#incorrect peter parker quotes

[incorrectpeterparker]

Tony: And what do we say when life disappoints us?

Peter: Called it.

Tony: No.

[1luna1lovegood1]

Peter: *does something stupid*

Bucky : ( who dare dared him to do said stupid thing ) what an absolute fucking idiot

Tony: ( came into the room as Peter started do the dare) I can't believe I'd die for him

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Tony: Sometimes I think you were bred in a lab to help people.

Peter: You know what else they bred in a lab?

Tony: Steve.

Peter: I was gonna say pugs…

[oscorp-lawsuit]

Headcanon that when Peter accidentally calls Tony dad for the first time, he immediately freaks out over his slip-up (as usual) but Tony is running on like -20 hours of sleep and doesn’t even notice the mistake but he responds to it so suddenly Peter spirals into ANOTHER crisis because does that mean Tony thinks of Peter as his son, or did he just not hear him right? And now he doesn’t know how to bring it up without outing the fact that he wants Mr. Stark to be his dad

Peter: “Hey, dad?”

Peter, internally: Wait, shit shit! Why did I say that? I can’t call Mr. Stark DAD. That’s so creepy-

Tony, dead on his feet and hearing colors: “Yeah, Pete?”

Peter:

Peter, tearing up: “Um-”

[incorrectgwenstacy]

Miles: If I run and leap at Peter, he will 100% catch me in his arms.

Peter B, entering while holding a cup of coffee: Hey, what’s up?

Miles: *runs towards him at full speed before jumping*

Peter B: Wait, my coffee!

Peter B: *drops the coffee to catch Miles*

[underoooos]

The Avengers: What's the definition of "innocent"?

Tony, pointing at Peter and using Peter's hand to wave at them: Right here!

Peter: *grimaces as the Avengers awkwardly wave back*

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

Y/N: *clearly annoyed*

Peter: what’s wrong?

Peter: is it because my shoes light up and yours don’t?

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: when you ask for someone's name, you're essentially asking them what noise you should make to get their attention

Tony: Kid, what the fuck?

Harley: we should ditch names. You can get my attention by making the squeal of a bat bathing in cranberry juice on the night of a full moon.

Tony: ...

Peter: *viciously squeaks*

Harley: yes?

Peter: you wanna get pizza?

Harley: absolutely