in lesbians

[kristina100000]

the lonely idgafer starts giving a fuck late at night

[nitewrighter]

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting. 

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

[pretentioussongtitle]

I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

[the-rain-monster]

I did this with a fig tree once while hungover as shit and on a walk of shame. Best damn figs I ever ate in my LIFE.

[roach-works]

when i was a teenager in san diego i was an absolutely unrepentant orange thief. climbed a fence to reach a particularly good pomegranate too. scrumping is a noble tradition of whores stretching back centuries and i won’t hear a word against it

[kingscrown666]

I understood what it meant from the context, but I had to look it up cuz no fucking way is that a real word. And

It is. Scrumping.

[athelind]

We have a pomegranate tree in our front yard. Nobody planted it. It just appeared one day, long before I moved in, and now it’s both huge and productive.

I’ve had at least two delivery drivers comment on it, and I invited them to come back when they were ripe and help themselves, because we always have far more than we can hope to deal with.

[natalieironside]

Back when I was in college I used to walk past multiple big thickets of wild grape vines on the way to and from class every day and I’m sure I woulda cracked a lot sooner than I did without my twice-daily dionysiad

Sometimes I still think abt thos grapes

[lighthouseweeper]

My best friend’s dad once stalked another dad to figure out where he was stealing avocados from

[sweatermuppet]

real question i just had to answer for my top surgery screening

[aforlorngazeintoyesterday-deact]

doomed by the narrative but not to death. doomed to survive. doomed to stay alive inside the story. doomed to never escape the narrative, not even through death. you are allowed no exit. there is no way out for you and there never was. you couldn’t die if you wanted to. the narrative has a hold on you and it won’t let go. death is too sweet a doom for you. the story has something much worse in mind. there is no way out.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I need to admit something to the US Tumblrinas. Philadelphia isn't a place to me. It's a cream cheese. You say "philadelphia" or "philly" and I immediately, and exclusively, think of the cream cheese. "Twelve people die in Philadelphia disaster" wow that must've been a Molasses Flood style event

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

No I trust the Americans, the cheese lovers, and the fans of the molasses flood to find this one on their own.

[violet-hady]

As a child I heard of a flight to Philadelphia, and basically imagined a land where everything is made from Philadelphia.

[autism-thoughts]

The anti-vax and anti-science propaganda is very real - and also, frankly I think doctors and nurses would've had an easier time getting people not to fall for it if they spent less time treating people like fucking shit

[autism-thoughts]

This post is about a lot of things but it is especially about racism, medical abuse, and eugenics

[cogentranting]

Observed today:

Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.

Girl 1: can it die?

Girl 2, in a calm happy even tone: of course. Like all living things it can and must die.

[lamignonette]

[loveridden1999]

i could never get a botox because i love looking at people with a frown & disgusted look

[tomb-mold]

im listening to this little thing called Music

[melonsnek--evildoer]

well im listening to this "little thing" called Women

[tomb-mold]

#Real

[wordfather]

something strange going on with my wip where nothing is happening because im not writing. does anyone know how to fix this

[alivehouse]

me: can i get a normal picture of a woman to draw

pose reference sites:

[ttaibhse]

love this can’t believe it only has 1 like

[boymounter]

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

[vamptits]

filtering down ao3 results from 14000 to 6 based on a single tag is foul. im sorry none of you are as enlightened as me ig.

[vamptits]

normal one. next question.

[mothgirl-is-a-gateway-drug-deac]

peer review

[propertyofjameswilson]

happy pride month everyone!!

[mark-gently]

"baby names" is a real misnomer because they're often permanent

[aheartofdawn]

there's three rules of naming babies:

what do the initials spell? (I was *this close* to being DMV)

what are the the different abbreviations/contractions/etc? (Michael Hunt, William Stroker, Richard Small, etc)

the name that sounds cute on your little gurgling bundle of joy will still be the one they have when they are an adult filling out a job application. Remember that.

[retirededgelord]

Optional Bonus: if your baby will ever have a job one day, ensure that their email address (if in the standard First Initial, Last Name format) will not be something embarrassing.

Sincerely, someone who had to email an S. Lutz (slutz).

[the-davest-of-uncles]

[twofingerswhiskey]