People really want to get hung up on the distinction between nature and nurture, but as long as the result/effect is the same and largely consistent, it won't matter whether nature or nurture produces male violence statistics & views of women--men as a group are functionally misogynistic and dangerous. I agree, it's not worth it to ask whether it really isn't just nurture/socialization--it's way more helpful to just decenter men altogether.
feminism is not about the right to choose. it is the liberation of women. i’m so sick of people treating this like some “whatever” throwaway. it’s fucking annoying. across the world, all races, all ages, all religions, all cultures women are fucking hated and treated like scum. women are raped, abused, tortured, murdered day in and day out. and some of you wanna sit there and be like “no but it’s about the right to choose”! or as some fucking quirk. “hehe i’m such a man hating feminist” shut the fuck up, please. it’s disgusting and it’s pathetic. it genuinely hurts my heart seeing that shit, nobody takes women seriously and the ones who DO are demonized for being “too mean”. i’d rather be “too mean” than watch women be treated like fucking shit, i don’t care.
I am so sick of the myth that "men suffer in silence," because the reality is they don't do anything in silence. A man cannot occupy a physical, social or emotional space without expanding to consume it entirely. From manspreading on public transit to demanding the emotional labor of everyone around them, their existence is inherently loud, invasive and deeply entitled. They move through the world expecting the entire room to shift around their comfort, forcing women to literally jump out of the sidewalk just to avoid harassment.
The idea that they are quiet, silent sufferers is a joke when you look at how much room they violently and casually steal every single day. If a man is inconvenienced, the whole world has to hear about it. If he is angry everyone around him has to manage his behavior. They don't suffer in silence. They make their presence, their entitlement and their general audacity everyone else's problem by default, and then expect a medal for "enduring" a world built entirely for them.
“Misogyny is kinda fruity, like why you treating a boy better than a girl”
No, these men aren’t gay they are just misogynistic creeps who treat women like shit. Men can be attracted to women but socially still value men so much more cuz they don’t see us as human. All they want is to control women’s bodies and see women losing their rights. Don't conflate misogyny with homosexuality.
Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people
USA folks, that is a consistent temperature range hitting 113°. Death Valley temperatures. In Banda, it hovered between 116°-118° (47°-48° C) for a week straight.
This has been happening all month with little to no international media attention. Here are a few organizations you can check out for resources or to support:
The genius of any slave system is found in the dynamics which isolate slaves from each other, obscure the reality of a common condition, and make united rebellion against the oppressor inconceivable.
Millions of Indian women have never used their husband's name - it's a way of showing respect for him. But campaigners are now urging some of them to change their ways.
Millions of Indian women have never used their husband’s name - it’s a way of showing their respect for him. The tradition is strictly observed in rural areas, though much less so in cities. Now, however, some campaigners are urging women in villages to give it up too.
What’s in a name? A lot, if you’re an Indian wife and the name in question is your husband’s. I learned this early on in life.
My parents were married for 73 years until my father died last year. At the time of their wedding, my mother was less than 11 and he had just turned 15.
In the decades they were together, first in a tiny village in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh and later in Kolkata (then Calcutta), she never called him by his name.
When speaking to us children, she always referred to him as “babuji” - the Hindi word for “father” that we used. When addressing him directly, she always said “Hey ho”, which means roughly “Hey you”.
As teenagers when we became aware of the fact, we made fun of her. We tried to trick her into saying his name just once. But she never did.
All the other women in my home and neighbourhood also avoided saying their husband’s name. So did tens of millions of women across India, regardless of their religion or caste.
The husband is considered equal to god so he has to be worshipped
A R Vasavi, Social anthropologist
That’s because in traditional Indian society, the husband is equated with god and a woman is taught from a young age that she must respect him.
She is told that naming her husband could invite bad luck and shorten his life. Often the ban extends to other members of his family too - and the consequences of breaking it can be serious.
One woman in the eastern state of Orissa faced retribution that was swift and harsh.
“One day my sister-in-law asked who was sitting outside. I named all the men who were there, including my husband’s uncle,” Malati Mahato says in a film produced by Video Volunteers, a pressure group.
The sister-in-law complained to the village council, which ruled Mahato’s words “reprehensible” and she was banished, with her children, to a home on the edge of the village. For the past 18 months she has been ostracised by the other villagers.
“The patriarchal hierarchy is enforced at many levels,” says social anthropologist, Prof A R Vasavi.
“The husband is considered equal to god so he has to be worshipped. In traditional matches he’s generally from a higher caste and economically supports the wife so he’s the yajman - the owner. And he’s generally older, so has to be respected on that count too.”
How Indian wives address their husbands (without using his name)
Women may use “father of so-and-so” or refer to their husband’s profession, eg “doctor sahib” or “vakil (lawyer) sahib”
They may just say “hey you”, or “you”, “will you please listen”, or “are you listening?”
In some Indian languages it is common to say “brother”, “elder brother”, “hello” or “owner”
Video Volunteers has now begun a campaign in some rural communities in an attempt to change patriarchal traditions.
Last October, Rohini Pawar, a volunteer in a village near the western city of Pune decided to raise the issue of naming husbands at a women’s discussion group in her village.
But before doing so, she decided she had better try it herself.
Pawar told the BBC that she was married at 15 and that in 16 years of marriage had never called her husband Prakash by his name.
“Earlier I’d call him ‘baba’, because his nephews called him that. Or I’d just say ‘aaho’ (‘you’ in the local Marathi language) to grab his attention.”
Prakash was relaxed about it but most other villagers weren’t happy. Some ridiculed the couple.
The women in the discussion group, however, were delighted with the idea.
He told her that if she ever dared to say his name again, he would give her a solid beating
Rohini Pawar, Activist
“We had great fun. We laughed a lot that day. For the first time in our life, we were shouting out our husbands’ names,” says Pawar, laughing.
“We decided to make a video and asked the women to say it in three different ways - happily, with anger, and with love.
“One of the women got carried away. She went home giddy with excitement and as soon as she saw her husband, she screamed out his name - and he slapped her.
“He told her that if she ever dared to say his name again, he would give her a solid beating.”
In Indian cities, over time, it has become common for wives to name their husbands. With growing female literacy, more and more women joining the workforce, and love marriages often replacing arranged ones, the tradition began to seem out-of-date.
When I married, my husband was a work colleague. I had called him by his name for years, so it would have made no sense to stop after the wedding.
But A R Vasavi says this still only applies to a “very small segment” of Indian households.
“It’s the educated, assertive woman in big cities who calls her husband by name,” she says.
“It’s unthinkable for tens of millions of women in rural India and even in conservative urban homes. If a new bride tries to go against the tide, she’s swiftly admonished by her mum-in-law or other elderly women.”
Rohini Pawar says the hostile response from many in her village has only strengthened the resolve of the women in her group to continue challenging patriarchal traditions.
“You see, change is not easy. People ask us why is it so important for us to use their names - what’s the big deal?” she says.
“I think, until you confront the small issue, how will you challenge the larger, more important issues?”
It may seem like a small step, but it’s the first step, she says, and the first step is always a big one.
There is no wrong way to be a woman. However you are doing womanhood is correct. You cannot fail at being a woman. The one and only deciding factor of whether you are a woman or not is being of the female sex. Everything else is made up gender roles. Live your life how you want to live it.
also I don't think parents "these days" are uniquely terrible, I just think neglect is showing up in new ways as technology progresses. today's ipad kid would've been wandering around in a ditch alone all day and night before. parents not wanting to have to deal with children is not a new phenomenon.
I feel like people need to understand shaving like they do consent. Women do not choose to shave of their own free will, they are coerced by society and sexism and misogyny. They are coerced by joke portrayals of women with body hair being ugly and unhygienic, they are coerced by men saying they just prefer women who shave, and they are coerced by any other woman who told or shamed them into shaving because “it’s just what women do”. When every aspect of society from people in your own life to incessant razor ads to hairless women in every movie and tv show is telling you to shave, you are being pressured to do that, and you likely wouldn’t come to that conclusion if you weren’t surrounded by all that noise. Millennial men and younger do not feel the same societal pressure to shave their faces, facial hair is a form of fashion and changes amongst individuals. This is not the same with women, and it’s a known fact that women shaving became popular after big razor brands cornered the men’s market and wanted to increase profit. So like. Stop being ignorant and adding the discussion of choice into the discussion when we know it didn’t use to be a choice most women made.
‘Cis people engage in gender affirmation too!!’ Yes those are called gender roles, we used to be able to acknowledge how they’re restrictive and imposed on everyone from birth….
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