#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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ojovivo
almost home
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Today's Document
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ellievsbear
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Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
pixel skylines
shark vs the universe
Origami Around
Noah Kahan
The Stonewall Inn
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@pretendpoultry
Well...
Given recent events in a certain part of the world, I will no longer be posting or reblogging anything even remotely erotic here. Further, I've deleted almost all of my past posts. I'm sorry to all 29 of my followers, but this is the world we live in now.
"haha these alpha trad men really just have dom/sub kinks!" i know misogyny isn't real to a lot of you guys but did you know that some people just actually do genuinely think women are inferior creatures
like if you actually threw one of these trad men into the dom/sub community, he would just be a danger to a female sub because the problem isn't really with him wanting to dominate but with the the fact that he has internalized the idea that women as a whole are not deserving of respect as equals and exist to be dominated
at some point in your life you are going to do or say something racist, sexist, or otherwise bigoted. Your goal is not perfection, your goal is to be the kind of person that the people you've hurt feel safe being honest with when that happens.
since people keep adding this kind of stuff in the notes: no, self-flagellating and making a big show of apologizing and "doing better" is extremely not the same thing as making people feel safe about telling you when you've been shitty. in fact, doing so is in many ways anathema to it.
I am once again begging you to get your hands on physical media and/or save your fave stuff OFFLINE.
Delete your ex's nudes.
Delete anyone's nudes that doesn't fuck with you anymore.
Its creepy as hell to keep nude/lewd photos of someone who has CUT OFF that kind of connection to you.
Delete them.
Be a fucking adult.
Intox Play Primer
Vet for high risk play. If you don't have the utmost trust in someone, control what you're putting in your own body and know where it all came from.
Check for interactions. Yes, this means sharing complete information about whatever medications the person getting drugged is on. No, the interactions are not always intuitive. Yes, this includes things like alcohol. Ideally, ask your doctor about interactions with whatever you're about to play with- they're trained in spotting interactions, you're probably not.
If you've checked the interactions yourself, assume you might have missed something. Even if you've gotten your doctor to check, be aware they might have missed something. I once caught a potassium deficiency issue in someone's existing medication that their doctor prescribed them.
ROUND 1- Use it for its own sake before you play with it. Spend the time together and set yourself up for success: easy access to food, water, comfort media, and comfortable places to sit and lie down. Know how long it should last. Get someone who's used it before to tripsit if you can. Don't give yourself any tasks that involve new skills. Be ready to offer yourself or your partner a redirect from negative or anxious trains of thought.
Know what a good time on your drug physically looks and feels like. This is crucial, because things might go sideways in a way you're not expecting. Don't just be watching for specific signs of an overdose (though those are worth keeping in mind too)- if something seems wrong, get help. Seconds matter and you're probably not a professional.
Similarly: if the drug is at all sedative, or a downer, or long-lasting, and they're unconscious before it's out of their system, check for breathing and check for pulse. Also, your risk profile is your own, but I don't fuck around with hard sedatives- there's too fine a line between which body systems they shut down.
Start with a low-to-standard dose, and adjust doses for any relevant interactions (e.g. estradiol approximately halves liver tolerance [alcohol, weed, diphenhydramine], SSRIs approximately double psychedelic tolerance).
In order to avoid dependence issues, I wait a default of two weeks between recreational uses of any drug. (I only count caffeine here if I'm having more than two cups of tea in a day.)
ROUND 2- Play with it scripted and above board before you play with it in an explicitly cnc way. Your communication and mental state will have shifted, and you'll need to learn to accommodate that; make sure you try things out without added communication barriers first. Also, make sure to talk about how everything went afterwards when you're both sober!
If you're going to adjust doses, do it slowly and carefully. Most easily accessible recreational drugs can be incremented by half the standard dose. Some drugs are incredibly sensitive to fine adjustments; this is why Fentanyl, for example, is so dangerous and not recommended to use.
ROUND 3- Don't get comfortable. Try to have as peaceful and relaxed an experience as you want, and keep an eye on things as you play with different emotional states- but DEFINITELY continue to keep an eye on safety. It doesn't stop being a concern because you've done it once and everything went fine.
ETA- Mind how drugs affect things like pain tolerance! You might miss important signals from your body. Also, pay attention to overlap with your neurotype when planning and risk profiling. You might desire or achieve different effects depending on your own specific brain.
@bubblegumgothglados inspired by an ask I saw you get
ETA- @vekarin-striae mentioned that pharmacists are often cheaper, more specialized, and less invasive to talk to about drug interactions.
Yeah this is great advice, thank you
If I started a list of guides/ primers not written by me could I please include this?
You'd actually be surprised how little doctors know about recreational drug interactions. Pharmacts have better training on this but both are only trained on prescription drugs.
Alcohol is not only a factor: its one of the worst offenders for having numerous dangerous interactions.
If someone becomes unconscious unexpectedly you also need to roll them on their side in case they vomit. Do not leave them alone until they are through it.
SSRIs may cause drugs not to work, but that doesn't make it safe to take more. Seratonin syndrome is deadly, and it will hurt the whole time.
MAOIs have similar risks
Many over the counter cold medicines include DXM which act on seratonin and carry similar risks. (In general, don't mix things that inhibit seratonin with things that generate excess seratonin.)
Erowid.org is your friend: they have dose amounts, onset times, interaction information as well as detailed accounts of others experiences.
Dancesafe.org is your friend. They have test kits, narcan, and a wealth of other harm reduction tools.
Another good source about recreational drugs (how they work, interactions, etc.) is psychonautwiki.org. There's also an app, PsychonautWiki Journal, which can be used to keep track of your drugs intake.
Also, if you're planning to take multiple doses (only recommended for certain drugs): make a clear and well-informed plan and stick to it. (Some drugs may give you the urge to redose more than you planned/is healthy.) And keep track of time between doses! Set a timer for the next dose and stick to that. (Time experience is altered by most drugs, and redosing at the wrong moment can be dangerous (too soon) or pointless (too late).)
More good additions!
Get rid of your fucking Ring cameras holy shit. That was one of the most chilling ads I’ve ever seen
😰😰😰😰😰
People: Ring is using their cameras to spy on people
Other people: You're being dramatic
Ring: No, we're definitely doing that, which is why it's in our ads
Heads up my trans and queer friends, do not participate in this study. Spread the word to stay away;
Skeet from Alejandra Caraballo that says: If you see this, don't participate. It's a rigged study by Lisa Littman and unethical researcher J. Michael Bailey meant to undermine access to care. Spread the word.
here's an article about this. any statistics of this study are extremely likely to be nitpicked or outright edited for whatever narrative they want to push with it. (specifically, it's likely they're fishing for "evidence" of "rapid-onset gender dysphoria".)
Kink 101 establishes as a foundation that this is sexual improv, and if that makes you feel cringe or whatever then get over it. Essentially these are agreed upon bits with certain understood risks that we all take on together because we want to. "The Heel is pretending to be a bad guy, but it's for show, see?" is ultimately true.
But Kink 202 recognizes that most people often feel as if the actor's sorrow and joy are real, even if we cognitively know we're watching a play. That's why drama and theater remain compelling since the invention of language. So, when you play-pretend the heel or slaughtered lamb or naughty child or whatever, you are borrowing the story's psyche. Not totally, not forever, not because you agree, but because the performance serves us. Often it gets us off, but it also might provide catharsis, validation, closure, etc. In that way it is "real" the way tears and laughter in response to a story are real.
Critical thinking checkpoint: how real do you think "tears and laughter in response to a story" actually are? In your experience, do you get totally absorbed in stories or is that rather difficult for you? How does that compare to your peers? How might the variation in this "realness" inform someone's risks and benefits in partaking in sexual drama?
This is all to say that at the 202 level, I don't have a prescribed answer or rule to recommend. You have to identify what works for you, what is or isn't good or safe for you, what level of damage is actually okay. Humans have the right to do things that aren't great for them! But more than that, sexual drama can be transformative and "real" if you want to make that a part of it for you.
deadass why is my fyp just full of transandrophobia shit? Like i can be scrolling for FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT and it’s just more transandrophobia from like two maybe three accounts. Where is my art, my mpreg, my nature stuff, my anime crap?! I DONT FUCKING CARE WHAT SOME DAMN BITCH THINKS ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE ME!
Anyone else getting this?
Fun fact: if you, as an adult, tell miserable children that their youth is the best that life will ever be, and that it's all just downhill from there, there's a percentage of them who will hear this and think "well, I guess I better kill myself before that happens." And a certain percentage of those will proceed to do that and succeed.
Anyway what I'm saying is that any time you feel tempted to say that, you should instead consider shutting the fuck up. Just because you peaked at 16 doesn't mean anyone else did. Most peoples' lives get better than that.
I'm much happier in my 30s than any time before.
Sure, some fucked up shit happens, but that was true in my twenties and teens too. (School. Sucked. So. Bad. Being a teenager was hard.)
My physical health is worse, I have more complicated issues to deal with, and I sometimes have a lot less free time. That sucks, but it's hugely outweighed by the things that let me enjoy and appreciate living. Like getting my mental health partially sorted out, transition, polyamory, finding friends who are my kind of freak, and learning to communicate very directly.
(Those things aren't always easy, they can take a while to work well. So don't despair if it doesn't help quickly. That's why I say I'm so happy in my 30s, it took time. I started most of them in my 20s, and my life has been gradually getting much better.)
Don't kill yourself. I'm glad I didn't.
Help a trans boy escape forced marriage!!
Hi guys! A bit of a different tune from my usual tune but my abusive parents have been getting worse recently, including raising the possibility of marrying me off as soon as I graduate HIGH SCHOOL (I'm 17).
In order to avoid this I'm planning to leave to go to University this year I'll need to be able to pay my way through year 1 before I can apply for estrangement scholarships.
Please help!!!
Support Amir
Yall please help this guy. He's one of my best friends and is also a moron who almost doxxed himself, he will NOT survive forced marriage people 😭😭😭
i saw ur pinned omg it's a shit site we live in
It really is. I still lurk here and share safety related posts, but the situation in my part of the world seems to get more sketchy every week. I hope you are safe and have a supportive network wherever you are.
Hypnosis kink is NOT for minors.
Smarten the fuck up.
There has been an increase in accounts of underage users here using #hypnosis and and other related tags lately.
Not only should we not interact with them, but when you see them, they need to be blocked.
Hypnosis kink is already a fragile and obscure community with a lot of criticism, documented cases of abuse, and skeptics.
Hypnosis kink already carries a bad reputation and is not always welcome among kink circles, munches and conventions.
Ask yourself why.
Hypnokinksters have to be stewards in improving things, which takes time, and a consistent set of standards.
Do not support any sexual interactions with minors. Do not protect the people who are looking for those kinds of interactions. They are not welcome.
Be safe.
Hey, fat people deserve to have fun and get their needs met even if they’re the least healthy mf you know. Fat people deserve proper medical care, and carbs, and to wear shorts and so many more things! EVEN IF THEY ARE UNWELL AND ESPECIALLY IF THAT UNWELLNESS IS DUE TO THEIR WEIGHT!!! Fat people deserve the world and more. Not just the healthy fats or attractive fats or small fats or fats that are fat because of medication or disability.
skinny people please reblog this one
Everyone reblog this one
Haven't seen anyone talking about it here, but vocal transfeminist and writer Tara Knight has been sent a threat from the fbi insisting that she stop speaking about "radical gender ideology" and get rid of the past 3 years of her work.
A black trans woman is getting personally threatened by the fbi for being a transfeminist. What the fuck. Hopefully this gets more reach than my usual posts so that people who are able to can support her.
Here’s her latest post about it.
[Transcript: So as you all have likely heard I was forwarded a letter from the FBI informing me that my work and my platform and everything I’ve built over the past three years has to go, um, for propagating what they are calling ‘radical gender ideology’. Um, this comes from Trump Executive order, um basically saying I’m a propagandist for domestic… september eleventh… thing. Um, I would… I— I’ll just say, point blank, short period. I have no intentions of stopping anything. Maybe to my detriment but I’ve never been the smartest one. That’s— all I’m gonna say on this.]
Just as I was writing that transcript she posted this—
[Transcript: So I was told and informed that it’s probably in my best interest to tell all of you where you can find me in the event that I get deleted because having a platform is probably the only thing that will keep… everything okay, if you will. So I will provide the links and ads to my TikTok, my Substack, my Bluesky, the like. You’ll be able to find me there in the event… y’know. Y’know.]
TikTok: @ bundleof.styx
Bluesky: @ bundleofstyxx.bsky.social
Substack: @ bundleofstyxx
Support Tara Knight
^ just putting this here along with the transcripts, please support her if you can
Dr. Alan Hart, a trans man from the USA who pioneered the use of X-ray photography in tuberculosis detection (saving countless lives according to researchers), was "reclaimed" by the lesbian community after his death in 1962, which means he was deadnamed and described as "a women loving woman who had to transition because at the time transsexualism was a quick medicine against sexism and homophobia" by numerous gay and lesbian associations and activists (including Jonathan Ned Katz whom I just quoted and who received many awards for his contributions to... I don't know, transphobia against trans men I guess), even though his widow always expressed how offensive it was to both her and her husband to refer to them as lesbians.
Hart was on testosterone, legally changed his name, and had gotten a hysterectomy (that was described as "unfortunate" by the Right to Privacy gay and lesbian political action committee), making him the first documented trans man to transition in the USA, yet he was characterized as a lesbian woman because cis gays and lesbians had the nerve (when do they NOT have the nerve, dare I say) to think they had the right to "honor [his] life as a woman" by having fundraiser dinners with his deadname attached to them, having college lectures where they talked about him as a lesbian hero, and using she pronouns for him until 2000. The USAmerican trans community, including trans activist Lou Sullivan, had to fight to defend Hart's identity and to have his manhood recognized by the wider community by protesting these lectures and dinners and having a conversation with the Portland chapter of the Lesbian Avengers association, which ended up having a favorable response and joining the trans community in the battle.
I want to end this by reporting the words of Candice Hellen Brown, a trans woman from Portland who wrote a letter to Just Out magazine in 1994 defending Hart's transness:
The Right to Privacy Political Action Committee in Oregon has a big fundraiser every year that is called the [deadname] Hart Dinner. When asked if I am going, I indignantly answer, "Not until they stop using the wrong name and gender for one of our heroes!" His name is Alan [. . .] He never wavered from his identity as a man, and upon his death, his widow continued to insist that he was a man. Why would such a straight man be called a lesbian by the gay community when today we would certainly call him a female-to-male transsexual? [. . .] He was transsexual or, at least, a transgenderist - a true pioneer. One who is seen as a hero by today's transsexual community. Please don't let him be taken away from us by allowing his old name to be used as though it were a badge of honor.
Think about this story every time the "trans men never contributed to anything in history" discourse resurfaces again. If this can happen to a famous historical figure from the USA and from a relatively recent time who medically transitioned and was explicitly out as a trans man, imagine how many others from other countries, historical periods, and situations have been erased or "reclaimed".
https://thetransgenderdictionary.com/in_memoriam#alan_l_hart
