It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

if i look back, i am lost
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
The Stonewall Inn
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@pumakuma
It's my 5 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
I'm currently missing my friends and missing them made me think of their Yu-Gi-Oh! streams they did every Sunday. I asked ChatGPT what if the anime actually followed the rules of the card game and this section of the answer has me in tears:
"I activate my Trap Card!" becomes much less dramatic
One of the anime's favorite tricks is activating cards at moments when the actual game wouldn't permit it.
Under strict rules, every dramatic interruption would have to respect activation timing, Spell Speed, chains, targeting restrictions, costs, and card text.
Villain:
"NOW I ACTIVATE—"
Judge:
"You missed the timing."
"...What?"
"You missed the activation window."
"But I was giving my speech!"
"That's unfortunate."
This would probably be the funniest recurring joke in the entire series.
The Misadventures of Silas Wayne
The arrangement had taken weeks to finalize.
Bruce had insisted on neutral ground.
Talia had agreed.
Damian had accepted with little enthusiasm.
───
The café sat on a quiet corner of Gotham, its large windows overlooking a tree-lined street. It was one of the few places in the city where Damian could almost forget he was a Wayne—or an al Ghul.
Almost.
Talia smiled as the waiter set down two cups of tea.
"You've grown."
Damian raised an eyebrow.
"People generally do."
She gave a soft laugh.
"I've missed your wit."
Damian stirred his tea.
"I assumed this meeting was to discuss something more substantial."
"It is."
Talia's expression softened.
"I wished to see my son."
For a while, the conversation remained surprisingly ordinary. They spoke of Damian's studies. His art, his fencing, and even Titus received several minutes of discussion.
For once, there were no assassins.
No missions.
No League business.
Just mother and son.
───
Then Damian looked toward the café entrance.
"...Impossible."
Across the sidewalk...
A tiny figure waddled determinedly along the pavement.
Silas.
His little legs worked overtime beneath the weight of a plush penguin nearly as large as he was.
The enormous stuffed bird obscured half of his face.
Every few steps he stumbled...
Adjusted the plush...
And continued marching with absolute determination.
Damian blinked.
"...Silas?"
Talia followed his gaze.
"A child?"
"My younger brother."
Talia studied the toddler.
"He appears... committed."
Silas hugged the plush tighter and continued his slow march toward the café.
───
Damian frowned.
"Where is Selina?"
Silas was never left unattended.
Never.
His eyes scanned the street.
No Selina.
No Bruce.
No Alfred.
No Harley.
Something felt wrong.
───
Then he saw them.
Four men in dark suits rounded the corner.
Another stepped out of a parked sedan.
Each wore purple ties and carried concealed weapons beneath their jackets.
Walking calmly behind them with an umbrella tucked beneath one arm was Gotham crime boss, the Penguin.
Oswald Cobblepot smiled pleasantly.
"There he is."
Silas looked over his shoulder.
His blue eyes widened.
Then he clutched the giant plush penguin even tighter.
Instead of dropping it...
He waddled faster.
Which, for a toddler carrying a toy almost his own size, wasn't particularly fast.
───
One of Penguin's henchmen called out, "Easy now, kid. Mr. Cobblepot just wants his property back."
Another laughed.
"He's stubborn."
Penguin sighed theatrically.
"It was intended as a gift display."
"He simply picked it up and wandered away."
He tapped his umbrella against the sidewalk.
"I would appreciate its return."
Silas answered with an indignant little squeak and hugged the plush as if it were the greatest treasure in Gotham.
───
Damian was already on his feet.
Talia noticed the change in his posture immediately.
"You know those men."
"They work for Penguin."
"And they're following Silas."
Without another word, Damian headed for the door.
Talia rose with him.
"You intend to intervene."
"I intend," Damian replied evenly, "to ensure my brother is not cornered by armed criminals."
───
Outside, Silas spotted Damian.
His entire face lit up.
"Dami!"
The plush penguin nearly tipped him over as he broke into an enthusiastic toddler run.
"Dami!"
Damian knelt just as Silas barreled into him, the oversized toy squashing them both slightly.
Damian steadied his little brother with one arm.
"You appear to have acquired... a rather large penguin."
Silas nodded proudly.
"Mine."
Penguin and his men stopped several yards away.
Cobblepot adjusted his monocle.
"Young Master Wayne."
"How delightful."
Damian rose slowly, placing himself between Silas and the approaching men.
Behind him, Talia stepped onto the sidewalk, her posture calm but unmistakably dangerous.
She took in the scene with a single glance: a toddler clutching an oversized stuffed penguin, her son standing protectively before him, and Gotham gangsters closing in.
Her voice was cool.
"I suggest," she said, "that you explain why armed men are pursuing a very small child over a stuffed toy."
Penguin's smile faltered for the briefest moment.
He had expected to negotiate with a lost child.
Instead, he now faced Damian Wayne...
and the daughter of Ra's al Ghul.
The cheerful afternoon at the café had just become considerably more complicated.
The street fell quiet.
Even Penguin's men stopped shifting their weight.
Silas remained safely behind Damian, still hugging the oversized plush penguin with all the determination his little arms could manage.
Damian knelt to meet his little brother at eye level.
"Silas."
His voice was calm.
"Tell me what happened."
Silas puffed out his cheeks, trying very hard to organize his thoughts.
He pointed back toward the street.
"Walk."
Damian nodded.
"You were walking."
Silas nodded enthusiastically.
"Walk!"
Then he pointed at the plush penguin.
"Birb."
"The penguin," Damian translated.
Silas beamed.
"Mine."
Talia watched with quiet fascination. For someone so young, Silas was clearly trying his absolute hardest to explain.
Damian continued patiently.
"And then?"
Silas's smile faded.
He held both tiny hands apart, making a rough square shape.
"...Box."
Damian's expression sharpened.
"A box?"
Silas nodded vigorously.
"Box!"
He pointed toward himself.
"Silas."
Then he shoved one tiny hand into the other as if placing something inside.
"In."
"You were put inside the box?"
Another energetic nod.
"In!"
Silas frowned dramatically.
"No like."
Harsh little shake of his head.
"No."
He then mimed pushing upward with both hands.
"Dark."
Talia's eyes narrowed.
The playful atmosphere vanished.
Damian's voice remained composed, but it had gone noticeably colder.
"You were confined."
Silas nodded.
Then he spread his arms wide, imitating the opening of something.
"Open!"
He threw both hands upward.
"Run!"
His tiny legs demonstrated with an exaggerated toddler waddle.
"Waddle, waddle!"
Despite the seriousness of the story, one of the café patrons covered a smile.
Silas continued.
"Birb..."
He hugged the stuffed penguin tighter.
"...mine."
Finally he pointed directly at Penguin.
"He..."
Silas searched for the word.
"...mad."
A tiny finger wagged accusingly.
"Mad!"
Silence.
Damian slowly stood.
He looked at Cobblepot.
"You had my brother placed in a box."
Penguin raised both gloved hands.
"My dear boy, I instructed no such thing."
His pleasant smile disappeared as he looked sideways at one of his henchmen.
"...Explain."
One of the men swallowed.
"We—we just wanted the toy back."
"So?"
"He wouldn't let go."
Another henchman spoke up nervously.
"We thought... if we set him in one of the shipping crates for a minute, he'd drop it."
Penguin's umbrella struck the pavement with a sharp crack.
"You."
His voice was dangerously quiet.
"...Placed a Wayne child..."
Another tap.
"...Inside one of my merchandise crates?"
The henchmen collectively realized they had said far too much.
"It wasn't supposed to—"
Penguin glared.
"You absolute idiots."
"I sell antiques."
"I run a criminal enterprise."
"I do not kidnap toddlers."
Damian's emerald-green eyes hardened.
"The distinction is of little comfort."
Beside him, Talia folded her arms.
There was no anger on her face.
Only the terrifying stillness that came before action.
"You imprisoned a child."
Her gaze swept across the group of men.
"And frightened him."
Silas tugged gently on Damian's pant leg.
Damian looked down.
Silas leaned close and whispered as quietly as a toddler could:
"...Dami..."
"Scawy."
Those single words landed harder than anything else he had said.
Damian's jaw clenched.
He rested a reassuring hand on Silas's shoulder.
"No one will put you in another box."
Silas looked up at him with complete trust.
"'Kay."
Behind them, Penguin removed his monocle and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I find myself in the exceedingly rare position of agreeing with the Waynes."
He looked at the terrified henchmen.
"You have embarrassed my organization..."
His glare became icy.
"...and endangered one of Gotham's most well-connected children."
The men visibly paled.
"I suspect," Penguin said dryly, "your employment with me has just come to a rather abrupt conclusion."
Silas, meanwhile, remained blissfully focused on the only outcome that mattered to him.
He squeezed the giant plush penguin.
"Mine."
Damian glanced at the toy, then at Penguin.
After a brief pause, Cobblepot sighed.
"Keep it."
Silas's face lit up with an enormous smile.
"'Tank oo!"
For just a moment, even Penguin couldn't help but suppress the faintest hint of a smile at the toddler's earnest gratitude—before turning back to deal with the much more serious problem of his own incompetent men.
The drive back to Wayne Manor was unusually quiet.
Silas sat securely in his child seat, hugging the enormous plush penguin so tightly that its stuffing compressed beneath his little arms.
Every few minutes he patted its beak.
"Birb."
Damian glanced back from the passenger seat.
"Yes."
"Your bird."
Silas nodded proudly.
"My birb."
Talia, driving, allowed herself the faintest smile.
"He has become quite attached."
"He has," Damian agreed.
───
At Wayne Manor...
Bruce had been pacing for nearly twenty minutes.
Selina had been searching the surrounding blocks ever since discovering Silas had wandered away while she was distracted by a staged disturbance.
Harley had joined the search within minutes.
Alfred had quietly coordinated everyone from the Manor.
The moment the security gates announced Talia's vehicle, he was already outside before Alfred could reach the front door.
The car stopped.
Bruce opened the rear door himself.
"Silas."
The toddler looked up.
"Dada!"
Bruce immediately lifted him into his arms, checking him over from head to toe.
"No injuries."
"No bruises."
He let out a slow breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"We found him wandering the streets," Damian said.
Bruce shook his head.
"What matters is that he's home."
Selina hurried down the front steps, relief washing across her face as she wrapped both Bruce and Silas in a careful embrace.
"My little kitten..."
Silas reached over and touched her nose.
"Mama."
Selina laughed softly.
"I'm right here."
───
Inside the manor, everyone gradually relaxed.
Dick had arrived.
Tim closed the case file he'd been pretending to read.
Harley appeared moments later, nearly knocking over a lamp in her rush.
"My little godson!"
Silas squealed happily.
"'Arley!"
She gasped dramatically.
"He almost said my name!"
Tim smirked.
"I think that counts."
───
As everyone settled into the sitting room, Alfred accepted the oversized plush penguin.
"I daresay this fellow is nearly Master Silas's size."
Silas immediately reached for it.
"No!"
"My birb."
Alfred smiled and handed it back.
"My apologies."
───
Silas turned the plush over in his lap.
His tiny fingers explored every seam with intense concentration.
He paused.
"Hmm?"
Damian noticed first.
"What have you found?"
Silas poked a finger into the feathers on the toy's back.
"There."
Everyone leaned in.
Hidden beneath the fabric was a small zipper, cleverly concealed among the stitching.
Selina frowned.
"That's... odd."
Bruce gently took the toy.
"That is unusual."
He carefully pulled the zipper open.
For a moment...
Nothing happened.
Then—
Several tightly wrapped bundles slid out onto the rug.
Followed by more.
And more.
Until stacks of cash spilled across the floor.
The room fell silent.
Dick blinked.
"...Well."
Tim stared.
"That's... a lot of money."
Harley whistled.
"I knew that penguin looked suspicious."
Alfred adjusted his glasses.
"It would appear the toy was being used as a hiding place."
Bruce crouched beside the bundles, examining them without disturbing the overall arrangement.
"They're wrapped professionally."
"No bank straps."
"No identifying marks."
Selina folded her arms.
"So that explains why Penguin's men were so desperate to get it back."
Damian nodded.
"They weren't chasing Silas because of the toy."
"They were chasing what was hidden inside it."
Silas looked down at the money.
Then back at his penguin.
Confused, he reached into the still-open zipper and pulled out...
A single chocolate coin wrapped in gold foil.
His eyes sparkled.
"Money!"
Everyone looked at him.
Silas proudly held up the chocolate coin as though he'd discovered the real treasure.
Dick laughed first.
"Oh, buddy..."
Harley doubled over.
"He ignored all the cash and found the candy!"
Even Bruce couldn't suppress a smile.
"You've got your priorities straight."
Silas carefully unwrapped the chocolate coin and held it toward Bruce.
"Dada."
Bruce accepted it.
"You're sharing?"
Silas nodded solemnly.
"Share."
Bruce broke the chocolate in half and handed one piece back.
"Then we'll share."
The tension in the room eased into warm laughter.
Bruce's attention soon returned to the stacks of cash.
"We'll turn this over as evidence. If it's connected to Penguin's operation, it may help dismantle part of his network."
Selina nodded in agreement.
"And if Oswald really didn't know his own men hid money in a child's toy, he's going to have some very uncomfortable conversations."
Silas, blissfully unaware of the criminal implications, hugged his now much lighter plush penguin.
"My birb."
Bruce smiled as he looked down at his son.
"Yes," he said softly.
"Your penguin."
Silas Wayne is an OC created by @pumakuma
Silas Meets the Justice League
The Watchtower was unusually quiet.
Not because there wasn't a crisis.
Because Batman had brought a baby.
Six-month-old Silas Wayne sat comfortably in Bruce's arms wearing a tiny black onesie with little bat ears stitched onto the hood. His wide blue eyes took in every flashing monitor, every blinking console, and every superhero with complete fascination.
The entire Justice League had stopped working.
"...Is that...?" Barry Allen whispered.
Bruce nodded once.
"My son."
Within seconds, every available League member had gathered.
───
"Dibs!" Barry declared.
"No," Bruce answered flatly.
"You didn't even let me finish."
"No."
Barry sighed dramatically.
───
Clark Kent smiled warmly as he stepped forward.
"So this is Silas."
Bruce carefully handed the infant over.
Silas looked up at the towering Kryptonian.
He reached out...
Grabbed Clark's chin...
And began examining his face with complete seriousness.
Clark chuckled.
"He's... studying me?"
Diana smiled knowingly.
"Children are far more observant than adults."
Silas poked Clark's cheek.
Then his nose.
Then his jawline.
"Hmm."
The tiny sound made everyone laugh.
───
Then Bruce walked around behind Clark.
Silas looked from Clark...
To Bruce...
Back to Clark...
Then back again.
His little eyebrows furrowed.
The room grew quiet.
Bruce and Clark exchanged confused glances.
Silas leaned farther out of Clark's arms toward Bruce.
Then back toward Clark.
Then Bruce.
Again.
Again.
Like he was comparing them.
Barry blinked.
"...Why does it look like he's running facial recognition software?"
Cyborg quietly replied,
"I'm honestly not convinced he isn't."
───
Silas suddenly reached toward Bruce.
Bruce took him.
The baby immediately patted Bruce's face.
"Cape."
Then Silas pointed toward Clark.
"Cape."
Everyone chuckled.
"So they both wear capes," Arthur grinned.
Silas shook his head.
No.
He reached up and touched Bruce's cowl.
Then he touched Bruce's chin.
Then Bruce's nose.
Then his eyes.
Bruce remained perfectly still.
Silas turned.
Repeated the exact same process on Clark.
The League watched in silence.
Finally...
Silas gently poked Bruce's forehead.
"Dada."
Bruce's stoic expression softened almost imperceptibly.
Then Silas poked Clark's forehead.
"Soup."
Silence.
Clark blinked.
"...Soup?"
Barry exploded into laughter.
"He called Superman 'Soup!'"
Arthur doubled over.
"I am never letting you live that down."
Even Diana had to hide a smile behind her hand.
Clark sighed dramatically.
"I suppose it could've been worse."
"It absolutely could have," Hal Jordan grinned.
"At least he didn't call you 'Farm Boy.'"
───
But Batman was thinking.
Silas had never met Clark before today.
Bruce had never removed the cowl in front of him while Clark was nearby.
There should have been no way...
Absolutely no way...
For a six-month-old infant to distinguish them.
Yet Silas hadn't hesitated.
Not even for a second.
───
J'onn J'onzz tilted his head.
"Interesting."
Bruce looked over.
"What?"
"I sensed no confusion in his thoughts."
Bruce frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"He recognizes that you and Clark share remarkably similar facial structures."
Clark nodded.
"People have commented on that before."
J'onn continued.
"But Silas identified the subtle differences immediately."
Barry stared.
"He's six months old!"
───
Batman looked down at his son.
"Silas."
The baby looked up.
Bruce pointed to himself.
"Who am I?"
Silas smiled.
"Dada."
Bruce pointed toward Clark.
"And him?"
Silas immediately smiled at the Kryptonian.
"Soup."
Clark sighed.
"...I think that's permanent now."
"It absolutely is," Barry laughed.
───
To test something, Diana gently took Silas into her arms.
"Silas."
She pointed toward Bruce.
"Who is he?"
"Dada."
She pointed toward Clark.
"Who is he?"
"Soup."
No hesitation.
No mistakes.
Not once.
───
Barry decided to make things harder.
He quickly switched places with Clark while Bruce turned around.
Then Bruce stepped back beside Clark.
"Okay, buddy."
Barry crouched.
"Where's Batman?"
Silas immediately reached toward Bruce.
"And Superman?"
Straight toward Clark.
Barry blinked.
"Impossible."
───
Cyborg quietly activated a facial analysis program.
He scanned Bruce.
Clark.
Then compared the results.
"Ninety-two percent facial similarity."
Hal looked over.
"So?"
"The average adult has to rely on contextual clues to tell them apart at first glance."
"And Silas?"
Victor slowly looked up from the screen.
"He isn't using contextual clues."
Bruce folded his arms.
"What is he using?"
Victor simply shrugged.
"I... genuinely don't know."
───
Clark smiled as Silas happily reached for him again.
"You know..."
Clark gently bounced the baby.
"I think he's just very observant."
Silas reached up.
Pulled lightly on Clark's glasses.
Then looked toward Bruce.
Then Clark again.
He giggled.
As if amused that everyone else found it difficult.
───
As the meeting wrapped up, the League watched Bruce secure Silas into a small carrier against his chest.
Barry shook his head.
"I've accepted aliens."
Arthur nodded.
"Magic."
Diana added, "Gods."
Victor continued, "Time travel."
Hal sighed.
"But a six-month-old who can instantly tell Batman and Superman apart?"
Barry threw his hands into the air.
"That's somehow the weirdest thing I've seen all week."
Bruce allowed himself the faintest hint of a smile.
Silas looked up at him, patted his chest once, and proudly declared,
"Dada."
Then he looked over Bruce's shoulder at Clark, waved enthusiastically, and called out,
"Soup!"
The Watchtower erupted into laughter once more, while Clark could only smile and accept that, for the foreseeable future, the youngest member of the Wayne family had permanently renamed the Man of Steel.
Silas Wayne is an OC created by @pumakuma
Saturday morning at Wayne Manor was unusually quiet.
Bruce stood in the foyer with a cup of coffee while mentally reviewing where everyone would be that weekend.
Damian had left at dawn for Smallville to spend the weekend with Jon Kent.
Cassandra had gone into Gotham with Stephanie Brown, Harper Row, Barbara Gordon, and Claire Clover for what Stephanie had described as "a girls' weekend."
Duke was spending the day with Luke Fox.
Selina was meeting Kate, Harley, and Ivy for lunch before the four of them disappeared into Gotham for an afternoon together.
Bruce looked around the now surprisingly empty Manor.
Which left...
Dick.
Jason.
Tim.
...and Silas.
Bruce smiled.
"I'm counting on you three."
Dick saluted dramatically.
"You can trust us."
Jason nodded.
"The kid's in good hands."
Tim looked up from his laptop.
"I've already planned today's schedule."
Bruce gave each of them a long look.
"Remember."
"Silas comes first."
All three answered together.
"Of course."
Alfred, standing nearby with perfect composure, quietly hid a knowing smile.
───
Three hours later...
The group chat lit up.
Roy Harper: Mansion party tonight.
Wally West: Everybody's coming.
Conner Kent: Diamond District.
Roy: Dress nice.
Roy: No excuses.
Dick's eyes widened.
"...Oh."
Jason leaned over his shoulder.
"...No way."
Tim finally looked up.
"...That's tonight?"
───
The Diamond District.
The wealthiest neighborhood on Gotham's main island.
Historic mansions.
Luxury boutiques.
Private art galleries.
Old money.
New money.
And tonight...
One very exclusive party.
───
Dick sighed dramatically.
"We deserve one night."
Jason nodded.
"One."
Tim rubbed his forehead.
"...We can't exactly bring a two-year-old."
Silence.
Three pairs of eyes slowly turned toward Silas.
Who sat on the living room rug stacking blocks.
Completely unaware.
───
One hour later...
Operation Sneak Out had begun.
Dick prepared dinner early.
Jason turned movie night into "the best movie night ever."
Tim organized every toy Silas owned into neat little stations throughout the living room.
The plan was flawless.
Silas would stay occupied.
Fall asleep.
Alfred would already be in the Manor.
The brothers would quietly leave.
Return before midnight.
Nobody would ever know.
───
7:45 PM.
Silas yawned.
Perfect.
Dick smiled.
"See?"
Jason grinned.
"Told you."
Tim checked his watch.
"We've got this."
───
8:02 PM.
Dick quietly grabbed his suit jacket.
Jason picked up his motorcycle helmet.
Tim pocketed his phone.
The three moved silently toward the front entrance.
Dick whispered,
"...Stealth."
Jason nodded.
"Stealth."
Tim unlocked the door.
Click.
The front door slowly opened.
They slipped outside.
Closed it.
Success.
───
Inside...
Silas opened one eye.
He listened.
Silence.
He looked toward the hallway.
Then toward the front door.
Then...
He stood up.
Pacifier in place.
Tiny dinosaur pajamas.
He toddled toward the kitchen.
───
Alfred was polishing silverware when he heard tiny footsteps.
He looked down.
"Good evening, Master Silas."
Silas looked up.
"'Fwed?"
"Yes?"
Silas pointed toward the foyer.
"Bubbas..."
Alfred waited patiently.
"...gone."
Alfred blinked once.
"Gone?"
Tiny nod.
"Party."
Another blink.
"Dress up."
He pointed toward the front door.
"...Bye-bye."
Alfred was silent for exactly three seconds.
"...I see."
───
Meanwhile...
Bruce sat inside a community center in Cherry Hill, attending a fundraising meeting for neighborhood youth programs.
His phone vibrated once.
Alfred Pennyworth.
Bruce answered immediately.
"Everything alright?"
"Perfectly, sir."
Bruce relaxed slightly.
"Good."
A tiny voice suddenly echoed through the speaker.
"Dada!"
Bruce smiled instantly.
"Hello, Silas."
"'Ick..."
Bruce frowned.
"What about Dick?"
"...Jay..."
"And Jason?"
"...immy..."
Bruce sat forward.
"What about them?"
Tiny pause.
"...Gone."
Bruce looked toward the meeting organizer.
"...Gone?"
Silas nodded so enthusiastically that Alfred could hear the pacifier squeak.
"Party!"
Bruce slowly closed his eyes.
"I see."
Alfred spoke next in his usual calm tone.
"It would appear, sir..."
"...that Masters Richard, Jason, and Timothy have temporarily departed Wayne Manor despite your explicit instructions."
Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I gathered that."
"They appear to be heading toward the Diamond District."
Bruce sighed.
"Of course they are."
───
Back in the Manor...
Silas smiled proudly.
He had delivered the message.
Mission accomplished.
Alfred gently picked him up.
"You did the correct thing, Master Silas."
Silas nodded proudly.
"'Nitch."
Alfred coughed politely to hide a smile.
"I believe the preferred term is... informing."
"'Forming."
"Precisely."
───
Twenty-five minutes later...
The mansion party was in full swing.
Crystal chandeliers.
Live orchestra.
Luxury cars stretching around the block.
Dick accepted a drink.
Jason sampled the catered food.
Tim had somehow already found the host's private library.
Then...
All three phones buzzed simultaneously.
BRUCE WAYNE
No one answered.
The phones buzzed again.
Then again.
Jason slowly looked at the others.
"...He's calling."
Dick swallowed.
"...Maybe ignore it?"
Tim looked horrified.
"...You don't ignore Bruce."
Jason sighed.
"You answer."
Dick sighed dramatically before answering.
"...Hey, B?"
Bruce's voice was perfectly calm.
Too calm.
"Richard."
"...Yeah?"
"I hope you're enjoying the party."
Dick froze.
"..."
Jason slowly covered his face.
Tim whispered,
"...Silas."
Bruce continued.
"Tell Jason and Tim that I also hope they're enjoying themselves."
Jason groaned.
Tim quietly closed the book he'd been reading.
Bruce added one final sentence.
"When you return..."
There was a pause just long enough to make all three brothers nervous.
"...your little brother will be receiving ice cream for demonstrating honesty."
Another pause.
"As for the three of you..."
Bruce's tone remained perfectly even.
"...we'll discuss responsibility."
Click.
The call ended.
Silence.
Jason looked at Dick.
"...We got ratted out by a toddler."
Tim sighed.
"I knew we should've brought him."
Dick stared at the ceiling.
"You know what hurts the most?"
Jason folded his arms.
"What?"
Dick groaned.
"He didn't even hesitate."
Back at Wayne Manor, Silas sat happily in Alfred's lap with a small bowl of vanilla ice cream.
Each spoonful earned him a delighted smile.
"'Mmm!"
Alfred smiled warmly.
"You have discovered one of life's immutable truths, Master Silas."
Silas tilted his head.
"If one intends to deceive Batman..."
Alfred gave the little boy another spoonful.
"...one should never leave his youngest son behind."
Rat is an OC that belongs to @trixter-god
Mayhem & Sable are OCs that belongs to @pumakuma
Rat Achieves a New Bestie
Task Force 141 Safehouse
0800 Hours
Laswell arrived with a folder.
That alone was enough to make Price suspicious.
───
Because new folders meant one of two things:
1. New problems.
2. Expensive problems.
───
Laswell placed the folder on the table.
───
"You've got a transfer."
───
Price sighed.
───
Ghost sighed.
───
Rat perked up.
───
Rat
"Friend?"
───
Price
"You don't know that."
───
Rat
"Statistically impossible. Everyone loves me."
───
Ghost
"False."
───
Rat
"Simon, you're legally obligated to."
───
The File
Laswell opened the dossier.
───
SERGEANT HAZEL "MAYHEM" CAIN
───
Explosives Specialist.
Saboteur.
Breaching Expert.
Combat Engineer.
───
Soap immediately sat up.
"Oh no."
───
Gaz
"You know her?"
───
Soap
"Unfortunately."
───
Rat
"Fortunately?"
───
Soap
"...Both."
───
The Warning
Soap pointed at the file.
───
"She's basically a walking pipe bomb."
───
Rat
"I already like her."
───
Arrival
The safehouse door opened.
───
And in walked Hazel Cain.
───
First Impression
The first thing everyone noticed was confidence.
───
The second thing everyone noticed was the grin.
───
The third thing everyone noticed was the complete lack of fear.
───
She walked into a room containing:
• Captain Price
• Ghost
• Soap
• Rat
• Bunny
• Sable
───
And wasn't intimidated by any of them.
───
Hazel looked around and then pointed at Soap.
"Trouble."
───
Soap Pointed back.
"Tsunami."
───
Hazel
"Still alive?"
───
Soap
"Unfortunately."
───
Hazel
"Shame."
───
Rat
Already standing.
───
Rat
"...I love her."
───
First Contact
Hazel turned.
───
Saw Rat.
───
Rat
Saw Hazel.
───
Silence
The room immediately sensed danger.
───
Hazel
"You're Rat."
───
Rat
"You're Mayhem."
───
Hazel
"I've heard stories."
───
Rat
"Good stories?"
───
Hazel
"Concerning stories."
───
Rat
"Those are usually the best ones."
───
Hazel
Immediately nodded.
───
The Realization
Ghost noticed it first.
───
That look.
───
The look two chaotic people exchange when they realize they've found another one.
───
Ghost
"...No."
───
Price
"What?"
───
Ghost
"They're bonding."
───
Price
Looked over.
───
Rat & Hazel
Already laughing.
───
Price
"...God damn it."
───
The Tour
Rat volunteered, immediately.
───
Without being asked.
───
Without permission.
───
Rat
"I'll show her around."
───
Ghost
"No."
───
Rat
Already dragging Hazel away.
───
Hazel
Following willingly.
───
Ghost
"Shiloh."
───
Rat
"Bye Simon!"
───
Ghost
"...No."
───
Two Hours Later
The team discovered three things.
───
First
Hazel and Rat had become friends.
───
Actual friends.
───
Not acquaintances.
───
Not teammates.
───
Friends.
───
Second
They had already developed inside jokes.
───
Nobody knew how.
───
Third
They were terrifying together.
───
Evidence
The armory had been reorganized.
───
The training room had been modified.
───
The whiteboard now featured an elaborate flowchart labeled:
"Things We Could Blow Up (Hypothetically)."
───
Stitch
Found it first.
───
Stitch
"No."
───
Rat
"It's educational."
───
Hazel
"Science."
───
Stitch
"No."
───
Bunny's Assessment
Later that evening.
───
Bunny sat beside Sable watching the chaos unfold.
───
Bunny
"Rat found a friend."
───
Sable
"That's dangerous."
───
Bunny
"Extremely."
───
The Sister Dynamic
Within a week.
Hazel had unofficially become:
───
Rat's best friend.
Soap's second headache.
Price's newest problem.
───
And surprisingly—
Everyone's big sister.
───
Example One
Rook skipped lunch.
───
Hazel appeared with a sandwich.
───
"Eat."
───
"I'm not hungry." Rook responded
───
"That wasn't a suggestion." Hazel said
───
Example Two
Bunny climbed onto a roof, and Hazel found him.
───
"Get down." Hazel demanded
───
"No." Bunny says sticking out his tongue
───
"I have flashbangs." Hazel threatened
───
Bunny immediately got down.
───
Example Three
Sable forgot to sleep.
───
Hazel physically threw a blanket at him.
───
Sable
"...Thank you."
───
Hazel
"You're welcome."
───
The Final Verdict
One month later, Laswell checked in.
───
"How's the integration going?" Laswell questions
───
Price looked exhausted.
───
Ghost looked exhausted.
───
Soap looked exhausted.
───
Gaz looked exhausted.
───
Rat & Hazel could be heard laughing from another room.
Followed by an explosion somewhere outside.
───
Price
Without looking up:
───
"You've somehow made Rat worse."
───
Laswell questions "Worse?"
───
Ghost groans "There are two of them now."
───
Soap interjects "No."
───
Long pause.
───
Soap sighs "Rat's chaos."
───
Gaz chimes in "Hazel's mayhem."
───
Bunny
From the couch:
"Together they're a natural disaster."
───
"Category Five." Sable adds
───
Price finally sighed.
───
"Welcome to Task Force 141, Sergeant Cain."
───
From somewhere outside came Rat's voice:
───
"THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!"
───
Followed immediately by Hazel's:
───
"IT ABSOLUTELY WAS!"
───
And Price knew, with absolute certainty, that the Task Force had just gained another invaluable operator.
And another migraine.
Call of Duty OC Shenanigans
Rat belongs to @trixter-god
Wolf, Bunny, Jackson, and Stitch belong to @pumakuma
Task Force 141 Medical Wing
"Operation: Whose Teeth Are The Scariest?"
It started because Soap made the mistake of asking a question.
---
The team was gathered at a safehouse after a particularly exhausting mission.
Wolf was cleaning his pistol.
Jackson was eating an apple.
Bunny was sitting upside down on the couch for reasons nobody understood.
Soap looked between them.
Then noticed something.
Then made the mistake.
> "Hold on."
Everyone ignored him.
> "Why do all three of you have fangs?"
The room went quiet.
---
The Fang Club
Wolf slowly looked up.
Bunny blinked.
Jackson paused mid-bite.
Price immediately knew this conversation was about to become a problem.
---
Rat grinned.
> "OH MY GOD."
She stood up.
> "WE HAVE A FANG CLUB."
---
Ghost pinched the bridge of his nose.
---
The Comparison
Somehow everyone ended up gathered around the dining table.
The three suspects sat side by side.
---
Jackson bared his teeth first.
Massive canines.
Predatory.
Clearly reconstructed.
---
Soap nodded.
> "Right. Terrifying."
---
Wolf followed.
His elongated implant canines looked almost unnatural.
Like a predator trying to pass as a human.
---
Gaz physically leaned away.
> "Nope."
---
Then Bunny smiled.
A full smile.
The room froze.
---
His teeth weren't the longest.
Or the biggest.
But they were frighteningly sharp.
Like they'd been shaped by a knife maker.
---
Soap stared.
> "What the fuck."
---
Bunny shrugged.
> "Genetics."
---
Rat immediately lost it.
> "THAT'S BULLSHIT."
---
Medical Testing
The situation somehow reached Stitch.
This was the team's first mistake.
---
Because Stitch took it seriously.
---
Twenty minutes later they were inside a temporary medical room.
Equipment everywhere.
A bite-force tester had appeared.
Nobody knew where Stitch got it.
Nobody asked.
---
Price walked in.
Saw the setup.
Saw Rat taking bets.
Saw Soap holding a whiteboard.
Turned around.
Walked out.
---
Competitors
Wolf
Known Bite Force:
**770 PSI**
Previously measured.
Official record holder.
---
Wolf sat first.
Bit down.
The machine beeped.
---
**781 PSI**
---
Wolf looked mildly pleased.
Which for Wolf was equivalent to celebrating.
---
Soap wrote it down.
> WOLF
>
> 781 PSI
---
Jackson
Jackson sat next.
---
Everyone expected him to win.
He was the biggest.
Strongest.
Most muscular.
---
He bit down.
Hard.
---
The machine squealed.
---
**809 PSI**
---
The room erupted.
---
Jackson blinked.
> "Huh."
---
Soap immediately updated the board.
---
**JACKSON**
809 PSI
**WOLF**
781 PSI
---
Rat pointed dramatically.
> "THE LION TAKES THE LEAD."
---
Bunny's Turn
Everyone expected him to lose.
---
He was:
Shortest
Lightest
Smallest
---
Bunny looked confused.
> "Why am I doing this?"
---
Rat shoved him into the chair.
> "For science."
---
The Test
Bunny bit down.
Nothing happened.
---
Then his jaw flexed.
---
And flexed.
---
And flexed harder.
---
A vein appeared in his neck.
---
The machine made a concerning noise.
---
Stitch suddenly looked worried.
---
Then—
BEEP
---
The display flashed.
---
**917 PSI**
---
Silence.
Absolute silence.
---
Soap looked at the machine.
Then Bunny.
Then the machine again.
---
> "No."
---
Rat screamed.
---
Ghost actually looked surprised.
Which was arguably more shocking than the result itself.
---
Wolf stared.
---
Jackson stared.
---
Price walked back into the room.
Saw everyone staring.
Saw Bunny holding the tester.
Saw the score.
---
Turned around.
Walked back out.
---
Verification
They tested him three more times.
Results:
* 904 PSI
* 919 PSI
* 912 PSI
---
Average:
911 PSI
---
Stitch's Analysis
The medic reviewed everything.
Then sighed.
---
> "His jaw muscles are disproportionately developed."
---
Everyone stared.
---
> "Years of climbing, grip training, martial arts, and whatever insane conditioning he's done."
---
Bunny shrugged.
> "I chew ice."
---
Stitch closed his notebook.
---
> "I hate all of you."
---
Final Rankings
| Operator | Bite Force |
| -------- | ----------: |
| Bunny | **911 PSI** |
| Jackson | **809 PSI** |
| Wolf | **781 PSI** |
---
Aftermath
Rat immediately created a group chat.
**FANG GANG**
Members:
* Bunny
* Wolf
* Jackson
* Rat
---
Ghost was added somehow.
---
Ghost left.
---
Rat added him back.
---
Ghost left again.
---
Bunny changed the group icon to a smiling rabbit with vampire teeth.
---
Wolf muted the chat.
---
Jackson laughed so hard he nearly choked.
---
And for the next six months, whenever Bunny won an argument, he only had to smile and ask:
> "Remind me who's got the highest bite force again?"
To which Rat would immediately yell:
> "THE FUCKING RABBIT."
My depictions of David, Asher, Milo, and Tank
He won't support you because he's terrified of being alone. Pursue your passions, take better care of yourself, and learn everything possible. Protect your kids and teach them everything you were taught, put them in martial arts, support their passions, put money away, and it's a tough road ahead.
This just popped up on my FYP and I immediately thought of Asher. 🤣
"I look hot!" - PumaKuma
@pycth thanks again for taking time out of your schedule to draw my commission. He's a total baddie
My Total Drama OCs I had commissioned by 8liana8 on Deviantart back in from 2014
As someone who didn't have lifelong friends constantly in their life 24/7, I would kill to have a friend group like in the Redacted Universe.
Calling each other randomly, planning hangouts, working, telling gossip, randomly showing up at 3 AM with McDonald's in hand, going on spontaneous trips to theme parks, and being an unintentional therapist.
Personal Headcanons for the Redacted Audioverse
Job/Work Edition
Angel, in my mind, is a barista through and through. They started working in high school and slowly worked their way up to where they ran their own store.
Bäbe seems like they could work in a mall setting, either in a PacSun, Zumiez, Hot Topic, or GameStop.
Sweetheart feels like they're good with numbers. They were crazy smart in math and used that while looking for accountant jobs.
Darlin could either be a bouncer or a bodyguard. I feel they have a lot of bottled-up rage, and unleashing it while dealing with unruly people is a great outlet.
Lovely feels like they could be a makeup artist. Despite being a vampire, they've gotten better at applying their makeup without having a reflection.
Asher is definitely Twitch Streamer/Digital Content Creator. He is welcoming to all and he and his community take jabs at each other for shits and giggles.
Sam, I can see being a teacher. He cares for his students and helps when they're struggling. Every student enjoys his classes, and he gets great positive reviews from parents, much to the envy of other teachers.
Milo is definitely a fashionista. He does have a degree and works with fashion, hence why he knows what pairs well.
David feels like he can do anything and everything. With his personality, I feel like he would make an excellent tattoo artist. He keeps his art a secret, and some of his loyal customers let him use their body as his personal canvas because they trust his process.
Vincent works for a delivery service. I feel like driving is a sense of calm, a sense of exploration. Even with his partner in the passenger seat, he feels more relaxed.
What are your personal headcanons for the Redacted Universe if they had different jobs?
I am listening to the pillow fort audio, and now I want to make a pillow fort.
Angel, Babe, Darlin', Sweetheart, and Lovely dancing for their mates
I love that this is canon 😍