Untitled @ratthew2 - Tumblr Blog

a fun thing with writing stories is that while i’m writing them i just go with a dumb title like ‘ghost condo,’ or ‘scuba skeleton thing’, something i can look at and instantly know yeah that’s that story ok.

and then i finish and have to come up with an actual title, and the story i’ve been thinking of as ‘ghost condo’ is suddenly ‘We Who Inhabit These Walls’ or crap like that. and anyone reading it wouldn’t know, but for me those stories are forever marked ‘scuba skeleton thing’

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

fun fact: scuba skeleton got published under the title The Water Opens Wide Wide and Swallows

eggson-bren

well this explains a lot

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

that is my pen name and also my bio, and i stand by it

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

Condo Ghost is free to read online

I want to retitle it but I don’t think you guys will let me

should probably rethink my pen name though

birdwitharm

NO. Not allowed. Please thank you

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

…the story title or the pen name?

b/c i almost certainly need a better pen name

ratthew2

Can i make a suggestion? How about Eldrich Gaud?

metrodong

Centaurs, but with human feet

freelemonwater

Hmm, i do not enjoy this picture

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

@wishem i swear you did this before

wishem

No I didn’t

I drew a horse with human legs, not a centaur

rox-and-prose

I have a friend who drew this extremely cursed image after reading that horse legs are more analogous to fingers than to actual legs

wishem

I tried bending my fingers like that

It didn’t work

I drew horse with a whole hand as legs though and here’s horse with human legs

tia-flowery

so … since horses technically walk on their toes, wouldn’t centaurs with human feet walk like the left one? :DD @wishem

wishem

I did not know horses walked on their toes but if they did then we would have ballerina horses or just some weird looking ninjas

2random2person

FUN FACT!!!!

After seeing a few skeletons and whatnot, horses (and most land animals) have almost identical skeletons, just different proportions. Horses “elbows” are hella close to their shoulder, their “knee” would be our wrist, and their hooves contain about the same amount of bones as our hands. Their “knees” are by their hips, their actual knees fit with our ankles, and hind hooves have a few more bones than their front hooves, kinda like us humans peoples with our hands and feet.

wishem

Uhhhh…

Yes.

2random2person

I guess my explaining was a little backwards lol, elbows/knees are shoved way up inside their body and their forearms are hella long. Ill do a sketch when i get home.

2random2person

OH FUCK THAT WAS WISHEM

wishem

OH NO WhERE

2random2person

Ok im not sure if this is real or if im hallucinating… but WHAT

wishem

I dont blame you, I’d be pretty confused too if I see a bunch of untraditional centaurs

ratthew2

The centaurs are fine they hardly compare to the weirds stuff ive thought up. Remember the birb with human legs? That mighta been you idk it was before i got on tumblr. But like, you’re a legend?? And im just me??

bitchesgetriches

Hi, I'm in need of quick small money like 50 bucks but my schedule is so hectic i can not fit any real work and cant seem to find one time jobs that doesn't require me giving my whole day. Is there any way I can earn some money online? Like taking surveys and such? I personally only need to gather around 50 60 bucks to cover my expenses in short time. Thank you for your answer. And I'm sorry if there is any misunderstanding English is not my first language

Your English is perfect, sweetness. And for future reference, we can answer questions in Spanish (Piggy’s second language) and Japanese (Kitty’s second language) as well if it’s easier for our ESL babies.

If you need quick money, answering surveys online is not a good option. That’s the kind of activity that brings pennies trickling in over time. It’s rarely a high return on investment, and it generally takes a while. For the record, we don’t recommend it unless you have a long train commute or something.

If you’re looking to make a quick $50-$60, here are some ideas:

Sign up to be a test subject for medical research. My sister-in-law used to work for a psychological research firm that offered test subjects $50 for a one-time interview.

Sell your plasma. This is definitely not for the squeamish or those with certain health conditions.

Sell your stuff online. Sometimes this process is quick, sometimes not so much. Old sports equipment and clothes you don’t use anymore, books and DVDs… people will buy all kindsa shit.

Offer to proofread for fanfiction writers online. Not quite as difficult or time-intensive as editing, but depending on your first language your skills could be in high demand.

That’s just what I can think of off the top of my head. But I KNOW Bitch Nation has some good ideas. So let’s hear them! I’ll reblog anything that sounds like a legit way to make a quick buck safely!

2random2person

Yall wanna make a quick buck?

Aite so, back when i was in school i would look into any gatherings (coin shows, comic book collections, etc etc), mosey my way to the thrift shop and legally “steal” (i say that because my rate of return was INSANE) whatever type of event i planned to go to. I might drop 10-20 bucks on a few spiderman comics, 20-30 dollars on infants toys, you know what i mean. Take your chosen items to your chosen show, sell them for what you can (dont sell for less than you paid. EVER.) and return the rest! I would do this like 5-6 times to the point where the cashiers started giving me weird looks. Sometimes i would walk away with over $400. If you meet someone happy to help you find valuable stuff, ask them!! See if you can find it next time you go back. If i was able to find something, i would usually go back to them and sell something to them for less than they told me its worth, just as a thank you. I still turned a profit, but i gotta do sumn for them, ya know?Eventually i did this often enough that the employees of half the second hand stores in the city knew me by name lmao

Another option is kijiji!!! (Use as many options as you can, try to avoid shipping things tho as that costs you more)

Go to thrift stores, buy pretty high quality fur/leather coats, name brand tshirts, etc etc (ensure they are almost new) and sell those on whatever platforms you like.

Anyway hope it helps! To do this you usually need a bit of cash to start and it sounds like you might not… i dont really have anything that doesnt have an initial cost to is (sorry)

2random2person

Im getting old

ratthew2

How so

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

let’s talk about our random links to celebrities!

serena william’s husband once bought me & my classmates a round of whisky

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

also he co-founded reddit but that’s less important than being married to serena williams

teaboot

My sister hit David Suzuki with a shopping cart

syllarinfirinne

While working a merch booth at a concert I once sold a shirt to Cameron Diaz with (at the time) Lindsay Lohan’s Girlfriend and remarked about Lohan being jealous to a friend. The next customer was Diaz’ agent.

magick-missile

My step-uncle-in-law (son of lady who married my grandfather after my dad’s mom passed) died of an overdose at Carrie Fisher’s house.

th3n3v3rs33n-blog

I sold an inflatable toupee to Sir Ian McKellan in Oakland. He was in a play with Patrick Stewart and was buying for him. I swear to the Lady his eyes fucking twinkled when he brought it to the counter.

oppsitsmeiforgotiexisted-blog

My sister once knocked over Sandra Bullock’s kids in a bouncy house.

sidonspussy-deactivated20190226

Macklemore used to sleep on my step uncle’s couch and they still talk occasionally

biology-textbook

My mums an accountant to the guy that played ned stark, ed sheeran almost stole my friends cat and the lead singer of U2 proposed to my aunt (who rejected him lol)

sidonspussy-deactivated20190226

Back the fuck up Ed Sheeran did what

biology-textbook

he thought their cat was a stray and was going to move house so he went “guess I’ll take this stray cat which definitely nobody owns to wherever the fuck im going” and they had to stop him from yoinking their fucking cat

sidonspussy-deactivated20190226

Holy fucking shit

neopetismbaby

Sara Bareilles’ uncle judged my history fair project in 10th grade. My mom’s friends in high school were super close with Metallica. They used to go to parties at the band’s house all the time. My aunt went to high school with Green Day. My grandparents went to high school with Creedence Clearwater Revival.

lady-byleth

My dad used to lift weights with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

twoplayergaymers

Jon bellion went to my highschool, he still visits occasionally.

veganmikehanlon

my mom knew magic johnson and they would go clubbing together and he was childhood friends with my ex’s mom’s brothers

j-keeery

I went to High School with Neil DeGrasse Tyson’s niece and every year she has Thanksgiving with Bill Nye and posts a Selfie with him on Facebook and it’s become a Thanksgiving Day Tradition; so last year when Bill couldn’t make it for some reason and she couldn’t post her annual selfie it was a slight uproar

sleepiercell--thesleepiest

I met corbin bleu at church and invited him out to laser tag. Loser had to buy pizza. So thats the story of how Corbin Bleu bought my friends and I pizza.

queen-emma-frost

my cousin was a flight attendant for the owners of H&M. Barnaby Joyce (the shitty politician) lived at the top of my street for a few months.

southdownswitch

My sister’s friend is John Boyega’s mum

em-gm

Bruce Springsteen shops at my local mall sometimes and I met him there. My dad accidentally stepped on Paul Newman’s foot in a store once.

lacroixgender

One of my elementary school teachers was best friends with Jim Mayer, the bassist for Jimmy Buffett’s backing band. We knew him as Uncle Jim (which i found out later was also a stage name that he used to record kids’ songs). He had a song about using mouthwash that still gets stuck in my head sometimes

cicadaemon-moved

My third grade teacher grew up and was friends with the actor Michael Myers. She live right next to him when they were kids. Apparently he’s incredibly nice. No goddamn joke, her last name was Powers

thomasblanky-moved

my partner works at a domestic violence shelter that was founded by jesse eisenberg’s mother in law

magneticghouls

Family friend’s brother went to school with Tom Hardy, a family member hung out with Winston Marshall, and I know something about someone who met Jake Gylllenhaal but not enough to say much more aha.

mayalaen

Sean Dowdell (Chester Bennington’s longtime friend and writer/drummer for two of the bands he was in and co-owner/creator of Club Tattoo) came to my shop and taught me and my family how to pierce.

rodiniaorzetalthepenquin

One of my grandmother’s very good friends happened to be married to Bob Wills. The King. Every few months he’d come by their town and play the dance hall.

jupiterjames

I bumped into Benedict Cumberbatch while he was filming the Avengers, spilled coffee all over him, and instead of saying “sorry,” blurted out that Doctor Strange was my favorite. He got really excited and told me no one ever says that.

pale-abomination

I think it was my great-great grandfather that was a stage magician, and he worked with Harry Houdini. When Houdini would come over for dinner, he would apparently talk, and talk, and talk. The men on my father’s side of the family are known for being stoics giants, so my great-great grandfather would just let him go on. My great-great grandmother supposedly said that, “He really likes the sound of his own voice.”