I Spend Too Much Of My Life Here

hey, i'm Josie, from the UK, 18 years old. I basically post anything I think is amusing, plus whatever fandoms I've been initiated into recently

[balioc]

The Daycare

When I was a King and a Baby -- yet burdened with unskilled hands --

My works were wrought for me by giants, who harkened to my commands.

For me they drew oceans of water; for me they hewed forests of wood;

And though they were foolish and clumsy, I’m sure they did all that they could.  

But every slave is a villain, and every love betrays,

And my giants schemed to dethrone me and return to their idle days.

In the dark of the morning they seized me, without any reason or rhyme,

To carry me off to a prison where I languished for time beyond time. 

In that dismal place I grew stronger, and harder, and cunning, and bold; 

And took heart in the secrets and stories that the other prisoners told.  

For a hoary old toddler once whispered, as I lay in my gloom on the floor:

“Even this Hell will be Harrowed.  In time, you will go home once more.”

So I clutched to my hopes, and I waited; I sat at the feet of the the wise;

I sifted the lessons of power from the words of my jailers’ lies.

Then after an aeon, or twenty -- my giants appeared at the gate!

With penitent tears they embraced me, and returned me to royal estate.  

---------

When I was a King and a Baby, in the masterful noon of my reign,

I endured, with solemn acceptance, endless treasons in my domain.

In time They would always turn rebel; in time, They would cast me away;

And in time They would always return, to raise me up high.  Yet again.  Come what may.

I await now my durance with patience.  When it comes, I shed nary a tear --

But abide, and comfort my fellows, through all their despairing fear.  

And this above all do I teach them, as a King in that wretched corps:

“Even this Hell will be Harrowed.  In time, you will go home once more.”

[machine-saint]

i wasn't "socialized male" or "socialized female". i wasn't socialized. i'm a feral child with no concept of language. the fact that my hands mashing at this keyboard produce intelligible english is a complete coincidence.

[sexysilverstrider]

the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

[medusasstory]

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

[headspace-hotel]

y'all ever reach the end of google

[headspace-hotel]

I'm starting to gain insight into why people turn into conspiracy theorists. Some topics are so totally neglected that it looks like they were intentionally and maliciously erased, instead of falling victim to arbitrary lack of interest.

I think it's a vicious cycle; when people don't know something exists, they're not curious about it. Also, people use conceptual categories to think about things, and when a topic falls between or outside of conceptual categories, it can end up totally omitted from our awareness even though it very much exists and is important.

This post is about native bamboo in the United States and the fact that miles-wide tracts of the American Southeast used to be covered in bamboo forests

[headspace-hotel]

@icannotgetoverbirds It already is a maddening, bizarre research hole that I have been down for the past few weeks.

Basically, I learned that we have native bamboo, that it once formed an ecosystem called the canebrake that is now critically endangered. The Southeastern USA used to be full of these bamboo thickets that could stretch for miles, but now the bamboo only exists in isolated patches

And THEN.

I realized that there is a little fragment of a canebrake literally in my neighborhood.

HI I AM NOW OBSESSED WITH THIS.

I did not realize the significance until I showed a picture to the ecologist where i work and his reaction was "Whoa! That is BIG."

Apparently extant stands of river cane are mostly just...little sparse thickety patches in forest undergrowth. This patch is about a quarter acre monotypic stand, and about ten years old.

I dive down the Research Hole(tm). Everything new I learn is wilder. Giant river cane mainly reproduces asexually. It only flowers every few decades and the entire clonal colony often dies after it flowers. Seeds often aren't viable.

It's barely been studied enough to determine its ecological significance, but there are five butterfly species and SEVEN moth species dependent on river cane. Many of these should probably be listed as endangered but there's not enough research

There's a species of CRITICALLY ENDANGERED PITCHER PLANT found in canebrakes that only still remains in TWO SPECIFIC COUNTIES IN ALABAMA

Some gardening websites list its height as "over 6 feet" "Over 10 feet" There are living stands that are 30+ feet tall, historical records of it being over 40 feet tall or taller. COLONIAL WRITINGS TALK ABOUT CANES "AS THICK AS A MAN'S THIGH."

The interval between flowering is anyone's guess, and WHY it happens when it does is also anyone's guess. Some say 40-50 years, but there are records of it blooming in as little time as 3-15 years.

It is a miracle plant for filtering pollution. It absorbs 99% of groundwater nitrate contaminants. NINETY NINE PERCENT. It is also so ridiculously useful that it was a staple of Native American material culture everywhere it grew. Baskets! Fishing poles! Beds! Flutes! Mats! Blowguns! Arrows! You name it! You can even eat the young shoots and the seeds.

I took these pictures myself. This stuff in the bottom photo is ten feet tall if it's an inch.

Arundinaria itself is not currently listed as endangered, but I'm growing more and more convinced that it should be. The reports of seeds being usually unviable could suggest very low genetic diversity. You see, it grows in clonal colonies; every cane you see in that photo is probably a clone. The Southern Illinois University research project on it identified 140 individual sites in the surrounding region where it grows.

The question is, are those sites clonal colonies? If so, that's 140 individual PLANTS.

Also, the consistent low estimates of the size Arundinaria gigantea attains (6 feet?? really??) suggests that colonies either aren't living long enough to reach mature size or aren't healthy enough to grow as big as they are supposed to. I doubt we have any clue whatsoever about how its flowers are pollinated. We need to do some research IMMEDIATELY about how much genetic diversity remains in existing populations.

[headspace-hotel]

You'll never guess what I spent a month frantically researching myself to madness about earlier this year!

[somanyjacks]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

[wormsslime]

[wahtdahel-blog]

judicial warrant

administrative warrant

So sad that if you don’t know your rights they will abuse their power, fucking disgraceful

[t4t4t]

Native burial sites blown up for US border wall

"Controlled blasting" for Mr Trump's border wall is taking place at sacred gravesites, tribes and lawmakers say.

[izalen]

Colonialism is not a concept of a bygone era.

[nizhomie]

@defendoodhamjewed on instagram is the best source to keep up with this issue that I’ve seen lately! Plus, they have a bail fund for land protectors!

DEFEND OODHAM LAND Bail Fund, organized by Tohono Oodham

Tohono O'odham, Akimel O'odham and Hia-Ced O'odham tribes have thrived and existed in the S… Tohono Oodham needs your support for DEFEND OOD

[midvalkyrie]

On the 50th Anniversary of Scooby-Doo let us celebrate the musical group of goddesses known as the Hex Girls (x)

[butchflirt]

[strawberry-crocodile]

Zillenial things

Being young enough for Minecraft but too old for Fortnite

Being alive for 9/11 but not remembering it at all cuz you were like 2

Seeing reruns of 90s shows when you were really little but being to young to really remember them

Feeling betrayed by Butch Hartman

Listening to the bops of ~2009-2012 in middle school gym class

Growing up through the transition from clunky PCs for nerds and flip phones to smartphones and sleek and easy laptops

Pictochat

Being called a millenial by baby boomers and Gen Z by millenials

[theforce]

god !!!!!!!!!!!! i read this 39 times over n over again !!!!!!!!!!!! 

[sophie531896273240810891]

oh, to b a harvest mouse living in a european meadow.. munch on a lil flower for breakfast… climb up a blade of grass n swing on a tranquil breeze enjoying the sunlight .. Unreal

[sophie531896273240810891]

effervescent

[notascorpio-deactivated20180803]

[creatine-baby]

This is very triggering

[books-and-cookies]

“Hermione took out a list of subjects and titles she had decided to search while Ron strode off down a row of books and started pulling them off the shelves at random. Harry wandered over to the Restricted Section.” 

Okay but this is legit a summary of how the trio works: Hermione is methodical and organised, Ron is “fuck this I’m winging it #yolo”, and Harry looks for something illegal to do.

[ithelpstodream]

[lawyerupasshole]

[neurodisgruntled]

#can we just appreciate the fact that the Queen agreed to be a BOND GIRL just for one night?

What I think is totally awesome is that Daniel Craig said that the Queen was supposed to look up straight away, but she improvised the letter writing and completely blanked him, so the awkward standing there was completely realisitic. The Queen ignored James Bond because she was ACTING.

[lazarusgirl-deactivated20181112]

She ain’t called the Queen for nothing, kids.

[fishyandclintbarton]

I remember watching this live and thinking, ‘that’s not the Queen, no way.’ Then she turned around and HOLY FUCK! THAT’S THE ACTUAL QUEEN! 

And that’s why the 2012 Opening Ceremony will forever be my favourite.

[violent-darts]

My favourite thing is that you can tell Craig is, underneath the stoic Bondness, going EEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEE I AM ACTING WITH THE QUEEN EEEEEE I AM BEING BOND WITH THE ACTUAL FUCKING QUEEN NO OTHER BONDS GOT TO DO THIS EEEEE. 

I feel this is also a realistic feeling for Bond in this moment so really excellent method Mr Craig. 

[ekjohnston]

Also, she made them change the helicopter they were going to use because she knew it was the wrong type of helicopter.

ALSO they brought her the script for approval and she was all “Cool, can I play me?” and they were all “Um…yes?” because originally they were going to cast for the part.

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

*cackling for Reasons*

[lauraannegilman]

The Queen was not a Bond Girl.  Bond was a Queen’s Boy.

[baetology]

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

[bumblebeebats]

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

[shieldfoss]