otter (aka piper)

i am otter (eww cringe furry) (specifically river otter) (but i act like cat) she/they nb 🏳️‍⚧️ - i don't really have any more specific labels 'cause labels are kinda cringe ngl fan of doctor who, marvel (to an extent), motorsport (@car-go-brrr is my car sideblog), computery things, and alt music pfp by EmmettArt@Twitter minors beware, some 🔞 is here

[valeriarae]

There's a certain breed of repressors online, the ones who are all "I want to be a girl, but I don't want to be trans."

They depress me, not because they're repressing. But because they just don't get it. They're surrounded by jerks who reinforce their repression too. It's an unending cycle of "I don't want to be trans" "that's okay, you can just be how you are. You can't be a girl, you should just live with it."

The harm this causes is irreparable. Their "friends" often don't think they're causing harm. Ultimately, this either drives the repressing person into severe psychosis and depression, that is often pushed externally reflexively as jealousy to trans women through transphobia. Internalizing said transphobia causing even more harm.

This cycle only exists because being transgender is seen as an ideology, a life style, a choice. There's a hard set belief that it's purely just a leftist thing to be trans. And there's merit to that; generally, right-wing politics doesn't support the bodily autonomy to transition sex and gender. Traditionally, the core of American conservatism is based on heavy policing of the self and others for a "model society." The model "nuclear family" exists as a tenet to this, specifically the roles of men and women. In order for it to work, "man" and "woman" must be strictly enforced, and the roles must be understood. It's social engineering. The goal is to eradicate otherness for the creation of docility to the state. It's to ensure a stable working population that reproduces reliably. Bodily autonomy is otherness. Refusing the strict policing of gender is otherness. Removing your ability to reproduce, ironically in a system that also enforces eugenics, is also otherness.

But being transgender isn't an ideology. It isn't a lifestyle. A choice? It's up to the person. The only choice is whether to continue to suffer with a misaligned body or alleviate the problem to the best medical science can offer. Ultimately the best solution for dysphoria, and genuinely wanting to be the opposite sex is to become the opposite sex. And it's hard not to see such an absolute as anything other than political because it's such an involved medical process. Cisgender people cannot fathom there's no alternate solutions. But it's really suffer greatly, or suffer minimally in comparison. For the repressor, this reality is haunting. They either live in suffering, or be trans. And they've been conditioned to understand being trans is a dangerous ideology. But the harshest reality is trans repression is an even more harmful ideology. Especially if the reason is "not being a real girl" is presented as the reason to not pursue transition. The continuation of the conservative idea of gender policing and reproduction is that the lack of being able to reproduce is yet a sign they'll only be a "fake girl."

I will never have a fully functional female body. I have made peace with that. But the parts of my body that are now female are beautiful and I cherish the malleability of the human body. Though incomplete, and not all that I wish, this body is female. I don't need to be able to get pregnant for that to be the case. And I'm always going to be much much happier than the alternative. Larissa was, unfortunately, surrounded by people who were insistent she repressed. Obviously that didn't happen, and being told that starting hormones would've been bad only made the pain worse. And being ostracized by those people after starting them? It was honestly freeing.

Being transgender isn't an ideology, repression is. You're probably not reading this, but it's important you fully understand: You don't have to completely change your beliefs to completely change yourself and your body. You make your rules on who you are. You can just be a girl. You don't have to be the definition of "trans" you've created. If you truly believe it's an ideology, you can just not. You don't need to encapsulate yourself in trans spaces and culture. You don't have to magically become leftist. You can just be a girl. You might have to find spaces that tolerate you and your beliefs, because transitioning will alienate all those "friends" who want you to repress. But that's just life. You have to live. On your own terms. Ultimately, it's important that you stay alive. Even if it's not perfect or everything you want. You can still just be a girl, if you'd like to.

[dat-soldier]

[perverted-asexual]

Every day tumblr users get closer and closer to saying you can only be trans in a god honouring way.

[cdigoddess]

cdigoddess' incomplete guide to internet transmisogyny <3

[horsefriend]

[putnamspuppeteer]

For those who don't know: Ikumi Nakamura is the woman who was senior artist on Bayonetta, and designed the titular character along with Hideki Kamiya. Their greatest moment of bonding was over their insistence that Bayonetta keep her glasses on at all times. Nakamura cannot go to horny jail. She is the warden.

[brookietf]

[catgirlforeskin]

Happy pride month to her and her exclusively

[seraphiminn]

she made a comic about the experience on twitter

[catboybiologist]

happy pride

[ikindamaybewanthertositonmyface]

An Update from back in October I'm surprised wasn't added to this post. lol

[captain-price-returns]

[darkness-and-trees]

Here's the thing about homeschooling that I think non-homeschooled kids don't and can't understand. You can have the best parents on the planet with the best intentions on the planet and homeschool will still seriously fuck you up. There is no way to do it ethically. I know because I basically had the best possible homeschooling experience.

My parents pulled me for the fourth grade, and I was homeschooled until the end of high school. Nine entire years. They pulled me from the public schools for a perfectly reasonable reason — my mental health was in the toilet and I needed to be away from other kids who might hurt me as they had spent all of my third grade year doing. My mom has a fucking PhD in neuroscience and tutors math professionally. She was, during the ten years that my siblings and I were homeschooled, the best, kindest, most caring, understanding, lovely teacher you could ask for.

But I'm still broken. That's the thing about homeschool. You can have the best experience possible in homeschool and still come out a fundamentally broken person. My social development stopped at the age of 10. I'm a 22 year old adult woman with the social skills of a 10 year old. That's not to say that that COULDN'T have happened in public school, but being homeschooled only made it more of a certainty. Both of my siblings and I have fewer coping strategies on average than our peers with similar neurodivergencies because we basically did not live in the real world for a decade during key developmental years.

Don't ban homeschooling because of the religious nuts. There are plenty of them. Hell, I KNEW plenty of them. But there are also plenty of quote unquote "good" homeschool families. Ones that do everything you would hope the model homeschool family does. And they are still hurting their children, even if unintentionally, because homeschooling is an inhrently traumatic experience. It's isolating. For seven entire years of my life, I had no friends. Not because I was a social outcast, but because I didn't even SEE anybody regularly enough. But, nonetheless, I knew people. You generally do if you get involved in the community.

Ban homeschooling because it breaks and utterly destroys everyone who goes through it.

Everyone.

I'm sorry, Lauren. I'm sorry, Kade. I'm sorry to the boy whose name I can no longer remember. I'm sorry that I survived and you didn't.

[foone]

Homeschooling was probably the best possible way for me to get educated, given my particularly blend of neurodivergence: It still messed me up terribly bad, and I was one of the luckiest ones. For most kids it was far, far worse.

I agree 100%

[officialpenisenvy]

the thing about getting out of the torment nexus is that you do start thinking "man if you ignore the torment i used to have a lot of fun in the torment nexus"

[doesrevali]

TADC SPOILERS

no cause sobbing in theaters and at home after watching jax get revealed to be a victim of emotional abuse who becomes a homeless transgender youth and then gets his brain copied at the height of his repression and denial and self hatred and then distances himself from everybody and becomes a caricature in order to cope with the unchangeable body he's put in within a digital landscape that changes everyday and then he kills himself AND THEN coming online to see people saying that jax just had a crush on ribbit and is totally cishet is an experience i would not recommend having

[yodaprod]

[dietspam16]

[foone]

Hi, Foone here, I'm a retrocomputer educator! I'm here to explain the real reason this laptop is like this.

So this is the Panasonic PRONOTE PD CF-62, it's a Pentium 133mhz running Windows 95, released in August 1996. Panasonic did this sort of trick more than once, they did a similar thing with an under-keyboard CD-ROM drive in the PD CF-41, from 1995.

This one is so fancy because that's not just a self-loading under-keyboard laptop CD-ROM drive, it's a HYBRID PD/CD-ROM self-loading under-keyboard laptop drive! It has to be this complex because it takes PD discs (which are the size of caddies) and caddyless CD-ROMs!

So what's PD discs?

They're an optical format by Panasonic, the Phase-change Dual (or Phase-change Disc). They're from 1996, store as much as CD, but are rewritable... much like the later CD-RWs which used basically the same technology, just in a slightly different format. Unlike CD-RWs (which you had to burn (usually), they acted like a hard drive, fully rewritable at any point. That's why the disc is hard-sectored, which you can see through the shutter gap. Those vertical lines indicate where sectors start and end.

So yeah, this laptop has a complex drive that can take both types of discs, and the whole thing folds under the keyboard. Fucking wild.

But the root reason, of course, is that they did this because it's a cool design, and they wanted to do that. Why did they think this was cool, why did they want to do this?

Pervert reasons.

Next question!

[piflnoso]

so PDs are sorta the CD version of DVD-RAM?

[serendippertyy]

happy pride to transfem jax,,, anytime someone draws transfem jax fairies are born and flowers bloom...

[illusoryfem]

Franciscan nuns at the Convent of St. Anthony of Padua, Spain, are keeping a giant rabbit breed from dwidling to extinction. To fund their conservation efforts, the nuns sell homemade cookies and ice cream. (People)

[roadside--picnic]

[immigrant]

this was tumblr in 2013

[allegedly-human]

This is tumblr in 2026

[urie]

the thing is like men and men really cant be friends because the sex part does always get in the way like thats true. and i mean that like im actually dead serious about that

[urie]

like have you ever seen two straight men attempt to be friends with each other but the gay sex they arent having is literally preventing them from the transformative healing power of friendship. this is real

[urie]

i dont even mean this in a "they want to fuck each other" way (although many of them do and will never know it) i mean that like the fact that gay sex is even hypothetically possible between them makes it loom over their friendship like it genuinely haunts them that they could be having it. gay sex is the elephant in the room every time they attempt to be emotionally vulnerable with one another, every time they let a hug linger too long. they cannot address its existence and so there is always something in their way, preventing true connection. and that something is the gay sex. that they are not having. the elephant of gay sex

[girlcodedhamlet]

it's very frustrating seeing otherwise well-structured posts about media literacy and critical thinking bookended with statements about "nowadays", "nobody has literacy anymore", "this generation is so anti-intellectual", and the like, unquestioningly falling into better past fallacies.

Do we really think the 80s and its Satanic Panic were better at critical thinking? what about the 40s? the Victorian era? societies have always had problems with critical thinking and literacy, because most societies have dealt with propaganda, corrupt leadership, difficulty providing education (due to poverty or discrimination or other issues), and/or people who resist critical thinking (due to privilege or circumstance or what have you). we can criticize media trends without pulling a "well back in the GOOD OLD DAYS" about it.

[dogpuppy]

[piflnoso]

i don’t think this person is watching normal cartoons

[queeranarchism]

#my wife is on the SOR for being gay #no joke #she hit on a girl in a straight bar once #in 1997 #and while the girl was into it #the off duty cop sitting nearby was not #and so he arrested her for ‘soliciting homosexual activity’ #which in our state was still a felony #in 1997 (and would remain so until Lawrence v Texas in 2003) #and since ‘soliciting homosexual activity’ was a felony and a sex crime #she got put on The List #she is still on there to this day #because it costs MONEY to ask a judge to take you off #and she has tried four times#since 2003 #to get taken off the SOR #but every time the judge has said something like ‘no you pled guilty to the crime i can’t possibly take you off the sex offender registry’ #with no acknowledgement of what the actual crime was #(the crime of being a butch lesbian hitting on a cute girl who was into it) #(in 1997)

Reposting these tags with consent from the person that wrote them. The post about the Sex Offenders Registry is locked, but these tags are too important to go unnoticed.

Younger queer people need to realize that the SOR being used against queer people simply for being queer isn’t some ancient history thing. It still impacts queer people today. And it can quite easily be used that way again.

[ashelyskies-deactivated20241121]

Listen!

When you hear people throwing around the talking point of “well there’s a high rate of sex offenders in the trans/queer community”, this has to do with why.

Being on the sex offender registry isn’t inherently equivalent to whatever horrific sex crime you’re meant to think of when it’s mentioned. It evokes imagery of pedophilia and rape, but there is a lot that can get you put on it and not a lot you can do to be taken off of it.

Public crossdressing used to be able to get you put on the sex offender registry (and by used to I mean as recently as 2011).

Public urination (you know, the literal only option for someone who’s homeless and doesn’t have access to public bathrooms, a venn diagram where trans people are more likely to rest in the meeting zone) can get you put on the sex offender registry.

Sex work is pretty much an automatic way to end up on the sex offender registry if you’re caught. (This is especially weaponized against black trans women who do sex work)

“Deviant Sexual Intercourse” (aka literally any sexual activity aside from penis-in-vagina penetration) could get you on the sex offender registry as recently as the early 2000s. That effectively impacts the entire queer community in one way or another.

The sex offender registry is, first and foremost, useless. It tells you nothing about what someone did. It’s mentioned to quickly associate a person or a group of people with the worst possible crimes imaginable.

It has been used against us time after time and it will continue to be used for that.

[cluegrrl]

And this is where the push of purity discourse in fandom shows its fetid, fascist underbelly.

[gwydionmisha]

This is why they are making being trans in public a felony in some states.

[harperhug]

When you decide that people who commit a certain crime or category of crime should legally lose their humanity, you create incentive for more people to be charged with that crime.

[cricketcat9]

But, is your current President on that list? 🤔🤔🤔

[queeranarchism]

In a hypothetical future in which Trump loses power and the Democrats grow a spine and try to sue him, I don’t want The State to be able to take away Donal Trump’s human rights.

I will throw a party if the next shooter hits their mark.

But I don’t want The State to be able to take away Donal Trump’s human rights. Because I don’t want The State to be able to take away anyone’s human rights.

Because the moment they can (which is right now), they target marginalized people. They target refugees. They target trans people. They target people of color. They target disabled people. They’re doing it all right now. Oppressing minorities is What States Do.

The potential joy I would feel if the state punished 1 evil billionaire isn’t worth the harm to millions of people that always always results from the state having that power.

[whirligig-girl]

I had noticed these strange little occurrences all my life. A bird would fly past my window and it'd sorta look like it was half there, half not. I'd glance up at a clock and for a moment, the second hand would be in two places at once. Never really thought much about it. I thought it was just normal. Someone told me once about the clock hand illusion where you flick your eyes and it looks like time stops for a half second or so, I figured it was something weird like that.

But one day, I think it was August 2021, I flipped a coin. Thinking back, I think it might have been the first time in my life I'd ever flipped a coin. But we were deciding where to eat, me and my friends.

And then it happened. The coin landed on the table, heads... and also on the floor, tails. I tracked the coin with my eyes, but suddenly realized I was looking at two things at the same time. It was like crossing your eyes, and seeing things kinda overlaid on top of eachother, kinda mixing and fading in and out, but with four eyes instead of two.

It was such a weird experience. At first I just stood there kinda motionless, trying to figure out what was going on. Then my friend bent down and picked up the coin off the floor, and said "Hah! Tails! Pizza!" and also she just stood there and said "Damnit. Heads. Guess we're gonna get burgers after all."

And I looked down at her and up at her at the same time.

That's really when the desynch started. I reached for the coin on the table and held a fuzzy, half-there, transparent coin in my hand.

I began to feel kinda sick. We got in the car and things got more and more confusing. Thank goodness I wasn't driving that day. My friends were having two increasingly different conversations and I just sat there kinda dissociating. By the time we got to the two different restaurants I was nauseated and I had a bad headache. I stayed in the car in the parking lot at the pizza place for a few minutes until the other car going to the burger place parked. One of my friends was worried and stayed with me, so that was nice. But when I tried getting out of the car, everything went wrong.

One of my bodies walked right into another car and fell down on the ground, while the other stopped and froze in place. The completely different sense of proprioception completely broke me.

I was basically bedridden for a week. Slowly I relearned how to move, and walk, and talk. I had two bodies, in two timelines, connected by a single consciousness. My brain(s?) had to learn how to control two bodies at the same time.

It's like, pretty weird, but I'm used to it these days. My two sets of eyes no longer overlay on top of one another, they're kinda separate. It's hard to describe. I think my brain got better at multitasking too, I can walk in one timeline and draw in the other, for example.

Things kept getting more and more different, as much as I tried to enforce keeping things the same. Finally I started seeing my therapist again.

I had to convince her that what I was experiencing was real. So I asked her to think of her favorite food and her favorite color. Then in the "Burger" timeline I asked her to tell me her favorite food, and in the "Pizza" timelines I asked her to tell me her favorite color. And I told her her favorite color in the burger timeline and her favorite food in the pizza timeline (Spaghetti and Red, btw.)

She quizzed me on a few other things and sometimes her answers differed between the two timelines which was pretty frustrating, and I don't think she really believed me at first, but she was nice enough to play along at least. And like, not have me committed.

I ended up scheduling my therapy so that I have meetings on pizza tuesday and burger friday, so they're kinda spaced out more evenly. It also just makes the meetings a little less confusing. Ironically doing the same thing in both timelines is actually more distracting than doing different things.

In late 2022 I transitioned. I decided to come out in the burger timeline and stay in the closet in the pizza timeline, so if everything fell apart I'd still have one normal timeline. And like, my parents did not support me. Most of my friends did, but some of them drifted away. And I found that just made me resentful of my parents and those friends in the pizza timeline. And the dysphoria of being a guy in the pizza timeline while living as a woman in the burger timeline was killing me. So when I got on HRT in early 2023 I decided I couldn't take it anymore, I had to transition in both timelines. So I did. Ironically things went a little smoother in the pizza timeline, probably because I was already more confident about presenting female.

I ended up making some transfem friends in the burger timeline, and I sought them out in the pizza timeline too.

It's kind of a mixed bag, this phenomenon. You know like, pain is a lot worse. One week I had a bad tummy ache in the pizza timeline and a bad toothache in the burger timeline. Or like, if I have back pain in one timeline, not having back pain in the other timeline doesn't relieve the feeling at all.

It's such a cool thing, like. When I first started out I had all these conflicting signals in my limbs and body and stuff. But now it's just like. Yeah I have a pizza arm and a burger arm, just like I have a left arm and a right arm. They're the same, but different.

When I make a drawing in one timeline, I don't have access to it in the other timeline, which is really annoying because I keep wanting to show people art I made in the other timeline. One day I'll figure out some kind of interdimensional data transfer protocol. I mean I guess I could like, convert the file into hexadecimal text, and then manually type it out and hope I don't make any mistakes. I'd have to compress the hell out of the file though. Maybe I'll try that one of these days when I don't have anything to do in either timeline.

But I get to spend more time with my friends, because I can schedule hanging out on different days of the same week. Does get kinda confusing when I confuse things that happened in one timeline for another.

Because like, ever since that coin flip, the timelines have been steadily moving further apart. You'd be surprised how little the weather has changed. Like, sometimes there's a little rain shower in one timeline a few minutes earlier than in the other, but all the big storms and hurricanes and stuff are basically the same. I guess it's harder to influence these continent-scale systems than the butterfly effect predicts.

I get to see almost twice as much meteors during meteor showers because I can look in two directions at once. Meteors hit the atmosphere in exactly the same way at exactly the same time.

But it does affect a lot of other little things. Even when you don't realize it, you affect the lives of everyone you come into contact with in little ways, and that spreads. I know people with different jobs in each timeline, people who have different relationships. Even people I don't know that well.

I wasn't quick enough in the pizza timeline to keep my friend from. Well. To save my friend's life. But I rushed over to her house in the burger timeline and talked her down. It's so weird, grieving a person you still talk to every week. Because it ended up being this kind of abstract pain. Everyone else is missing her and you're standing there like. Yeah. I have plans to see a movie with her on burger tuesday. I went to her funeral just to make sure that I saw the dead body so I could really internalize that she was gone. And I still didn't cry. It made me feel like a terrible person.

My friends never really take me all that seriously when I talk about being split like this. They kinda play along but I can tell they think it's a joke. It's whatever. But my friend's girlfriend came into my DMs one night sobbing and cry-typing and begging me to let her talk to her gf one last time. I wasn't sure it was a good idea. But I relented, and made plans to have a sort of interdimensional seance.

I could tell my friend--we'll call her Elsie, and we'll call her girlfriend Robin. I could tell Elsie was pretty awkward about it. I think she felt guilty on behalf of her other, dead self. Robin kept saying stuff like "how could you kill yourself, how could you do this to me," and I would have to say that, and Elsie was just like "I'm sorry." And it was really hard to get Robin to understand that we weren't talking to Elsie's dead spirit, we were talking to her in another timeline. I told her she didn't have to apologize, and I told Robin that guilt tripping the dead was kind of rude.

After that things went a little more smoothly, Robin asked about how Elsie's life had gone, how their relationship had progressed you know like if they were still together, things like that. Elsie said some stuff that I wouldn't have known, and Robin was like. Wow you really are talking to Elsie aren't you?

And I was just like :| yep.

Ever since then my friends keep trying to get my help with stuff. Like they'll ask me what their other self is doing, like, ok, for instance, my friend, we'll call her Jane, she wanted to ask out her crush, and she was like ok. Can you ask the burger version of my crush if she likes me back. Which kinda throws the burger version of her under the bus doesn't it!

And another of my friends wanted to know if she'd regret quitting her job, so she told me to ask the other her to quit her job, and then if it went well she'd do the same. I did ask, and she said no, obviously.

The kinda scary thing is, every once in a while I'll see some of those artifacts that I used to see, like, little tiny desynchs within each timeline. I only recently got used to being in two timelines at the same time, I don't think I can handle being in three or four. My brain's already better at handling the desynch, like, one time I managed to move my finger in two directions at once all in the pizza timeline. But I'm really scared of the desynch multiplying over time. Maybe it's inevitable, but my main strategy is just to not flip any coins for the rest of my life.