Untitled

[chongoblog]

Haters be like

“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”

[hexea]

Idk if I did it right

[chongoblog]

sorry!

[c0rpseductor]

it’s true you can’t draw one continuous line that would do the trick. but if the kitty and bunny set out by going through the doors they’re marked beside and each walked the certain way their colored arrows show at the same time their “collective path” as a team would go through each door only once. The moral of the story is actually about friendship , and cooperation, because in this world there are tasks you can’t do on your own.

im just fucking with you i’m pretty sure this has no right answer

[2pacula]

i concocted a solution with a 100% mortality rate

[chongoblog]

Stop being so incredibly funny on my impossible puzzle post

[sharkiethedork]

You can switch the tracks so the trolley will kill one person, or you can allow it to attempt the fruitless crusade of running over each person in the maze only once.

[catgirldick]

all in a days work! *passes out*

[kittybunprincess]

My indecisive butt, walking in and being faced with having to make a decision, immediately leaving

[pixiecatsupreme]

oOoOoooo I’m a ghost!

[kipplekipple]

Fire

[jo3mm]

dude my house

[tahthetrickster]

[sassychaostrash]

This is the best addition everyone go home

[7cxrhye]

[cat-source]

[just-positivity-stuff]

[mypatchworkreflection]

These are suggested for serving to recovering alcoholics, but I think they’re just fun and cool anyway? I like a fancy beverage, it doesn’t have to have booze. That cucumber Collins sounds refreshing AF

[shinyhappygoth]

And children! Children love a fancy drink! Let them be included!

[prokopetz]

Twelve essential dungeon-crawling fantasy monsters:

Big and dumb

Small but there's lots of them

Tentacles don't go there

Evil horse

The author's been reading Wikipedia articles about mushrooms

Eye

Child you're allowed to punch

Dude that looks like another dude

Hostile architecture

Allegory for capitalism

Uncomfortable implications

Steve

[a-list-of-moods]

despite what popular opinion may lead you to believe, some rocks actually do have scientifically-proven auras! Unfortunately, those rocks are uranium and the aura is cancer. 

[clatterbane]

[contradictory-yet-useful]

Though rock auras are rare, rock magic is common. The most common form of rock magic is Concussion.

[radishnt]

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

[mothman-misato]

y- you were putting it in cold water?????

[boimgfrog]

Radish. Answer the question radish.

[radishnt]

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

[boimgfrog]

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

[catsnraincoats]

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

[boimgfrog]

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

[catsnraincoats]

Its takes less than a minute

[boimgfrog]

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

[catsnraincoats]

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

[boimgfrog]

Like seven minutes

[catsnraincoats]

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

[boimgfrog]

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted

[pidoop]

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

[silverjirachi]

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

[wizardlyghost]

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS'N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS'N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

[elodieunderglass]

[dustyxoverture]

I’m sorry but the THOUGHT that has been put into this, I actually CAN’T—

The fact that nearly every line is so metrically considered- near perfect iambic pentameter witb the occasional trochee for emphasis, but usually retaining a strong sense of rhythm nonetheless. And then the king comes in at the end, so wound in his disbelief that his response is reduced to prose.

And the even better thing about this is how easy it would have been to structure the king’s line into iambic pentameter: it is effectively already said as such because of the way wizardlyghost has phrased it, yet they haven’t!! They did not break the line, rendering what, by all typically of both Shakespearean canon and other periods context should be the character with the most command and authority in the whole play. If there was ever a more effective way to convey a genuine “what the fuck??”, I know of it not.

But it gets better!! Shakespeare regularly uses meter in order to represent class divide; the nobility usually speak in iambic pentameter, save for a few particularly chosen moments (e.g. Lady Macbeth’s descent into madness, Othello’s realisation of Desdemona’s “betrayal”) or just lines where Shakespeare needs to suggest high emotion or when a character is lost in thought. Supernatural characters like the fairies in A Midsummer Night’s Dream and the Witches in Macbeth usually speak in trochaic tetrameter, an inversion of iambic pentameter. Lower class characters, particularly those used for comic relief (usually under the influence of alcohol), speak with no structure at all: their language is plain prose. Therefore, if this is a conversation between these types of characters, as the prompt from silvergirachi suggests, why the hell are the characters speaking so eloquently???

Now, this is Tumblr. It is subsequently logical to assume that this may have merely been a humorous recreation (and a very good one at that) of the Shakespearean style in a way that is widely recognisable to an audience that may or may not have read a great deal of Shakespeare, which is understandable. However, logic is boring so I’m going to probe further into this to the point where future historians will look to this as an example of overanalysing.

The inherent eloquence of the characters here suggests an unusual subversion of the roles typically assumed in Shakespearean comedy. This could be interpreted along two major avenues: firstly, that the rhetoric displayed by the speakers is fundamentally representative of how truth can be expected even from the most seemingly pointless or ludicrous discussions. Furthermore, it could suggest that it matters not how well constructed your speeches are: if you talk bullshit, it’s going to sound that way despite your attempts to hide it.

This is similar but not identical to the second avenue of interpretation: there is the implication that the noblemen in the play are in fact the comic relief characters, therefore implying that the “common people” of the play are the ones whose influence, though not expressed in such a highly spoken manner, makes a lot more sense than whatever the hell this is. If this was a real Shakespeare play, I would call it a subtle exploration into the innate corruption of the rich and powerful. Well done, op.

Now, I doubt any of this is actually grounded analysis in any way, shape or form, but if someone else can take this to the extremes of writing a Shakespearean scene, why can I not analyse it as such? And where else to do so than Tumblr?

[wizardlyghost]

im in tears i didnt think anyone would put this much analysis into this‚ thank you so much

[whetstonefires]

i also like that everyone else gets a version of their handle and then tumblr user pidoop is promoted to king

[writethebirds]

[sandersstudies]

You can literally make anything and anyone problematic if you try hard enough seriously give me people and things and I’ll make them all “problematic” right now.

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Dogs.

[sandersstudies]

I don’t even have to do this one because PETA did it first by insinuating domestication is inherently abusive.

[rinofwater]

The sky

[sandersstudies]

Used to trick and mock anyone who asks “what’s up?” A bullying tactic.

[roman-flair-deactivated20190203]

Super Mario Bros.

[sandersstudies]

Stereotypes Italians, enforces the narrative of women who need men to rescue them, and encourages violence against turtles.

[shuouichi]

John Mulaney

[sandersstudies]

He was over on the bench and he SAW what they did to Tyler and he did NOTHING.

[starryvioletnight]

Omfg

[fainsworld]

Pokemon

[sandersstudies]

Making your pets fight repeatedly is animal abuse.

[everwizard]

OP

[sandersstudies]

OP literally argued that dogs were problematic but go off I guess

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

This is a work of art and should be sent to everyone as soon as they sign up for Tumblr so they know what they’re walking into

[kinsey3furry300]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[syn4k]

burning text gif maker

heart locket gif maker

minecraft advancement maker

minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags

windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)

FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)

image to 3d effect gif

vaporwave image generator

microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)

you're welcome

[mmelete]

[casioaty]

Well if the shoe fish

[otiksimr]

Poorly drawn Natu line

[otiksimr]

Poorly drawn Mareep line

[gem1ny]

no context behind this painting.

[nowyoukno]

[fangirling-so-hard-rn]

Crows are scary They

use tools

Can be taught to speak (like parrots)

Have huge brains for birds

like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee

They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things

they are scary smart at solving puzzles

some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies

they can remember faces

SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.

They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q) 

[doctormemelordmd]

Yeah but have you seen this 

[stultiloquentia]

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

[warwyrd-deactivated20170724]

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

[reallymisscoffee]

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

[ruggie-bucchis]

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

[avianawareness]

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

[odpixel]

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

[lilith-knight]

Best birbs !!

[221cbakerstreet]

your son is Beautiful and Strong

[solitarelee]

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

[betheothergirl-deactivated20180]

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.

As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. 

[blackwoolncrown]

!!!!

[birbiebabies]

I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.

[gaymerlvl-pharmercy]

He’s so handsome!!

[witchofthegermanforest]

I would trust a crow with my life

[tea-leaves-and-cheeze]

This is your regularly scheduled crow appreciation post

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

many east indians respect crows and lowkey worship them and now i know why :)

[dzamie]

fucking superb you funky little death omens

[thatshirleylee]

Damn now I want a crow

[my-beloved-fandoms]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[the-weight-of-wax-sins]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[alll-panic-no-disco]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[i-deep-fried-a-horse]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[totally-a-chicken-deactivated20]

bok bok

[paintedcrows]

They do this every year...

Happy 25th to Dipdop and Lebam!! and Happy 17th to Hatsune Miku!! 🎉🎉

(Bonus: The M&M stands for...)

[pansyfemme]

i don't think youtubers should be allowed to advertise online therapy or credit cards or prescription hair loss treatments. can you sell me a candy bar or something

[whitebisexual]

just witnessed a girl spot her friend in the grocery store and instead of calling her over she started making turkey noises. and her friend, who apparently recognized her call, responded with higher pitched turkey noises before she even saw her and they used turkey echolocation to find each other. friendship between girls is a beautiful thing <3

[whitebisexual]

these were grown women in their late 30's-early 40's btw. never let aging make you lose your whimsy (or your turkey calls)

[madebeliever]