The Lamentable Cheese Thrower

Formerly Blueyay. I'm old enough to drink everywhere and I can drive but not both at the same time. I graduated highschool in 2012. I collect hobbies, ceramic unicorns, skulls and puzzles. I like long walks in the woods at night. Do Not Interact if you are a sentient taxidermied animal head, trying to sell left socks and only left socks, Steve from Accounting, a sixteenth century Baron, a gender thief, that one guy who tripped in hot topic and spilled his monster energy drink everywhere, the abstract concept of Mercy, and Heterosexual Cisgender Fish (as if you actually exist).

[byjove]

I only identified as a lesbian for a very brief period but straight girls do this realllllly bizarre thing where they ask you if you have a crush on them or who you think the hottest girl in a certain group is and get offended if you say no or refuse to answer. It’s like walking on a tightrope over a lake of fire, there is no good answer to give. Inside, you know if you were to say “Yes, I think you’re very attractive, I’m into you.” they would definitely weaponize that against you or treat you like a perv but if you say “No, you’re not my type, I’m not interested in you.” they act soooooooo wounded. And I’m sure some straight girls who do this are not entirely straight and were interested in feeling me out but I do think there are a lot of straight girls who do this as some form of power play. Anyway, it was so weird. And they have the audacity to act like lesbians are sexually inappropriate bullies.

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[microsff]

Every morning, the queen asked her magic mirror to show her the most beautiful person in the world.

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The mirror would show her, and she'd be amazed.

[nullen-void]

The first time, she says "To me," and the mirror dutifully shows her her reflection. And she is pleased.

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.

It is a different person each time, and they are all beautiful.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[purlturtle]

[ansixilus]

You're right and you should say it.

[susshe]

[suzirya]

I got permission from this friend to post this because holy fuck I can't stop laughing

[hug-bees]

1001 Dalmations

[dragon-in-a-fez]

today's reason I fucking love the open source community: Ageless Linux, a brand new Debian-based operating system specifically designed to break the law by giving children access to computers that explicitly refuse to track their age.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

reblog this post to help a child break the law

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[kaleidoscope-vol2]

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

[catboybiologist]

Love conversations where every single participant has certified Issues

[virtualgirladvance]

One guys issue is not knowing vampires are real. I feel him

[raevenlywrites]

Love burying the lead "he's 33 I'm 22-" bitch he is 433 give or take

[scrabbleknight]

He doesn't know how to divide by 2.

[thedeadtravelfast]

@nightcrawler-fan @iceandbone

[nightcrawler-fan]

...why does this have better writing than most actual comedy series about fantasy characters?

[kittydesade]

.... is one of those guys Blade?

[your-dads-filing-cabinet]

[elierlick]

"Capitalism is temporary. Dykes are forever" graffitti spotted in NYC.

[geekysteven]

A common theme in science fiction is that if you're in space, don't trust a corporation. And Earth is in space

[squarebracket-trickster]

"Readers have SHORT attention spans! The average reader takes just TWO sentences to decide whether to put a book down! You have to HOOK them in the FIRST sentence! GRAB them by throat and don't let them BREATHE—"

... have... have we considered that perhaps the average reader just, like, knows what they like in a book? I mean... first sentences are famous for establishing things like *checks notes*... genre, tone, POV, pacing, character, voice, uhhh... writing style...

The average reader is putting your book down because they discovered it's in first person (or not in first person). The average reader put your book down because they wanted a cozy read, or they're sick of cozy reads, or romance, or grimdark, or assassin princesses, or vampires, or or or. The average reader put your book down because they just didn't like your writing style—no, not because it was boring... they just, get this, didn't like it.

The average critical reader put your book down because it had six grammatical mistakes in the first two sentences.

The average reader will read quite a ways if the premise intrigues them, they like the genre, the writing style doesn't get on their nerves, and the characters pop off the page. In fact, they'll probably read the whole book, so long as it delivers on its plot promises and doesn't drag in the middle section.

The average reader will, however, stop reading after just two sentences if it's clear by the second sentence that the only thing they'll like about this book is the opening line.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Idk, I just think like, painting a demographic of people who, you know, pick up full length books to read for fun, as having short attention spans doesn't make too much sense. At least not as much sense as the alternative: words tell people things; namely, the contents of this book.

In general, though, I think we jump to blame short attention spans too often when there is a far more logical explanation. "It takes 0.06 seconds for viewers to scroll past a post." Yes, that is typically how long it takes me to discern whether this post is about something I'm interested in. There's a trillion posts out there, probably a billion books, of course we've gotten fast at sorting through content. That's not an attention span issue. That's just efficiency.

[homunculus-argument]

You ever think about how old people have no idea what “survivor bias” is, and take full credit for being excellent out of things where they lucked out?

“Back in my day we didn’t have any of these childhood protective things, we were smart enough not to do stupid shit on our own!” Except your little neighbour, who got the funniest idea at the age of seven, and got his skull pierced when he slipped?

“Back in my day nobody got divorced, we stuck together and fixed our problems!” What about your cousin, who was slowly killed by her husband because she had nowhere to escape him?

“Back in my day nobody had ‘mental problems’, we didn’t whine, we just toughed it out and endured life!” Hey remember that guy you used to work with, who seemed really friendly and normal, and then suddenly hanged himself ‘for no reason’?

“Back in my day we didn’t have any of this ‘gay’ or ‘transgender’ thing.” You did, but your family cut all ties with her before you were born.

 You kinda start seeing it in everything they think, if you start looking for it.

[thegrimzuera]

“When we were kids nobody whined about car seats or bike helmets. We didn’t use them, and we all survived!”

Yeah, except for the ones who didn’t.

[cruel-hiraeth]

if you build “community” around hating other people, just know that the second you step out of line—regardless of your moral uprightness or the hypocrisy on their part—you’re the next person they’re going to tear to pieces.