Phenomenal Asterisk

Phe - she/they - 30s - queer - 🔞 - multifandom - Ao3 - fuck terfs

[indigosfindings]

i turn my clamification dial to 100% & the capital of the netherlands becomes clamsterdam. i turn it to 200% & it becomes clamsterclam

[lizardsister]

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

[tuherrus]

you don't even have a dog

[frawkeyes]

Netflix Geralt and Jaskier? 100% gay. It cant be explained otherwise

Game Geralt and Dandelion? 100% platonic but its so much worse.

They have gotten married because they were both drunk, Dandelion just got dumped and Geralt was consoling him. He promised he'd marry Dandelion if he was a girl. So they drunkenly went and got married to prove it. They didnt get it annulled bc if something happened to Geralt, theyd contact Dandelion.

Yennefer: so they won't contact me?

Geralt: I'm pretty sure you have me microchipped anyway

They're the friends who give each other handjobs bc one of them broke his arm. "What did you want me to do Yen, he broke his ARM" This has happened to both of them multiple times.

Dandelion definitely asked Geralt to check his penis bc some girl commented on it. He needed his besties opinion.

Priscilla and Yennefer just accepted their boyfriends were like that. They know its 100% platonic and some weird form of bonding they both require to thrive

Zoltan: no that's not normal male bonding, Dandelion

Dandelion: sounds to me like someone's jealous

[jerreeeeeee]

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

[jerreeeeeee]

what mutual is prev

my liege lord

my loyal knight

my wise wizard

my evil advisor

my brother in arms

my lady muse

my wild mermaid friend

my fellow alchemist

my dashing rapscallion

my monstrous foe

Remaining time: 2 days 15 hours

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

[whyenn-reader]

[goth-queen]

[heartwarminganimals]

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[banquo-and-macbeth]

worshipping angels that crashed here

[bhebah]

[plagueislost]

a superblond value study for the soul 😌

[bannertanks]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[frustratedasatruar]

Its like how people who don't learn fire safety are brutally mauled and eaten alive by Smokey the Bear.

[animentality]

[poppyseed-art]

[wutheringheightsfilm]

every day it just concerns me how little compassion people have. no compassion for those living in the global south. no compassion for immigrants. no compassion for disabled ppl. no compassion for addicts. no compassion for prisoners. no compassion for children. like holy shit ...

[wutheringheightsfilm]

i made a separate post about this but actually there are plenty of people cough white people who care about animals more than they ever do human people . not what i'm talking about make your own post

[nourishedbytime]

[lastoneout]

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

[lastoneout]

Every time you feel bad for having coffee with cream and sugar or ranch on your salad or putting extra butter and salt on your veggies I want you to imagine the spirit of John Harvey Kellogg in front of you and then I want you to kill him with a real gun and eat your delicious food in peace.