sophia

:)

[zelovinit]

GUYS THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION IS TESTING OM TRANS PEOPLE

[zelovinit]

GUYS IF THIS ISNT REBLOGGED IT WONT FUCKING BE SEEN.

[rainbow-femme]

Since people liked this post of Ilya proving to the internet why Shane is a good partner, let’s have a sequel of Shane doing similar

Ilya is in a depression low and the fact that his hockey persona is still “biggest asshole” no matter what he does has been getting to him even if he won’t admit it. So Shane posts a photo compilation titled “Every Reason Ilya Rozanov Is NHLs Biggest Asshole”

-“Bullies his teammates” with a picture of Ilya doing a celebratory fist pump next to Haas with his face in his hands, in front of a tv showing Ilya getting first in Mario Kart

-“Bullies his competitors” with a picture of Ilya laughing and Scott Hunter looking like he wants to set him on fire with his mind as he holds a birthday card labeled ‘Woah! You made it to 100!’

-“Bullies Hayden Pike” with a picture of Ilya and Jackie in the lake doing the Dirty Dancing lift while Hayden stands by with his hands on his hips and glaring

-“Stealing” with a group of pictures of Ilya wearing a Hollander 24 hoodie, wearing the Canadian Olympic fleece, and wearing one of Shane’s old jerseys

-“Dramatic” with a picture of Ilya in a feather boa at a karaoke night at a gay bar, eyes closed as he is clearly belting out some song

-“Takes jobs away from janitors” with a picture of Ilya in an arena post-game and picking up litter people dropped in the hallway

-“Bad role model to youth” with a picture of Ilya and a kid at one of the camps sticking their tongues out at each other

-“Child abuse” with a picture of Ilya playing paintball with a group of young boys

-“Animal abuse” with a picture of Ilya bathing an unhappy Anya in a kiddie pool in the backyard

-“Disturbing local wildlife” with a blurry picture of Ilya running away from a Canada goose

-“Encourages cavities” with a picture of Ilya letting trick or treaters take handfuls of candy from a bowl

-“Unfair sales tactics” with a picture of Ilya taking pictures with people at a Girl Scout cookie sale table, the table surrounded by a crowd of people waiting and holding cookie boxes

-“Trespassing” with a picture of Ilya shoveling a neighbors driveway

-“Fashion crimes” with a picture of Ilya in a pink baseball hat, a neon orange tank top, jorts, and neon green crocs

-“Not helpful at puzzles” with a picture of Ilya and David in front of a one thousand piece puzzle, both with their faces in their hands, pieces everywhere

-“Only falls asleep during movies when its his husbands turn to pick” with a selfie of Shane frowning at the camera and Ilya zonked out asleep on his chest

[fforsythiaaa]

Once when I was in undergrad, someone described something as “problematic” in class and our professor was like, “That’s cool, but ‘problematic’ doesn’t really mean anything. It means that the thing you’re describing has a problem, and in and of itself that’s not bad. Art, especially, should always have problems, or else it’s not interesting and not art, either. It sounds like you’re trying to say that this is bad, but you don’t want to say ‘bad.’ Is that right?”

So from then on whenever one of us called something problematic, he would make us talk it out until we could name the “bad” thing we were hinting at. In this particular class, 7/10 it was some type of oppression, and the remainder was like, “I’m uncomfortable because this is very new/confusing/pushing boundaries that made me feel safe.”

Once we stopped calling things “problematic” and stopping at that, class got way more interesting and... we all had to say, like, “that’s racist” or “that’s misogynistic” or “ew capitalism gross” out loud, which a lot of us had never done in a classroom before. Or we had to be like, “Uhhh... I’m not sure what’s so bad?” and confront our own beliefs and that was maybe even more useful.

Anyway. Whenever I see the word problematic, I can’t help but think of this professor being like, “Good starting point, now let’s get specific.” I think when we have to commit to saying “that’s ___” it requires a lot more careful thought about the truth and impact and complexities of whatever we’re claiming. Sometimes there really is some bullshit afoot, and also sometimes it’s art, and it should be full of problems, because that’s what art is.

[travelingtwentysomething]

can we put it up to a vote?

ban all advertising on the Internet

advertising only allowed on your own social media pages or websites

advertising is fine the way it is

secret fourth option PAY ME FOR THE ADS, DIRECT DEPOSIT FOR EVERY AD I SEE

Remaining time: 5 days 18 hours

<please reblog for larger voter sample>

[subversivecynic]

Nothing makes me more aware of how insidious advertising is like trying to convince my mom with dementia that she doesn't need supplements or a honey love bra or a magical shaver that makes people bald

[travelingtwentysomething]

My 70 year old aunt lived with me for a few years and the amount of times I had to help her call her credit card company or bank because she got scammed trying to buy another thing off of Instagram or Facebook ads is insane. I think she got a new debit card at least once every month and a half. And she thought I judged her for being gullible and would get mad anytime I told her something sounded phishy or a scam and told me I was "too skeptical and didn't trust anything". Then she got scammed out of $3000 paying for a "course to teach her how to make AI books to sell on Amazon" I tried to tell her to call her bank for months. She wouldn't even tell me how much it was, she said she wanted to "give it a chance", tried to convince her daughter to do it with her, said she'd pay for it, and then she realized they were charging her a couple hundred a month for the "next video" and me and her daughter worked for months to be subtle about educating her about how ai is bad in all the ways, and "ai books" were slop that were plagiarising real works, and FINALLY she told her daughter how much money they'd gotten from her. And then when she tried to call the company and get a refund they ignored her. And finally I convinced her to call her bank and they were working on getting her back her money the last time I talked to her about it. I'm not sure that's true though, she might have just felt too ashamed to tell me she had been scammed out of that much.

I don't judge her though.

I judge the fucking culture of all these websites letting all this trash advertising without ever vetting them or judging whether it's appropriate or legal or a scam. And all these money grubbing scams and apps and "courses" that are out here trying to steal your data or identity or straight up your money, PREYING ON THE VULNERABILITY OF THE ELDERLY OR UNEDUCATED.

[argillaforma]

ilya and shane being invited to the wedding of one of their teammates and there's like a hundred people and all the kids take a liking to ilya because he's ilya and he's not boring like the other grown ups and this little boy in particular seems to really like him and ilya notices how he holds his hands over his ears when the guests get a little too loud so he speaks to him a little extra softly and unlike the other children he doesn't like the fun colorful looking sour candy because it makes his mouth hurt so ilya offers him the plain chips instead and he doesn't really play with the other children much but he likes showing ilya his dinosaur toys and the little boy's mother, who doesn't know that he is a famous hockey player, comes over and she seems really surprised that he likes ilya because normally he doesn't like talking to strangers and ilya just chuckles and says he reminds me a little of my husband and the mother goes oh is your husband also autistic? and ilya looks at her confused which starts a conversation about autism and the more this woman tells him the more he looks over at shane and then the little boy and then back to shane and for a reason he can't explain he feels a little panicked as if accidentally discovering something he wasn't supposed to but then at the end of the night he thinks it doesn't even matter because that's his shane who he loves so much who also prefers the plain chips because the flavor isn't overwhelming and maybe there's a word for it but it doesn't matter because ilya wouldn't have him any other way

[phiauniverse]

🥹

[shinywhatsoever]

credit: 보리꼬리 broccoli1221 (x)

[shanehollandered]

i think if hollanov had children, they'd have a competition going to get their kid to say papa (ilya) / daddy (shane) first. and of course they're always doing it in front of each other too, talking to their toddler and very exaggeratedly going “oh you love papa so much, don't you, munchkin?” or “look what daddy got you” and pulling out their kids favourite stuffed animal that they'd looked for for ages.

and then when their kids says daddy first, ilya is holding them both and sobbing into shane’s neck because OF COURSE their child would say daddy first because shane is SUCH A GREAT DAD THE BEST DAD SUPERBEST DAD and he’s so happy, and shane is a little overwhelmed because he did not see this coming.

and then a few days later, ilya comes home and shane is with their kid on the couch and his whole face is lit up as he looks at their child at first, saying ”tell papa what you told me, munchkin” and then turns to look at ilya as their kid throws up their hands and toots “papa! key!” and ilya almost melts into a puddle but goes because their kid is wriggling and leaning towards him, and they spend the rest of the day on the couch together and ilya keeps sniffling and shane keeps kissing his forehead and their toddler keeps giving him open-mouthed kisses on his face.

[sweetbabyshane]

Ilya will pout. If he wants attentions, Ilya is not above whining and pouting to his husband to get what he wants. And Shane folds every time. He loves his dramatic baby of a husband too much to resist.

---

"You are mad at me," Ilya said suddenly from the other end of the couch.

Shane looked up with confusion at the sudden outburst. "What? No I’m not."

Ilya sighed and let his head fall back against the arm rest. "You must be. There is no other explanation."

"Why do you say that? Explanation for what?" Shane asked, letting his iPad fall into his lap. He adjusted his glasses a bit as they slipped down his nose.

Ilya crossed his arms and looked at the ceiling to keep his composure. "I have been on the couch with you for over ten minutes, and you do not touch me. You have not even looked at me. You must be mad if you do not want me."

Shane's jaw dropped slightly at the accusation. "Ilya, seriously? I’m not mad. I was focused on reading this contract for mom."

"No, is fine. I understand. You are tired of me now. Honeymoon is over," Ilya replied with another sigh, letting his head loll to the side. His voice had taken on that signature whine he only used when he was in a certain attention-seeking mood.

"Oh my god, you are ridiculous," Shane said with a huff. He knew what was going on now, and he had to resist laughing at the dramatics.

Ilya finally looked at Shane, sporting a pitiful look as if to say 'poor me' with his eyes. "First, my husband won’t touch me. Now, he says mean things about me."

"Ilya, come on. You know I didn't do it on purpose. I just get concentrated on things," Shane offered, playing into Ilya's little scene now.

"Yes, I know, but you usually still will touch me. At least acknowledge I am here," Ilya responded, sniffing at the end with a little pout on his lips.

Shane set his iPad aside and patted the couch beside him with an endeared smile on his face. He would never admit it, but Shane loved these little moments where Ilya indirectly asked for what he wanted. If a silly exchange was necessary to end up cuddling on the couch sometimes, Shane would never tell him to stop.

"You’re right. I’m sorry. I really was just focused on reading. It’s a lot of legal stuff so I had to concentrate. Come here."

Ilya let out a pleased hum and shuffled over to drape himself across Shane’s chest. His head quickly nuzzled into his preferred spot, and Ilya only had to wait a few seconds for Shane's hand to start running through his hair.

"Yes, much better. My husband loves me again."

Shane huffed a laugh before dropping a kiss on Ilya's head. "I never stopped, you big baby."

"Yours," Ilya mumbled into Shane's neck.

"Hmm?"

Ilya lifted his head just enough to kiss Shane's chin, and he repeated himself. "Your big baby."

Shane gently lowered Ilya's head back to his chest and squeezed him a little tighter in his arms. "Yeah, my big baby."

[gurlsrool]

Yes, Ilya is a “my Shane my Shane my Shane” kind of husband

Except around Yuna and David. With them, it’s always “our Shane our Shane our Shane” 😌

[my-castles-crumbling]

awkward - hollanov - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 374 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3

"This doesn't have to be awkward, you know."

Those were the first words Rose Landry spoke to Ilya, when Shane stepped away to the bathroom, leaving them in a very stiff silence.

"Is not awkward," he muttered, nose wrinkling as he glowered.

It was.

"Sure. And you're not trying to kill me with your mind," she said conversationally, reaching for another piece of bread from the bowl in the middle of Shane's table. "But here's the thing: I don't want Shane. So you don't need to worry about that. I get that you're upset about what happened in the past-"

"Am not upset," he spat, very upset.

"-but you have to see the positives of this, here, Ilya," Rose said lightly but a bit beseechingly. "We can use this to our advantage."

He glanced up to her, dubious. He had to admit, though, his interest was piqued. "How would we do this?"

She broke into a smile that looked almost evil. "We," she gestured between the two of them, "have knowledge about Shane Hollander that nobody else does. And if we join forces? We can use it against him. You think you can get under his skin now? Wait until I tell you what he's like when he tries to take a girl shopping."

His mouth popped open a little as he considered that. But then a beautiful and terrible thought occurred to him. "Tell me you did not take him to lingerie store," he murmured, eyes wide.

"Oh, I did," she grinned. "He was so uncomfortable, he accidentally bumped into a mannequin and said ‘excuse me.’"

Ilya couldn't help himself. He broke into a smile. "Did he panic when you brought him to see bras? Tell me he did."

"He wouldn't even look at them. Made an excuse about being allergic to silk and then tripped and fell into a stack of underwear," she said, beaming.

By the time Shane returned, they were both laughing, tears in their eyes. "Hollander! Hollander!" Ilya yelled, smile wide. "Rose Landry is going to take us both when she goes to buy panties next. She says you have very good taste in these things!"

Shane sank back into his chair, groaning. "Fuck. I should've never introduced you."

[habitualfacepalmer]

AU about Yuna and David having a late life, brink-of-menopause-reproductive-last-hurrah oopsie baby when Shane is in World Juniors and how the balance of the Hollander family recalibrates to account for both Shane's baby brother and his professional hockey career, leading to a small but measurable amount of pressure to be taken off Shane's psyche by not being the only child but also kinda feeling adrift as so much attention goes to this new child who may be able to Perform Better than Shane (aka not be gay)

in this au this 9 year old is barging into the cottage after riding over on his bike to annoy Shane cuz he missed him on his stupid silent retreat why do you never wanna play w me

[habitualfacepalmer]

I have named him Chase

the media adores pictures of baby-faced Rookie Shane awkwardly holding an actual baby / his mini me when greeting his family after games

Chase adores Shane and seems to love hockey early on but really he's just feeding off the atmosphere, he has no clue what's going on

By the time Yuna and David strap him into skates, Chase is quickly discovering he has no actual interest in understanding what's happening on ice or taking part in it

Shane struggles even more so to relate to his supposed brother but also somewhat relieved that he doesn't have to worry about this kid coming up behind him in 15 years to be a better, more perfect hockey player and son, which is a feeling that Shane is very uncomfortable sitting with for long

by age 9, Chase is well and truly over hockey, resenting how much it seems to occupy Yuna and esp Shane

there are failed attempts at brother bonding sleepovers in Montreal when Shane isn't traveling but Chase never lasts the weekend without calling David

Chase likes basketball, it's what his friends play, it's more accessible, he and his friends can pick up and play just about anywhere, anytime

but he doesn't want to play it like Shane plays hockey and chafes at Yuna's attempts to foster his interests in it along those lines bc that's how Yuna shows her love

Chase just wants to goof off w his friends and have fun

He also likes Roblox and Minecraft, Steven Universe and Teen Titans Go, bike riding and his pet guinea pig

he likes so many things and feels like his brother isn't aware of or cares about any of them bc they aren't hockey (even tho Chase thinks his guinea pig and his brother have a lot in common)

Chase is boisterous and loud; he thumbs his nose at the media that cooed at his pudge ball self in Shane's arms, making a spectacle of his boredom and dissatisfaction at Montreal home games

Chase loves Shane but loudly proclaims his favorite hockey player is Ilya Rozanov, bc it's the only thing Chase has ever done that has gotten a big reaction out of his big brother

[habitualfacepalmer]

Chase's existence doesn't impact the trajectory of Hollanov too much because he spends 95% of his time in Ottawa with Yuna and David

2 key splits in the timestream, however:

Shane doesn't officially date Rose because shortly post-Tuna meltdown, Shane comes to terms with being gay more so on his own, having suffered a crisis over Chase being the more perfect "do-over" kid when Chase demonstrates a sincere crush on a girl in his class and come out the other side resigned to the fact that Shane can fulfill the star hockey athlete expectations as his parents' son while Chase (mind you, an 8 year old at this point) can eventually fulfill the heteronormative bring-home-a-nice-girl-and-give-their-parents-grandkids expectations. Rose still clocks Shane bc for all they hang out and the media is speculating, he is obviously not making a move, and Rose let's him know that's okay, offers to hook em up with Miles, etc. etc. Shane and Ilya are already in relationship limbo pre All Stars but All Stars is where Shane tries to hit the brakes on merely falling back into old patterns.

a 9 year old on a bike is much easier to chase down that an SUV. Like, Shane snatches Chase off that bike and Chase (who first felt a flush of boiling rage his tiny body could hardly contain that Shane's stupid silent retreat as an excuse to hang out and be friends with Chase's alleged favorite hockey player Rozanov, quickly followed by wave of shock and awe that his brother is kissing his favorite hockey player, mixed with relief that his brother isn't friends with Rozanov but boyfriends with Rozanov, and finally the gut-sinking realization that he's "in trouble" for what? he's not quite sure before bailing) is all squirmy and near in tears, promising simultaneously that he didn't see anything and that he won't tell. He means it, too. Chase wants to keep this secret for his brother, even if he doesn't completely grasp the gravity of it, because for him it's something they can finally share. Except, Shane realizes he can't ask his primary-school-aged little brother to keep this secret for him. He won't put Chase through that. So he sends him home on his bike while he talks (out a panic attack) with Ilya and they get dressed to drive over to the Hollander cottage down the road, arriving just when Chase has ditched his bike in the yard and is standing in the living room sobbing into David's arms but shaking his head refusing to explain anything as a confused Yuna watches through the window as Ilya Rozanov exits the passenger side of her elder son's JEEP.

[kimmycup]

Like I don't think you guys comprehend what happened in Poland just now but everyone needs to be talking about it.

A random influencer decided he'll listen to an anti cancer song on loop. People liked it enough times he ended up listening for 9 days.

He raised 90 million in these 9 days, and then 160 million more over the last 10 hours, for a total of 250 million.

Hundreds and thousands of people signed up to donate marrow.

Hundreds of celebrities shaved their heads in solidarity.

The Foundation receiving this money had to create a special commission to figure out how to distribute the money.

The national TV stations got highjacked to stream this for hours because it was better news than anything happening in the world.

Because we broke and DOUBLED the world record for this kind of thing.

They raised about as much as the biggest running charity event in Poland did in a whole year with three decades of tradition and a goddamn army of people.

And they did it on a goddamn amateur set up in a shabby room sitting on folding chairs.

[transthatmasc]

Saw something earlier that mentioned Ilya becoming a PWHL coach when he retires and it’s completely rewritten my concept of Ilya as a character.

Yes absolutely he is becoming a PWHL coach. He’s doing constant promotional work to expand the league and its audience and doing interviews where he talks shit about all the creeps and losers in and running the NHL. “if me and my husband, Shane Hollander, had been female hockey players, we would have been criminally under paid and almost entirely ignored despite our epic love story. These women take their jobs incredibly seriously and play outstanding hockey. Of course some of them want to kiss each other. Would happen more in the NHL if the vile behavior of some players was not both tolerated and supported by teammates, coaches, and administrators.”

His players love him, the owners don’t understand his methods but can’t argue with results, and the NHL is actively pursuing their second defamation lawsuit against him even as they are actively trying to prevent Luca from doing public appearances with his new husband.

Now that they have his undivided attention, Shane becomes a regular guest commentator for PWHL games (never for Ilya’s team though, he’s in the stadium for those generally) and becomes a highly regarded figure for many PWHL fans.

Also, Shane Hollander loves lesbians. He goes out for mojitos and grain bowls with some of the women from Ilya’s team every month and they all get a little tipsy and grill each other about hockey stats and house renovations. He suddenly discovers the appeal of arranging play dates for your kids when he can hang out with some of the other SAPs and talk about play off chances and the fact that the team is on a road trip during the local spring break week while the kids play with foam blocks in the living room.

[memyselfandi13531]

i think the first time the centaurs really get shane and ilya's relationship is the first time shane's in the locker room with them post practice and ilya's going on another one of those ridiculous, overly confidant monologues of his, practically strutting around the room, making everybody groan and laugh. peacocking, bood calls it, and that seems about right. but this time is different- ilya's boyfriend SHANE HOLLANDER is here. and so they look over to see ilya already waiting on shane's reaction and shane's just sitting down at his cubby still laughing at what ilya and smiling up at him and the centaurs get to see their already larger than life captain grow even taller, get to watch that glow of his shine even brighter. for the first time they get to see him proud and in love.

[chubby-cry-baby]

reporter: ilya rozanov, who would you say is a better player between yourself and your husband?

ilya: shane is the best player in the NHL no contest

reporter: shane hollander same question.

shane: what he said

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[ilyashaneconnorhudson]

x