p e a r

queer / ao3: peartheshame5

[fotonos]

From a web weave in June.

[torchwood-99]

"I love you but you're doing wrong in a way I cannot condone" and "I hate you but you're being wronged in a way I cannot stomach" are top tier and I need more of them.

[peartheshame]

Having a boyfriend as a bisexual (woman)(?) who gave up on gnc expression due to societal pressure/wanting to be attractive feels like going back to the fucking closet. Kinda is isn’t it

[tulipsonmyhair-deactivated20260]

I hope life can forgive me for the times i didnt live

[istillfuckwithdemilovato-deacti]

You guys like the pesh mode

[aquilacalvitium]

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

[aquilacalvitium]

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

[bogleech]

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

[drethelin]

HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN

YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.

A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT

humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.

REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.

WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE

WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY

THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.

HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS

WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.

HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE

OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD

[prokopetz]

More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.

(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)

Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:

Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.

Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.

We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.

Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.

In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.

[friendlyfrankenstein]

Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place. 

We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps. 

And by god, we will eat anything. 

[siderealsandman]

We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food. 

We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin. 

We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live. 

We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out

We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. 

Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. 

We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights

We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them. 

On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet. 

Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us

[moniquill]

We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!

On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

[therobotmonster]

Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.

Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.

Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow. 

The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.

Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.

We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it. 

Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel. 

They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”

[silentstep]

#an individual human being is actually a microbiome in its own right—you are dealing with a legion each time you approach them     #they carry pathological agents inside their deep tissues and this is advantageous to their health     #one of the most widespread and resilient viruses on their planet is treated as mildly hazardous—even though it causes     #massive disruption to the body’s homeostasis     #(their young offspring endure multiple rhinovirus infections EACH YEAR yet they seem unperturbed by this)     #they have developed such long lifespans that now their primary threat is their own body’s degeneration     #humanity has literally figured out how to survive so long that their body gives out under them     #and they are not satisfied with that     #stupid willful vengeful survivalists who treat mortality like a challenge    

[littlekittenluna]

I am speechless

[cause-of-chaos-deactivated20180]

We are the real terror to the aliens. That’s why they don’t come around

[aniseandspearmint]

HERITAGE POST

this is the OG humans are scary space monsters post!

[vernadskova-deactivated20230803]

i bet cavemen were doing some pentatonix acapella shit all the time

[sandersstudies]

“They’re just looking for attention.”

Oh, a human being is seeking a social response? Human being, the social animal wired to make and track social connection? A human desires the vital blood that permitted their species to survive for millennia? The human being who was born completely helpless and primed in every way by nature to seek attention and help from their community?

Wow that’s crazy. How embarrassing. Humiliating even. Should we isolate them from community? Should we call Wire Mother?

[bitofanupsidedowner]

if i had created a finale with this many problems, i'd kill myself

[feluka]

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

[typewriter-worries]

my favorite reads of 2025

The Collapse of Self-Worth in the Digital Age

Extremely Online and Incredibly Tedious

Stop Calling My Daughter Pretty

Taylor Swift Is The 21st Century's Most Disorienting Pop Star

No Good Art Comes From Greed

AirPods Are a Tragedy

Only Fads: A Culture (and Economy) of Labubu

As a mother to teen daughters, I'm not that concerned about Sabrina Carpenter's influence (...but I am about Gracie Abrams)

Taylor Swift is not the English teacher she wants you to think she is

The Secret Society of Lightning Strike Survivors

Less TikTok, More Screaming

The era of QAnon capitalism

Puritanism took over online fandom — and then came for the rest of the internet

Scapegoating the Algorithm

You Can’t Post Your Way Out of Fascism

How Wellness and Beauty Influencers Can Be Part of an Alt-Right Pipeline for Teen Girls

Ruins in Reverse

The “Disney adult” industrial complex

A lot of y'all aren't woke, just assholes

Comedy’s Safest Slur

ChatGPT Shaming Is Making Our Writing So Much Worse

AI Slop Recipes Are Taking Over the Internet — And Thanksgiving Dinner

Is The Love Song Dying?

Hot subpoena summer

The Old Guard That Never Was (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

[oncillaphoenix]

these hips don't lie but the truths they tell are strange and disquieting

[visenyaism]

Honestly fuck AI for making me have to go on and on defending the dignity of toil like I’m some kind of protestant

[ceruleanheaven]

the lion concerns himself with everything

[chilewithcarnage]

[politicallychargedhummus]

[justalitlecreacher]

The trope where a character overhears something out of context and assumes the worst is usually annoying and bad but I really think it works well in Shrek

We, the audience, know that Fiona is talking about herself but, regardless, she’s calling herself these terrible things because she is an ogre. If Fiona is these things because she is is an ogre what does that make Shrek?

If Fiona says no one could love her because she is an ogre, she is saying that Shrek is also unloveable whether she wants to or not.

Imo the scene is a really good portrayal of how when you talk poorly of yourself or others for having a trait, you’re also talking about every other person who shares that trait; even if you love them or think what you’re saying doesn’t apply to them.

[informationsorter]

Not going to lie, I saw the word “Shrek” and never expected this to be a deep post.

[mosswall]

On the being deep about Shrek website?

[michaelblume]

It's got layers.

[remnantglow]

also speaking of jakub różalski this painting of his is my FAVOURITE like yes girl snitch on the knight!!! get his ass!!!

[remnantglow]

the one of a girl looking longingly at a naked witch flying by and the one of a babushka yelling at a devil also rule tho

[helendamnationx]

Just want to make sure people are aware that the artist is on ArtStation and many of these, including the longing stare at witch one, are in fact for sale as prints for highly reasonable prices - the cheapest option being an 8 by 12 art poster for 18 US dollars (plus shipping).

[the-heart-of-leo]

HERE’S HIS WEBSITE

Not only will you get to see the hilarious names of these works but usually a short story and a detailed look at his work progress!

He also does a lot of werewolf art which I adore!

[avishabilis]

So it’s only now I spot the cat that chased the devil up the shrine. Further evidence that the young woman achieved her ambition of becoming a witch herself.