A car crash or a drowning
I feel as if I would rather drown. To slowly have everything taken from me, for it to happen so slowly but yet so fast I cannot tell until its too late. I think I'd rather starve myself of air, feel my heart shut down to any help. Feel my body give up. Feel everything happening outside of my control because really... what could I have done?
A car crash into a dam is what we feel like. A sharp crash and then the feeling of plummeting. As the car sinks sometimes its hard to remember if the crash was really important. How big it really was or if it was avoidable. Because in the end i doesnt matter. We are sinking to the bottom and I am the only one struggling for air.
You are just sitting there smiling as the car fills up with me inside. Reminding me that you wanted the crash, that you pulled the handbrake. But you didn't forsee the water. It seems an incovenience to you. You're gonna be cold and wet when you get out. You're gonna be out of breathe. But you'll buy a new car. You'll enjoy trips without me.
But I will be trapped, trying to decide whether I'm an idiot for thinking you might pull me out.
