RMH
Sade Olutola
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Cosimo Galluzzi
macklin celebrini has autism
Color Me Curious
Game of Thrones Daily
Cosmic Funnies
Love Begins
NASA
Not today Justin
No title available
No title available
EXPECTATIONS
official daine visual archive
$LAYYYTER
sheepfilms
Discoholic 🪩
titsay
taylor price
seen from India
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Indonesia
seen from Italy
seen from Mexico
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from Switzerland
seen from Côte d’Ivoire
seen from Nepal
seen from Pakistan
seen from Georgia
seen from Argentina
seen from Andorra
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
@no--mourners--no--funerals
i dont care about validity i care about my civil rights
“can you be trans without dysphoria” “can you be an aromantic lesbian” “can bisexuals only date one gender” i literally do not care. in what states and countries are we protected from discrimination.
Phenomenal spare wheel cover I walked past the other day
Hope your weekend has been amazing and nice and all the good things! Re-reading fsfoeo as I wait for chapter 22 (which is coming soon, right? Right?😭😭) and I'm trying to determine when Hollander became Shane and Rozanov became Ilya, and I think there is a moment for each, but maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Can you confirm or deny if this was on purpose lol pls and thank you♥️
ahhhh yes i absolutely put thought into this and i love that u noticed it !!! they both go through the journey of exclusively referring to each other by last names in their internal monologue, then slipping in a single first name, switching between the two for a bit, and then settling into first names. i wanted this to happen before they ever say it aloud because i don't think you accidentally call someone by their first name aloud unless you've really come to view that as the default way of referring to them in your head and you just let your guard down for a second, right? i knew i wanted their first time saying the names aloud to be in this intimate climax of the story after ilya's dad's death, so i made sure to work up to it for a while
the way i looked at it was that for each of them, the switch to a first name inside their head would happen in a moment that represented uncharted intimacy to them
it happens for ilya first, and happens during sex. ilya's someone who has a lot of sex and has never found it very intimate before. he and shane have even been hooking up for a while without him noticing the change it's putting inside him. in chapter 12, he's beginning to have a tough time emotionally -- his dad's illness is beginning to show, alexei has been calling him a lot and therefore ilya can't escape the reminders of his oppressive childhood. the lack of care he has around him feels very stark, and the more he thinks about family/childhood, the more he's aware of that own contrast in a sort of pre-irinas-death vs post-irinas-death way. he has anonymous sex with women in this chapter and finds it oddly unsatisfying. after finding out definitively about his father's illness, he actively avoids shane and hooks up with someone else, and ends up sleeping alone, and is really isolated and sad. then he sleeps with shane again. this is contrastingly extremely intimate and ilya's getting an emotional connection from it that he can't name or admit to.
i wrote in the most recent chapter that ilya often uses sex to figure out things about himself -- that as a teenager he used it to figure out his sexuality, charisma, relationship to his body, friendship with svetlana, etc. here he does the same. he can't explain why sleeping with other people is not comforting him anymore and sleeping with shane is, but it happens subconsciously, and he slips into using shane's first name in his inner monologue during that moment of intimacy, because his body can tell what his brain hasn't caught up with yet -- that sex with shane is comforting, rather than just sexual, and he hasn't really experienced emotional comfort since his mother died
for shane, it's completely different. his first name moment comes when ilya visits the hollanders at their family cottage. the way i justified this was because: shane has a very divided relationship between sex and his personal life. he compartmentalises. he really convinces himself that sex with men (ilya) is something he biologically wants, but has nothing to do with his emotional life (he's lying sooo hard to himself)
the first time shane thinks of ilya by his first name is in this line, as ilya meets his parents at the cottage: For a moment, as they all stand there, Shane notices that he and Ilya are kind of mirroring his parents’ position – stood shoulder-to-shoulder, two sets of two.
he makes the switch to first names in the first moment that he compares himself and ilya to his parents. to shane, who grew up with this incredibly strong example of partnership in his parents, everything he can imagine about intimacy comes from them. it's emotional, loving, domestic, soft, sweet. they support each other. he would never have thought of himself and ilya in those terms, but in this moment, while they all stand under the same roof, something inside shane's mind can't imagine being as cold and distant with your partner as he is with ilya up until now. his parents would never call each other by last names. in a way, by allowing himself to become a little more emotionally open here, shane's mirroring his parents, taking cues from them as he so often does in his life, a luxury that ilya has never had
his parents even talk about referring to ilya by his first name, before he arrives. they're not including shane in that instruction, but he's there and notices it; it's the first time he's had this encouragement to think of ilya outside of a hockey and lockerroom context, really. the ilya who's staying at the cottage with them is notably different to team-ilya, in his parents' minds, and therefore they won't call him by his last name while he's here. for shane this kickstarts the idea of things being different at the cottage, and enables a lot of the new, brave intimacy he and ilya experience during the visit.
i would say that for shane the moment of increased intimacy all comes from feeling safe, with his parents at his family home away from their lives in hockey, and therefore free to think of their relationship in a more intimate context. while for ilya it comes from feeling out of control, and being desperate for comfort in a moment where shane is the only person he can seem to take it from, even if he doesn't yet understand why
i'm sorry i wrote an essay about my own fic lmao but i hope this is interesting to someone bc i deffo put thought into it while writing !!!!!!
The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater, Stephanie Williams & Sas Milledge
bby shane who joined his dad at his job for a day as little kids do
shane who sat under his dads desk and helped him out with ‘important documents’. his dad ‘needed all these papers folded in perfect halves’, and five year old shane was not gonna disappoint him. he was gonna win at folding papers in half.
(in reality these were just last years invoices that ought to be shredded but shane needn’t know that)
by lunch time he had folded nearly 100 important documents in half and susan the receptionist told him he’s the best paper folder she’s ever met! dad ruffled his hair with pride.
shanebug is buzzing. he cannot wait to tell mom when he gets home :)
HE LOOKS SO GOOD
they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions
Hayden always gets emotional when his kids' birthdays are coming up. So Shane isn't surprised when he opens his phone to 15 new pictures of Amber when she was a baby the week before her fifth birthday.
"Look how tiny she was!", Hayden texts, followed by another handful of pictures of teeny tiny Amber. And Shane loves his nices and nephew, has always cherished that he gets to be Uncle Shane to them and watch them grow up.
"Cute!", Shane texts back before he scrolls through the pictures one by one. It has been ages and at the same time five minutes since Amber, now gap-toothed and, last Shane saw her, wearing a mud soaked bumblebee dress as she was kneeling in the garden orchestrating a tea party for the frogs in the Pike's pond, was barely old enough to hold up her own head.
A new message from Hayden comes through, though this time it's a video. It's taken from outside Amber's nursery, the hallway dark. The soft light from her various nightlights offers just enough to show the outline of Shane, holding Amber in his arms and swaying slowly from side to side as he's singing softly in French.
"Teething gate!!", Hayden writes. "Saved my ass back then, only thing that got us through that evening. Still a legend for busting out the singing, bud."
And yeah, Shane remembers. He'd come over to help Hayden with the kids, giving Jackie a break now that her husband was back from his roadie, allowing her to get a full nights sleep again. He remembers the bone deep exhaustion when nothing they tried helped with soothing Amber. He remembers Hayden, close to tears, heading downstairs to get one of the teething rings they kept in the freezer in the hope that maybe this time it would help soothe her pain. And Shane had stood there, holding a softly hiccuping Amber in his arms, heart breaking for her and wanting nothing more than to take the pain away.
And suddenly he'd remembered his dad holding him in his arms when he couldn't sleep, mind too loud and running a mile a minute even as a kid, carrying him through their house and singing softly to him.
Shane didn't realize until now that Hayden had recorded him singing.
He's brought back to the present by Ilya nudging his thigh with his foot. "What are you watching?", Ilya asks, his own phone lowered to his chest.
Shane can already feel his cheeks heat up. It's not as if he makes a habit of singing and he's pretty sure he has never sung near Ilya, let alone told him about it.
"Nothing", Shane says quickly. He knows it's to no avail when Ilya raises his eyebrows at him.
"You have been starring at your phone for past ten minutes. Looks very interesting for video about nothing", Ilya says.
And so Shane ends up showing the video to Ilya. He has heard him anyway and there's this curious glint in his eyes that Shane knows well enough by now. He's not going to let it go so might as well go full in.
Ilya's eyes light up when he realises that it's Shane who's singing, in French no less. He insists on watching the video three more times and begs Shane to send it to him afterwards.
Of course, he also looks up the original song. "It's a good song, but you have much prettier voice than her", Ilya tells him after listening to the tong for the first time, leaning up to kiss his jaw. Shane pulls him close, hand automatically finding Ilya's curls as he makes himself comfortable on Shane's shoulder. He kisses Ilya's forehead, listening as the song starts anew.
They listen to it in silce for a while before Ilya asks, "Why this song?"
And, well.
"My parents played it once when I was over at their house for dinner", Shane starts. Well aware that Ilya will want to know more than that, Shane tries not to focus on how fast his heart is beating as he continues. "It's, uhm, a love song. It's an old song, the singer sings about how she misses her husband when he is out at sea, watching the storms that pass by. She always waits at the shore, watching as the boats come back in, looking for the boat where the sunshine illuminates her husband's blonde curls, bringing him and the sunshine back to her."
Shane resolutely stares at the point just above the TV as he mumbles the last part, cheeks aflame.
Ilya sits up from he was resting against Shane, softly taking his chin in his hands to turn Shane so he's facing Ilya.
Ilya waggles with his eyebrows. "I did not realize you were so in love with handsome blonde sailor, Hollander", he teases, laughing as Shane shoves him away with an eye-roll and a "Fuck off, asshole!"
They both know there's no heat behind either statement, not when Shane immediately pulls Ilya close to him again and Ilya lays his head back on his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss to Shane's throat as he does so.
Shane knows Ilya has long put one and one together, has figured out why Shane might have been drawn to a song about waiting for your loved one to return to you. Has figured out why Shane would sing a song about a man with blond curly hair. Knows they both remember when waiting meant months and sweing each other for a handful of hours, a couple of days if they were lucky. Feels it in the way Ilya presses against him, the way he himself holds Ilya close with no intent of letting him go soon.
Again, it's Ilya who breaks the silence. "Shane?", he asks, quiet and without a note of teasing in his voice. "Would you sing it to me? My song?"
And Shane has never been able to withold Ilya anything he asks for. Neither of them mention the fact that Ilya called it his song. After all, the song had been Ilya's long before Ilya had become Shane's.
And so Shane once again holds a person he loves close to him, closes his eyes and starts singing.
new top contender
Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.
I know it's pronounced ayol but you're not making me make a third guess about how you're supposed to spell that shit.
An isle is an island.
An aisle is a walkway between seats or shelves in a church, shop or on a mode of transport.
They're pronounced the same but spelt differently, meaning they're homophones.
my friends keep trying to look in the mirror but i dont have mirrors in my car so i fixed it
I think my 👀 brain is 👀 rotting 👀 in places 👀 I think my 👀 heart is ready to die 👀 I think my 👀 body is falling 👀 in pieces 👀 i thinj my blood is passing me by 👀
Im always scared to call someone my friend because what if they dont consider me a friend and hate me because of that
op disabled reblogs but I think the point still stands
you use ai baby pictures i use stupid gifs that don’t fit the situation we are not the same
jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself
Way down the line, when they're leading Ottawa to another Stanley Cup, Ilya gets slammed too too hard by some eager new player. He's knocked unconscious and Shane practically flies from the box to the ice, watching as the EMTs intervene and carry him out on a stretcher.
Yuna goes in the ambulance with Ilya — Shane can't get out of his skates fast enough to run over in time, so he drives a few minutes behind them — and she calls Shane to keep him updated. It's fine, it's all fine, Ilya is already semi conscious and talking to them both. Shane's mind goes to all of the worst places anyway.
They lose service when they get in the elevator, but Yuna still sends out a text message with the room number. Shane speeds faster and then bolts through the hospital.
When he finally sees Ilya, minutes later, already in a blue hospital gown and connected to an IV but conscious and beaming up at him, Shane breaks into tears.
"Don't cry, solnyshko," Ilya says. "Come here," he holds out the hand that's free from the needles and Shane takes it.
"I have something important to ask you," Ilya tells him. It suddenly feels so serious. Shane's heart drops.
"Will you come to my cottage this summer?" Ilya says in a sing-songy voice, using his best Canadian accent. "Don't go to Russia. Come to my house, we'll have so much fun..."
Shane laughs. "You remember that?"
"Every fucking word."
