Origami Around
ellievsbear
Kaledo Art
almost home
🪼
we're not kids anymore.
Today's Document
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
RMH
cherry valley forever
izzy's playlists!
Three Goblin Art
Jules of Nature
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Xuebing Du
occasionally subtle
Product Placement
Not today Justin
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@qbertq
Help I forgot how many legs deers are supposed to have
That was your first mistake, deer aren’t actually supposed to have ANY legs!
Of course, due to a combination of them being eldritch abominations, and simply not caring, they do anyway, typically in multiples of four
Hospitals are struggling for nurses right now because people are leaving the profession entirely or leaving for temporary travel contract positions that pay well. They have been treated poorly, underpaid for the work they do, and inadequately protected this year, and they’re done.
My brother in law said they’re advertising for a position in his normal unit, offering twice his salary. But they won’t offer him extra to stay after risking his life working in the COVID unit for months, so he’s out. It’s absolutely insulting, and so many industries are going to have a major reckoning coming up.
My father retired early because they refused to hire just one person to help with the work load. They had to hire 5 people to replace him.
This is a common occurrence amongst his retired coffee group.
One lady was a head nurse that ran two floor at her hospital. They wanted her to take on more work. She agreed to do so oy if they gave her a small raise and hired an assistant for her. They refused so she retired early. They had to replace her with 20 people.
You are NOT replaceable!!! They tell you this to make you complacent to their exploration of you.
Fun fact! This sort of reckoning happened after the Black Plague, also! I'm no historian, (and history side of tumblr, please come in with the accuracy) but I did look into the history of the Black Plague for writing purposes, and in that case, it was because there were so few people left that peasants started agitating for better treatment and fairer wages, and because there were so few people who could do the work they had been doing that they were able to gain better wages and better hours. Historically, the labour shortage created by pandemics means a heightened bargaining capacity for workers of all sorts - an if there was ever a time to take advantage of knowing history, it's now. Because the thing is, in these "unprecedented times" there are precedents, and the precedent leans toward workers. During the Black Death, villages emptied, fields were left, and people migrated to find work that paid them better and offered a better way of life. Wages for lower-class workers rose drastically. In Oxfordshire; a plowman who had earned two shillings per week before the plague could command 10 shillings per week afterward. Pay rates for artisans increased, too. In Paris, wages for masons quadrupled between 1351 and 1355.
This isn't to say that the elites just let this happen, either. Laws were passed to limit wage increases, and threats were made, but the workers had economic bargaining power on their side. Labour was in such short supply that employers and landlords had to take what they could get. The people held out - and so can (and should!) YOU.
This was the start of peasant revolts, popular rebellions, and - ultimately, more labour protections, political representation for the lower classes, lower taxes, and an end to serfdom. People could afford to own their own land, the feudal system vanished, and eventually, the Renaissance would rise. In these unprecedented times, there is a precedent, and that precedent is that when workers know their worth, agitate for better and for more, when they hold out and unite, they force the elites to loosen the reigns, giving more power, autonomy, rights, and profits back into the hands of the workers, and with that freedom, society improves.
Know your worth. Know that you have bargaining power. Let's make this pandemic part of the precedent. <3
Fun Fact, I work for FedEx, and right now, most of our entry level positions, pay more than some administrative ones
[PLACES A JAR OF SEMEN ON AN ANCIENT STONE DIAS, THUNDER ROCKS THE AIR]
[A BOLT OF LIGHTNING STRIKES THE HOMONCULUS JAR, IT EXPLODES IN A FURY OF ARCANE LIGHT]
[ITS A PORTLY GERMAN BOY WITH LEDERHOSEN AND AN OVERSIZED LOLLIPOP]
[I KILL HIM WITH ONE OF THOSE INDUSTRIAL BOLT GUNS FOR CATTLE]
[I OPEN MY GRIMOIRE TO THE PAGE TITLED "INGREDIENTS GOD USED TO MAKE LIFE" AND CROSS OUT "STRUDEL"]
Have you tried pesto?
DM: Time to get out the Monster Manual, or as some people like to call it: the Waifu Catalogue.
Me: WHAT.
Sometimes I smash or pass the whole book
What the fuck guys
I like to smash or pass monsters in DnD and Pathfinder books.
BugBears are legit.
can we not
@celestial-guardian-ragnarok @chika-ann
Smash or pass
Heh… that depends… what’s on the list
dogs
there are dogs on that list
you wanna fuck a dog
wait
this is tumblr
don’t answer that
dogs? pass.
Liches tho……. ;)))
That’s actually not a terrible entry to thirst after. I mean, you could technically count it as necrophilia, but its consensual necrophilia, so you do you.
What the fuck
Of all the reblogs and additions to this post, this is the one you’re shocked by?
Consensual necrophilia is not a phrase I thought I’d hear. Then again this is tumblr, so maybe that’s on me
Hot take: the term consensual necrophilia also applies to vampires, since they’re undead creatures. Wanna fuck Strahd? You’re in the same boat with the lich fuckers.
However, what I think the real treasure we’re all sleeping on is liches….in love. Just immortal wizard gals being pals.
I am absolutely here for the immortal undead lesbians
IS IT STILL NECROPHILIA IF YOU’RE DEAD TOO??
I don’t think so?
Ok next topic is a dragon and a human beastiality for the dragon?
both are sentient, so its just interspecies sex.
…I am now reminded of that argument I got into about whether or not a half-dragon would have a cloaca.
This post is an entire dungeon of bad decisions at this point
I think you mean legendary decisions
Legendary for being bad
This is not what i expected when i started this blog
To be fair, i wasnt expecting a whole lot when i started this blog in 2014
But it definitely didnt include 10k notes of thirsty monsterfuckers
11 approaching 12 thousand
Fuck you’re right
ok but can we just talk about abberations cuz like they’re intelligent and adults but their minds are inscrutable to humans. so like does that mean you can consent to sex with them? cuz you’re on wayyyy different levels of intelligence? but also they’re an adult with the capacity to give and understand consent? but could a normal sentient’s mind comprehend consenting to sex with them? help me out here i’m confused.
If both parties are sentient, its just interspecies sex, stop trying to overcomplicate things. Just because one species is better at calculus does not complicate the less intelligent species’ capacity for consent.
true but in most fiction an abberation’s mind functions in a completely different way from a non-abberation. essentially what i meant to point out was the potential issue of blue and orange morality
Are you seriously trying to start a philosophical debate on this post?
Like, I admire the chutzpah, dude, but it doesn’t matter if one species has a totally alien concept of everything. If both parties know what they want, communicate what they want, and agree with each other on it, its fully informed consent on each side and therefore just regular interspecies sex. Sentience is sentience, even if the way it manifests is wildly different.
honestly? i was drunk out of my mind both times i saw this post. also you make a very good point and are correct that flavors of sentience aside, as long as both parties are sentient and consent it’s fine. i apologize for drunk me’s ramblings.
… you get philosophically argumentative when you’re drunk? Thats a mood, my friend
what even is this post
Not sure. I lost it somewhere and I’m not sure where. Did it change from one subject to another or is it just me not understanding?
D&D logic & arguments
this post is a disaster and a tragedy and the essence of both D&D and Tumblr, what do y’all want from me
…wooooow
This post is truly a journey and yet if we look back to the innocent times of that original post we must all find ourselves reflecting: what did OP expect was going to happen?
Honestly? I didn’t really have any expectations. I figured, “hey, my DM said something stupid and funny, perfect, I’ll put it on the blog with the rest of the stupid and funny things people say in my D&D games,” and figured that would be that.
That being said, this is the Dungeon of Bad Decisions. As in, there are no good choices made here.
Also my IRL dump stat was probably Wisdom. I definitely have at least a -2 to Perception and Insight, I can tell you that. Forethought is not ny specialty.
Okay but this does raise the question of hyper-inteligent races with incredibly long lifespans. For instance, if a horny bard was trying to screw a god, from the bard’s perspective they’re both mature adults. However, by the standards of the god who has lived for millions of years and has a mind the size of a galaxy, the bard may be just a child. So, assuming the god consents, what would the implications of that be?
Now if you excuse me I need to go bleach my brain and stop thinking about this.
Would they be a child, though? I mean, sure by the standards of the god’s species, they might be - look at this little bard who can’t even bend the cosmos to their whim! (or however “adulthood” is measured with this type of deity) - but the bard is NOT a member of the god’s species. presumably if they’re that smart, they understand that
I would assume that if the bard is considered an adult by the standards of their own species, - eg, physical sexual maturity, psychological maturity, can understand any of the consequences and risks involved (magical/celestial STIs, pregnancy, any dangers inherent to transdimensional extraplanar sex, is there telepathy stuff going on with this god?, possible emotional risks, etc), etc - then it’s fine.
To put it a different way (because I’m less familiar with DnD elves and how their aging works), Tolkien elves don’t reach adulthood until age 100. You wouldn’t have sex with a 25 year old elf - they’d be a little kid, even though having sex with a consenting 25 year old human is fine. But an adult human and an adult elf - by the standards of their own species - can both give meaningful consent to sex/marriage. (I mean, look, Luthien’s dad fucked an angel.)
I think it’d be good to talk about it first, but that’s just a good policy in general with sex and boundaries.
Many good points, thank you!
I haven’t read this whole thing yet but I saw ‘consensual necrophilia’ twice and the fact that this ends with ‘many good points, thank you!’ fills me with an emotion only tumblr causes.
My feelings are summed up by:
Reminder: Lady Dimitrescue is a vampire and people have been thirsting up and down the internet for her All of you have a home in the consensual necrophilia pit
Consensual necrophilia is the gateway kink to straight up monsterfucking
Goddamn this is still going on?
It is now!
this keeps getting more cursed every time i see if on my feed
Good! Suffer with me!
Tumblr was a mistake.
I feel so called out. I had this same debate with my DM once. Yes, I wanted to seduce a lich, yes I also wanted to seduce a mind flayer, yes I succeed in one of these but y'all don’t get the privilege to know which.
I feel that my elven mage ended up with a mindflayer. Cause it started as “hey you are highly inteligent and your brain could be delicious ” and my mage said “hey you are highly inteligent and I could use a different and abstract thinking to solve the puzzle” because the two were simultaneously researching a new way of casting magic with loop holes. They ending up bonding over notes and well yeah…
Awww, thats sweet. Interspecies magic nerd love!
I was playing kitsune Fantasia Mickey Mouse one time, and I kept rolling so high on my diplomacy rolls, I accidentally seduced the leader of the centaur tribe we were helping
(Good + Neutral) vs. Evil
Stories that feature the balance of Good vs Evil with Neutral as the necessary Balance Keeper frequently (damn near exclusively) show evil as the overwhelming force that must be stopped.
Neutral siding with Good, or at least assisting Good with knowledge or other assets to defeat Evil.
I want more of the reverse -- of Neutral helping Evil because Good has become careless, or overwhelming, or overbearing, or in any (all) ways "too much."
This is basically the plot of all the Overlord games
No magical chosen hero’s quest until you turn 18!!
you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life
New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.
“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.
Remember to support the artists you love, likes don’t spread their work….
Deviantart || Twitter || Patreon || Webcomic
Me: lol I should like this
Me: W A I T
This comic is a big trap and its damn hilarious
This goes doubly so for writing! Support your favourite writers, too!
with the year or so i’ve been on this website, all of the of my art post’s reblogs combined, only adds up to 20 reblogs in total.
20
need i say more?
so basically, like AND reblog.
Also put stuff in the tags! It makes artists feel loved but doesn’t fill our notifs too much :))
Spread the joy the art inspires
These days, my older brother Jake is a calm, competent professional. He’s skilled at his job, and so laid-back and reserved that it actually used to intimidate his students when he TA’d classes. That’s now. Back when he was a little kid, he was scared of everything.
Bugs. Balloons. The vacuum cleaner. Basically any loud noise. The dark. Dogs. The basement.
As I child, I feared neither god nor death, and so it was my job to protect my big brother from all the minutiae of life that he found terrifying.
Being afraid of the basement was a real problem, because his bedroom was in the basement. I used to have to go downstairs every night and turn on all the lights before he would come downstairs. Once I’d done that he was fine.
At least he was fine up until he thought it would be fun to spend an afternoon building a spooky fort in his walk-in closet and tell scary stories in it. The four of us huddled in the dark closet-fort with a flashlight and Jake cooked up the scariest story he could: that our house was actually built on top of an old burial ground, and there were horrible undead monsters under the floors, trying to claw their way up. This was a very scary story indeed, and my younger brother and sister were terrified. I was old enough to remember when the house had been built, however, and therefore knew for a fact that the story was untrue.
Jake, despite also having been there when the house was built, and having made up the story himself, was terrified.
He spent the next week insisting that I not only turn on all the lights for him before bed, but also check all the closets and make sure that there were no sounds coming from the floor under his bed. Which I did, dutifully, every night.
And then came the day that he punched me in the face and broke the lens out of my glasses.
Now, we roughoused a lot. Scraped knees and elbows were absolutely the norm, and mostly that was fine. But an outright punch to the face? Heinous. Unforgivable. Deserving of the direst revenge my seven-year-old brain could concoct.
“Mom and Dad are gonna kill you when they find out you broke my glasses,” I told him, and quietly slid my foot over the fallen lens where it rested in the front lawn. “You better find that lens or you’re gonna be in trouble until you die.”
Jake, who already knew that he’d crossed a line, went pale and immediately began scrabbling through the grass for the lost lens. I waited long enough for him to turn away before lifted my foot, pocketed the lens, and went inside to sit on the couch and watch him freak out.
He spent a good hour looking for the lens before he went inside and realized I’d already fixed my glasses.
I had spent that hour in my most natural state: scheming.
So when night fell, I did my usual basement sweep. I turned on all the lights, loudly opened and closed the closet doors, and then returned upstairs to give Jake the all-clear. “It’s fine,” I told him, “Only….”
“WHAT,” Jake demanded, thoroughly terrified of monsters entirely of his own making, and not at all afraid of the only thing in the house worth fearing, which was, of course, me. (Our ancient and malevolent demoncat, Kitten Little, was also worth fearing, but that is a story for another time.) At age seven, I had never heard of the concept of ‘excessive force.’ I had also never heard of the concept of ‘psychological warfare,’ but that was hardly going to stop me from using it. Jake demanded, “What was down there?? What did you see?”
“Oh, nothing. But maybe…I thought I saw eyes? Glowing eyes? Under your bed.”
“GLOWING EYES UNDER MY BED??”
“Probably it was just Kitten Little. Goodnight!”
I bounced upstairs to my room in the attic of the house. The ceiling was plastered with glowy stars, and I flopped down in my bunkbed and watched them idly while I waited for the rest of the house to settle down to sleep. One by one, lights turned off across the house, and soon the only noise was the creaking of the old oak tree outside my window.
I reached up and removed one of the jumbo-sized stars from my ceiling. There was a wad of sticky tack on the back. Quietly, I slipped into the bathroom, turned on the lights, and carefully drew two eye-shapes on the star, as large as would fit. Using the pair of scissors I’d stashed in a drawer earlier, I cut the shapes out of the heavy plastic star. Then I used the sticky tack to attach one to each of the lenses of my freshly-repaired glasses.
And then I snuck down to the basement, and army-crawled under Jake’s bed.
Now, I’d been patient. It was well after midnight; everyone else was deeply asleep. That was about to change.
I set my nails against the underside of Jake’s bed and dragged them loudly. I pushed up with my legs just enough to shift the bed a little. I could hear him starting to wake up, so quietly, using a deep, grating growl I’d spent all afternoon practicing, (and which, later in life, would scare our class bully so badly he fell backwards out of a hay wagon) I moaned, “JAAAAAAAAAAAKE.”
Slowly, visibly terrified, Jake lowered his head over the edge of the of the bed.
I whipped my head sideways and shoved my legs against the wall as hard as I could, launching my glowing-eyed face towards him like a snake.
Jake shrieked.
Something thumped overhead as everyone in the bedrooms upstairs woke up all at once. I knew I had about sixty seconds of getaway time while Jake cowered under his blankets. I crawled out the door, making sure to move as oddly as possible in case he could see me, and darted into one of the unfinished storage rooms down the hall. I waited until I had heard both parents go into Jake’s room before I sipped out and quietly returned to my room.
Jake insisted on sleeping in my parent’s bedroom for the next month.
At the opposite end of the house, I slept peacefully every night.
On the ceiling over my head, carefully attached with sticky-tack, were two glowing eyes.
As a point of reference, here is a picture of Jake and I from roughly this age. I had been trying to get a photo of the flower crown I made, and he had been running in front of the camera waving his arms. I stopped him from doing that.
And before you get too sympathetic to poor Jake, it’s worth noting that less than two years later, he instilled in me a permanent fear of heights. I may have been devious, but Jake held his own just fine. Occasionally by shoving me over the edge of a cliff.
To all of you who are saying it makes sense that I grew up to be a lawyer: Jake is also a lawyer. We travel in packs.
Some of you seem to think this is 1. excessive and 2. probably caused some sort of lasting trauma in my brother. To all of you, I can only say: It is clear that you do not have siblings. There is no such thing as “excessive” in intra-sibling revenge schemes; to believe that this is excessive is a quitter’s attitude. You all need to step up your game and be more creative in your interpersonal vendettas.
(The problem with being raised by lawyers is that you all learn that violence is not the answer–violence only leads to more problems. Instead, the answer is premeditated psychological warfare and trapping your enemy in snares of their own making. We’re all very well adjusted over here.)
2. He literally doesn’t remember this. He actually remembers very little of our childhood–his wife will often text me with questions about his younger years, because he straight up cannot recall. This didn’t even make a dent.
Now, the time he was so busy running away from me that he clotheslined himself with the hammock–that made a dent.
As a child of lawyers, and a sibling to boot, this is totally accurate
nana hardison would 100% accept hardison being in love with both parker and eliot
she would adore them, okay?
she’d take parker’s antics in stride and would be smitten with eliot’s “yes ma’am” southern charm end of story
OP why did you hide these amazing tags???
The only thing Nana disapproves of is that Hardison has not yet put a ring on it.
Hardison tries to explain to Nana that poly marriages are not yet legal in the US. Nana is not the least bit impressed with this excuse.
Nana cleans their room during their stay. Hardison lays down that night and hears a crinkle. There's a ring catalog under his pillow.
Hardison comes down for breakfast. There’s a ring catalog in the seat of his chair. Eliot is at the stove making pancakes. Parker is outside with the foster sibs teaching them to hotwire cars playing games. Nana is sitting across from Alec’s seat, sipping her coffee and staring at him over the rim of her glasses. Nana doesn’t break her stare for even a split second to blink.
“You gonna do some shopping today, Alec?”
“Yes ma’am I am. I have a very important purchase to make. Gonna go get right on that.”
@ll-again I love EVERYTHING about this
Nana absolutely would count prodigies she is where Hardison LEARNED about found family.
Okay.
But now I need to know what the rings look like.
Can you imagine Parker having already stolen rings for her boys? She has Eliot's tied into a leather bracelet so it doesn't mess with his fingers while punching. And Hardison has one with like, a green thin line looking like a circuit board in the dark stone.
But then Haridson shows up with his rings. His Legally Bought rings. Which is not romantic as previously established by Sophie.
And Eliot. Sweet soft not sure about romance Eliot. Had this whole picnic planned out. And didn't get them rings because he's the only one who wears jewelry. But he designed Parker a special set of clips and buckles for her favorite harnesses that have etchings on them. And for Hardison he put together his own robot. Swims under water and has oxygen reserves. Let's him know when to eat fruit. Reacts to Star Wars stuff. Heats up for when Hardison needs to hold something but no one is around on the job. (kind of, sort of, definitely built by Chaos cause nothing but the best for his boy).
And Hardison shows up with two rings. Cause Nana said so. And what ensues is a meltdown of "Damnit Hardison I had a picnic planned for next week and now I don't have your guy's stuff." And Parker sitting there with her jewlery for them going "I've been carrying these around since I *acquired* them"
And Nana in the backgroud with tear rimmed eyes and her camera.
hi @creator-appreciator thanks I’m crying
The reason Nana wasn’t impressed by Hardison’s excuse
“But Nana, it’s not legal yet!”
“And since when has that stopped you three?”
Sportscaster Dale Hansen defends student wrestler Mack Beggs and takes a stand against transphobia
this man just CHECKED™ his privilege im living
this is what i mean when i say “actually tolerance isn’t all that bad” this guy says several times that he doesn’t understand and even is uncomfortable, but that that isn’t what matters. imo, that’s how tolerance works.
true tolerance is, “i don’t have to understand, because you don’t need my permission to live. my job as a member of your community is to have your back, whether i understand your situation or not.”
I’m going to keep reblogging this forever, because it is such an excellent, clear example of how to approach this stuff from outside.
There is a man.
He sits at one of the tables in the student center, with a little sign, with a simple message.
“Readings. $5 or equivalent.”
Next to the sign is a mat, and on the mat are dice. The man usually pays very little attention to his surroundings, usually reading a book, or sometimes on a tablet, or tablets, or playing a video game of some kind. But when you walk up to ask for a reading, he knows. He’ll find a spot to stop, put down what he’s doing, and ask how you’re paying.
Keep reading
Btw, I do have a name for this character; the Messager. I may write more for him
it’s 2022. donald trump has died in disgrace days after being impeached and jailed. my chemical romance’s new album is coming out the same day as the new spiderverse movie. the lizzo and janelle monaé collab song is blowing up the radio. lil nas x has a verse in it. you and your partner have time and energy for dates after work after jeff bezos’ assets have been seized and distributed to the public in the wake of his arrest for keeping employees in unsafe working conditions.
oh what a life
Like to charge, reblog to cast.
Everyone has been vaccinated for free and the virus hasn’t caused a single death in months.
Those dates you go on with your partner? They’re in public. Unmasked. Your server smiles at you. Everyone feels safe.
You can hug your friends.
You can see a movie. The people in the movie are gay people of color and they kiss and live happily ever after.
And so will you.
LIKE TO CHARGE, REBLOG TO CAST
[Sometimes I am VERY lucky with my dice rolls. INSANELY lucky to the point my friends accuse my dice of being loaded. I have a metal blue and gold dice that’s always been rather fair, but I recently rolled five natural 20s in a row with it. In the next session that was two weeks apart, the first roll I made with that dice was a natural 20.]
Friend: NO. NO! That dice is LOADED.
Me: I SWEAR TO GOD it’s not! You’ve seen me role absolute shit with that dice!
DM: Let me see it!
[She takes the dice and proceeds to roll it several times to test its balance. (I don’t remember the numbers exactly, just a few.)]
DM: 20. 18. 5. 12. 17. 9.
Player: My turn!
[She does the same.]
Player: 7. 10. 16. 4. 1. 17.
Me: SEE?!?!?!
DM: Okay, we’re gonna do an experiment. You take my metal dice, and I’ll take yours!
[Session goes on…]
DM: Make a sleight of hand check.
Me: Natural 20.
DM and Player: WHAT.
[And on…]
DM: Make a persuasion check.
[I roll. I hold up my hands.]
Me: [Player], look.
Player: A FUCKING NATURAL 20 AGAIN???!?!?!
DM: WHAT THE FUCK
[I am given back my dice, but I don’t use it for the rest of the game. I role three more natural 20s throughout the session with different dice. Just lucky, I guess?]
ALL HAIL THE CHOSEN OF RNGEZUS!!!
IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART I MUST ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE BEEN BANNED FROM THE HIGH WIZARDING COUNCIL FOR TEACHING CHIMPANZEES HOW TO CAST SPELLS
But how else are they going to overthrow the human race if we don’t give them arcane and eldritch knowledge?
reblog this and put the year you were born and the first social media you had an account on in the tags
Vijay Singh with the most outrageous golf shot the masters has ever seen. Ever.
G O L F W I T H O U T L I M I T S
I can only assume this is from some amazingly realistic looking sports anime because there ain’t no goddamn way that happened in real life.
I’ve definitely reblogged this before, but I just think it’s super cute because there are like “golf manners” where you’re not supposed to make a huge ruckus but like EVERYONE felt it warranted cheering because HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A GREAT SHOT.
how do you not hold your club above your head and hoot like a tusken raider after a shot like that
