[veryluckyclovers]

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

people say dolphins are smart but there not smart enough to not be Shity grey rubber tubes flappin about in the gotdamn ocean

[mystic-bullshit]

*they’re

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

congratulations! you are the piss lord of shit mountain. thank u for hefting turds down the mountainside so that we, the proles, may feast on your bounteous craps

[hypotenussy]

i love it when people use the phrase 'biblically accurate' to describe things that most certainly were not in the bible. "biblically accurate hatsune miku" i don't know if that's true but i am enchanted by the beautiful world you have invented

[targetedknowledge]

[raccoonmilf]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[raccoonmilf]

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

[raccoonmilf]

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

[raccoonmilf]

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

[raccoonmilf]

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

[fipindustries]

[vexheart]

[its-not-a-pen]

Im in the middle of waterless shampooing alex and i cant get over how dumb he looks fhfhfbvf my poor clean rat son

Bonus tiny blep

[its-not-a-pen]

Hddhgdhdjsjdhdv

[its-not-a-pen]

lmao are u kidding me this was at 200 notes last week what happened where did all these people come from

[juney-blues]

oh huh! it turns out there's a difference between "growing up" and "waiting around so long you're not technically a child anymore"

[mantisdepot]

they are best friends

[theunfairfolk]

the opposite of that "orc can't read ulysses" is an elf who smugly delivers a lecture misinterpreting the Very Hungry Caterpillar

[jockohomomorphism]

[dogin8]

[polaris-draws]

No I will not let this stay in the tags.

[sasha-on-the-side]

Been talking about this with friends so I present to you, the cursed spectrum of media literacy

[brucespringsteencomments]

[goodsprings]

please, mr. jepsen is my father, call me maybe

[energyprison]

no i didnt get that from a video essay im a little more well read than that thanks. i got it from the abstract for a study i didnt read the rest of

[schalotte]

it's so crazy how you actually have to live through everything

[fairycosmos]

very very evil to be a child in 2008 and an adult in 2025

[sternfleck]

A cosmic tribute to my current favourite comment in YouTube history