[9ieme]

the twelve most terrifying words in the english language are: i'm from the government and i'm here to torture you to death

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[humiliationvictim]

Minecraft caves are so dark bro…

[videolottery]

Hey so it’s come to my attention that this account is stealing my posts from like 2 years ago? Super odd behavior. Why are you trying to engagement farm on tumblr?

[humiliationvictim]

Not everyone can easily come up with ideas for things to post every day

[longshrimp]

then just don't??

[humiliationvictim]

you obviously dont have 100+ followers and need to keep them happy

[videolottery]

i didnt realize the situation you were in and i apologize for the callout

[humiliationvictim]

can youguys do me a favor and send a lot of hate mail to this user

[tonyzaret]

For the typical “gamer,” there is nothing unusual about spending upwards of 10 hours a year “gaming”

[lesbianmarrow]

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

[tunnaa-unnaa]

taking notes

[human-pet-they]

[lumsel]

i love the youtube poop "pingas" line because the joke is meant to be that it sounds like hes saying penis except it straight up doesnt. innuendo defeated. now its our special word we share together.

[phaeton-flier]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

[certified-cervid]

hit her gpt-spot by accident and she started saying we weren't just having sex, we were teaching a masterclass on pleasure

[uncharismatic-fauna]

(via Wild Green Memes for Ecological Fiends)

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

[holdoncallfailed]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

therapypilled deadbeat father: I really don't have the headspace for custody right now

[angelicguy]

i bet girls hated it in 1902 cuz you would constantly go on dates w guys who are working on an invention to present at the world fair

[choco-cheese]

been playing a lot of sudoku lately…

[adz]

[theehorsepusssy]

[thecryptkeeper]

i love women