Hi! @oceania627 - Tumblr Blog

Oceania's Blog

Hi!! I probably should've made a pinned post by now but I made it! Eventually! I'm Oceania (o-she-an-a, I made the name before I realized that it was a real life region). I'm aroace nonbinary, he/they/she.

This blog doesn't really have a theme other than being mine? So if you're here don't expect consistency lol. That being said I LOVE TF2 so I reblog a lot of TF2 related stuff. Uhhhh that's it? I think?

https://www.tumblr.com/oceania627/746843818941431808/mutual-tags <- Leaving this here for myself, a list of tags for some of my mutuals that I use

#oceania in all caps is my tag for posts where I happen to be totally/mostly in caps

#save for later is what I use for things I think I might want to look back at

#highlights is what I plan to start using for things that make me happy to look at!

That's it! Have a nice day!

#pinned post #save for later #i probably forgot something but i'll edit it later if i need to

alsophila-grahami

mutuals to sit under this thing with

thoughtfulrobot

One of my favorite things in the whole world is to watch my dog perceive things

thoughtfulrobot

This is her perceiving a bug

#omg I love her...

thoughtfulrobot

One of my favorite things in the whole world is to watch my dog perceive things

thoughtfulrobot

This is her perceiving a bug

i-said-im-a-fucking-star

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

foxes-in-love

vampirebeverage

psa

no one fucking tells you this so here it is:

when signing out forms to apply for disability / filling out a form for diagnosis

you’re supposed to fill it out as you on your worst days

like, I filled out forms that said I could do most things usually

like, my doctor added in the conditions like “yeah, they can feed themselves when not stressed” “they can do this when not stressed”

but how I should have filled it out was more like

“some days I can’t feed myself” “some days I can’t leave the house”

My doctor didn’t even know this, but I talked to someone who had worked with people with both developmental and intellectual disabilities for a number of years, and she told me to write down how it is for your bad days

this should be a thing they tell you, but it isn’t

part of the reason I didn’t get my autism diagnosis as soon as I should have is because I filled out forms wrong!

reservoircat

This also goes for filling out forms for disabled parking rights. I’ve been rejected multiple times for a pass cause I didn’t find this out till recently.

deducecanoe-deactivated20161213

Wow

myceliorum

Also you’re generally supposed to fill it out as you are without help.

That throws me too. Because the more help I get, the more capable I get. It’s easy to forget what happens when the help falls away even partially let alone completely.

kikikakapo-art

lets get groomed with mama

luna-azzurra

Tips for Writing Grief! (AGAIN)

the five stages of grief were never meant to be a checklist your character moves through in chronological order across three chapters. Let me save you from writing a grieving character who is simply having scheduled emotions:

⊹ Grief is not primarily crying. i know that sounds wrong but hear me out. a lot of grief looks like doing laundry. cooking something the person liked and then not being able to eat it. watching a show they recommended and never told anyone you finished it. grief goes very quiet and very domestic for long stretches and then ambushes you at completely unreasonable moments like a petrol station or a Friday at 4pm for no reason at all.

⊹ people who are grieving often seem fine. not because they're suppressing or being brave or in denial, but because humans are genuinely capable of functioning and being devastated at the same time. your grieving character can make jokes. can go to work. can have a good day. can feel guilty about the good day. can feel guilty about not feeling guilty. grief has a very active internal bureaucracy that has nothing to do with what's visible on the outside.

⊹ Grief also changes shape over time in ways that aren't necessarily about getting better. the first year is often adrenaline, there are things to do, people around, ritual and structure. year two is frequently harder because the adrenaline is gone and the world has moved on and expects you to have moved on with it. your character being more visibly undone eighteen months later than at the funeral is not a pacing problem. it's accurate.

⊹ The relationship with the dead person doesn't stop. this is the one writers get most wrong. your grieving character is still in a relationship , still arguing with the person in their head, still updating them on things, still furious about something left unsaid, still finding out new things about them from other people and having to integrate a version of them they didn't fully know. grief is not the end of the relationship. it's the relationship continuing without any new information coming in.