mason

Hi. It seems I can never escape this hellsite.

[lavenderlemniscate]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[lavenderlemniscate]

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.

[hauntedhunted]

tarot reader: draws the tower me: thats bad isnt it tarot reader: draws the tower again me: uh oh tarot reader: draws boeing 767

[synnthamonsugar]

[notatzimisce]

the urban tarot is pretty cool. they‘ve changed some of their cards, but fortunately I, in possession of the very first edition, get to show you this

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[kitsuneharmony]

one year into the marriage

[akashicrecord]

the lesbian computer from portal was right. given the circumstances ive been shockingly nice

[ivy-connivy]

insane like/reblog parity on this post btw

[inkyrainstorms]

Yay

[solreefs]

beautiful strangers named extreme cold warning are texting me to make plans on friday

[i-suggest-transing-your-gender]

Dips you into the river of hrt but I have to hold onto you to do so, so you end up mostly super happy and gender affirmed but you're REALLY dysphoric about your right ankle

[caitimia]

[walmartculture]

Maroesjka Lavigne, Race Horse, Barbados, 2017

[pnglove]

[soulmvtes]

january is one of those months where you experience every feeling on the human spectrum and you just have to go about your day like that isn't happening

[clarenecessities]

they’ve been working on a fucking prank on me since april i’m so goddamn indignant

[hollis-exe]

tell them what the prank was, clare

[clarenecessities]

so for fucking months now we’ve been saying we were going to watch Blade, because i’d never seen it, but somebody was always too tired or too busy, but tonight we decided fuck it, tomorrow’s ciaran’s friday, let’s watch Blade

the first 40 minutes or so pass with many a delighted exclamation. stan lee was credited & i’m told blade was a marvel property, which is news to me. i’m thoroughly enjoying myself. the cop familiar gets the shit beat out of him & tells blade to check the fridge. the wind roars as the scene transition fades to black.

in fades a helicopter. a man with long dark hair on crutches emerges from it. i do not immediately recognize the man, but from the crutches & the hair i immediately go “morbius??”

they assure me he isn’t morbius. i accept that they don’t want to admit he’s morbius for some reason (maybe they just don’t want me to think blade is in the mcu?) as the entirety of michael morbius’s backstory plays out on screen.

i repeatedly ask “okay but this is literally morbius right” and “why are you doing this” as it becomes increasingly clear that we are now, somehow, watching Morbius (2022). everyone continues to insist it’s Blade (1999) until finally i ask “how long were you planning this” and logan says “you wanna know how long” and gives me a screenshot

fucking months of me genuinely wanting to watch the movie Blade (1999) with my friends and they goddamn Blorbius me. I got Blorbiused.

[whichcouldmeanothing]

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

[innerchildabortionclinic]

who else COLD tonight

[innerchildabortionclinic]

come on everyone you know what to do

[paulinsversion10-deactivated202]

Golden hour date 🌄🧃

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[xenninx]

serving fuckass bob

mello in the form of an instagram story - an ode to doing literally anything but studying multivariant analysis for my midterm on monday and also he needs a facial piercing

[x0olange]

i havent seen mellodramattic drawn on this template, or maybe im just really unlucky not to find it, but i made my own🥹

[torrutt]

💀💝