Etcetera

Digital performance art, I guess You can call me Ari, I am twenty-seven and I’m learning to love life more every day! Please forgive my lack of DNI, I’ll have one up asap

[oneapatheticwinter]

Don’t interact with me if you’re a TERF, okay, I’m a trans person, most of the people I love are trans people, I don’t have the spoons for your “gender critical” nonsense.

[higharollakockamamie]

MMORPG players in Westworld: people torture the NPCs because they're not real and nothing matters

Real MMORPG players in real games: for a while there was a rock with textures that didn't load in correctly so people made a pilgrimage to Smooth Rock

[willowmp4]

remembering squapes…

[reneelovesrobots]

[girlnumbers]

aauuauauuuhahauaauhahHh euehhgah gweyeyhhhhhahhh nnnhnmnggjannm

[aphrostiel]

my favorite spirk outfit <3

[ghsot]

everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month

[ghsot]

asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.

[itriedonce]

Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something

[ghsot]

oh my god youre right.

[transformativeworks]

[ID: Screenshot of a transcript.

Travis: Yeah. It well--but it's seventeen feet tall divided by twenty-four months means that every month he crafted point seven--so like about three-quarters of a foot. Right? So, nine inches. So yes, I could say that just statistically speaking, there was a wiener month.

Griffin: Okay. "So how was your September, Michelangelo?" "It was, it was intense."

/ID]

[r4spberry-vinaigrette]

@wario-speedwagon

[busket]

important that you never forgive ice agents, ever. even years after all this is over (and I do believe we will make it out on the other side, alive and for the better,) they live in shame and disgrace forever. no excuses, no forgiveness. they ruined their own lives when they decided that human freedom and liberty was an acceptable sacrifice for a paycheck

[brightlotusmoon]

[ortut]

Mette Vangsgaard - Green Fruit, 2020 (Handblown glass, glazed, ceramics and LED light)

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[json-derulo]

A few additional updates/clarifications:

Mr. Eternal Bluntshine of the Porkless Mind isn't the first idiosyncratic cryptid Partner has encountered at this particular Chipotle. He joins the illustrious ranks of The Lobster Mobster and 300 RPM Matthew McConaughey

Partner says he does not actually mind dealing with this unskippable cutscene every time because A) he finds it amusing and B) on one occasion, after Cool Earrings's intervention, the new employee checked him out at the register, and he rang up the bowl clearly labeled "CA-Q" (carnitas with queso) as chicken, which made it slightly cheaper

Some of my favorite possible explanations from the tags:

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[transarsonist]

happy 10 years of its quick, its easy, and its free

[you-have-startled-the-witch]

“i equip my trusty laser revolver. there’s basically no point in it being a revolver and not an automatic pistol except for the aesthetic. honestly it’s just really inconvenient to have only six shots of fuckin light energy at a time but it’s a labor of love for a space cowboy”

[thequantumqueer]

ok but consider: capacitors that recharge automatically but not instantly, so in the few seconds between each shot, you have 5 other capacitors to cycle through, leaving the first capacitor ready to fire again by the time it is again aligned with the lens assembly and trigger mechanism.

in that sense, the purpose of a laser revolver’s cylinder would be like the cylinder of a traditional ballistic revolver and more like a rotary barrel assembly (which is used to allow each barrel time to cool down before another round is fired through it, reducing wear-and-tear), though due to the fact that its direct function is to align the ordnance with the weapon assembly, it would still be considered a cylinder, making the weapon properly a revolver.

[lovesthesmarty]

Yes!  I want SCIENCE in my science fiction. Thank you.

[maykitz]

[birdbigbutch]

you stole dog blood

[vhs-dvd-comboplayer]

[shamebats]

My child, who spends their entire life being transfered from home to car to school and back, and is not allowed to leave the house or talk to anyone and can only in their wildest dreams imagine a life free from constant surveillance, is very sad. Obviously they're dumb and lazy, like all kids these days.

[whineandcheese24]

kind of a tangent but i recently went to a bowling alley with my friend i'm 19 he's 18 and the woman at the door didn't want to let us in because there was a sign saying under-18s needed adult supervision. everything got cleared up and we were able to go bowl, but i'm still so mad about the fact that kids need adult supervision to go to a bowling alley and arcade. like okay maybe young kids should have supervision but what do you mean middle and high schoolers need to hold mommy's hand while they play video games. kids aren't just addicted to their phones because phones are addicting, we're addicted to our phones because there's nothing else to fucking do

[shamebats]

I'm sure banning kids from online spaces while simultaneously not ensuring that they have access to offline spaces to socialize in (without having to rely on their parents who already don't have time for them) will help them feel better & less alienated from society.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[heinrichmey]

Dragon girl Orihime, orange and warm. She actually could have been a dragon.

[wizardarchetypes]

as we see reprisals of Y2K skinny culture (as part of fascism) people are making a lot of posts like ‘if you’re too young to remember, it was so toxic. people shamed [skinny woman] for being fat!’ and perhaps it’s useful to bring up someone like kate winslet circa 1999 being fatshamed to express how truly dire the situation was/is but i find it increasingly frustrating that the response seems by and large to be ‘wow that’s awful! she wasn’t even fat!’ [so clearly that was wrong!] and not the real point: ‘so imagine how horrible it was for actual fat people, who also don’t deserve the far worse treatment they got/get.’

[wizardarchetypes]

tl:dr if your response to fatphobic bullying/harrassment is “but they’re not even fat,” you have not gotten to the core issue. you haven’t even considered the core issue.

[wizardarchetypes]

lots of people in the tags pointing out the same thing about transphobia and especially transmisogyny where instead of centering trans women in conversations about transmisogyny, it turns into defending cis women who are mistaken for trans women like “and she’s not even trans!” instead of saying “we shouldn’t treat trans women that way.” you’re not derailing you’re 100% correct

[what-even-is-thiss]

I turned off reblogs on that post because nobody seems to understand what I’m going for

[what-even-is-thiss]

There’s people with pointed ears and/or blue skin and/or alien looking bumps implanted in their skulls who live among us every day. My point is that if there was a human-ish looking alien or an elf or something living among us that they wouldn’t get pulled off the street and experimented on because fucking real people live their lives looking like that every day.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’m also not interested in listening to Europeans and Australians lecturing me about what’s going on in my own country right now. I love y’all but I’m joking about elves getting experimented on to forget about all that for a second.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Like.

[catgirl-metronome]

Yesterday I finally read "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" and holy shit. I think it's my favorite piece of short fiction ever. My girlfriend and I spent four hours doing a close reading of it and poring over the details (and it was one of the best dates I've ever had).

It has everything. It's a beautiful tone poem about gender. It's a scifi short story about how fucked up it would be if the government could fuck with the parts of your brain pertaining to identity. It's a dystopian work about climate change and the US military industrial complex. It's a scathing indictment of a particular flavor of queer person who will proudly champion lgbt rights but whose activism stops before challenging capitalism and imperialism. It has an utterly sexless passage about sex, followed immediately by a multi-page action scene about piloting a helicopter and working in effortless tandem with your perfect counterpart to shoot down a missile and escape danger which drips with more eroticism than your average literotica story could dream of mustering. It's an emotional and character driven story about a married couple breaking up when one of them decides to transition.

It's really really good and if you haven't read it, you really have got to. I've been mad about what happened to Isabel Fall since I learned about it, but I'm so much madder now. I have no respect whatsoever for the so-called "critics" who decried it when it came out. From the very first moment, it's so very obviously written by a trans woman with so many interesting thoughts and feelings about gender, that in order to miss it you either have to have not read the story at all, or else you would require such a myopic and surface-level view of gender along with such a lack of reading ability and imagination that I simply would not trust any of your literary opinions at all.