I'm only sleeping.

I'm Johnnie

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

New cut, new aesthetic. Actively job hunting!

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

me, to the beat of hotline bling: ba ba haba gada ga, haba gada ba daga

[vhord]

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

15 year olds: I am so wise beyond my years... growing up is so *sniffles* tragic....I understand pain

20 year olds: what the fuck is happening

[e-motionality]

[improv-is-easy]

I told Miyazaki I love the “gratuitous motion” in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are. “We have a word for that in Japanese,” he said. “It’s called ma. Emptiness. It’s there intentionally.” Is that like the “pillow words” that separate phrases in Japanese poetry? “I don’t think it’s like the pillow word.” He clapped his hands three or four times. “The time in between my clapping is ma. If you just have non-stop action with no breathing space at all, it’s just busyness, But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension. If you just have constant tension at 80 degrees all the time you just get numb.”

Roger Ebert, on Hayao Miyazaki (via moonbrains)

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

I don't even understand what I'm doing wrong at this point.

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

I think I'm going to be okay... Just had a bad episode last night. No one checked on me, but whatever.

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

I find myself almost in tears, crying scared and sad

I feel so suicidal and I’ll start arguments and debates just so people will talk to me. I’m secluded and alone and I have no friends and I think about killing myself but I’m so afraid of dying.

Someone please help me I know I’m so fucking pathetic I’m begging for help at this point I want to give up sometimes and I can’t handle being who I am anymore. I just wish I one person would see value in me. Just one person would take the time to talk to me and understand.

When I look in the mirror I’m afraid, not unsatisfied, but scared. This isn’t who I am, this isn’t what I want to be, I’m a mutilated ghost.

I need help, people are terrifying and no one wants to share my company. I’m scared and I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing and I need to vent this I’m sorry. I just don’t want to be sorry and I don’t want to cry and I don’t want just pity I just want a friend or just someone to talk to. I can’t take this alone anymore.

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

My sadness lately feels like

Infinite sadness. No hope. Empty pack of cigarettes, I too am a lighter without fuel Beer and meat rotting in putrid juices, know what's worse? An empty stomach bathe in cyanide. Feel the ulcers eat away at your organs as your fester and die inside. Beyond gone. Beyond hope. Beyond help. I die a little more and more each day, nothing can restore my faith in what was once a necessity. Words now like blankets suffocate me as I burn to death in pageless deserts of scorching sun Not even the vultures feed on my carcass, the sound blown around me I am forever cursed with the mark of failure. I can only feed my interests with different ways to divide my own existence Torn into panels of the everyday I entertain the empty mind of scholars illiterate in blood There is no bond in which I am bound, atoms decompose into spaceships and lightning All around me is the shadow that carries my doubt and calls it my epitaph Hoisted up by sorrow I am gone to the wind from which I have flown Enter the abyss, fearful that emotions will never find my body Left into the night I reach for ahold of myself and who I once was What has already rotted away and left me for dead, forbidden to be helped or relieved of my stone chains Bound by the promises only made by arthritic movements and tinnitus Across my heart and jump hoping to fly

[onlydreamingxonlysleeping]

In a world without mirrors or reflections, we know not what we appear to be, merely acting out what others claim to see.

[ibringmotivation]

I can relate to this in so many levels

[digitalpixie36]

[red-lipstick]