Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Andulka
#extradirty
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tumblr dot com
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
art blog(derogatory)
if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
𓃗
pixel skylines
RMH
Not today Justin
shark vs the universe
titsay
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seen from Australia
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seen from Türkiye
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@rainsfalling-shitposts
being too warm during the day: well, this sucks, but this temperature makes sense because the sun is up, and the sun is making me warm. i am unhappy but logically i can deal with it for now.
being too warm at night: what if i kill everybody.
I was looking for photos of one physical condition that happens to penises and came across this photoset.
level 271 penismancer demonstrating his arcane might
“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat
comedians can only dream of writing something this funny
watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change
sorry i rear ended you. my car is.. in heat
Yeah its kind of a compliment i guess. that it wants to fuck your car. so just tell your insurince that
i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny
advertising lemonade is pointless. the human body already knows it needs it
in 2015 we didn’t have AI psychosis so people had to make do by believing a dress was white and gold
Because it was
Is the gold in the room with us right now?
yes. the dress is gold.
...
the dress has always been gold
r u saying this doesn't look white and gold to u???
...
what.
it's a white and gold dress in cool blue dim lighting w/ bright warm light behind it, making an optical illusion. we're not fucking doing this again
oh god fucking damn it
I know tumblr likes to exclusively make it about bloody hospitals but this is what Color Theory is about
HOW DID THIS DISCOURSE COME BACK IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2026!???
when I tell you people were shouting up and down my dorm's hallways about this when it first happened
(the dress was by Roman Originals and it was in fact blue and black. but they made a one-off white and gold one for charity later)
I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-
my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭
hi sorry uh. incredible miscommunication on my part lmfao.
my bad yall
Tumblr users will say "queer history" and mean "midcentury archival records from a specific US-American city that I have extrapolated into a universal mythos" and not even blink
"learn your queer history" I am from fucking INDIA
Maybe your queer elders fictional or otherwise were also influenced by the biases and contradictions of their own circumstances, time and place, and I am no more beholden to their ideas and ways of doing things than I am to any other form of tradition trying to constrain me.
Perhaps history is a conversation and not an edict.
I fucking snortled
The word you are looking for is “selfish.” Not narcissist, not sociopath, selfish.
it really is annoying as hell how someone will talk about how poor people can't avoid ethically dubious products because of how being poor works and then someone with a two story house in the suburbs will take that to mean they can order harry potter books through a drone delivery from amazon and if you criticize that you're a bigot
OP: "Decarbonized formaldehyde is great. Just wash daikons with decarbonized formaldehyde and they turn white."
"Decarbonized formaldehyde" (脫碳甲醛) is an online phrase used to make fun of people that blindly avoid chemicals. Formaldehyde (H2CO) decarbonized is water (H2O).
[eng by me]
one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he's 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute "tall"
once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as "gandalf and the hobbits" and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that
told him i made this post and he's still insistent that he isn't tall
bf: i'm not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street
me: they aren't
bf: but i can see their faces! if i'm looking at their faces they must be the same height
me: you're looking down slightly babe
bf: why would i do that
me: because you're tall
incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i'm "normally that short"
if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver
Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.
he wears glasses he's just dumb
update to this post from yesterday:
bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6' tall me: yes........? bf: that isn't very many. am i tall? me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow bf: oh my god i'm tall aren't i me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6' 0.5". you are tall by "kingdom of giants" standards, even. but we live on "shortarse island", so... bf: AM i tall though me: you are 6ft 4
he is he's very pretty
Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons....
having watched emperors new groove (it's my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs
which is to say that yes, he is kronk
fun fact they're both the same person. same 6'4 boyfriend referred to himself as a short king because he thought it meant a man who really likes wearing shorts
Large dog energy
