Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,
As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;
But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;
Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.
Sade Olutola
🪼

Kiana Khansmith
One Nice Bug Per Day

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roma★
Cosmic Funnies
Show & Tell
Not today Justin
almost home
taylor price
d e v o n

tannertan36
we're not kids anymore.

Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
sheepfilms
Jules of Nature
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Game of Thrones Daily
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@pctato
Two fair men lie in water warm and slow,
As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;
But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;
Lest that be thought, they sit five feet apart.
things to look for in a man: 1. jake 2. peralta 3. jake peralta
Not to steal Jake’s thunder, but let’s look at the amazing role models in his life:
These two men are incredible people and wonderful influences, so in conclusion, every young man should look to Captain Raymond Holt and Sergeant Terry Jeffords as a model of what it means to be a strong, good man.
UM EXCUSE ME THOS E ARE FUCKING PIXELS HOW
Seize the Day was a calendar program made by in 1994 by Buena Vista software. It features graphics that at the time, were revolutionary because of the way they handled color cycling. These images were static bitmaps, but by changing color values, they appear animated. What is also impressive about these images is that they had full day night cycles built in, rendered also through color cycling. A few years ago, a html5 version was made. A copy was uncovered online and there is a way to use the program through DOSbox. As well, one of the original programmers for the project, Iam Gilman, has thought of the idea of remaking it, open sourced, for modern machines.
thanks for writing a more elaborate explanation. i’ve seen these pictures be spread like wildfire without mention of the technology behind it.
but i believe aang can save the world
The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS
1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.
2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.
3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.
4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again
5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out
6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead
7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard
8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.
9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals
10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks
11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped
12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home
13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.
14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near
15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again
16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds
Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking
I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else
Me: dont fuckin boss me around!!!!!
Someone I Find Attractive: *tells me what to do in a semi-stern voice*
Me:
You got this Auntie
Wooooow she is stunning.
grapes have now officially been renamed to moist orbs thank you for listening
20/8/2018
did you… did you create this blog only for this post
everyone’s gotta start somewhere, man
hey lesbians what’s the typical “straight guy” thing u do that u pull off way better than any man? personally i’m a hot jock who manspreads when she sits and sleeps in boxers
Loving and caring for women
Hello, 911? I just witnessed a murder.
it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence
did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine
basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now (allegedly) belongs to.
then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.
additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.
Rasputin was an old god from times before humans
He is like a cleric gone wild
she femaled femininely across the room, her breasts breasting breastily. her jeans were tighter than my asshole
Which ed sheeran song is this
There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs
This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose
I’m not ready to be a single mom
I know shit about reptiles
I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth
Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer
Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care
I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?
70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??
You a mom now
Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”
I’m gonna fistfight nature
@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow
I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??
I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out
YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA
DAMN IT SHARRON
First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this
Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??
UPDATE
SHES BACK
NEVERMIND
ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE
That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me
Call this one Susan
You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit
The problem with the manic pixie dreamgirl trend in media is that it trains men to assume every girl they pass with a pretty dress, unusual hair, and sparkly eye-liner is some kind of deep and quirky and paradoxical nymph, which is complete erasure of girls like me, who are absolute gremlins.
There’s a certain point in conversations with guys when you can tell that’s what he’s thinking. He fell for the sparkly nails and the off-the-shoulder top and he’s expecting you to tell him how your dream is to bike across France with just the clothes on your back. How you like art museums because they feel like the beautiful preservation of long-dead artists’ souls. How you believe humans evolved sight in order to appreciate the infinitely unreachable cascade of stars above.
And at that point you’ve already lost. There’s no graceful way to clarify that you’re actually just a gremlin in a sundress, which you got for $14.99 on the clearance rack at Old Navy while trying to buy socks. That you actually don’t know anything about philosophy or whimsy or world-travel you get anxious taking the subway anywhere new. That you actually really have to go because you already have plans for the evening of lying in a blanket-burrito in bed watching a 49 minute Youtube video review of an anime you’ve never heard of.
The manic pixie dreamgirl trope is socially-anxious-dumbass erasure and i wont stand for it
I’m just a gremlin who found some contouring videos and a good phone filter.
Here for anxious-dumbass-gremlin visibility.
I’m laughing so hard cause this is deadass what bees do 😂
Save them
this post reads very differently for mlm and wlw
mlm:
wlw: