The masterpost
Dead Man's Diner
Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7
Champion and King
Pt 1
Welcome to Gotham
Pt1
almost home
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@on-the-clear-blue
The masterpost
Dead Man's Diner
Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7
Champion and King
Pt 1
Welcome to Gotham
Pt1
goodnight goblins. goodnight ghouls. goodnight screaming tomes and scrolls. goodnight floating glowing eye. goodnight my dear homunculi. goodnight imps and spectral wraiths. goodnight false god that feeds on faith. goodnight bony skeletons. goodnight inert collapsing sun. goodnight monster made of mud. goodnight vampires drinking blood. i wish you all good evil-night. and please do let the bed bugs bite
@monstrousagonies
I had to try reading this aloud. - L
MCU but just the superhero community being horrified and confused by how vigilantes operate. Explained by Spider-Man who’s been doing this shit since he was 14.
The Avengers need to team up with vigilantes, after the Sokoiva accord’s drama they try to work with smaller hero’s for PR and to understand street level culture. They of course ask the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man since he knows Iron Man’s and seems talkative enough in addition to knowing everyone.
Spider-Man is a high-schooler with criminal connections, radioactive DNA and a mild concussion. he had no fucking idea why the Avengers are talking to him. He only helped Iron Man to get him off his ass so he wouldn’t snitch to his aunt.
Spider-Man has no jurisdiction, Spider-Man does not give a fuck who has jurisdiction. But also you need to respect the jurisdiction. There are levels to this shit.
Spider-Man is a well known New York vigilante. There’s no official qualifications to be one and nobody ever officially certifies you. You just do what you want to do and you know you’ve made it when you start getting a designated press company’s to slander you’re name or when you’re enemies start to get elaborate theme’s. There should be forums and community who monitor vigilante activity, maybe they have little markers for potential long term vigilantes like the one year mark or surviving your first alien invasion but otherwise it alls very arbitrary. Regardless it’s obvious Spider-Man is legit and not going anywhere.
Spider-Man explains that he operates in Queens, but Manhattan is free game. Technically he’s a New York vigilant so he’s not really bound to any one specific borough. But like if anyone asks for him he’s in Queens that’s his turf. You gotta respect the turf. Again there are levels to this shit. Nobody fucking respects the turf.
He argues that, no he’s not being weird. That’s how vigilantes operate they don’t do well in groups and close proximity. The back bone of vigilante culture is you gotta be able to handle your shit. The only way you become a vigilante is by living long enough and pissing enough people off to be considered one. The requirement isn’t having superpowers or being strong or lethal , it’s literally just getting back up after you get laid out.
The Avengers are a little confused but can’t disagree since they don’t know how they work. They are used to the structure of SHEILD missions. They ask who’s in charge
Spider-Man looks offended at that question. Nobody’s in charge, there’s no offical rankings. Everyone just does their own thing and unless you’re pissing off other people there’s no reason to try and extent authority. None of the vigilantes respect authority, all vigilantes are assholes none of them have authority or any sense of self preservation. If you’re lucky you won’t interact with another vigilante, unfortunately all vigilantes are connected through a string of cruel fate to accidentally meet. Vigilante’s fall into two categories of fucking assholes or little shits, regardless they tend to be pretty decent people.
This Is all just one giant pissing contest of who can get their goals completed while staying out of jail and being somewhat alive. You don’t have authority, you will eventually piss off another vigilante and this will lead to mutual respect if you both make it out alive with your goals somewhat accomplished. You might hate eachother or become best buddies or both simultaneously but competence is the determining factor.
Spider-Man explains Harlem is for Luke Cage but he’s not really a hero. Yes he knows Luke is called Harlem’s hero but Luke has an identity thing going on okay. It’s not polite to pressure enhanced people into taking the hero mantle. He’s like a Good Samaritan/vigilante/ hero but don’t pry. Depending on what stage of the identity conflict he’s on he will accept the term hero or beat you for saying that.
Chinatown is for Danny Rand, He has a secret identity but it’s really bad secret like literally everyone knows it. No he’s not a vigilante he’s got monk things going on and a fist that glows but don’t bring it up in-front of people it was a whole thing last time. He does martial art or whatever and he’s super rich you’ll know it’s him because he can’t control his volume and we just recently got him to start wearing shoes.
Hell’s Kitchen is for Daredevil, Yes Spider-Man knows his secret identity but he’s not gonna tell you seriously don’t ask him? It’s so rude to snitch on people where’s you’r sense of cape community? Secret identity shenanigans are the founding pillars of vigilantism? Look Daredevil takes weird breaks okay so just don’t send him spiraling he has a guilt complex thing and he bites so just don’t piss him off. His default setting is angry omnipotent asshole. Yes daredevil is strangely nice to Spider-Man but this is an outlier not the status quo. Don’t talk shit about him he’ll find out and also he thrives on chaos he’s surprisingly willing to do stupid shit with you if you ask nicely.
Also Jessica Jones technically inhabits Hell’s Kitchen but she’s not really about that hero life she’s a private investigator it’s different. Like she’ll help people but very begrudgingly and often while drunk but just ignore her for the most part unless you have something she’ll want in exchange. You’ve gotta get on her good side but that’s not something you can force all vigilante friendships are avoidant truma bonds thy occur when you have to kill dinosaurs together.
Also vigilantes don’t do friends. Except for Spider-Man he has a shit ton of vigaintes friends. Friendship in the vigilante community happens through osmosis of whatever toxic fumes you’re being exposed to in the sewers.
Yes all of the mentioned people know each other but it’s different. Look no they’re not in cahoots okay you need to understand they know each other and they aren’t enemy’s but they also aren’t really friends but they trust each other but also they dont want to work together at all. Their a lot of very complex dynamics at play that rely on the mutual understanding of how mentally unhinged everyone in the vigainte community can be.
Spider-Man explains you can’t go into Hell’s Kitchen, you’ll piss off Daredevil. It’s just like common courtesy, okay you can’t fuck around in another vigilantes territory. No it’s not specifically assigned to any vigilante but like you just need to know who protects what. Nobody tells you about this stuff but one day you’ll wander into a borough at 2AM and get a baton to the temple as an introduction. If you’re quips are funny enough and and you’re heart is pure you might be allowed back inside.
Yes Daredevil knows Spider-Man was fighting Kingpin in Hell’s Kitchen last week that’s different. No trust him, nobody likes Fisk that’s fair game you can fight Fisk anywhere. Also Spider-Man got ran over like four times with a tank when you get injured enough it’s like a pass to enter other vigilantes spaces.
Spider-Man should be exasperated explaining that no you don’t understand it was a Midday unplanned fight with kingpin where he was really injured Daredevil won’t care it’s different.
Also the dumpsters are free rein. You can pass out in any alleyway or dumpster you want it’s a god given right. All vigilantes, anti-hero’s, superhero’s and capes are entitled to bleeding out in a back alleyways. Disgusting blood soaked pavement is the foundation of this community.
There’s also anti-hero’s like The Punisher. Spider-Man thinks he’s a criminally insane public threat who needs psychological help but he’s able to handle himself and Spiderman doesn’t want a bullet in his side so they stay out of each others ways. There’s also mercenary’s like Deadpool but you can’t really befriend them? They do their thing and you can try to stop it from happening but antagonizing them unprovoked isn’t the best idea.
This isn’t to say he lets them do whatever because he has a moral obligation to protect but he doesn’t actively go out to hunt the person does this make sense?
The avengers think Spider-Man is spouting shit because nothing he says is coherent or makes sense but he says it with such conviction.
MY NAME, IS FRICKIN MOON MOON. I’D BE THE MOST IDIOTIC WOLF. ‘OH SHIT WHO BROUGHT FUCKING MOON MOON ALONG?’
the post that started it all
oh god
Never not reblogging.
I’ve only seen this post in screenshots
I’m very surprised this post hasn’t broken a million.
Want to learn something new in 2022??
Absolute beginner adult ballet series (fabulous beginning teacher)
40 piano lessons for beginners (some of the best explanations for piano I’ve ever seen)
Excellent basic crochet video series
Basic knitting (probably the best how to knit video out there)
Pre-Free Figure Skate Levels A-D guides and practice activities (each video builds up with exercises to the actual moves!)
How to draw character faces video (very funny, surprisingly instructive?)
Another drawing character faces video
Literally my favorite art pose hack
Tutorial of how to make a whole ass Stardew Valley esque farming game in Gamemaker Studios 2??
Introduction to flying small aircrafts
French/Dutch/Fishtail braiding
Playing the guitar for beginners (well paced and excellent instructor)
Playing the violin for beginners (really good practical tips mixed in)
Color theory in digital art (not of the children’s hospital variety)
Retake classes you hated but now there’s zero stakes:
Calculus 1 (full semester class)
Learn basic statistics (free textbook)
Introduction to college physics (free textbook)
Introduction to accounting (free textbook)
Learn a language:
Ancient Greek
Latin
Spanish
German
Japanese (grammar guide) (for dummies)
French
Russian (pretty good cyrillic guide!)
Want to learn something new in 2023??
Cooking with flavor bootcamp (used what I learned in this a LOT this year)
Beekeeping 101
Learn Interior Design from the British Academy of Interior Design (free to audit course - just choose the free option when you register)
Video on learning to read music that actually helped me??
How to use and sew with a sewing machine
How to ride a bike (listen. some of us never learned, and that's okay.)
How to cornrow-braid hair (I have it on good authority that this video is a godsend for doing your baby niece's black hair)
Making mead at home (I actually did this last summer and it was SO good)
How to garden
Basics of snowboarding (proceed with caution)
How to draw for people who (think they) suck at art (I know this website looks like a 2003 monstrosity, but the tutorials are excellent)
Pixel art for beginners so you can make the next great indie game
Go (back) to school
Introduction to Astronomy (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)
Principals of Economics (high school course - free textbook w/ practice problems)
Introduction to philosophy (free college course)
Computer science basics (full-semester Harvard course free online)
Learn a language
Japanese for Dummies (link fix from 2022)
Ukrainian
Portuguese (Brazil)
American Sign Language (as somebody who works with Deaf people professionally, I also strongly advise you to read up on Deaf/HoH culture and history!)
Chinese (Simplified)
Quenya (LOTR fantasy elf language)
Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.
post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats
post so nice had to
reblog it twice and force it
down everyone’s throats
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
they just added sparkledogs to the kennel club registry
they carried a generation
This post is: Kiki
I lie on the floor bleeding, I am seconds away from dying. I stand up perfectly straight and calmly walk over to my computer-- Inputing my password with calm collectedness, I log on to tumblr.com, I start wrtting a text post: "omggggg it's like this bullet is obsessed with me the way it is all up in my bussiness shfhgj #mybullet", I close my tabs, I power down my computer and walk back, I do the source engine ragdoll and I am dead within impact
Okay, I am really obsessed with this joke. I literally reblog it every time I see it.
prev has infected me and i’m now legally obliged to reblog this every time i see it
scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 3 (masterpost here)
*peaceful quiet in the kitchen, Alfred cooking while Tim and Jason chill on their phones at the breakfast bar*
Tim, out of the blue: hey Jay, gotta question for you.
Jason: *hums promptingly*
Alfred: *calmly stirring a pan on the stove*
Tim: would you jerk off a gorilla?
Alfred: *pauses stirring* *refuses to look behind him*
*a beat*
Jason: *hums, remarkably open-minded* can i get more context of the conditions i'd be under?
Alfred, sighing heavily: *slowly begins stirring again*
Tim: like- you know that trend of trying to figure out who would win; 100 men or 1 gorilla?
Jason: ya.
Tim: well somebody online brought up the strategy of like. whacking it off and then taking it down while it's vulnerable. and i keep thinking about it.
Jason, instant and casual: well s' a natural thing to think about, you're at a very crucial time in your human development. hormones ablaze, nothin' to be ashamed of, Timmy.
Tim, unphased: -shut up, i'm serious. i'm just wondering like, if all of us- bats i mean, if all of us were up against one gorilla and we had to fall back on jerking it. which one of us would take the bullet? like would you do it for us?
Alfred, pointedly, teeth gritted, without turning around: dinner will be ready in twenty minutes, you two.
*a beat*
Jason, sounding slightly confused: yeah we know Alfie, we've been here the whole time- anyway, Tim,
Alfred: *dead-eyed staring forward as they continue talking*
Jason: -in what universe would we have to resort to jerking this thing off? if we're up against a gorilla i'm fucking shooting it in the face harambe style. i've done worse, i can take it.
Tim: no you don't- *sigh* you don't get it. the whole point is that we get no weapons whatsoever, just pure unaided humanity against a formidable angry gorilla.
Jason: we're trained vigilantes?! i don't think we'd have an issue?!
Tim: it's a fucking hypothetical Jason. in a world where we didn't have those skills-
Jason: i'd be dead way before we got to the gorilla- Tim, i know you have that whole hero-worship thing goin' on with me, but you realise that with those skills i lost to just a guy holding a crowbar, right? what makes you think that without the skills i would even make it to the gorilla fight? let alone hold my own against it?
Tim: well no- that's what i'm saying! i'm saying that if you couldn't fight the gorilla, would you whack it-
Jason: -no you're not! you're talking some bullshit about me never having been trained by Batman, and i'm telling you i'd have been fucked way before i ever got to the gorilla. if this is a batskill-less fight then i wouldn't fuckin' be there.
Tim: no but- *groans* you are so finicky- ok so we have the batskills, and you made it to the gorilla fight,
Jason, matter-of-fact: gorilla would be dead within minutes.
Tim: OK BUT WE CAN'T FIGHT IT.
Jason: oh for- why not?
Tim: i don't fuckin' know-!
*footsteps from down the hall*
Tim: there's gotta be some kind of reason that physical combat won't work- oi, Damian, Damian!
Damian, entering the kitchen: hm? Pennyworth, father is wondering what time he should come down from his study for dinner.
Alfred, dead inside: tell him he should probably just stay up there.
Damian: *confused*
Tim: Damian! what would stop you from fighting a gorilla?
Damian:
Damian: respect for the species, i suppose?
Jason: ok well would respect for the species lead you to jerk off the gorilla?
Alfred: he is thirteen, Master Jason.
Damian, unphased: in what context would a gorilla wish for me to stimulate it sexually?
Alfred: lord help me.
Jason: in the context of god apparently won't let us fight it.
Tim: that's not what i said-
Jason: i don't understand why we're jerking this thing off. you said in the beginning we were jerkin' it so it would be vulnerable enough for us to take down; but you just said we can't fight it. so at this point we're just subjecting poor little Damian to being this gorilla's concubine for no reason. we're gonna get it vulnerable and then just do nothing about it.
Damian: do i get hand sanitiser for afterwards?
Jason: no, god also took away our tools and weapons- is that your only issue with this?
Tim: NO I'M NOT- i'm not saying we can't fight the gorilla at all, i'm just saying the gorilla has outclassed us and we have to fall back to whacking it off to lower it's abilities!
Damian: in what universe would a gorilla outclass us, we were trained by Batman.
Tim:
Tim, flat: gorilla was trained by Lady Shiva.
Jason: w- i was trained by Lady Shiva. you were trained by Lady Shiva; for longer than me! you fight the gorilla!
Tim: ok but you understand that if me and the gorilla had the same training but the gorilla is way bigger and way heavier then the gorilla would still win, right? that's why i'm wondering who would whack it off, who would we sacrifice?
Jason: well- Damian, apparently, since his only gripe was 'will i get hand sanitiser afterwards'.
Damian, hissing: i never said i would do it i was just trying to gather more context-
Jason: i mean the question nobody's asking here is would the gorilla even want it?
Tim: what do you mean?
Jason: i mean, if god locked us up with the gorilla; no tools and no escape, then logically the gorilla is also locked in right? he's just as much a victim as us. why do we gotta resort to sexual warfare? can't we team up with the gorilla to fight god and get out?
Tim: w-
Tim, thinking:
Tim, decisive: no the gorilla would be ok with it. the gorilla doesn't care about being locked in, it just wants us all dead. the strategy here is getting the gorilla to fall in love with us.
Damian: regardless of if the gorilla is 'ok' with it, it being locked in without escape is still coercion. we can't do that to the gorilla.
Jason: .....i dunno...
Damian: what do you mean 'i dunno', you're literally the guy who shoots people like that in the alley without hesitation.
Jason: well yeah but that's people-
Damian: SO WITH ANIMALS IT'S OK?
Jason: w- no, hold on NO, NO NO, I DIDN'T MEAN- i hate this fucking conversation, because that's completely out of context and it sounds horrible. i'm just- does it sound horrible to say- Alfie, does it make me horrible to say that if i had to decide between gang-banging a gorilla and the gorilla gang-banging me and my family, that i would choose to gang-bang the gorilla? like it's worst case scenario BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE THAT'S LOGICAL?
Alfred: *speechless*
Dick, having just entered the room: what the ever-loving fuck are you guys talking about in here?
*silence*
Jason: ok fuck this- Dick, if you had to whack off a gorilla to save Damian from having to whack off a gorilla, would you do it?
Dick:
Dick: like for a certain amount of time...? or just-
Tim: to completion. we're killing the gorilla during the post-nut-daze.
Dick:
Dick: then yeah sure.
Jason: boom, problem solved, we'd send in Nightwing. happy now Tim?
Tim: yeah that makes sense.
Jason: great. Alfie, when did you say dinner would be ready?
Alfred:
Alfred:
Alfred: i really need to retire.
WET BEAST WEDNESDAY
one of my favorite wet beast for this wednesday
#mybal
Ten years ago, at a Parent Teacher Meeting.
Teacher: Jason is such a great student Mr Wayne, a genuine joy to have around and always so helpful...though there has been some...concerning habits that I wanted to bring up.
Bruce, looking over at Jason who is reading a book and looks to not be paying attention: Oh? My Jaylad? What could he be doing?
Teacher, smiling tightly: Well Mr Wayne its just...there has been some concerns from other teachers...you see, Jason is a straight A Student, and...has shown to have a deep understanding of mob tactics and criminal actions...as well as being a bit of a loner and tends to look down on others at times...im sure you know what im getting at?
Bruce, actually frowning and almost dropping right out of Brucie mode: I dont actually. Jason might know the ins and outs of gang culture simply by his past, and how can being a loner be a bad thing? I myself was more secluded as a child and I turned out fine.
Teacher, almost audibly cringing: Well...Mr Wanye its just...we fear that if Jason was to graduate collage the likely hood of him becoming a Rogue is so high that its almost a sure fact.
Bruce, standing up in and instant, looking and actually pissed: What nerve! My Jaylad would never be something like....like that! Come on son we are leaving! I will have your job sir!
Jason, looking up from his book as he stands, only to smirk at the teacher and run a finger across his throat: I told ya it wouldnt work bitch.
---
Presant day, Jason fully revealed to be the Red Hood, known killer, crime lord and head Don of Gothams local mafia.
Bruce, looking down at Jason as he applys pressure to a new bullet hole his sons gave him: Shit your teacher was right about you Jay.
Jason, still suffering from the evil lime jello: The fuck you say to me?
Bruce, slowly bleeding out: Totally shouldn't have said you could...go to college...s-should have sent you to...to a tech school...god just working towards a PHD made you Evil...
Jason, blinking under his helmet because he actually did go to an online college while at the LoA: I actually got one in English.
Bruce, openly weeping: No...No not my Son...Not my Jaylad...my boy youre...you are more than...than that PHD...c-come back...h-home... (passes out)
Tim, who had just been standing on the side lines: Yeah time to head home B, good job on getting that PHD Hood, honestly this isnt that bad of a reaction, should have seen the fit he threw when Nightwing told him he passed the bar exam.
Jason, humming: Goods for Nights, God knows its easier to deal with Two-Face when you know the lawyer lingo.
Tim, dragging Bruce off the side of the roof and then wiping his hands on his shirt: Yeah...Can't wait to tell him that I double majored in Business and accounting while he was lost in the time stream...
Jason, patting Tim on the shoulder and actually smiling at him for the first time: Tell me when you do because I wouldnt miss it for the world dude...maybe we can hang out a bit Replacement...you arnt so bad.
Tim, smiling back at Jason, ignoring the groans of pain from Bruce in the alley below: Yeah I would actually really like that! Maybe I could help you with your gangs taxes, god knows how many good crime syndicates get wiped out by the IRS, those bastards get them faster then we do!.
Jason, laughing: Yeah that would be helpful...shit I just remembered...
Tim raising an eyebrow: What? Forgot to file? I can help with that you-
Interrupting Tim, Jason held out a hand: No no...Bruce doesn't know about Damian yet...oh god he is going to lose it when he finds out...that little brat wants to be a doctor...if PHDs are evil then Doctorates are the devil...
You see, when Danny isnt focusing his attention on stopping baddies or hiding his identity from his parents, he does pretty well at school, now this wouldnt usally matter, as the as for mentioned stopping baddies and trying not to get gooped by his parents, had taken up all of his time recently, but with his parents finding out that he is indeed that ghost brat that has been fucking with their tech AND closing the damn portal that started all this mess?
He didnt mean but he somehow did so well that he got an invite to one of the most elite schools on the east coast.
Gotham Academy, aka, Gotham High, aka, the shining gem of the shit hole that is Gotham.
Now you see, Danny didn't want to go but...his parents forced his hand, Gotham had been one of the biggest ghost hotspots in the continental United States, they had wanted to go ghost busting so many times, but was stopped by this weird dude in a black costume each time.
(Danny still didnt know how his parents met Freaking Batman and didnt notice)
But now...Danny had a chanse to go, and no black bdsm freak to stop him! And he had ghost powers to boot!
So, before he had the chance to properly get an excuse why not to go, Danny was shipped off to New Jerseys and landed in the trash filled, crime ridden,murder capital of the world, Gotham City.
Now he was stuck, holding a sign with his name on it waiting for the host family of his sponsor ship to Gotham Academy to arrive...that is, if the Drakes even existed at all and this wasn't just an elaborate scheme to steal one or both of his kidneys.
(Jokes on them, Danny only has goop on the inside now...though some rando body snatchers might find out that he does only have goop inside and that causes a whole other problem for him...)
Distracted by his goopy insides, Danny didnt even realized that someone had walked up to him.
"Uh...You are Daniel Fenton right? Sir?" Blinking at first, Danny looked about, only to spot the top of a bit of hair, looking down slowly, Danny could only blink again as he sees the small form of what could only be an 11 year old with a rather unfortunate bowlcut.
"Okay...wow. I did not know your game Gotham, sending children to lure in children for organ snatching...Who's asking pipsqueak?"
The boy with the bowlcut smiles up at him, his eyes actually lighting up as he is talked to, "Oh wowzers! That's what Nightwing calls Robin! Pipsqueak! Did you know that Nightwing is exactly six foot and 3.15 inches?"
Finding himself at a loss of words once more, Danny takes a look around the now slowly thinning airport crowd, "Thats...strangly interesting...where's your parents? Are you a Drake?"
The boy swayed side to side for a moment, eyes looking up as he tried to remember, "I believe...Dad is currently in Papua New Guinea at a dig sight and...Mom is in Cairo examining a piece of pottery that had something big to do about her most recent paper, and Im Timmy Drake yeah! I came to pick you up since Mom and Dad were busy."
Danny should really have a bag or something for how often he is loosing his words, but he didnt on hand, so he could only stare at the newly named Timmy for a while, "Are...they coming back tonight or...wait how did you even get here??"
Timmy smiled brightly, "No, the next time th are scheduled to come back is next month, but they should have come home for my birthday in July, My birthday is July 19th by the way, but th didnt and said they had to take a rain check, which I didnt know what that ment so I did some research and-"
Holding out a finger, Danny held it to Timmys lips for a moment, shushing the boy effectively, "While I would actually know what that means, you're rambling kid...how did you get here why."
It was Timmys turn to blink before taking a step back and taking the finger from his lips, "I called a taxi and paid it with my allowance, Mrs Mac would do it but she couldn't so I did and and...I know how it feels to be all alone when my parents said they would come and didnt want that to happen to you."
Danny felt his goop ache at that, and he winced for a moment, "Well...thank you for that...um...why dont we flag a taxi down and take you home yeah? We are um...attracting a bit of attention."
Looking around them, Danny noticed a few lingering eyes on him and the squirt, some more dangerous looking that worried.
Timmy could only wave a hand at that, "Oh them? Nah their fine, Over there? That's Bob Jones, born in 97, his social security number ends in 1234, lost his job last may and he kidnapped me like last month, held me for a whole three days before giving up on my parents paying the ransom, makes pretty good Mac and cheese but adds too much pepper to it, I think its cus all the smoking his does killed his taste buds, at least what the Golden Girls said on that one episode I caught on TV that his mom was watching while I was there."
"That was one of, if not the most concerning things I have heard...in like ever. Oh god." Looking over at the newly names Bob Jones, Danny saw him glare at Danny before giving a small smile and wave at Tim, before making a stop motion to two other thug looking types.
"Thanks! But yeah we should get home, Mrs Mac might start trying to float through walls and get here if we take too much longer, if we end up late the wall will start bleeding again it i just got the stains out of the carpet again." Taking Danny's hand, Timmy started to drag the ghostly teen off and towards the exit of the airport.
"OH god what did I get my self into..." letting himself get dragged Danny wondered if it was too late to head back home...but no...he had to at least get this danger magnet of a kid back home...
Tim Drake says Fuck ICE
Bart also says FUCK ICE!!!!
i remembered i can draw whatever i want
Fourty year old Bruce, has been Batman for 20+ years and gone through it all: Really?
20 something, Absolute!Bruce kicking the dirt with his work boots: Jerk deserved it.
Jason, laying on the ground clutching his kidneys: W-when I can stand again...I-im going to...to shoot you in the balls...
OG!Bruce, rubbing the bridge of his nose: Jason why do you feel an increasingly growing need to antagonize each and every form of me? This one hasn't even been in this universe for more than ten minutes...you zeroed in on him like a homing missile...
Jason, slowly rolling onto his side to glare up at both Batmen: I smelt bitch ass poser and I tried to beat bitch ass poser's as-for-mentioned ass...at first it saw him as a threat since he is bigger than Bane and twice as thick...then I saw he looked like you and well...Babybat had a lot of fun trying to kill Timtam when he first arrived and thought I should get the jump on attempted murder on your new bastard...really B you need the Bats and the Cats talk again with how many kids you got...
Absolute!Bruce, giving Og!Bruce the side eye: Is...attempted murder...common between you guys??
Jason, speaking before Og!Bruce is able to: Yes, 100%. Its a tradition between Robins.
Og!Bruce, letting out the longest Dad sigh ever: I should have left you on the street where i found you.
Jason, coughing up a little blood from the kidney damage: But'cha didnt... fuck I need hobstable....
Og!Bruce looking at Absolute!Bruce, who shrugs: Bitch deserved it.