projectrallus

My name's Joshua Hensley, I'm a photographer and filmmaker and I love making friends so message me!

[worldstrangeweb]

deep dream

[existentialterror]

The transition from a relatively normal environment into the Deep Dream fucks me up. I love this.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m surprised nobody’s used this thing to make horror games yet

[wildlifewednesdays]

A porcupine’s Halloween present (+ original sound effects)

[docwithtardisfez]

I had no idea giant porcupines made fucking precious sounds

[11213372-deactivated20160412]

[nightonblogmountain]

THAT’S THE SOUND IT MAKES!?!?!?

UN-BE-FUCKING-LIEVABLE 

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

We got asked if this is cute and okay. I can very happily say yes, this is stupid cute and those are happy porcupine noises. 

One of my favorite things about doing zoo work was all the noises you never realize the animals make when they’re excited or interested in a new thing. Coatimundis squeak and snuffle, and giant porcupines make that sound. 

[typhoidmeri]

Omgggg the sounds.

[gigi-tastic]

Teddy is back on my dash and all is right with the world

[bears-official]

WE ALMOST TO OCTOBRE POST OF PUNKINBEARS

[vulcandroid]

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

[roachpatrol]

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

[lilian-cho]

@sineala

[star-lord]

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

[moonsofavalon]

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

[evilminji]

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

[lierdumoa]

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

[adreadfulidea-deactivated202402]

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

[kaijuerotica]

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

[tanukiham]

actual footage of first contact makeouts

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

[explorerrowan]

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

[zinglebert-bembledack]

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

[gallifreyanwriter]

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

[hazeldomain]

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job 

[catasters]

[vladtheunfollower]

when you wake up from a 4 hour afternoon nap

[filibusterfrog]

awakened shrub for president

[canmom]

MP1: audio codec and container format

MP2: audio codec and container format

MP3: audio codec and container format

MP4: video codec and container format

MP5: actually, this one’s a gun

[greatnorthernofficial]

hold up, I made this a while ago.

The MP line of product is very diverse 

[docincredible]

MP11

Keyboard.

MP12

Robot toy.

MP13

Preamp.

MP14

Commuter train.

MP15

ANOTHER FUCKING GUN.

[thyrell]

do i really gotta watch all of these before getting into mob psycho 100

[polyglotplatypus]

my weirdest hobby is re-creating memes in html so i have a crisp, HQ version of them to use and edit whenever i need

[hell-and-pepsi]

you’re doing god’s work here

[polyglotplatypus]

meme restoration. my hobby is called meme restoration

[norwayspruce]

Im sorry I cant take this meme it’s counterfeit

[doodliverr]

Baby 

[thatsbelievable]

[electronicgallery]

Bioluminescence series by Rob Rey

(Rob Rey’s Tumblr)

[kenkuarchive]

This is so goddamn beautiful

[wumblr]

finally, some good news: 

“snail watches drifting” rated “genuine, undoctored” by snopes

[trekghost-blog]

[apple-duty]

This will never not be funny

[weloveshortvideos]

[thelesseroftwo]

Is Russia even real

[numinous-queer]

I think it is necessary for me to transcribe what she’s saying because it is EXACTLY how I babytalk to my cat:

“Oh Stepa! So little – little Stepa! My little kiss, where’s my little kiss?? Where are my little fingers? Where are my little legs? Where are my little paws? Stepa!” *shakes his paw* “Say hello! Hello my little one! Hello!” *lies down on him* “Oh how nice, how warm. Good boy…”

[sciuridyke]

to be clear, this bear is named the russian equivalent of “steve”

[somecutething]

[donotusetheinternet-deactivated]

video description: a tiny, tubby orange and white kitten is rolling around on a patterned blanket. someone approaches him with an appropriately small brush and attempts to groom him, succeeding in brushing his side and tummy but then having to field his clumsy attempts at smacking the brush. he is so cute it is criminal.

[welcometoyouredoom]

[notpulpcovers]

You shall reign as Queen of the Lizard Men! https://flic.kr/p/2h3LJPC

[carbink]

early Destiny concept art FUCKS