QUEEN OF ALL

Hello people of the internet.

[cannibalchicken]

[strangeparker]

[homoeroticsubtextinspace]

That's some looney tunes shit right here

[assoc-of-free-people]

[gothic1997]

i just found an old flash drive and this is the only thing on it

[tragicallyunaesthetic]

tumblr holidays:

the met gala

halloween (the month)

the ides of march

nov 5 (new!)

[tragicallyunaesthetic]

some ones i missed:

eurovision (region specific)

dashcon memorial day

october 3rd

neil banging out the tunes’ anniversary

and for those who remember, the 21st night of september

[tragicallyunaesthetic]

a few more:

mishapocalypse (dreaded)

the perfect date: april 25th

pride month

any time that it’s gonna be may

[theshitneyspears]

Her Calvins 😍😍😍

[ogrebud-deactivated20230121]

who is she

[island-delver-go]

Source

[themaskedhero]

[tentadog-deactivated20220704]

[neil-gaiman]

That Ben Affleck was Adele all this time has left me amazed. Truly his greatest role.

[beans-shadow]

I think Neil Gaiman is one of the only celebrities that truly understands what Tumblr users want.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

you can know the punchline but you can’t stop it from punching you.

[junkartie]

“Women these days are so immodest hrr grr” have u considered men just arent slutty enough? Show some titty bitchboy

[kasimirmir]

[andhumanslovedstories]

So I came home from work today and there was a kindle addressed to me that I did not remember ordering. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how I accidentally purchased a kindle from Amazon, and when I came back from hanging out with Catherine, I told my parents, guys, you will not believe what I accidentally ordered for myself. 

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

So anyway, we now have a family kindle 

[andhumanslovedstories]

Me and Mom were talking about the kindle this morning, and she told me about how a few weeks ago, she got into her car only to discover that it had been mysteriously cleaned.

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”

Poor Dad just wants to be a man who expresses his love through silent actions, but his family consists of panicked, suspicious women who apparently are very sure that strangers will ominously do nice things for us

[thyrell]

think im gettin sick anyone got good cheap soup recipes

[thyrell]

one of these days i am going 2 learn my lesson about asking strangers for help

[clubtie]

I was on a bus once when this guy tapped my knee and pointed out that we were the only two people not looking at their phones and then asked what I was thinking about. 

sometimes when I’m having a bad day I relive the moment I saw the his manic pixi dream girl hopes draining from his eyes and fill up with confusion and boredom as I explained to him I was thinking about which Rupaul’s Drag Race challenges Frank n Furter would preform best in and locked him into the conversation until it was my stop

[ostolero]

it’s about time I contributed to the online discourse

bricks are domesticated rocks

[chaoticnasty]

Stop

[hellsite-yano]

Let them speak

[guerrillatech]

[an-autistic-with-personhood]

[synebluetoo]

Why would you hide that in the notes

[sosuperawesome]

Nathan J. Anderson on Instagram

[pglang]

it's NO-vember. Don't ask me for shit