i havent found myself yet. i dont know who i am, or who i want to be. im still looking. (look with me?)
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asks and messages are always open!! i volunteer as That Random Person to rant to about anything at all, happy or sad, complicated or simple. just come find me and i'll be here for ya
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hi guys uh.. my name is lemon and this is my little corner of the internet!! grab a cushion and a drink to settle down, or pass through and get to wherever youre headed (if there is a destination in mind at all).
more under cut!!
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✧ sixteen
✧ ace
✧ aro-spec/cupioromantic (im figuring things out)
✧ enfp-t if you believe in these things
✧ love language: physical touch
✧ languages: english and mandarin chinese if i try really really hard
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currently infatuated with:
✦ tgcf
✦ mdzs
✦ woh
✦ marauders
✦ skz
✦ f1
✦ marvel (but bucky barnes in particular)
✦ musicals (hamilton, six, epic!)
✦ c-dramas (ding yuxi ily)
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hobbies include:
✧ looking at pictures of sharks
✧ finding pretty words in a pretty order
✧ blasting music in headphones and staring into space
✧ daydreaming about love
✧ watching sunsets
✧ looking at the stars and thinking
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what you'll find here:
✦ posts and reblogs surrounding my infatuations
✦ random thoughts that i would like to shout into an abyss (not available) so i write them down instead
✦ a friend (me)
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the vibes i (aspire to) bring to the function:
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➸ desperately trying to replicate the aesthetic tumblr pins saved to my pinterest boards but the fanarts and fan snippets are calling my name
➸ i swing wildly between being silly and drowning in emotions
➸ often on here when im supposed to be asleep but life is full of disappointments (im life)
➸ if given the chance i will make picrew and random uquiz results my entire personality
➸ always secretly panicking about not having my life planned out
➸ tea >>> coffee
➸ partially made of song lyrics i think
➸ scared of the unknown (but really, who isn't?)
➸ cant tag properly oops
➸ known for: filling my head with so many thoughts they overflow (as words or tears dependent on mood, time and the weather)
➸ scribbled down as an afterthought at 1:27am
➸ i can be funny i promise
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♫ now playing: corduary dreams by Rex Orange Country
♫ [ spotify link: here ]
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rules:
✧ please be nice
✧ no yelling angrily at each other (or at me)
✧ okay thats it have fun
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current projects:
✦ journaling/scrapbooking
✦ reading more (book recs? fic recs? send them my way!!)
fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle
its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"
What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?
When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.
when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil
“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know
Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went "wow, it has a reblog already?" And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.
I find it so interesting that time and time again Jun Wu never considered other peoples kindness and how that foiled all his plans.
Like originally he wanted Xie Lian to fall apart and break like him but Wu Ming was there to be sure he wasn’t alone and to take on all that resentment.
The man with the bamboo hat was there making sure Xie Lian remember that people can be kind.
Like even 800 years later after Jun Wu failed he tries to cause rifts for Xie Lian so that he has no one and becomes isolated and hopefully insane like him.
Except Pei Ming who would have lied and manipulated the situation doesn’t blame Xie Lian for figuring everything out, he knows it wasn’t personal and he’s able to work with him later despite Jun Wu constantly pitting them against each other.
Shi Wudu is the strongest elemental master and while he didn’t ever warm to Xie Lian, Shi Qingxuan did and they loved him for who he was. They always came to Xie Lian defence to give him backing in heaven because they were friends. (Which honestly might be why the Shi Wudu plot was revealed starting the Black Water Arc.) then even after leaving heaven and Xie Lian losing a popular gods backing. Shi Qingxuan is kind and doesn’t hold a grudge and even when they have nothing and can’t be an ally in heaven they still care about Xie Lian and help him when they are literally crippled and mortal.
Ling Wen is shrewd and could have been a very strong antagonist against Xie Lian except he was always polite and kind to her and she respects that. She has no real desire to do him harm outside of protecting herself and doesn’t really consider him an enemy in any way.
Lang Qianqiu should have turned against him and all of the heavens against too except he only wants the truth. He hears the whole story and immediately clears Xie Lians name and makes sure the heavens know it was Qi Rong so Xie Lian can’t be banished again.
He pairs Xie Lian with Quan Yizhen a god known for being confrontational and picking fights except Xie Lian was kind to him and that makes him a for lifer in Quan Yizhen’s mind he literally wouldn’t turn against him or even think about it because Xie Lian proved himself to be a good person and that’s all Quan Yizhen needs to like you.
Yushi Huang happily tried to help Xie Lian with the drought and gives him her spiritual device as a show of kindness. Then she helps him hide Banyue, helps in Tonglu and helps Hua Cheng infiltrate Heaven because she’s a kind woman who gave up her life for her people and understands Xie Lian is the same.
Jun Wu assumes this whole time that Feng Xin and Mu Qing would be resentful because that’s what happened to him with his friends except Feng Xin and Mu Qing are insane and deranged and just want Xie Lian to be their friend again so they make little disguises to help all the time and take some of the scrutiny of Xie Lian because they were there too. Feng Xin pays of Xie Lians huge debt to smooth things over for him with the other Gods. When Xie Lian is “kidnapped” they follow him to get him back immediately because hey wait that’s our friend. Jun Wu tries to bring suspicion between them by making them assume the worst about each other but Mu Qing literally takes a shackle over betrayal. Then both of them go to Mount Tonglu to protect Xie Lian and begin to mend their friendship because that’s how they roll.
And of course we have Hua Cheng who is Wu Ming that constant loyal thorn in Jun Wu’s side because through all of these events he is with Xie Lian. He offers comfort and support and insures that Xie Lian never even begins to spiral down the same dark path by helping him in every situation, acting as a buffer and a confidant and reminding Xie Lian he isn’t alone and he will be there loving Xie Lian more than Jun Wu could ever hate him.
There’s probably more instances but I just love how this all kinda plays out like yes Xie Lian is truly kind and hopeful and that’s why he’ll never fully be Bai Wuxiang anyway but other people are kind too! There is so much more to people than Jun Wu expects and that’s why his plan is foiled over and over again. Not by smarts or by fighting but by simple human kindness and compassion.
Considering the fact he’s set up to be like an antagonist force in the Heavens for Xie Lian Pei Ming is such a wild side character like:
He’s probably aromantic
He’s older than Xie Lian by maybe 5 years maybe 100s it’s really vague
He is constantly following his dick into places I wouldn’t go with a gun
He isn’t actually antagonistic to Xie Lian at all despite all the behind the scenes manipulation trying to make that happen
Him and Xie Lian share custody of a 250 year old war criminal
He’s the text book example of why “I was just following orders” is really fucking bad
He has an incredibly strong sense of justice
He’s best friends with the most evil woman and second most evil man in heaven for most of the novel
He’s genuinely a good person
He’s so charismatic his best friend/situation-ship tried to make him king without asking him
He’s so distraught about what happened with The Rain Master he runs away from her for +800 years of existence
He’s a slut
He’s a Hualian shipper
Despite being probably the third strongest Martial God in the series he spends all of Mount Tonglu with a broken elbow and being comic relief
He genuinely believes he and Hua Cheng are buds
He somehow didn’t have any children so instead he tries to trust fund kid his 17 times great grand nephew who was raised by the most humble man ever and can’t work out why the kid won’t let him buy his way out of jail
He wants to talk to Xie Lian about his sex life
He spends most of the last book being depressed that one of his best friends is dead and another is on the run
People pray to him for long lasting relationships
A yandre ghost is trying to kill him
Jun Wu was actively running a smear campaign against him the entire time
He was part of the magical girl sword
He’s the slut of the heavens
He is both so tried and living by the motto fuck it we ball
He’s the only other man Xie Lian finds handsome
He was the first person to realise E’Ming was a boner metaphor
He’s scared of the bull man who hates him
He is probably going to be the next heavenly emperor since Xie Lian doesn’t want that shit
He’s the only martial god who genuinely likes and respects Ling Wen until Xie Lian shows up
accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem
has anyone noticed that after the porn ban of 2018 tumblr was essentially killed from the mainstream and everyone flocked to other social media sites like twitter and meta. then those sites got enshittified to where twitter became Nazi Central and meta sites had an entire meme around getting “zucced” aka mark zuckerberg himself would ban you for saying a no-no word like fuck. and then the mainstream shifted to tiktok where infamous toddlerspeak sentences like “he got unalived by a pew pew” were born because if you once again say a no-no word like kill or gun or any other word that isn’t corporate i mean kid friendly then the algorithm will bury your post into the ground. and somehow we’ve come full circle and tumblr is now the most bearable social media site because although we can’t have female presenting nipples we can at least talk to each other like adults. has anyone noticed that at all or is it just me and the flaming skull
no thoughts lol @onesingularbraincell - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
