Peter has the ability to talk for ages and not say a single thing, he is just yapping about everything and anything, it has managed to make the marauders not go to detention multiple times.
"Remus, how do you give a blow job?” James asked
Remus nearly spat out his tea. Of all the things he'd expected James to say, that was not one of them.
“Excuse me?” Remus coughed.
“I asked how to give a blow job,” James repeated, his face getting redder than Remus thought possible. Remus blinked at him. Surely James knew the basic mechanics of oral sex…right?
“Er, it’s pretty straightforward. You put it in your mouth and…you know.” Remus offered, wondering how quickly he could get away from this conversation. Why was James asking him of all people? Why not Sirius, who was much more outspoken about sex? James rolled his eyes.
“I know that much, obviously. I need to know how.” Remus looked at him.
“You want practical tips on how to suck a guy off?”
“Yes,” James mumbled.
“Why?”
“Curiosity?” Remus raised a single eyebrow at James, a look he’d been told was unnerving. “Fine, it’s not just curiosity. It’s because- fucking hell, you know why.” Remus blinked. As far as he'd been aware, James was straight, but apparently this was no longer the case.
“Who?” Remus asked. James looked panicked, opening his mouth but not making a sound. “Never mind, you don’t have to tell me," Remus assured. James would tell him when he was ready, and only if whoever it was that prompted this question agreed. Remus looked at James for another minute, watching as he slowly turned tomato red and trying not to laugh.
“Alright, I guess if you want pointers…”
…..
"So," James panted, wiping sweat off his forehead, "was that good?" Regulus stared down at him in amazement.
"That was fucking amazing. Shit, I thought you said this was your first time with a guy?"
"It was," James blushed and looked down at the stone floor of the supply closet he was kneeling in, "I may have asked a friend for some pointers." Regulus narrowed his eyes.
"Please tell me it wasn't Sirius…"
"No! It was Remus." Regulus tipped his head back against the wall and groaned, realizing that the man who had taught James to give such an amazing blow job had learned on-.
"Erg, that's almost worse."
…
Back in Gryffindor tower, Remus sat bolt upright in bed with a horrifying realization. Fuck, I just taught my boyfriend's best friend how to suck off his little brother. Remus covered his face with his hands and flopped back onto his bed. He could only pray that Sirius never found out.
The irony of this new breed of self-righteous AI hunters on AO3 is that they're all just copy and pasting peoples fics into AI detectors, which are all operated by AI and therefore THEY are feeding people's work into the algorithm without their consent and in some cases no doubt circumventing the locks people put on to avoid getting scraped...
Don't copy and paste anyone's AO3 work into third party websites, you're not the good guys in this situation?
the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be a part of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.
1) Vaping is confirmed to cause cancer. Vaping coats the lungs with toxic substances, such as heavy metals and benzene, which are known to cause cancer
2) Many vapes contain diacetyl, which, when inhaled causes popcorn lung, or scarring of the lung
3) Ultrafine particles, when being inhaled, can be lodged in the trachea (not good!)
4) Ultrafine particles can also constrict the arteries in the lungs potentially causing A HEART ATTACK
5) Vaping is relatively new. Not much studies have been done in comparison to tobacco. Plus, the vaping companies are powerful people. There is a large chance that they are purposely downplaying and even burying any evidence that vaping is harmful - just like the tobacco companies before them. They do not care about you, or your health, or the truth. They only care for money
Please I’m begging yall as an asthmatic, your fruit-flavored vapor will still give people around you who are smoke-sensitive attacks. So will weed. Don’t do it inside; if you’re at a bus stop or something try to not stand right next to people or move downwind of them if you can.
One day I will make something so perfect It will make somebody feel like my favorite book made me feel. They will smell the pages and find out what happiness tastes like on their lips. It will happen in the dark of night, in the depths of a broom closet, they will have probably stolen my book and I will be happy because they get the sweet paper smell nevertheless. They will feel happy thanks to me.
i hate it when someone asks me what my favorite work of art is because i can't say "the one of the woman chilling on the rocks with a dragon lying in her lap and giving off powerful big dick energy" but how else am i supposed to describe it
There's something about this twist on the common unicorn lore that unicorns will lay their heads in the laps of fair (virgin) maidens that I'm absolutely in love with here. Where those women are often portrayed as fragile and innocent and pure, this woman is completely nonchalant. She is confident in her position as part of or benefactor of this dragon's hoard. There is a man climbing to the roost, an interloper, and she has no concerns whatsoever. She and her dragon are content and unconcerned with the petty greed of mortals.
This image has the same aort of energy as those pictures of people who are trying to do some sort of work but can’t because a cat has made themselves comfortable.
She’s like ‘I was just about to get up a shoo the pest boy off of the ro—oh, you want nap/cuddle time? Okay, sure. Pest boy can wait I guess.’
The miscommunication in Heated Rivalry is because they're living in different romance types to begin with:
Shane: In some sort of Austen-esque existence where hjs ill-advised flirtation with a notorious rake goes too far. Scandalised by the intimate use of first names he flees, concerned what society and his goodly parents will think, his reputation at stake. He tries to find a proper marriage prospect but alas his heart is lost to the rake! But he finally follows his heart and invites Ilya into his home too (and accepts first name usage!)
Ilya: Smoldering in mirrors and out of windows and getting emotionally wuthered screaming Shane's name on a moor. My man is byronically going through it gothic style
Scott Hunter is trying to live his best modern rom com life and is side-eyeing the fuck out of these two. No idea what's going on there and franly doesn't want to
Netflix trying to capitalize on HR’s success reminds me of the mean girl in The Princess Diaries telling the reporters that she and Mia were best friends
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
