Spidey-Boy Central

side blog ~ 22 ~ they/she/he (no preference) ~ making my Spider-Man obsession everyone else’s problem

[oscorp-lawsuit]

I feel like I haven’t seen anyone mention how skinny Miles G looks in his Prowler outfit? Cuz he’s lanky the first time we see him. Like when he swings down from the rafters in Aaron’s apartment and lands in front of Miles, he is positively drowning in those clothes. It probably helps him slip in and out of crime scenes easily, but he is a twig.

Miles probably escapes from the punching bag at the beginning of BTSV, thinking they’re going to be the same size, but when he lands on the floor, he’s like several inches taller and built like a truck in comparison. Meanwhile, Miles G needs to work out six times a week just to maintain his already small amount of muscles because no amount of puberty and powerlifting can make up for Miles’ superpowers. He must be jealous af

Miles G: What’s your rep count?

Miles: Rep? What do you mean?

Miles G: Your workout regimen.

Miles: Oh! I don’t work out, actually. I just naturally look like this. Gotta love those spider genes :)

Miles G: oh :) okay :)

*hours later*

Miles G: (tearing Aaron’s punching bag to shreds) DOESN’T WORK OUT??

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Jefferson Davis being the kind of dad that joins the PTA and bakes lemon bars because he’s not just a father that puts pressure on his son then stays absent from his schooling, but instead he goes above and beyond to continue being involved by attending extra counseling meetings with his wife and networking with other parents and carving time out of his busy schedule to support his son in more ways than one despite the fact that these tasks are generally pushed onto moms is EXACTLY the kind of characterization I wanted from this movie. THANK YOU ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Several thoughts come to mind when I see the concept art of Johnathan having tattoos before he became the Spot:

He must be so pissed his tattoos are gone. Those cost a lot of money.

Has he tried to get his tattoos back? Has he gone to his tattoo artist and tried to have them redone, but the needle accidentally just went straight through him?

Could he hypothetically just make them again on his skin by shaping his holes into his tattoo designs?

Is there a parallel between having tattoos and having holes? Does he see his tattoos in the same way he describes his holes midway through the film? Filling his emptiness with more “holes” or tattoos?

What kind of tattoos did he have? (I know it’s concept art so it’s not super detailed, but the one on his right arm looks a lot like holes.)

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Headcanon that after BTSV, whenever Miles is in the middle of a fight and can’t make it to Spanish class, Miles G will take his place. Miles now has an A in his class, but he also has two detentions for talking back.

Miles: Hey, sorry you had to take that pop quiz. I had no idea.

Miles G: No worries, you got an A.

Miles: Thanks!

Miles G: Also, you have a meeting with the vice principal tomorrow morning.

Miles: Excuse me?

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Headcanon that all spider people get what’s called the “Spider-Zoomies” (which is a sudden burst of energy but it’s expressed through Spider-like behavior) except for Miguel because he didn’t get bitten, so every time he makes the mistake of going to HQ in the middle of the night, he gets jump scared by at least one Spider-Man:

Scuttling across the ceiling (Pavitr)

Hissing into the void (Miles)

Bench pressing a building (Peter B)

Jumping fifty feet into the air without warning (Margo)

Building some intricate contraption in complete darkness (Hobie, emphasis on trap)

Running extremely fast without making a sound so you don’t know they’re there until it’s too late (wtf Mayday)

Or crouching into a corner, completely still like a predator watching its prey, and the moment he gets close to them, they whisper “Hey” making him scream so loud that he throws his empanadas in their face (Gwen)

It’s essentially like you’re walking through a building full of eldritch horrors, and you don’t know where any of them are, but they all know exactly where you are, and they win bonus points if they scare the shit out of you. Miguel hates it here.

[oscorp-lawsuit]

*Miles popping into Earth-42*

Miles: Hey dude! I’m kind of in the middle of a big fight right now with some enhanced villains. Wanna hop over and punch them really hard? Come on, I know you wanna punch them really hard.

Miles G: (drops the thug he was threatening) Yeah sure.

*an hour later on Earth-1610*

Miles: (throwing Rhino over to Miles G like he weighs nothing) BATTER UP

Miles G: (laughing maniacally as he punches him into the sun with his Prowler gauntlet)

Gwen, Pavitr, and Peter B: Well, at least they’re having fun.

[oscorp-lawsuit]

The voice modulator on Miles G’s prowler mask is a direct parallel to Miles dropping his voice low when he’s talking to his dad as Spider-Man, and I will take no criticism. He is trying to be a big mature adult criminal so bad. Please let him go hug Miles’ dad.

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Theory that Miles G dropped out of Visions Academy because he never got bitten by the spider and so continued not believing in himself just like Miles didn’t in the beginning of ITSV, and that’s what led him to abandoning his academic dreams and becoming the Prowler

[oscorp-lawsuit]

*Miles, Gwen, and Pavitr causing mayhem in HQ*

Miguel: Hey! I thought I told you to stop running around without adult supervision.

Hobie: ‘Sup

Miguel: NO

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Peter: Iron Man is the coolest Avenger.

Flash: God, Parker. You always have such horrible taste. The coolest Avenger is obviously Spider-Man. What’s wrong with you?

Peter:

Peter: I couldn’t even begin to respond to that right now.

[oscorp-lawsuit]

The Adventures of Spiderling (SMAU)

Tony is alive and retired. Peter’s identity never got revealed. The kiddies are high school seniors.

Enjoy :)

[oscorp-lawsuit]

I think it’s really funny seeing those Twitter AU’s where the author portrays Tony as just like so suave and casual online even when he’s interacting with Gen Z kids even tho it should really be the opposite.

His TRUE final form is Trophy Husband Who No Longer Understands The Internet But Insists He Is Still Cool And Hip

So an accurate Twitter au would be Tony embodying “How do you do, fellow kids?” and throwing a tantrum when someone calls him old.

“I’m a tech genius, Peter! That makes me cool and hip. Tell Pepper I’m cool and hip. Peter, stop laughing.”

And Peter has just resigned himself to patting Tony on the back like “Yes, Mr. Stark. You are very cool and hip. Please never say cash money again.”

[oscorp-lawsuit]

I have received *squints* five notes and therefore will now post an au because I have no regard for my personal time

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad

Peter: “Hey, dad?”

Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-

Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”

Peter:

Peter, tearing up: “Um-”

[oscorp-lawsuit]

I think it’s really funny seeing those Twitter AU’s where the author portrays Tony as just like so suave and casual online even when he’s interacting with Gen Z kids even tho it should really be the opposite.

His TRUE final form is Trophy Husband Who No Longer Understands The Internet But Insists He Is Still Cool And Hip

So an accurate Twitter au would be Tony embodying “How do you do, fellow kids?” and throwing a tantrum when someone calls him old.

“I’m a tech genius, Peter! That makes me cool and hip. Tell Pepper I’m cool and hip. Peter, stop laughing.”

And Peter has just resigned himself to patting Tony on the back like “Yes, Mr. Stark. You are very cool and hip. Please never say cash money again.”

[mo-mode]

Consider: I smush the batfamily together with Tony and Peter, but instead of Tony and Bruce hating each other or being long lost relatives or whatever, their adoption instincts kick in.

Tony wants to adopt a 28yo Bruce. (Oh my god another orphaned science genius.) Bruce wants to adopt a 15yo Peter. (Oh my god another feral acrobat child.) Peter just vibes with Dick for a bit in the background, blow something up, etc. Pepper and Alfred have tea.

I just like the visual of Tony seeing a big brooding Batman (even MORE points if it’s Battinson) and going “baby, he is my baby now” and Bruce being slightly (very) offended

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Pepper: Tony, why do you keep ignoring lab safety protocol when it always ends in some sort of explosion or OSHA violation?

Tony: Well, Pep, some of the greatest scientific discoveries were made by ignoring lab safety protocol. Besides, Tony backwards spells “Y Not” so it’s really in my namesake.

Pepper:

Pepper: Did Peter give you that one?

Tony: Yes, he did.

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Tony: makes a joke belittling himself

Peter: “Ah! No self-depreciation. Put another hundred in the jar.”

Tony: grumbles to himself as he shoved a $100 bill into a jar labeled “Mr. Stark’s Self Love Bank <3”