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summary: academic rival!seungmin x student!reader
genre: fluff, a sprinkling of crack; enemies-to-lovers, highschool au, drabble.
wc: 0.433k
"I like you."
Seungmin's face was utterly deadpan.
"I- you- what?" You spluttered, frozen in front of your open locker. "You literally tell me you hate me, like… every day?"
Seungmin shrugged. He was leaning against the locker in front of yours, arms crossed. A few strands of his brown hair were straying into his face, but he made no effort to pull them back into submission. His eyes were unreadable behind his gold-rimmed glasses.
"Forget it, Mong." You slammed your locker closed, a smirk coming over your face as you understood the situation. "Your little trick would work on someone dumber than me." With that, you slung your backpack over your shoulders and walked down the hallway towards the school doors.
Just before you reached the doors, you were grabbed by the wrist and shoved into the wall. Seungmin's hand was next to your face, caging you in as he looked at you with a hint of desperation in his face.
"You're so stupid," he muttered under his breath. You heard it loud and clear.
"Oh?" You retorted, ignoring the way your heart was racing about three hundred miles per hour. "Sure you're not… projecting?" You drew out the last word, just barely tracing the tip of your fingernail up Seungmin's chest, stopping when you reached the edge of his jawline. You pulled your hand away immediately, but didn't fail to notice the way Seungmin's whole body shivered under your feather-light touch.
Within a breath, Seungmin had caught your hand in his. You felt your whole face contort in surprise at the way he held you so gently. Watching as your eyes lingered on his grasp, he slowly interlaced his fingers in yours.
What was this boy thinking…?
"I don't hate you," You lifted your eyes to meet his, and caught your breath on the sincerity held within them. Warmth, dripping like honey from his brown eyes. "I like you."
It was a good thing the hallway had long since been left empty, or you were sure someone would catch you looking like some kind of fish in water, opening and closing your mouth meaninglessly as you stared, wide-eyed and red-faced, at the boy in front of you.
"And if I'm not as pathetically oblivious as you are, you like me too."
As if his words were your command, you felt blood rush to your cheeks instantaneously. "Shut up," you muttered, lowering your gaze to keep him from seeing the woozy flush that had painted it. Then, surprising both him and yourself, you hid your face in his chest. "I hate you."
genre: painter!boyfriend!hyunjin x reader, drabble, fluff;
wc: 0.250k
a/n: hyunjin my favorite work of art <333
"I, uh, painted you."
It wasn't great, obviously. Nothing compared to the masterpieces your boyfriend like they were nothing. No, you were no painter, and you had known that full well when you'd decided to paint your boyfriend a portrait of him for his birthday.
Hyunjin gently put the wrapping paper aside, examining the canvas closely. "Y/n, it's…"
A nice thought? Although at first you'd been pleasantly surprised with how well the painting had turned out, you couldn't help but jiggle your leg nervously as you sat on the couch in the growing silence, watching your painter boyfriend look at your sad excuse of a birthday present.
"It's perfect."
Your head jerked up to meet his eyes as Hyunjin's words reached your ears. "You like it?"
"I like it? Do I like it?? Babe…" Hyunjin's voice, high in pitch, suddenly cracked, and you became aware of the glossy shine of his eyes.
"Aw, Jinnie…." you sighed, scooching closer to him on the couch and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Don't cry. It's just a painting…."
"You have no clue how much this means to me," Hyunjin sniffled, setting the painting aside to gently pull you into his lap. "I love you more than words can express."
You hummed happily into his neck as he pulled you closer. "I love you too, darling. Even if you are a bit dramatic."
He chuckled, but said no more. All that needed to be said, had. In words, in touch, and in colors.
genre: fluff, friends to lovers au; valentine's special
wc: 1.547k
summary: in which reader forgets it's valentine's day and yunho finds a way of reminding them.
"Yunho!"
You stood in the doorway of your apartment, taking in the glorious sight before you. Yunho stood on your doorway, dressed simply in a white dress shirt and black slacks, blond hair combed neatly back from his forehead and large brown eyes shining in the late afternoon sun. His posture was a little stiff, feet planted firmly next to each other but shoulders loose. His fingers were clasped together loosely and he seemed to be holding his breath slightly. Still, he looked good. Too good for a best friend.
"Hi," you murmured, voice slightly breathy.
"Hi," he replied, voice louder than yours but gentle and full of warmth. Gnawing on your lip, you tried to ignore the sporadic palpitations of your suddenly fluttering heart and managed a smile as you welcomed him in. "Make yourself at home!" You called out to him, closing the door behind him and hurrying to put on the kettle for tea. Yunho immediately made his way over to your couch.
The time it took to fill the kettle and set it going was brief, too brief to fully collect your thoughts. Frankly, they were all over the place. Seeing Yunho in a white dress shirt had apparently scrambled your brain's electric current and you were struggling to remain unfazed. Still, you couldn't help but feel relaxed, excited even, after not seeing your best friend for the better part of the week due to the veritable mountain of assignments you'd locked yourself in your room with.
"Hi, Yunho," you giggled, settling next to the man on the couch. You wondered if it had always been this small.
"Hi Y/n," Yunho replied, turning his head to meet your eyes and smiling brightly. It wasn't an expression you were unfamiliar with, but it never failed to send warmth to your stomach and cheeks. When you'd first met Yunho, sitting next to you in class, you'd assumed he would be rude and condescending, as most of the conventionally attractive boys on campus were. To your surprise, he had greeted you with that big, warm smile, leaning over so his breath tickled your ear and whispering an introduction.
Yunho speaking drew you back to the present moment. He looked at you, obviously awaiting some kind of response, and you stuttered, "What, sorry?"
"I asked if you're doing okay these days," Yunho said calmly, shifting his posture to face you and leaning forward with a light of concern in his brown eyes.
"Oh," you stuttered. Doing okay, were you doing okay... "No, yeah, I'm fine!! Getting by, you know," came your meaningless reply, accompanied by a vague wave of your hand in no general direction.
There was a moment of silence as Yunho looked at you. "You don't look like you're okay," he hummed, scooching forward a bit more and gently catching your wrist in his hand. His thumb rubbed soothing circles in the back of your hand, and his eyes swept your disheveled figure, clearly not buying your dismissive response.
Following his eyes, you looked down at yourself. It was a sad sight indeed: a coffee stained, three day old t-shirt hung off your form loosely, your hands dry and cracking, your hair greasy down to its tips. Knowing yourself, you were sure the shadows under your eyes would be dark enough to qualify as minor black holes, sucking the life out of your face as they often did when you hadn't slept.
"Wow," you breathed out, surprised to see the stage you were in. "Yeah, sorry about that, I didn't know you were coming by so I didn't have time to clean up much... I look horrible," you admitted, blinking away your surprise. "You look great, by the way." Your gaze snapped up at him again, gesturing to his figure and hoping to divert the conversation from the utter mess of a state you were in.
"Thanks," Yunho replied easily, smiling again, but not without meeting your eyes. There was deep emotion shining there, but you couldn't put your finger on just what it was.
"Are you going out somewhere? or...?" Your question was left unmet, and you felt panic rising in the back of your throat at your friend's increasingly unreadable expression. "What? Am I forgetting something? Is there class today? Some kind of event? A-"
"Y/n."
You shut up, still nibbling on your lips as you looked at him, confused and still worried. He sighed, loosening his grip on your wrist to rub your shoulder comfortingly. "It's nothing like that. Don't worry." You took a deep breath in after his lead, closing your eyes as you tried to calm down. Your---or more like Yunho's---efforts to calm you down failed, however, when your eyes immediately snapped back open.
"Then why-"
"Do you really not know what day it is?"
His face held a hint of desperation, and you started racking your brain for any possible clue as to what you were missing. It was Tuesday, February... 10th? 12th? You weren't sure of the date, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Instead, you simply looked up at him, praying you hadn't forgotten something important. Yunho searched your face for any sign of recognition, but on finding none, he sighed.
"It's Valentine's day."
Those three words hung in the air like a blanket on a clothes-line, heavy, simple, and wet with implication. Then, you laughed. You doubled over and clutched your stomach as Yunho watched, smiling with you but visibly confused. When you finally straightened up, wiping away a tear from your eye, you sighed contentedly. "Gosh, thanks for that, Yunho," you chuckled. "I didn't even realize how long it's been since I've laughed until now..." You smiled contently. The kettle screamed for attention, however,and you quickly got up to pour the water.
"But... didn't you know?" Yunho said moments later, cup of tea in his hands and looking over at you from across the kitchen table where he'd followed you to.
"Know what?" You looked over at his face and realized he was still referring to the previous conversation. "Oh, valentines? I'm single and busy, Yunho. I don't keep track of these things."
He mumbled something under his breath as you placed your mug down next to him and sat.
"What was that?"
He looked over at you, a glint in his eyes and the beginnings of a wide grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. "I said, no you're not."
You shot him a quizzical look. "Yunho, I literally have not emerged from my room for the past four days. Why do you think I look like I've been run over by a train? I'm literally drowning in assignments right now, not to mention-"
"No, that's not what I meant," Yunho interrupted, his voice firmer, but still sweet. He was smiling widely now, but you didn't fail to notice the hit of worry still shining in his eyes. "You're not single. At least, not unless you want to be."
At this point, you were convinced you had forgotten English. Nothing Yunho had said this whole conversation had made sense to you, and you were about to tell him he shouldn't waist his effort on communication to your tired brain when Yunho spoke again.
He had pulled a rose from his shirt pocket and his open palm, extended across the kitchen table, was offering it to you.
"Would you be my Valentine?"
"Yunho, I-"
You stopped, chewing viciously on your lips as you met his bright eyes, then looked down.
"You can say no," Yunho murmured, smiling sadly and lowering his head to meet your gaze.
"No, that's not it, I just-" you sighed loudly and quickly ran your hand through your hair. "Look at me, Yunho. I don't need you to pity me, okay?" You met his eyes again, letting out a sigh. "As much as I complain, I would rather be single than- than…"
"Than date me?"
Your eyes widened and you began to splutter, rapidly trying to explain your thoughts before Yunho's face fell any further. "No- No, of course not, Yunho! I have nothing against that!! I just- I don't want to be anybody's pity project and as much as I appreciate you offering to be my valentine's, it would just be a waste of both of our time and I couldn't do that to you…"
You drifted off. Yunho was grinning so wide you thought his face would break. "You don't have anything against dating me?" He repeated, hopefully, and it took you a second to realize what you'd said out loud.
"Oh." You could feel the heat of blood rushing to your face and you let out a small noise, embarrassed beyond belief. "What- what I meant by that was- I just- I didn't mean to-"
"Y/n." Yunho stood, and you found yourself instinctively following suit.
You watched, open mouthed, as he walked around the table and knelt in front of you, rose still in his open hand as he looked up at you and met your eyes. You could almost physically feel yourself melting from the sincerity glowing there. "Let me try this again," he breathed, a light pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears.
genre: fluff; drabble; established relationship au
wc: 0.446k
a/n: hello loves i was sick and i am still recovering and so now you must imagine that you are sick too. that's just how it works here i don't make the rules !!
enjoy ~
"Morning beautiful"
There was no reply. Your entire body was contorted to a lump of blankets. Chan smiled to himself, sitting down at the edge of the bed. He had been up a while now, pouring over his laptop, and yet you were out like a light.
"Hey gorgeous," Chan murmured, leaning over the lump he assumed was your head and caressing it gently.
Still, there was no reply. After a moment of consideration, Chan pulled the blankets off your body in a whoosh.
Immediately, he knew something was wrong. You were curled up in the fetal position, visibly shivering, and a thin layer of sweat covered your forehead. You made little reaction to the sudden cold but to curl up further into yourself and wince.
Slowly, Chan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. It was burning hot against his lips. He let out a small sigh, standing up and gently placing your blankets over your still-sleeping body.
NyQuil, a cup of honey tea, a thermostat, your favorite plushie, and... what else would you need?
Chan slowly gathered every item you could possibly need by your bedside. He'd already decided he'd work from the home studio today in case you needed anything.
A knock at the door told him breakfast arrived. He opened the door, thanked the man, and then grabbed the bag.
When he opened the door to the bedroom, he was met with the sight of the same lump as before, only you had shifted slightly and were now peering over the edge of the blanket, eyes wide and searching.
"Channie?" Your voice was quiet and hoarse, barely more than a whisper.
"Hi baby," Chan cooed, setting the food down on your already crowded bedside table. He wrapped his arms around your blanket-covered body in a hug, letting out a grunt of satisfaction. You tried to push him off, but he was stronger than you on a good day, and today was not a good day. He noticed your weak attempt, though, and pulled off you.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"I-I feel sick and-" you quickly ducked your head under the blanket again as you began to cough, body shaking. After a few seconds, you took a deep breath and re-emerged to see Chan's worried eyes looking down at you. "I think you should keep away so you don't get sick too..." You finally finished, cringing at the sound of your gravelly voice.
Chan leaned over and pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. "And what kind of partner would I be then, huh? Don't worry, darling, I've already decided to work from home today. How about some breakfast, yeah?"
genre: spooky !! vampire au;
wc: 3.700k (Part 2)
tw: use of 'kill,' blood, scary stuff! UNEDITED !!
a/n: happy halloween !! i will regret posting this !! enjoy !!
Here you were again, two weeks later. In front of the most haunted manor you'd ever encountered in your career, standing under the light of the full moon.
Why? You'd asked yourself. You hadn't been able to write a single word since that night at the manor, mind whirling with questions and possibilities. You'd always written horror as if it were a kind of fantasy. Sure it was thrilling to lie awake some nights and pretend it was all true, that there really was more out there than what science could prove. But that night- that was real. You still had the blisters on your feet from running all the way home. You still had the blurry, pixelated photos to prove to yourself it hadn't all been a dream. You still had the voice of the man—vampire, whatever he was—ringing in your head.
‘Tell no one.’
Was it a command? A threat? Part of you wanted to pretend it had never happened. The other part of you, however, was inexplicably drawn to him: a beautiful, immortal creature, living in an ancient manor less than a mile from your house. And he hadn’t hurt you last time, so surely he wouldn’t this time either, right?
Almost subconsciously, you’d made your way on foot back to the manor. And so there you were, standing outside the gate of the manor you'd driven out of your way to avoid for weeks.
You stepped forward, doubting yourself all the way—past the gates and towards the front steps. You stopped at the foot of them, thinking.
This was probably the most stupid thing you’d ever done. You weren’t even really planning to go in, just to look at it again. You should probably head back now.
Just as you were turning on your heel, a loud noise made you look back. The great entrance doors had slammed open.
You knew what it was.
An invitation.
Shivering, you stepped towards the open doors.
The second both your feet were within the threshold, both the doors slammed shut behind you. Feeling a crawling sense of deja vu, you walked forward into the dark hall. Light suddenly flooded your vision, blinding you.
"Hello again," came a voice. His voice. Blinking as your eyes adjusted to the silver light that now filled the room, you saw, to your surprise, a long table in the center of the hall. On the other end of the table, closer to the stairway, sat the vampire. His posture was statue-like, poised and impeccable. His dark hair was combed back, revealing his pale forehead, and he was dressed simply in a ruffled white shirt left only half-way buttoned. He must have known you were coming.
"Hello…" You murmured, not at all sure what to say, what to do, heck, even what to think. Should you be relieved he knew you were coming? Terrified?
"Seonghwa."
"Sorry?"
"Seonghwa. My name is Seonghwa." These last words were uttered quietly, almost under his breath, and he would not meet your eyes.
"Um, hello, Seonghwa," you replied, slightly less terrified but much more confused now. There was a moment of silence.
"Sit down." Seonghwa's tone was firm, and you got the feeling it was a command rather than a pleasantry.
You obeyed, eyes widening at the sight of the absurdly long table. Dishes covered the red tablecloth, many and magnificent and strange. There was a seat on each end, facing a plate and silverware set of a gleaming gold color. Falteringly, you took the one closest to you. Seonghwa sat at the other end, a good ten feet from you. He was staring at you intensely, and you felt the need to look away. You decided the table was very interesting.
After several heartbeats, Seonghwa's voice broke the silence. "Humans eat this, no?" You glanced up to see him gesturing toward the food, and you nodded.
"Yeah, we do," You assured him.
"I had my maid help me," Seonghwa stated, matter-of-factly. And then he smiled. Not a cruel smile, not a smug smile, a happy one, even a proud one. "She was human once!"
You nearly choked on your own spit, hearing his words. Human 'once?' What does that even imply...?
Seonghwa was unaware of the effect of his words, and continued looking at you. After another handful of seconds passed, you cleared your throat.
"Um, Seonghwa, I don't mean to be rude,” you took a deep breath, “but why…?" You drifted off, trying to find a way to politely phrase your absolute flabbergastment at the entirety of the situation. What did he want from you?
He seemed to pick up on your unspoken question and let out a small sigh. "Ah, that. I'm afraid I may have... well, given the wrong impression to you that evening."
You cocked your head at him, even more confused. He noticed the failure of what he must have deemed a sufficient explanation and shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
"I didn't mean to scare you." These words were spoken softest of all, and you felt your heart stop. He... didn't mean to scare you? So, he wasn't trying to hurt you or anything? What did he want, then? Why had he even invited you back? Just to apologize? Surely not.
"Is that why you invited me back? To... apologize?"
Seonghwa stood up. "That," he admitted, slowly walking towards you, "and I wanted to show you something." You felt your heart begin to pick up pace as he drew closer. Nope. This was it. This was the part where he took you outside and drained you dry. You should have known it would end up this way. Should you run? You were a fool for ever entering this mansion. You were going to die now. He would-
Seonghwa stopped.
Your eyes remained fixed on your lap, fingers clenched tightly and pulse pounding in your head.
"I'm not going to hurt you."
That was all it took. "Please don't," you breathed out, trying in vain to hold back your tears. Wow. You hadn't even realized how utterly terrified you were until now. Your whole body was shaking, your fists clenched and nails digging painfully into your palms.
A cold hand on your cheek made your body freeze. Seonghwa lifted your face, holding it ever so gently, until your wide, watery eyes met his. Slowly, carefully, he trailed the length of his finger under your eyes, catching a single tear as it spilled and brushing it off your face. He looked searchingly into your eyes, and you found that his own gleamed with emotion. He pulled his finger back, and you remember how to breathe again. Your eyes followed him as he turned around and walked off, mind still in a muddle. He stopped, perhaps ten feet from you, and looked back.
“Please follow me. I believe you’ll want to see this.”
After a second or so of hesitation, you stood, rubbing your nose with the back of your hand. He turned back again and began to walk not up the stairs, but to the right of them, towards a door you hadn’t noticed. You followed him, keeping a good bit of space between you and Seonghwa’s back. You still couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t going to hurt you, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to stand the curiosity that already burned in you without seeing what it was Seonghwa claimed you’d want to see.
He led you through a long, carpeted corridor, lined with strange, ancient paintings and bits of parchment, scribbled on in unfamiliar languages. He walked past several doors, stopping only long enough for you to catch up, his pace slightly outstripping your own.
The two of you stopped at the end of the hallway. The door in front of you opened to what looked like cement stairs leading down into darkness.
He paused, glancing over at you with a soft expression. His eyes were wide and shone with concern, and, catching up to him, you couldn't help but feel slightly more at ease. Were you wrong about this whole thing? Maybe he really was just… trying to show you something? For some reason, you found yourself wanting to believe it.
“What I want to show you will be… shocking."
You felt a thrill run down your spine at his words, of excitement or fear, you didn’t know. "O-okay," you muttered, chewing on your lip in uncertainty. The stairs in front of you seemed to simply disappear into a void. He didn't move. You didn't really want to go down there… at least, not alone. You glanced up at him, and he was still looking at you, but his expression had changed. His eyes had fallen lower and were now fazed with a thick kind of fog. His jaw was slack, tongue moving slowly over his bared teeth.
"Um, S-seonghwa..?" You backed up slightly, voice shaking. You felt your eyes close, face turned to the side as he leaned toward you, a mere inch from your neck. He was going to kill you.
"I'm sorry." Your head jerked back and your eyes flung open. Seonghwa was leaning his forearm on the wall, head hung and jaw clenched. "Go ahead. I need to-" his tone was breathy and wavering. "-to catch my breath."
You wasted no time obliging him, now feeling that a dark staircase was a better option than a hungry vampire.
The stairs were cold and descended for longer than you had expected, eventually completely enveloping you in darkness. You stepped forward cautiously, but stopped when you felt your feet hit flat ground. The sound echoed, and you became aware that the darkness fill some vast space around you. The air was cold, but not fresh. It smelled slightly musty, slightly humid.
The sound of a clap made you jump slightly. The space was suddenly flooded with a warm, flickering light. Candles had been lit every few feet around the room, bathing it in warm light and allowing you to properly examine its contents for the first time.
It was a large, simple room with stone floors, walls, and a wood ceiling. There was not a single piece of furniture in the large room, but on the walls and placed up against were countless objects. Some paintings, some sculptures, an open book on a stand, several bookshelves, scattered glass cases with treasured items like jewels or taxidermy within, some items whose purpose you couldn’t even guess.
You turned your neck to find Seonghwa, looking more like himself than he had a few minutes ago, leaning against the doorway a few feet behind you. He was looking at you, and glanced down when your eyes met his. "This is the basement. I hope you find it to your liking." He shifted his weight to his feet and placed himself next to you, walking forward and leading you towards the left side of the room, near the middle. He stopped in front of an old and weather-beaten tome, open to somewhere in its middle, filled with strange symbols and drawings.
You stopped next to him and stared at it. It looked like something out of Harry Potter, but stranger, and somehow more beautiful. You felt yourself step closer to it, but hesitated when Seonghwa put out his hand to stop you.
“Don’t. If you get too close, it will consume you.”
You glanced over at Seonghwa, hoping he was joking, but seeing no hint of humor in his eyes. You shrunk back, stepping behind Seonghwa slightly.
“What is it?”
“Ⰾⰻⰱⰵⱃ ⰾⱆⱀⰰⰵ.” If the sounds Seonghwa was making were words, they were strange and ancient. You felt them trickle into your ear, and shuddered. The words echoed around the stone walls of the basement room, fading slowly. “In your language,” Seonghwa explained, “‘The Book of the Moon.’”
You shivered. The Book of the Moon.
Looking at it now, a little further away, you could see that the runes inscribed in the tome were of a kind of gleaming silver ink, and shone on the page like moonlight.
“I’m,” Seonghwa started, then gulped loudly. You glanced over at the vampire, who was staring intensely at the ground, limbs stiff as a wall. “I’m going to need you to prick your finger.”
Still not looking up, you watched as Seonghwa fumbled with the folds of his clothes and pulled out a small silver dagger. It was a sleek, ornately etched blade with a glittering hilt the color of emeralds.
You backed up slowly when Seonghwa took it in his right hand and offered it to you.
Book of the moon? Prick your finger? You’d never heard of vampires associating with magic of any but their natural kind. This- what was going on??
“Why-?” you managed to squeak.
Seonghwa still wasn’t meeting your eye. “I know this is… alarming. However, I need you to cooperate, for your own sake. It’ll all make sense in a second.”
You continued backing away, now frantically looking around at the room. Your back was to the door. Was there any chance you could escape? A very small one, perhaps.
Seonghwa was now looking at you with pleading eyes. “Please cooperate. I don’t want any harm to come to you.”
Your heart was pounding in your chest. It was now or never.
You stopped. Seonghwa stopped too.
“Are- are you sure…? You aren’t going to… to bite me?” you whispered these last words, voice trembling but eyes staring deep into his.
“I swear that no harm will come to you if you cooperate,” Seonghwa replied, raising his hand to his chest and getting down on one knee in a sign of solemn assurange. “I only need you to prick your finger with this knife, and the book will show you what you need to know. I will trust your deci-”
You were gone.
Well, not gone. Running up the stairs as quietly and as quickly as you could manage. You’d made it into the hallway, actually. But here you turned and practically flew up the central stairs, diving into one of the hallways that faced you when you reached the moonlit platform.
You were curled up, breathing heavily but as quietly as you could, just around the corner of the hallway on the second floor. You strained your ears, trying to hear something, anything.
It was no use. There was complete and total silence, of a depth and absoluteness that made even your own thoughts seem like screams echoing into the endless void that surrounded you.
Seconds passed. He knew by now. He had to. So where was he?
A minute passed. Your eyes were closed, focusing all your attention on your ears, trying, praying, hoping.
Thirty more seconds. You couldn’t take this anymore. You opened your eyes, and screamed.
Red eyes.
Before you could blink, smooth fabric was pulled over your eyes, and you felt an iron grip on either arm keeping you from pulling loose. You screamed again, muffled by the fabric in your mouth, and tried to pull away from the grasp. It was useless. You thrashed and bit and kicked, but it might as well have been against a statue. Adrenaline that had gotten you to run so quickly was now fading, and you felt the strength you had leaving your body. Fighting.
It was no use. Of course. You were completely under the whim of a vampire, an undead monster. He could do whatever he wanted with you.
Your head was pounding. Your eyes closed, trying to stop the waves of nausea that tossed it around in circles. You held your breath, feeling Seonghwa’s grip loosen on your arm, but the dull pain of his iron grip was replaced by a piercing pain in the tip of your thumb. You gasped, instinctively yanking your arm away.
This time, he let you. One hand now free, you pushed with all your might at the arm that was still holding you, and it let go. You were off-balance, however, pushing against with all your might against a figure that suddenly gave way.
Falling. You were falling.
You were standing on a moonlit shore, staring up at the moon. She stared back at you, full and bright and white.
The sound of the waves gently rolling into each other seemed to be a voice, their rippling murmurs almost alive. You let the sound of it roll over you, and you closed your eyes once more.
She was smiling. A woman, standing in her well-lit kitchen, apron hugging her motherly figure and flour lacing her sleeves.
She wasn’t just smiling, though. She was smiling at someone. At a man. Standing in front of her in the middle of the kitchen. His eyes mirrored her joy, though darker, and were glimmering with delight.
They were dancing. Soft music you couldn’t describe played in the background as the two of them swayed together. Behind them, the kitchen clock read 3:49 AM, but the room seemed full of light and warmth in some strange way.
They danced circles around the room, orbiting the center table. Time passed slowly. The clock on the microwave read 4:05, then 5:21. Still they danced.
Your eyes flew open. You felt a deep, aching familiarity blossom in your chest. That moment, it was like a scene from a movie you’d watched in your childhood and rewatched after many years. It was… it was beautiful.
“Y/n.”
The voice of the man even now seemed to be echoing back to you, calling the woman’s name with that tone, that love in his voice. That eternal heartbreak.
“Y/n.” You blinked. That was your name. Slowly, the world around you came into focus. You were looking up at the man. The man you’d seen in your dream. He was kneeling over you, eyes shining with concern and dark hair falling forward til it almost touched you. He was a mere breath away, and he was breathtaking.
Seonghwa. You understood now. The scene you had seen was your future, your future with him. The Moon. She had guided you to him. She had bound you to him before your birth, and your futures were as inseparable as foam from waves, as light from stars, as love from joy.
“Can you hear me? Y/n? Say something, please.” His arms, which you realized were keeping you up, tightened around you, drawing you closer to his chest.
“Seonghwa.” His head whipped upwards at the sound of your voice.
“You-” His voice was choked. “You’re unharmed.”
You smiled at him. Seonghwa did not return your smile.
“Can you stand?” He lifted you up to your feet again carefully and set you on the ground. Shakily, hands gripping Seonghwa’s shoulders, you let your weight shift onto your feet. “I apologize. I wasn’t aware of the full strength of the Book. You fell out of my grasp, and I almost couldn’t catch you.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. Allow me to escort you to the door?”
You looked up at Seonghwa from where you had been focused on your trembling legs.
“I don’t think I can make it home like this.”
Seonghwa looked you up and down quickly before stepping closer than he already was to you.
“May I carry you?”
You sucked a breath in at feeling the closeness of the man. You had to crane your neck up to meet his eyes.
“Seonghwa.”
His eyes had closed as he sucked in a breath slowly.
“I’m not afraid of you anymore. I know who we are. You’re my soulmate.” He didn’t reply at first. You raised your hand and gently traced the edge of his jaw with the back of your finger.
Finally, he spoke up. “I’m sorry. I cannot change Her mind. She has bound us in this life and in eternity. It is a kind of magic nothing but the oldest mages of this world can undo.” He took a breath in. “I know I’m a nightmare. I can still smell fear on you, deep in the fabric of your clothes and lingering on your skin. I just- I had to tell you. When you came to me first, I thought, perhaps…” He drifted off, seeming to be lost in his thoughts. He came back around, though, and continued. “I understand if you want nothing else to do with me after tonight. I respect your choice with my life, but I could not live without knowing it.”
You stood still thinking. Then, slowly, you grabbed Seonghwa’s wrist and placed his hand gently over the top of your chest. “You feel that?” you asked, knowing he could feel your beating heart under his palm. “My heart is beating so fast right now. That’s not fear.”
Seonghwa’s eyes were fixed on his hand, seemingly fascinated in the way your pulse gently beat against his hand. “I don’t know you yet. But I know us.” Seonghwa met your eyes for these last words: “I’ve never been scared of nightmares, anyway.”
His eyes were on yours. His hand was on your upper chest. His body was mere inches from yours. He leaned in closer, and-
He pulled back. “It’s almost dawn. You need to return to your home. I will escort you, if I may.”
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding and tried to ignore a sudden weight—of what, disappointment?—in your chest. “Yes, please.”
And so he did. Not in a magic, vampire kind of way. He walked you home, silent the whole way. You would have asked questions, made small talk, anything, but you were suddenly hit by a wave of exhaustion and fell silent.
The two of you arrived at your front door. You’d let him lead the way the whole time, letting your mind go on autopilot. He stopped, and gestured for you to continue. You trudged over your front steps and then heard his voice behind you.
“See you soon.”
“You too-” You stopped, facing an empty front step. He was gone, just as the first rays of dawn split the sky and fell on your lawn.
genre: spooky !! vampire au;
tw: mentions of anxiety, blood; christian imagery
wc: 1.514k (part one)
a/n: i have nothing to say abt my upload schedule. i have no answers only questions.
enjoy!! also, happy anniversary to ateez!!!
"Perfect hook," you muttered to yourself, chuckling as the wide, wooden doors swung forward of their own accord. You halted for a minute before stepping into what looked like a central hall, reaching for your camera and snapping a shot of the intimidating face of the building.
You lowered your camera, stepping forward slowly and feeling the cold night air seep through your coat and soak your skin. You walked slowly across the threshold of the doors, blinking as your eyes adjusted to the moonless darkness within.
SLAM!
You jumped, whirling around to find that the doors had slammed behind you.
"Wind's a paid actor," you chuckled to yourself, but the sound came out as a whimper.
This was ridiculous. You weren't scared, you literally did this for a living! Well, as a side job. Running a horror blog was the reason you were creeping through the old manor on the edge of town at 11:30 on a Friday anyway. Oh, the things you did in the name of ‘seeking inspiration.’
It's all fake, you reminded yourself, pulling at the doorknob and failing to make the closed doors even budge.
It's a trick of the mind. You glanced around at the empty hall stretching a good forty feet in front of you and on your sides.
I have control over my perception of reality. Your affirmation died mid-thought as you saw a shadow move in the corner of your vision.
Without thinking, you froze. Ten deep breaths later, nothing had changed. You were still cowering over a trick of the light not three feet into the mansion. Pathetic.
With renewed determination, you stepped forward and began walking as boldly as you could directly across the hall and towards an expansive, carpeted staircase that led up to the second floor. You tried to ignore how the sound of your footsteps against the stone floors echoed like gunshots, or how the beating of your desperate heart against the walls of your ribcage screamed at you to escape. To run and not look back. To stop, turn around, and head back through those doors out into the bright, starlit town streets until you reached the doors of your own house, safe and comfortable and—
No, you shook your head slightly, as if trying to physically shake off the strange feeling that had begun to settle into your bones. This was strange. Your fear was somehow greater than it ever had been before, and you were surprised at yourself. Surely you were just stressed because of your hectic schedule these days and imagining things? Or was your anxiety acting up?
It didn't matter. Coming out of your thoughts, you found that you had halted at the foot of the wide stairway. You glanced up to see the stairs melt away into a large platform, spreading into an open space bathed in red light that filtered through a stained glass window.
Up you climbed. The stairs beneath you creaked, squealed, and protested. The walls seemed to whisper as you rose. The red light of the moon through the stained glass window shed a spotlight on the raised platform. You felt, suddenly, as if the whole house was watching you. The stairs fell away into the dark hall behind you, and identical hallways spread out on your right and left. In front of you, a grotesquely medieval depiction of the crucifixion poured red moonlight on you like blood, dripping down the stairs until it seeped into thick darkness. Even the carpet beneath you was a dark wine red.
You lifted your head, strangely fascinated by the art in the window. The man’s face was screwed up in visible agony, eyes bulging and mouth open in a scream. There was a disembodied hand, however, covering the man's mouth, encasing his silent scream with pale, lifeless fingers. Beneath it were engraved the words,
'Yet He opened not His mouth'.
You felt a shiver run down your spine as the weight of an absolute certainty fell on you in an instant. Get out. You had to get out-
"Too late for that now, I'm afraid."
You turned, but could see no one. Your breath started to come in shorter and shallower puffs. Your mind raced. A hand on your shoulder. You screamed---but there was no sound. You stumbled backwards, and too late you realized there was no floor to catch you. You had stepped too far back and now you were tumbling into open air, falling down the staircase.
You were screaming, but you heard nothing. Closing your eyes, you instinctively raised your hands to cover your head, but before you could feel the sharp edge of wooden stairs on your back, knocking the air out of your lungs, you instead felt something softer, keeping you from falling further. Gasping, you realized you had been caught by someone—or something.
It was a touch completely devoid of human warmth, hard and still. Your one hand landed on your mouth, covering it, while the other grasped the arm by your side with bloodless terror. Your fingers twitched against your open lips, and you realized, numbly, that they were wet. Tears were streaming out of your wide eyes, and you were utterly frozen.
"Breathe," a deep voice whispered in your ear. As if it was a command, you felt your chest expand and air fill your lungs. Deep breath in, deep breath out... you could feel a presence behind you, but you couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't think.
You closed your eyes, taking another deep breath, and something in you awoke. You straightened up, pulled yourself out of its grasp, turned on your heel and settled your eyes on the thing that had caught you.
It was a man. Tall, dark haired, with burning black eyes and glowingly pale skin. No, actually- this wasn't a man, not quite. You felt dread settle into the pit of your stomach, examining his form. He was too tall, too pale, too perfectly still to be human. He was... something else, and his eyes almost seemed to be tinted red in the light of the moon.
"Please- please don't hurt me," you found yourself sinking to your knees, pleading. The words had come flooding out of your lips before you could even second guess yourself. You waited, holding your breath, for a response.
His cold eyes followed your figure as it crumpled, but there was a hint of amusement in them now, something closer to warmth, a spark of simple intrigue. He said nothing, but kneeled down, lifting your chin with a single, slender finger. Your eyes met. He smiled, and you had a second moment of realization.
He was fine. He was so, so fine. His plush, pink lips curled perfectly into a shining white smile. His face was well sculpted and his jawline defined, his eyes large and piercing and his skin smooth.
Then your eyes fell lower. His teeth. They- they were-
"You're a vampire," you said dumbly, words not fully sinking until you spoke them aloud. The man smiled wider now, baring his elongated canines as proof of his words.
"I am.”
Your mind was reeling, struggling to process this new information. "Is- is this your house?"
"It’s ours."
You felt terror rise like bile in the back of your throat as you realized your situation. The manor on the edge of town you’d assumed was either abandoned or inhabited by only lizards and crickets—it was occupied. By vampires. Real, actual vampires. More than one of them. And you had walked straight in.
"I-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean- I won't- I-"
The man placed a cold, slim finger on your lips, effectively shutting you up, and stood, gently pulling you up with him. You- he- what? You kept completely silent as he loomed over you, painfully aware of his hand on your arm and his eyes on your neck. Was he going to- to bite you? Were you going to die?? No, no, no-
Almost as if he sensed your panic, the man snapped out of his trance. He let out a slight breath. "Tell no one."
You blinked at him, trying to calm your breathing. He’d said to- to ‘tell no one?’ That meant he was… letting you go? Your eyes widened, and you instinctively tried to squeeze his wrist. "Thank-"
But he was gone. In a blink, the man had disappeared. Your hand was wrapped around open air, and you were simply standing alone on an empty staircase.
Slowly, hesitatingly, you turned and took one step down the stairs. Then another. Then two. You began to jump down several stairs at a time, and rushed into the hall.
You began to run, pulling at the doors when you reached them (thankfully they opened for you) and dashing outside. Out of the doors, out of the gates, into the brightly lit city streets. But even over the sound of your loud breathing and your shoes slapping against the sidewalk cement, you heard a slamming sound echo behind you.
a/n: a funky little drabble i decided to let lose on the world !! (i've never written for atz before so pls b nice) enjoy ~
"Anything you say, captain~"
All noise in the room seemed to be sucked into the vacuous pull of your brief, thoughtless string of words.
Hongjoong looked at you from where he was sitting on the couch. The silence in the room was reflected in his eyes, blank with shock.
After a solid ten seconds, the silence became too much for you.
"Sorry, was that weird?" You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, thinking back on the sentence you'd uttered so innocently less than a minute ago.
Hongjoong chuckled a bit dryly. "No! I mean- I just wasn't expecting that... from you."
The two of you laughed awkwardly. "Yeah," you began, feeling the need to explain your new nickname. "I've just heard some of the members calling you that, and thought, well..."
a/n: a fluffy bday drabble for best boy chris ! enjoy~
“Why, hello again”
You smiled, turning around to face the voice that had broken you out of your thoughts.
“Hello, Chris.”
He was dressed in all black, standing in the middle of your bedroom silently, but his face was lit by a kind smile and his eyes seemed to sparkle. Despite the glowing 4:22 that blinked from the face of your clock, you weren’t surprised to see the man in your bedroom. He had come many times before and you knew what he was here to do.
You patted the bed next to you, smiling at him in welcome. He stepped forward and sat down next to you. The two of you sat in silence, while you occasionally sipped from a glass of water you kept by your bedside.
“So,” came his soft voice after a while. “What is it this time?”
“Hmm… that’s hard,” you laughed, thinking about it all. “Rent’s due. Roommate moved out. Paycheck isn't coming for another week. And you know gas prices these days.”
“Hmm,” he nodded, contemplatively. “And yet you’re here, awake..." He drifted off. You understood, or you thought you did, what Chan was referring to. You didn’t know much about his duties, or how he even came to be the sandman, or even really what that meant, but you figured from the way he talked that you were somewhat of a rare case for him. Not being a medically diagnosed insomniac and all that.
“For most people, sleep is an escape. But… not for me. It just makes tomorrow come faster. And, well, it’s often worse.” You looked over at Chan, and he was staring at you a mix of curiosity and a glowingly gentle empathy.
“Worse than daytime?”
“Yeah. I don’t really get sweet dreams, if you know what I mean.”
He did know what you meant. Your nightmares. That’s why he’d originally been assigned your case—or, more accurately, why he’d picked it. The others in his division had dismissed your case when they saw it, some even going so far as to claim your file had been accidentally misplaced in the wrong department. But not Chan. When he’d read about--when he’d seen described--the kind of torture you had to go through most nights at the mercy of your own mind, he knew he had to do something.
And that’s why he was here. Even after the emergency warning had been taken off your file. He knew that healing took time. And luckily for you, he had a lot of that.
“Well… you know what I'm here for.” Chan looked over at you, and you could see, even in the dim moonlight, the regret that pooled there. His duties were usually a pleasure to him, but not tonight. Not with you.
“I do.” You smiled at him again, but it was a tired smile. “But don’t you think you could just wait… a little longer?”
The two of you locked eyes–yours pleading, his wavering–before he let out a sigh and ruffled your hair with his hand. “You’re going to get me fired.”
“Is that even possible?” He was chuckling to himself, but his words had made you curious. He looked over at your earnest expression and smiled.
“I wish. Mine isn't really a job you can just... resign from." Chan chuckled to himself, but you thought he sounded more somber than amused.
"So, how did you even... get the job?" Chan's eyes met yours again, and you could see surprise there. "Uh- if you don't mind me asking, that is."
"I don't," replied Chan. "I mean- I'm not really supposed to tell anyone... anything about it, but I'm already here talking with you, so I might as well."
"Hmm," you giggled. "I guess I really am that persuasive, huh~" You bumped your shoulder into his, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. He laughed.
"I guess. I'm sure you wouldn't understand anything about it anyway." The smirk you loved so much returned to Chan's face, and you resisted your own smile, countering,
"Oh? Would I not? Try me, Chris."
And so he did. He told you he had once been mortal, a workaholic and an insomniac. He'd spent his sleep hours working to help others, forfeiting his own wellbeing. When he'd finally died after a sickness took over his weakened body, he'd been assigned to special agency in the afterlife: The Sleepkeepers, also known as sandmen. And that's how he would spend the next millennium, giving rest to those burdened by the world and by their own bodies. Person by person, night by night, he was redeeming himself.
"Only after I died did I realize how selfish it all was. I didn't let my loved ones care for me. I was too wrapped up in making sure I did enough for them that I never let them do anything for me. I refused to let them love me, and for that, I will never forgive myself."
Your eyes, which had wandered over the room as your mind was lost in the story Chan was telling, returned to meet his. He had a look in his eyes that seemed to enclose a thousand emotions all at once, as if he was seeing his lifetime play out in front of him in mere seconds.
Slowly, you lifted a hand and placed it on his shoulder, snapping him out of his trace and causing him to look over at you, a small smile suddenly slipping onto his face.
"Will you... meet them again? Your loved ones?" Chan's smiled widened at this.
"Yes, in a few hundred years. Once I've served my time as a sandman, I can chose to give life another try, or to retire into eternity by their side."
"And what do you think you'll chose?"
"...I don't know." Chan was silent for a second, before straightening up and frowning. "You need to rest. I shouldn't have blabbered on for this long. It's almost sunrise!"
"S'alright. I liked it. I like hearing about you."
"Let's get you to bed," was Chan's only reply. Slowly, gently, he pushed you backwards on your bed until your head hit your pillow. He pulled up your blanket and wrapped it around you, even tucking in a stray strand of hair that wandered your forehead. Before he could do anything more, however, you grabbed his wrist.
“Chris,” you said, looking up at him hesitantly.
“Yeah?” he murmured, smiling down at you.
“Could you… sing for me?”
Chan froze. No one had ever asked him to sing before.
“Please? I love hearing your voice. It makes me feel safe.” You continued to look up at Chan, and he eventually smiled awkwardly.
“Sure.”
You readjusted your head on the pillow as Chan took a deep breath. Then, as he began to sing, you felt your eyelids grow heavy. The words were strange and soft and foreign, yet familiar. The melody rose and fell gently, and you felt your chest follow suit as your breathing deepened. Finally, you knew no more, having fallen deep into a dreamless sleep.
Chan smiled, seeing your body relax and finally rest. He continued singing until he could hear your deep breathing, and then he leaned over you, reaching into his pocket and quickly sprinkling a fine dust-like substance over you.
Dreamless sleep, enough for seven hours. You’d wake up hours late for work and probably panic, but a small part of you would be glad. You’d feel better, even just a little bit. That much Chan knew.
genre: crack, fluff, supernatural au
wc: 1.517k
tw: mention of blood !! also unedited!!!
a/n: hey.... hey guys.... ik this was supposed to come out, like, two weeks ago but i'm trying my best here enjoy!!
“Wow, that smells insane…”
You blinked. Why. Why was there a man in your kitchen. Why.
You continued to stare at the walking burrito of blankets that was shuffling its way towards your pan of bacon. It took a few seconds for realization to hit.
“You’re real…” you couldn’t hide your tone of disappointment, and the man glanced at you in time to see your head thud into the table. A thud of despair. That’s what it was.
“You sound so disappointed!” he whined, and you groaned, raising your head enough to glare at him.
“I convinced myself you were a dream.”
“Oh? I do look pretty dreamy, don’t I?” He wiggled his eyebrows and you chucked your fork at him. He ducked.
“More like a recurring nightmare.”
He ignored your loud mutter, choosing instead to peer over the sizzling bacon and take a deep sniff. “What even is this?”
“Mine. That’s what it is.” You stood up, walking towards Han. “And if I remember correctly, our deal was eight hours. Its-” you glanced at the kitchen clock- “7:09 right now. Eight hours passed a long time ago.”
Han turned towards you, head lowered. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll grab my shoes.”
You watched as the burrito shuffled out of the kitchen to the garage.
Weird. You could have sworn you’d locked the door last night.
After a minute, Han came out, de-burritoed and fully clothed. Slowly, he walked towards the door, which you held open for him.
There was an awkward silence ad the two of you stood in the doorway, door open and a cold breeze playing with the ends of your hair.
"Well? What are you waiting for? Get out." Your tone was harsher than you intended, and you couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt and Han ducked his head, mumbling an 'of course' and walking through it. You closed the door behind him.
At last. Blissful peace at last. No more questions, no more aliens, just... normalcy. In the comfort of your own ho-
Was he sitting on your lawn?
Despite your better judgements, or any at all, really, you'd let your body carry you a step forward, to the window of the front door. Peering out, you saw a small, visibly dejected form slumped on your lawn. You watched in silence as a butterfly approached Han in an oddly masterful moment of poetic cinematography, and how Han, in turn, screamed.
"Really???"
"Whatever. You're stuck in the garage, the kitchen, or the living room, and if you make one move outside of those areas, you're out. For real."
You pointed a finger straight into hands face as you spoke, him nodding vigorously.
"Thank y-" Han moved toward you, but you flinched, stepping backward and raising your arms in defense. "Oh- sorry, I forgot!"
Straightening up, you took one long, hard look into Han's eyes. He blinked, swallowing seriously.
“You-” you poked a finger at him, “are only staying here until you can contact someone to take you home, understand?”
He blinked. “Home?”
“Yeah, home. I don’t know why you’re here, or where you came from, but I’m going to need you to go back. As soon as possible.” You glanced at his expression then sighed. “Don’t pout! I’m a busy person! In fact-” you glanced at the clock in the kitchen. “I have to be at class in, what, twenty minutes?” He simply stared at you, mouth slightly open and eyes wide. “Why are you staring at me? Skedaddle!”
He turned, muttering something under his breath that you couldn’t quite catch. Watching the receding image of his back, you wondered to yourself. Were you going to regret this?
Yes, you determined. Yes, you were.
~
You were ticked.
You’d been late to class because of a certain male, and that, your teacher had decided, was the final straw. You were already on bad terms with this certain professor due to the fact that you were beating his son in the class and didn’t particularly care, and so you’d made sure to always arrive at least ten minutes early to class, submit your assignments a day before, not wanting to give him anything to accuse you of. Today, the only day in the whole semester you’d been late—and only by three minutes, which was not technically enough to consider you late—he had lowered your participation grade by ten percent. And had told you so to your face after class.
Not to mention, your best friend had failed to show up to the ONE class you had together, leaving you to suffer through a 90 minute lecture with no one to poke, show tiktoks to, or simply laugh with when the professor tripped over the monitor cord.
AND, not five seconds after your last class ended, it had started raining. Not a little spitting or sprinkling, full-on rain. Pouring from the skies. You’d debated whether it was worth calling an uber, but you’d already called one this morning to save time, and you didnt really like the idea of paying for two in one day.
It was a mistake, you realized, half a mile in. It was only two miles in full, and on a good day you enjoyed taking the time to think and breathe fresh air. But no, not today. If anything the rain came down harder the longer you walked, and by the end you were jogging just to get home faster.
You stopped when you reached your doorstep, hands on your knees while you caught your breath. You wrung out your shirt as much as you could, then opened the door and stepped inside.
“Oh! You’re back…”
Han was standing in the middle of your living room, in your hoodie, covered in blood.
"..."
“Are you okay?!” you yelped, practically leaping towards him. “You are literally covered in blood?? How are you just standing there???? For goodness’ sake, what happened? Do I need to call 911?”
You stared at him, trying to read his face, which was red, his eyes refusing to meet yours. “Speak, Han. I need you to tell me what happened. Now.”
“I got hungry.” His words were quiet, muttered under his breath and followed by a dry swallow.
“You…?” You took a breath in, cocking your head and stepping back slightly, trying to piece together the information you’d just received. “What does that even mean in this situation?”
Han stared at you, not saying anything.
“Is that… ketchup?” you asked, hoping beyond hope. “Han, are you injured anywhere?”
“No,” came his reply.
“So is that stuff…” you gestured vaguely at your hoody and his hands, both of which were stained red. “Ketchup?”
“Uh… maybe?” Han looked quizzically down at himself, sniffing the hoodie slightly.
“What do you mean maybe, it either is or it isn’t,” you deadpanned. Panic now assuaged, you could feel your anger creeping back at the absurdity of the situation.
“I don’t know what ‘ketup’ is, but I found this thing in your box. In there,” he gestured toward the kitchen, and you took a deep breath in, trying now to explode on the spot.
“Are you still on about that stupid alien thing? Drop the act, a joke isn’t funny twice.”
“So I was right.”
“What?” Han was now leaning closer to you, peering curiously into your eyes. Suddenly you found it hard to look at him.
“You don’t believe me.”
“Y-yeah, no surprise, Sherlock. You’re obviously just- just trying to… what are you doing?” You couldn’t help the tremble at your voice when he kept stepping closer towards you, causing you to back up.
“I knew humans were dumb, but this is really something else,” he chuckled, smirking at your sudden discomfort and advancing further. You felt your back hit the wall and you froze.
“What would it take,” Han started, leaning even closer to your face. “For you to believe me?”
You didn’t reply. What would it take? You didn’t know, you couldn’t… your thoughts drifted off as a warm, tickling sensation quickly overcame your power of thought. You closed your eyes, placing a finger under your nose, but it was too late.
You opened your mouth and sneezed.
Directly onto Han’s face.
“HEY-” Han jumped backwards, furiously wiping his face on his sleeve. “Did you- is this some kind of- human defense mechanism???”
You stared at him blankly, then, despite yourself, began to laugh. He shot you a confused look before running to the kitchen and turning on the faucet to wipe his face off in the sink. You were doubled over at his strange whimpering sounds before you could even stumble to the kitchen.
“You’re so…” you started, giggling at how he was furiously rubbing his face with water. “I just sneezed!”
He glanced over at you, incredulous, and you couldn’t help laughing more.
You were too busy laughing, in fact, to see his expression soften as he looked at you, or the slight smile that unfolded on his face, or the slight blush that rose to his cheeks when he realized and looked away.
genre: crack, lil angst at the end
wc: 2.1k
warning: UNEDITED!!! also kinda suggestive? nonsexually tho. idk
a/n: happy birthday to the most talented person God ever placed on this earth the ace of kpop the role model of millions the reason a generation believes life is worth living han jisung!!
also, tysm for 100 followers! enjoy this braindump lol
(pt 2 possibly tomorrow?)
"아무리 웃어봐도 I feel so lonely
(No matter how much I smile, I feel so lonely)
지구인과 섞이려고 드는 외계인
Like aliens trying to blend in with Earthlings)"
It was Tuesday, and the stars were wrong.
Now, you knew you were only a college junior. You couldn't do your taxes without calling your mom, you consistently misspelled 'different,' and spiders made you cry. But you'd been staring at the sky since the day you could hold your head up to look at it, and today, this very Tuesday, something was very wrong.
You glanced down at your phone, and then back at your telescope. You glanced down again, and then up again. This continued for several more times, until at last, you sat back in your lawn chair, deep in thought.
"No," you said slowly, nodding your head in agreement with your own conclusion. "This- this is not it."
It was not “it.” There were one too many stars, in fact. The strange ‘star’ had caught your attention over dinner, and it was now 7:00 in the evening. Meanwhile, it had now at least tripled in size. “Some kind of meteor? There wasn’t any warning. A bomb? No… we’d be evacuating by now…” your verbal processing drifted off as your tired student brain began to connect the dots. “Something artificial must be falling through the atmosphere.”
A few minutes passed. The object of curiosity was now uncomfortably big, and appeared to be slightly to the west of right above you.
A few more minutes passed, and you realized you could be in danger. Quickly packing up your telescope and grabbing your phone, you run back into the house and place your valuables in the underground garage. Surely that would be safe, right?
You clamber in, ignoring your itching curiosity and pounding heart, and you wait.
Almost as soon as you lock the door, a wave of force and sound throws you onto your stomach, hands covering your eyes.
For a few seconds after the BOOM, you lie there, regaining your lost breath and trying to shake the ringing sound out of your head. There’s static in your ears when you uncover them, and an aching pain in your head.
You stand up, shakily. Seeing no visible damage to the garage, and also not having been damaged severely, you cautiously unlock and open the door. You make your way through the living room.
If you were more intelligent, you probably would not be walking directly towards an unidentified flying object that just crashed into your literal backyard, but hey. Yolo, or whatever.
When you made it outside, you were greeted with a completely rearranged landscaping, your backyard now featuring a pit the size of a pool, perhaps twelve or fifteen feet in diameter, stretching from your fence to the edge of your house.
In the center of said pit was a rock. A large one.
How did that not literally break my whole backyard? The pit now seemed suspiciously small compared to the massive, oval-shaped rock that was in the dead center. If the rock had landed even a foot closer, your house probably would not be undamaged.
You stepped closer to the rock and stared. It was a smooth, ovalish rock of an oddly aesthetic white marble color. In fact, the more you looked at it, the less it seemed like a rock. It looked more like a human-size, elongated egg, but made out of stone.
You took another step forward, trying to take a closer look, but the rock cracks, and then exploded.
At least, you thought it had exploded. But you felt no shrapnel, only a sudden gush of warm, tingly air.
You looked down again, arms still raised in a futile attempt to protect your head, and you see that the rock was split in half.
You kept looking, as your brain slowly processed what it was seeing.
There was a being.
Inside the rock.
The thing—it seemed like a human person, but you weren’t sure in the uncertain light of a faraway-moon—was crouched over. Your two remaining brain cells did rock-paper-scissors in your head during a moment of painful silence, before you muttered, cautiously,
“Hello?”
The thing in the thing looked up. Its eyes- his, since it seemed to be a man, were dark, dazed, but shining strangely in the darkness of the moonless eve. His skin was pale, glowing in a literal sense. He seemed to be surrounded by a barely-visible aura of shining light.
“Wow… dude is beautiful,” you mutter under your breath.
“Thanks.”
You nearly peed your pants when you heard the man speak, jumping back what must have been an olympic record and shouting, “What in the- DUDE, are you okay?” His words seemed to have broken the spell of entrancement over you, and you stepped forward with concern, putting your admiration and puzzlement aside to address the fact that this man just came out of a flying rock-egg and bizarrely, appeared to be unharmed.
“Yeah, I think so. Bit of a rough landing,” he muttered, standing up in the rock and rubbing his head, wincing. He grabbed the sides of the pit and began trying to clamber out. You offered him a hand, and he took it.
After some struggle, you managed to lift him out and the two of you stood, panting.
“Sorry about your lawn, by the way,” he added, after recovering his breath, glancing at the lack of backyard.
“Whatever. Just weeds back here anyway,” you replied, still unable to believe this wasn’t some weird fever dream.
There was silence, neither of you sure what to say.
“So like, how are you alive?” You break the silence, unable to stand there awkwardly anymore. “And why on God’s green earth were you falling from an egg. from the sky.” You stared him down, and he gave you a look, seeming to assess you in some way. There was silence, before something in his eyes made you think you passed. He shrugged.
“I’m an alien.”
You chuckled, amazed that this man can somehow bring humor into this absurd, frankly traumatic situation. The man did not chuckle with you. You glanced over at his serious expression and felt your laughter catch in your throat.
“You’re-” you started, suddenly unsure. “You’re joking, right?”
“Nope.”
You stared at him, incredulous. He offered no further explanation, but seemed to be waiting for you to say something. “Let’s-” you rubbed your head, taking a deep breath in. “Let’s take this into the house. I need to sit down for this one.”
“Aren’t you-” he glanced at you “-worried about letting a random guy that fell from the sky in your house or something?”
You paused, considering. “You know, if you were going to kill me, you would have already.”
“True.”
You gestured for him to follow you as you led the way to the kitchen.
He sat down at the table as you put some water on for tea. You offered him some, and he tilted his head quizzically. Dang, he was really taking this alien thing seriously. You made him some anyway, and sat down in silence.
You gestured at him. “Explain, uhh...” You gestured limply at him, and he brightened up.
“My earthname is Han,” he said, smiling.
“Okay, Han. Explain.”
And so he began. He told you he was a martian. He said that all aliens know about humans and are very interested in human culture and society, but hide their existence from humans because they’re dangerous.
Here he paused, looking at you with worry, but you laughed.
“Facts.”
Your reply startled Han and caused him to glance at you, eyebrows raised in surprise. “You’re not… offended?”
“Why would I be? You’re right. Frankly, if I could move to mars and literally never see another human again, I would.”
Han’s eyes sparkled at that.
“So,” you summarized, “aliens exist, and they think humans are interesting. That still doesn’t explain how you’re here.”
“Oh! That.” Han’s smile turned maniacal, and you leaned in, invested. “I commandeered one of my society’s emergency pods—they’re reserved for evacuations in the case of a disaster—and I got one of my friends from down here to send me his coordinates. Only, I’m not used to driving one of those things, so I kinda…” He drifted off bashfully, and you sat back.
“Interesting. Won’t people notice? Do aliens have family?”
“Uh, they do, but I don’t really know mine.”
“Oh. I’m sorry about that.”
He looked at you strangely. “Why? You didn’t have anything to do with it.”
“I just mean, like, it sucks. And I feel bad for you.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
The two of you sat in silence as you tried to process the information he just dumped on you.
“So, like, the reason you landed in my backyard in an egg was because you’re a alien who secretly escaped mars so you could meet up with your alien friend on earth, but you’re bad at directions and you missed and had to make an abrupt landing… on my lawn…?”
“Yup. That about sums it up.” Han seemed to be oblivious to how absurd his story was, and you couldn’t help but laugh.
He glanced over at you, surprised.
“Fine.” You stood up, grabbing Han’s untouched cup of tea and walking toward the sink. “You’re either high or you’re flat out stupid. But it’s late, and I’m too tired to deal with this. You’re leaving now.”
“What?” Han follows you to the kitchen, where you set the cups on the counter and mentally decide that dishes can wait. “Wait- please, I’m not lying- I really am a-”
“An alien? You really expect me to believe that? Really?” Han was silent, mouth hanging open at your words. He clearly had not planned for this possible reaction. “Look Han, if that really is your name. You don’t seem like a bad dude, which is why I’m not going to call the police on you. You can leave quietly, and I won’t make a fuss. I’ll even give you some water or something! Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
You turned back toward the sink, starting to wash the dishes.
“What about the pod?”
You froze, but Han continued. “If you really think I’m just a human, how do you explain the fact that I fell from the sky into your backyard in a spaceship? Any human would have died in that crash. You saw what it did to your yard!”
You turned around to face him. “Fine. I’ll admit it. I don’t understand what happened tonight. But that doesn’t mean I’ll accept any explanation for it. I’ll get to the bottom of it myself. Okay?”
He nodded, still visibly frustrated, and you sighed. You hated playing the bad guy. “Eight hours. You can stay here for eight hours, and after that you leave. The garage. Now.” A sudden smile spread on Han’s face. Ignoring how good it looks on him, you continue. “There are blankets and water bottles in there. Don’t touch anything you don’t need to survive. And I’m locking the door behind you.”
“Thank you!” Han, in one swift motion, pulled you toward him and placed his lips on your forehead.
Your breath caught in your throat as your whole body froze. His lips were soft, pillowy, and warm against your perpetually-cold skin. The mere warmth of it seemed to spread through your whole body, and you shivered involuntarily. Your whole body relaxed, going numb but for the buzzing warmth that overrode your brain with sensations. You felt yourself falling backwards, but it seemed a mile away.
“Holy- are you okay?” The words came from a distance, but you could tell they were his. Vaguely, you became aware of Han’s face, close to yours, wide eyes worried, and his arms, supporting your limp back.
“What-” you murmured, forcing your limbs to obey you as you straightened up and backed away from him, leaning against the counter. “Literally w-what did you d-do” your jaw was chattering, your vision swimming, and you suddenly felt cold apart from his lips. You voice shook almost as hard as your legs, but you stepped backward nonetheless.
“I am so sorry,” Han said, stepping backward and raising his hands in a gesture of safety. “I- we say thank you. Like that. I had no idea…” He glanced down at your legs, still visibly trembling.
“Whatever,” you muttered. “Just get into the garage. And don’t ever- and I mean ever” you stuck your finger out at him, “do… that…again. Understand?”
“I understand,” Han nodded and walked out of the kitchen, head lowered and hands still raised so you could see him.
You heard the sound of his footsteps on your floor, and shakily stood up from where you had been leaning on the counter. You could feel the strength slowly surging back into your legs, but man, had that kiss messed you up.It was ridiculous. But as much as you hated to believe the man, how else were you going to explain the spaceship sitting in a twelve foot hole in your backyard? Or the man in your garage who glowed? Or the way that kiss had consumed you like nothing you’d ever felt before?
It wasn’t as if it was somehow unexpected. You knew. You knew as soon as you felt the staff’s hand tapping your shoulder. You knew it would be him, and yet you found yourself in shock, watching as Chan stepped through the doorway and turned, closing it behind him with a soft click!
Three years had not been lost on Chan. He was taller, slightly, or maybe he just stood with more confidence, more poise. His shoulders were broad and his arms toned. You knew he’d been working out lately, but it was very noticeable in person. Even in silence, his presence seemed to fill the room.
Chan slowly turned back to face you. There was an awkward moment as the two of you stood there, but Chan broke it by gesturing to the couch next to you.
“You know you can sit down, right?”
“Ah, yeah. Thank you,” you murmured in reply, carefully perching yourself on the edge of the couch. Chan sat down as well, but left some space between the two of you.
“Sorry about all the mess. The kids are always like this. You should see the dorms!” He chuckled, and you gave a smile in return, not really sure what to say.
Chan seemed to notice your discomfort, and his tone became softer. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Almost three years, yeah? You look just as beautiful as ever.”
You lowered your head, heart pounding and head swimming. You didn’t know what Chan was trying to do to you, but it seemed to be working.
“You look…” you started, trying to say something substantive, but unable to bring yourself to finish the sentence. Chan chuckled quietly.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
You laughed with him, grateful he wasn’t forcing you to say more than you could. Already the atmosphere seemed lighter, and the sound of Chan's laughter dispelled the greater part of your nerves. Still, you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze.
He asked you how you had been, and you told him. You talked about your job, your postdoc studies, etc. He was attentive, asking about details, laughing when you made a joke, never glancing away from you. As for you, you glanced at him when he was laughing or speaking, but for the most part, stared down at your hands, folded in your lap. After a few minutes passed like this, you had said all there was to say about your life, and the silence returned.
“So,” Chan stated, tone more serious, and out of instinct, you turned to glance at his expression. This time, it was he who was looking down. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
You blinked. With absolutely no context to this question and no clue as to the motivations behind it, you merely looked quizzically at Chan. Your gaze followed his outstretched hand, pointing to a smooth silver ring on your fourth finger. Oh. You couldn’t help but snort as you realized what he was referring to.
“This?!” You asked, laughing. “It’s a friendship band! It represents a promise I made with someone I met during my doctorate studies in the U.K. We promised we’d meet up with each other again someday.”
Chan’s countenance visibly relaxed, and he looked at you, eyes shining. “C-can I ask you something?” He asked, and you nodded in agreement, resisting the urge to reply 'you just did.' Chan took a deep breath. “That day… at the coffee shop.”
You felt your body tense up. Finally, he was getting to the point. You had no idea what his intentions were (was he mad? was he indifferent? did he want some kind of closure from you?) but you couldn’t help but feel run your hands gently down your legs, fidgeting as the elephant in the room was finally addressed.
“I don’t know if you remember what you said to me-” he said.
“Of course!” You interrupted. Then, covering your mouth, you apologized and gestured for him to continue.
Chan continued, hesitatingly. “I just… I want you to know that I’ve changed. I took what you said to heart, and I… I think I’ve learned to take time. For myself.”
You couldn’t help but let a smile bloom on your face as you heard Chan’s words. Chan was almost perfect in every way, and yet when you knew him, he was racked by self-doubt. He had always thought he wasn’t enough, and while it was what drove him to always do better, it also isolated him from those around him and blinded his view of his own progress. To hear that Chan was finally learning to overcome that… it was refreshing to say the least.
Chan glanced over at you, noticing your smile, and continued more strongly. “I’ve changed a lot because of what you said to me, and… I want to thank you. But-” his smile wilted slightly, and he took a long look at you. “There are some things that haven’t changed. No matter how hard I try.”
You listened attentively, and met his eyes when he paused, looking at you.
“I still think of you. I still- I still feel so good when I see you smile. I still wonder what you’re doing or who you’re hanging out with. I still… I have feelings for you.”
Your eyes widened as you tried to process what Chan was saying. The past three years had been hard, so hard for you. Perhaps... it was just as hard for Chan? You knew that you had been immature, that you had left Chan too soon, that you’d failed to communicate your needs well. But you also knew that things happened for a reason. And you figured, simply, that someone else was meant for Chan. Someone who wasn’t you.
But honestly, Chan’s words were true for you as well. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d thought of Chan, wondered how he was doing or whether he was taking time for himself, whether he was sick or depressed or starved, whether he was still so hard on himself. In recent years, your thoughts of him had grown fewer and less painful, but seeing him here again tonight had brought it all back, worse than before. You realized it now with tears welling in your eyes.
“Me too.” The words were almost immediately joined by tears filling your eyes and spilling over as large teardrops, rolling down your cheeks. Chan placed his hand on your shoulder and stoked it with his warm, calloused thumb, comforting you. You gently pulled his hand off you. He looked at you, surprised, but you couldn't bare to face him.
When you gathered the strength to look at him again, the sight broke him. Uncertainty and exhaustion flushed your face with red, worry and regret still rolling down your cheeks in waves. You could only whisper, overcome with emotion,
“Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what, Y/nnie?” Your heart throbbed when you heard the old nick name he used to call you roll off his lips so casually. As if nothing had changed.
“Doing that! Making me feel this way after it took me so long to get over you!” Your voice was choked and angry now, and Chan’s face was an unreadable mix of emotions. “I’m not enough for you, Chan, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Our relationship was a mistake-” your voice faded to a crackly whisper- “and it’s best left in the past.”
Your words seemed to have sunk deep into Chan, and for a moment, there was silence.
“No.”
Chan grabbed your hand and stared unfalteringly into your eyes. “The only mistake was timing. I was too young, too focused on success. I didn’t realize how much I was really losing.” His voice broke. “Please, Y/n. I know I was stupid. So, so, stupid for letting you go. But I’ve changed. And I promise you that I’ll always be there for you when you need me, hm?”
This time, you didn’t pull your hand back, but your eyes still revealed your hesitancy. “You give me energy,” Chan said. “You help me relax after a hard day. You’re my motivation and the love of my life. I'll always have time for you. Please, Y/n. I- I can’t do this without you. I love you.”
There they were. The words you had waited years to hear. The words you hated yourself for wanting to hear from him. Those words were all it took to crumple you like a soda can.
Chan scooted over and wrapped you in a huge hug, your body shaking from carrying the weight of emotion you’d finally released. After a few minutes like that, you finally managed to choke out, “Really? I’m not dreaming, right?”
genre: angst, fluff, just kinda... plot?
wc: 2.2k (Part 2/3)
a/n: pls do not follow randos in t-shirts after a concert who say they'll take you backstage to meet a member! lol
final part next week~
taglist: (reply to be added) @chaarcharr
"그늘에 빛이었던 너 (you were the light in the shade)"
[THREE YEARS LATER…]
“Aaaaaaand- done!” You smiled to yourself, giving your bright red lips a pop as you looked in the mirror, examining your makeup for any flaws. None. “Guess I’m concert-ready!”
“Dang right, you are!”
You whirled around, smiling as your best friend enveloped you in a hug. After chatting for a bit and hyping each other up, the two of you went down the stairs of your apartment, climbed into the car, and started driving, music already blasting from the speakers and windows rolled all the way down. You were about a forty-five minute drive from the venue, lucky to be living so close to downtown Sydney.
It wasn't lost on you that it had been three years since you'd last seen Chan. More for the other members. In fact, it was that very thing that you'd reminded yourself of when your friend had first offered to buy you concert tickets for your birthday a few months ago.
“Weird how we literally grew up so close to Chan,” your friend commented at some point in the drive, shouting over ‘Domino’ to be heard.
“Yeah,” you shouted back, but it was a rhetorical question anyway. You massaged the back of your neck, trying to ignore the anxiety rising like bile in the back of your throat.
Not more than thirty seconds passed, when your friend asked another question. This time, it was not rhetorical.
“Didn’t you run into him on your trip to Korea back a few years ago?” You coughed slightly, hiding your startled grunt as best you could.
“Yeah, yeah I did.” Your friend lowered the volume and glanced at you, curious. “It was really brief, and he didn’t remember me.”
“Remember you?”
Your friend was now full-on looking at you, ignoring the traffic, mouth hanging open.
“F/n! Eyes on the road, huh?” You gestured quickly toward the street and your friend grunted a reluctant ‘mhm.’ You closed your eyes, rubbing them and letting out a deep breath through your nose. “We… we went to middle school together.”
“YOU WHAT?!”
The car swerved, and, cursing loudly, your friend struggled to regain control of the wheel. You let out an exasperated sigh. “That’s it- I’m not telling you anything else until we’re safely parked!”
“Fine!”
The rest of the drive was uneventful (mostly spent vibing to your playlist), and upon parking, you managed to deflect your friend’s questions until you two were making your way to your seats. They peppered you with questions (how long had you known Chan, what had he been like, had he had a crush, did you have a crush on him, was he good at math, etc.). You evaded their questions by explaining that you had been in different classes and you hadn’t known him that well personally, only seen him around.
You stopped them suddenly. “F/n, aren’t we too far in front?”
They snickered at your face of confusion, continuing to walk and leaving you to tag behind them. “For a STRAY KIDS concert? The first one in Australia in years??? You already know I had to go all out.”
Dread growing with each step, you continued walking closer and closer to the stage. Finally, your friend stopped and sat down, beckoning you to sit on their right them with their hand.
“F/n… you got us front seats…”
“Ha! I wish. We’re a couple rows from the front, see?”
You did see, but it made little difference. The drive here had in fact been spent largely in your head, battling between two opposite but equal desires: that Chan would see you, make some sign of recognition, something, or that (hoping against hope) he would have gotten over you by now, maybe even forgotten you.
He probably doesn’t even remember me. Think of all the women that would kill to be with him … Thoughts of those kind had made the drive both miserable and more bearable, in strange ways.
But your anxiety returned now, with full roaring force. Any hope of hiding in the midst of the crowd or, heck, even scoring the nosebleeds, was crushed. Utterly. Your only choice now was to pray Chan wouldn’t recognize you.
“Do you… not like them?”
You looked down, realizing your face was far from expressing gratitude, and you rushed to sit down. “No, no! I love them! I was just- how much did these cost you?”
Your friend laughed, relieved that your worries were merely financial. “A kidney." They shrugged. "I only need one, anyway.”
“F/n!!” Your shout of worry was dismissed as your friend cut you off, resuming the interrogation. But eventually, they gave up trying to pry something substantive out of you and huffed loudly. By that point, the ads had begun to play, and it was too loud to have a real conversation anyway.
After a handful of minutes, the lights suddenly went dim. A massive wave of sound nearly bowled you over as the crowd roared for all it was worth. Slowly, on the darkened stage, you could see eight figures rising up out of the mist.
In a moment, your worries were drowned in the hype, and you felt yourself screaming and chanting as their title track came on. The music was loud- so loud. But it didn’t bother you. In a surprising and uncharacteristic display of foresight, you’d brought earplugs, knowing your sensitive ears would fare better that way. Even still, you could feel the bass like it was your own heart beat, and you felt surrounded on all sides by tangible, vibrating screams.
They must have performed three or four songs in a row with only outfit changes to interrupt the performances, when they reemerged on stage. They did their greeting and then Chan started to speak.
Up till now, you had avoided looking at him, choosing instead to glance at the other members. This was in contrast to your friend, who, ironically, biased Chan, and had been screaming his name like it was their last word.
The moment Chan took a breath to collect his thoughts, your friend took their opportunity.
“CHAN!! YOU’RE SO HOT!!!”
The sound of their words echoed around the stadium due to your friend's insanely loud voice, and immediately, all eyes were on you, laughter eclipsing the silence. Chan chuckled shyly. The other members were in various states of hysteria at the words. Stays nearby were howling with laughter.
But you didn’t notice any of that.
You, in that moment, were occupied. By his eyes.
"Nope-” you muttered under your breath, tearing your eyes from Chan’s and reflexively raising your phone to ‘record,’ so your face was hidden.
The moment passed, and Chan continued with his introduction speech, and the other members followed in suit. More performances passed in a blur of screams and flashing lights. Song after song played, and you knew them all. Of course you did. Chan, not to mention the rest of 3RACHA, was the greatest lyricist you knew, and your appreciation for his genius was much more than personal.
Too soon, it was time for the members to say goodbye. Each of them, in turn, recited their lines. Finally, it was Chan’s turn.
Before he could even start, the crowd began to chant in unison.
“Best leader! Best leader! Best Leader!”
Chan smiled and laughed. Two bullets through your heart. He thanked the staff, the production, and Stay. He smiled, he laughed, and he spoke with honesty and gratitude. Looking back on the evening, you couldn’t remember exactly what he said. In its place, the image of him smiling like he could heal the world was burned in your mind.
Two closing songs played. First 'Star Lost,' then 'Haven'. They took their bow, and, one by one, disappeared down a hole in the back of the stage, Chan leaving last. And just like that, the concert was over. You felt a strange wave of emotion, one thought fixed in the center of your mind:
Chan noticed me.
“OH MY GOSH CHAN NOTICED ME!” Your life flashed before your eyes as you felt your friend tackle you, physically folding over.
“Yeah maybe cause you screamed his name?” You laughed, but your words seemed to merely bounce off your friend's bubble of euphoria, fading into the air unheard and unacknowledged.
You were eager to leave, not exactly sure why. But it took a good few minutes for your friend to calm down and stop talking long enough to take a real breath. Even after that, they wanted to take photos of the two of you, and, reluctantly, you agreed. You started to grab your stuff, but they stopped you.
“Just a few more? For my instagram?? Please???” They looked at you with puppy eyes, and with a heavy sigh, you agreed.
‘A few more’ was an understatement. It took another seven minutes for her to finally be satisfied with the angle, lighting, etc. You knew because you were counting. Finally, long after everyone else had left the stadium, you started to walk out. You let your friend go in front, since you didn’t really remember where they had parked the car or which side to go out of. Your mind was too focused on processing all that had happened to be able to accurately find your way back to the car in the dark.
You’d only made it a few feet, however, when you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You turned, seeing a woman standing in front of you. She was wearing a mask, and a simple shirt that said ‘STAFF’ on it.
“Excuse me. Are you F/n L/n?”
“Yes,” you replied, completely confused as to what was going on.
“Would you mind coming backstage with me? A member asked for you.”
Your mouth hung open, and you glanced over at your friend, who by now had realized you weren’t following and was walking back, eyes alight with curiosity. “Um.”
Was this even legit? How could you be sure she wasn't just a local in a 'STAFF' shirt?
You weighed the options in your mind, but quickly threw your caution at the door. You knew. You knew Chan would pull something like this. Or at least, you thought so.
You turned back to the staff member, and stuttered. “S-sure.” You then turned to your friend and explained, “I have something to do. Mind waiting for me in the car? It might be a while.” You glanced apologetically at them, but they simply shrugged, to busy fangirling over what had happened to care about you staying back a bit.
“Sure. I’ll be in line for merch. If you’re not back by then, I’ll be in the car. K?”
“Mhm!” You replied, giving an encouraging smile, and they turned and walked off. You turned back to face the staff, and she gestured that you follow her as she walked backstage.
She led you through a door into a bustling room full of various staff members and equipment. You awkwardly nodded whenever someone looked at you, but it was clear you were following the person in front of you, and, thankfully, no one stopped you.
She led you through several large rooms and a hallway into a small room simply labeled ‘Lounge.’
She held the door open for you and gestured that you walk through. Hesitatingly, you did. She closed the door behind you.
The room was empty of people, but snacks, cords, towels, shoes, and various kinds of clutter were covering most available surfaces. Unsure exactly what to do, you walked forward a few steps, glancing in interest around you.
Was this… the artist lounge? The thought seemed surreal, but it made more sense than anything else. You glanced around the room, curious, but you didn’t touch anything. Afterall, this wasn’t your space, and despite literally being brought into Stray Kids’ private lounge, you wanted to respect their privacy as much as possible.
And so you stood awkwardly by a table on the side of the room, leaning against the wall and clutching your hands together, fidgeting.
Minutes passed. You could hear the distant voices of staff in the other room, but no one seemed to be coming.
More minutes passed, and you debated whether you should try and get someone’s attention. But the fear of being accused of breaking in kept you in your place, vainly chewing on your lip and playing with your fingers to distract yourself. A few more moments passed, and you stood up straight, catching sight of a face in the window of the door.
But it wasn’t Chan’s. Or a staff’s, for that matter. It was Felix’s face, curious and cat-like. You met his eyes and couldn’t help but giggle at the sight. His face broke into a wide smile, eyes crinkling and bright teeth showing. But then his head ducked out of sight, and you heard muffled voices behind the door.
After a moment, you saw through the window that someone was standing outside the door. A hot breath passed through your slightly-parted lips in anticipation. The door began to creak open. He stepped through.
genre: angst, fluff, general big sad T-T
wc: 1.988k (part 1/3)
a/n: it's been a bit since i've posted!! two things:
1) i've decided to post mainly skz content. i will still occasionally write for other groups, but i'm not going to pressure myself if im not inspired :)
2) i will be posting once a week on saturdays from now on. i took an (unintentional) break for the summer but now im back bb! get ready to be sick of me !!
as always, tysm for reading n enjoy! (part two next week~)
"꽃잎이 떨어지는 날 (the day the petals fall)"
A deep sigh. The car door closed next to you, and you relaxed your neck, letting your head fall back onto the headrest, the warmth of the car flooding over you and calming your tense body. You sat like that for a bit, taking deep breaths and thinking few thoughts. The ones you did think, however, seemed to flush you with icy cold, and you shivered despite the heat inside the car.
Things... couldn't keep going like this. You knew it, you tried to ignore it, but in the end, it was all you could think about. You knew what you needed to do, you just didn't know if you had the strength to do it.
You took one last deep breath in, opened your eyes, put on your seatbelt, and began to drive out of the parking lot of the mall in which you'd spent the last four hours. It had been a nice morning, in one sense. You'd spent hours shopping (only ending up with two small bags to show for it) and then had eaten at a nice restaurant, wearing the gorgeous red dress you'd just splurged on. A date with yourself.
Chan had texted you, of course. You smiled sadly, thinking of the paragraph you'd woken up to. He was sweet like that. Always remembering what was going on with you, remembering to text you or, when he had time, to call you and ask how you were doing.
But that's all it had been. A text. You sighed heavily, banging your head lightly into the steering wheel as you sat at the intersection near your house. You knew you were being selfish, but you couldn't bring yourself to ignore it any more. You were lonely. Still.
A few minutes passed as you found yourself reliving your memories with Chan. Ever since you'd met him, even back when you were kids, he'd always been the same. So sweet, so chivalrous, so perfect. And so busy.
You'd always supported his dream. Now, after it blossomed into a career, you'd met him again and were in a long-distance relationship. You had your own dreams, after all, and none of them lead you outside of Australia.
This week was the week you'd finally been able to see him. A week away in South Korea, to visit your boyfriend. The mere thought of it had gotten through your hellish spring semester, and you'd hardly been able to wait.
"And all that for nothing," you whispered, pulling into your driveway and parking. You sat there, too occupied with your thoughts to even notice that the heat had begun to stain your new dress with sweat. You pulled out your phone from your purse, pulling up Chan's number and beginning to type a message:
Hey Chan. I know your really busy right now, but I have something I need to talk to you about. Can we meet up?
You glanced at it again, confirming that it had been delivered, and put your phone away, grabbing your purse and peeling yourself off the sweaty leather front seat. The only thought in your mind now was the cold shower that was waiting for you.
~
The Han river was far more beautiful in person than they gave it credit for. Sunlight glittered on its face like a thousand diamonds, crusting each sapphire wave and ripple. It wound endlessly, ran endlessly, constantly pushing and pulling within the currents of its own expanse, and yet it remained in place. There it was, a few yards in front of you, gnawing on the same shores it had for hundreds of years, flowing in place as the years passed.
“Guess who?”
Your thoughts were interrupted by the sudden warmth of Chan's hands covering your eyes.
“Hey Chan,” you said, and smiled softly. Your voice was subdued.
Chan noticed. He spun you around, grabbing you gently by your shoulders and pulling your smaller form into his chest, enveloping you with a hug. Your head nuzzled against him, you could hear the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. He gently swayed from side to side, shifting on his hips and rocking you gently, chin resting on the top of your head.
Good grief…, you thought to yourself as you felt tears threaten to build in your eyes. You gently pushed Chan away, taking a deep breath and calming yourself before you could look at him.
“Y/n,” Chan said, grabbing your hand. No matter how hard you tried, he could always tell when something was off. He knew it now as well, tilting his face down to meet your eyes. “It’s okay. I’m here now.”
You said nothing in reply, lowering your head and biting your lip. Why did you feel like the bad guy all of a sudden? “Chan, I-”
“I got you something!”
You both looked at each other. “You go ahead-” you stuttered, and he smiled. He guided you to sit down on a nearby park bench. He sat down next to you, pulling out a small package from his bag.
“Here,” he said, and gently placed it in your hands, curling your fingers around it. It was about the size of your palm, a black, velvety box. He watched as you opened it, your wide eyes made even rounder by curiosity, and then by surprise.
“Chan, its-” you drifted off, robbed of your words. Chan took your silence as an opportunity and leaned toward you.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispered in your ear, brushing his hand up your neck and tangling it in your hair.
I know. You felt a choked sob escape your lips, and –for goodness' sake– you could feel hot tears running down your face in waves.
“Y/n-” Chan started, and began to pull you into a hug, but you put your hands out and stopped him.
“Please, Chan,” you muttered, voice thick with emotion. “Please- don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
Those words were all it took. Chan’s posture didn’t change–he was frozen in place–but he felt as if a bucket of ice-water had been dumped on his inner organs, freezing him from the inside out. The world, which had only seconds ago seemed brimful and overflowing with color, now seemed monochrome, faded into a cold and unwelcoming background.
You took a deep breath, and gently pulling his hand away from your neck, placing it on your knee, trying to gather your thoughts.
“Chan.” You started, but even saying his name brought too much back, and a fresh wave of emotion caused your breath to hitch. You closed your eyes and breathed deeply. “It’s- it's so typical of you. To be this thoughtful.” You gestured listlessly at the open box still in your hand, displaying the stunning diamond necklace that lay on creamy silk. “You always buy me such nice things. You send me flowers. I wake up every morning to the sweetest texts." Your voice quavered. "And I hate you for it.”
There was silence. Chan didn’t say anything, trying to process your rambling words. You took a deep breath, and looked him in the eye.
“I don’t want these things, Chan. I never did. What I wanted was you.” You whispered the last word, as if the very shape of it on your lips would shatter you.
This was not how Chan had planned the day to go. Your first day together in months- heck, maybe even a year. It was supposed to be happy, to be perfect. But who was he kidding to assume you weren’t frustrated? He would be too, if he was in your position.
“Y/n, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone for this long. Let me make it up to you.” He squeezed your knee from where his hand was resting on it. He examined your face, hating the way your bottom lip trembled and eyes filled again with fresh tears. “I know I haven’t been doing enough. I’ve been a horrible boyfriend, ignoring you all this ti-”
“Chan. Stop.” You wiped a few of your tears in vain and sniffed. “You always say that about yourself. You always think you’re not enough. You even convinced me that, too!” You scoffed, but it was a humorless noise. “I’ve been thinking about this, and I’ve realized. It’s not you. It’s me. I never should have expected so much from you-to somehow make time in your schedule for me when you don’t even make time for yourself. I’m sorry, Chan, for being so greedy…”
”Y/n-” Chan started, but you wouldn’t let him, already knowing what he was going to say.
“No, Chan, let me speak. I know I’m greedy, and I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. I’m too needy. And try as hard as I can, I can't need you less than I do now." You gave Chan's hand a squeeze. "And you! Your career is taking off, you’re in your prime, and you deserve to be able to pursue your dreams without feeling guilty about not spending time with me. I’m holding you back, Chan. I’m sorry. I won’t hold you back anymore.”
For these last words, you looked deep into his eyes, and, with a sad smile, took his hand off your knee and opened it, placing the necklace back into it and closing his fingers around the box.
“Y/n, can we at least talk about this?” He asked, but you stood up, shaking your head.
“And what would that achieve, Chan? You’d just end up beating yourself up for not being 'good enough' when we both know things between us could never work out." You looked back at Chan, before stepping backwards, tears still streaming down your face. "I’m sorry, Chan, for loving you too much to hide my feelings, and for loving you too little to change. And thank you. For everything.”
With that, you turned and walked away, head bowed so no one could see the large, hot tears that were now rolling freely down your face.
Chan watched you as you left, longing to shout out something, to catch your hand, anything, but your words had left him speechless. He had no idea you felt this way. How long had he left you to be lonely? To worry? Were you right? Was he just too busy for things to work out between you? Or was there something else?
He realized in that moment that he had taken you for granted. You’d known each other since middle school in Sydney, and you’d been dating since the two of you had accidentally reconnected in South Korea back when he was a trainee. He’d always just assumed. You were the one, after all. You leaving was never an option in his mind.
But there he was, necklace box still in his hand, watching your retreating back as you walked away from him. Permanently.
In that moment, he thought about running after you, grabbing your hand, doing whatever it took to get you back. But he had no idea what to say. And, if there was one thing he knew about you from your years together, it was that once you had decided on something, no simple words or actions could change your mind.
And so he watched you walk off until the retreating figure of your back disappeared altogether from sight, questioning.
Why did he push away all the people he loved in his life?
~
The members could tell something was wrong. Even though Chan tried his best to hide it, eventually they knew. When they on schedule, Chan was working. Nothing unusual. Pouring over his laptop, muttering lyrics under his breath, humming half-finished melodies. But if he rarely slept before, he never slept now. He spoke less, smiled less, and his eyes seemed sunken, clouded by the strange veil of emotion left unexpressed.
When they asked him about it, he said what he always said.
