.

When the fighting was somehow, unbelievably over, Constantine, Flash, and Booster Gold painstakingly search the town for survivors, evacuating them to the same diner, the Justice League's support staff and medic corp having set up in the diner parking lot and surrounding areas, Flash letting out a relieved, half sobbing laugh as he watched the little girl from before and the baby be reunited with their families. The armored van from earlier pulled down the street, swerving to avoid a tent, rushing to join the girl and her brother.

Flash watched in silence as Zatanna called the all clear for the forensic teams to enter, biting his lip as the refrigerated vans drove into Amity.

The death count was not as high as it could have been, but he knew Hal, Zatanna, and himself would have many sleepless nights ahead running through all the ways that number could have been, would have been, should have been, lower.

[sayatumbles]

Hal and Zatanna are never going to get over the fact that they almost hung up on Dani a second time. That if something had happened to her before she could call back, this small town would have been destroyed without any help whatsoever. Everyone who takes emergency calls is gonna have to learn how to spot callers who can only repeat what you say after this.

[darkmodepls]

somewhere in the middle of the wreckage, they find Team Phantom.

The kids are beaten to hell and back, barely hanging by a thread, but they're still alive.

The Justice League hears the whispers as Danny is carried out of the red zone.

About how these are the town's protectors.

About how they'd held the line for nearly 2 years.

About all the people standing here today that owe their lives and afterlives to the trio.

They're children.

All the League can think about it is that they are still children.

[cesiarune]