RavenLunatic Thoughts @ravenlunaticthoughts - Tumblr Blog

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snapsicle

peace and love on earth

teaboot

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

teaboot

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

edgar-allan-possum

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

elidyce

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW.

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in.

*A couple of months later*

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit.

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure.

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family.

queerqueerspawn

I love this but…

First, in order to be Nobody, Odysseus must have already left Troy, been fucking around to find out, and ended up meeting and tricking Polyphemus - and most likely being cursed by Poseidon, which is the whole inciting event for the Odyssey.

Second, since this is after the fall of Troy, Cassandra’s already been taken captive by Agamemnon, so there’s an urgent ticking clock for Odysseus to get to her before Clytemnestra and Aegisthus do (and kill her), while he’s doomed to be bad at sailing and essentially marooned.

All that being said, there’s something delightful about Odysseus overcoming his curse from Poseidon while circumventing Cassandra’s curse from Apollo with a blessing from Athena - the thick soup of boons and maledictions from a crowded pantheon cancelling each other out, with human ingenuity and cooperation at the core of untangling them together.

elidyce

@queerqueerspawn YAY DISCOURSE Okay, so here’s how I was picturing it:

Cassandra, having *just* been taken captive, *during* the final sack of Troy, is ranting up a storm about how profoundly they’re all going to regret this because why the fuck not at this point.

Odysseus, who has not lived this long by ignoring important stuff like ranting seers, goes over to ask, you know, what’s up.

Cassandra tells him that nobody ever believes her when she makes prophecies but for the record HIS FUTURE IS TERRIBLE.

Odysseus may not have encountered Polyphemus yet, but he’s still the guy who came up with ‘Nobody’ as a workaround on the spur of the moment. A seer saying ‘Nobody believes me, there’s a curse’ is absolutely enough to give this very clever man the idea to call himself ‘Nobody’ a little ahead of schedule and ask for more details. He was smart enough to think of it in the original timeline, he can do it now!

Cassandra, who has no reason to lie at this point, gives him the low-down.

Odysseus, reassured that Agamemnon is not going to live much longer in any case and also fuck that guy, basically shoves Cassandra into a bag and escapes with her before Agamemnon can catch him. There’s a fair bit of chaos at this point and he’s one of the sneakiest people alive, he can manage it.

Cassandra’s advice gets Odysseus home in record time because she is able to keep him away from Polyphemus and thus Poseidon’s curse, along with all the other things that go wrong.

Odysseus thinks Cassandra is GREAT. After what happened with Apollo he is WAY too smart to try to get into her robes, but she’s smart, she’s gifted, and she’s been treated ridiculously badly by pretty much everyone. He decides to adopt her - what better gift to bring his son than a future-seeing sister with absolutely no loyalties left to anyone else, right? - and presents her to his wife as a new daughter. Penelope, being pretty sharp herself, can really see the advantage to a gifted seer nobody else can take advantage of who is also Extremely Grateful and Loyal to Odysseus and his family and is down with this plan.

Cassandra loves the plan and is an enthusiastic assistant in Odysseus’s future endeavours. Curses and blessings cancel each other out. Happy endings all around!

nimblermortal

One plot hole: Penelope does not call herself Nobody.

So Odysseus comes home with some hot young thang who is Extremely Grateful and Loyal to him, and is about to get her hackles up about the hypocrisy of him chasing away her suitors who had only just begun to gather when Odysseus ups and outs with, “I want to adopt her.”

Penelope reassesses the situation.

She’s a sweet if deluded dear, and it is just like her idiot husband to want to take care of the sweet and the deluded, is that not why he went to war in the first place? Bundle of idiots, the lot of them.

And aside from the nonsense about seeing the future, Cassandra is quite good about being a princess and developing a relationship with Telemachus.

Yes, this can be permitted to stand.

elidyce

“I brought this home for our son.”

“…. yeah, okay, honestly there are worse gifts you could have brought home.”

I do like the idea that Penelope would be willing to take the crazy kid on because honestly, the poor kid seems nice and it’s reasonable that if she helped Odysseus somehow they should do something for her.

But if you think Odysseus wouldn’t do the Nobody Routine with Penelope and Telemachus so they can have their Own Private Always Correct Seer, you clearly don’t think he’s as smart as he’s supposed to be. Like I said, he’s VERY SMART, he would have figured the Nobody thing out VERY QUICKLY.

“Just introduce yourselves as Nobody, it’ll make sense in a minute.”

“Dad, this is kind of weird - “

“I have had this argument with the WHOLE DAMN CREW like five times already just DO IT.”

*ten minutes later*

“OH WOW APOLLO IS QUITE AN ASSHOLE HUH.”

“If you’d been in the war *I* just went to, the idea that a god would completely destroy one young woman’s life just to cover up the fact that he treated her badly would not surprise you EVEN A LITTLE BIT. The Gods don’t treat people very well. Except Athena, she’s been pretty good to me.”

“… yeah, sounds right.”

korben600

Side note: I like the idea of Odysseus hearing about the suitors gathering in Penelope’s house, and decides to do some preliminary recon.

Cassandra, a completely new an unknown person, is enlisted to waltz up to the front door and knock. She, being very pretty and female, is promptly harassed by every drunken asshole there.

She looks at them all trashing their King’s house, harassing his servants, and trying to bang his wife, and says, without a hint of irony:

“When he gets back, Odysseus is gonna kill you.”

They do not believe her.

Despite it not actually being a prophecy, it does come true.

…as an aside, someone should totally make a series of this. It’s just Odysseus and co. trying to rules lawyer their way out of a bunch of ancient curses. Like, Odysseus is still fated to encounter all the problems of his voyage, but instead of him going to them, he stays on land with his wife and kid by his side, and all of the curses end up washing onto his shores.

For example, I’m thinking Circe gets bored on her island without some poor Greek King around to talk to, so she decides to travel and is knocked by a storm all the way to Ithaca.

She’s naturally pissed and angry gods don’t mix well with natives.

So Odysseus and co ask Cassandra what to do, and she’s like “Sorry, chief, but Penelope’s really not gonna like how you handled this one the first time around…”

The plot twist is that apparently Circe is bisexual and seamstresses turn her on, and Penelope also loves Circe’s habit of turning annoying people into animals, so Penelope and Circe get along much better than expected.

It helps that Penelope’s tongue is just as quick and flexible as Odysseus’s. She sweet talked her way around a hundred horny assholes for ten years. She has Circe wrapped around her little finger within a day. And she has other things wrapped around her within a week.

And like in the original Greek myth, Circe starts helping them out and guiding them through the hellscape that is Ancient Greek Mythology. Only this time she’s doing both of Telemachus’s parents.

hamelin-born

#odysseus#the iliad#the odyssey#greek mythology#Alternatively Cassandra just lists prophecies of people getting cursed and Odysseus and co go out to rescue them.

lectorel

Write a series of YA novels, @korben600 (and a bunch of smutty fanfics about P/O/C triad)

torielectra83

@captainderyn, this sounds damn interesting. I’m not too into Greek stuff aside from Disney!Hercules (which is basically the best Superman film ever), but IIRc you are (on the Percy Jackson side of things, at any rate).

teaboot

I love all of you?????

catchymemes

trynsave

paleo-pines

No talk me Im anky 🌿Animation test for our ankylosaurus!🌿 🔹Join our Discord🔹 🔹Steam Wishlist🔹

kittynailz

mariokort-deactivated20210506

this is a perfect time capsule of whatever year this is from: pmmm, icarly jokes, tumblr photosets glitching, everything with eyes being tagged scopophobia

guerrillatech

cornpopwasframed

To be or not to be? Well I'll be if he is!

giflounge

Snake played by AI

supreme-leader-stoat

This is mesmerizing.

keepcalmandcarriefischer

I have wanted to see thos happen my whole life

juuls

I feel at peace for the first time since the year 2000.

🐉🐍😌🐍🐉

firelightmystic

We may rest now. We are free.

mothmans-sexy-lamp-deactivated2

I am so proud of my ai snake child

radiation

when i was a kid i was completely obsessed and enamored with the word art in microsoft word and when they got rid of it i was genuinely crushed. literally does not get any better than this i miss you so much babe

neapolis99

www.makewordart.com

There you go babes, go crazy ❤

milich96

Coming to save us once again

omghotmemes

A tale in 4 parts

hikarigolden

Wait there’s a follow up

nanzyn

im sorry but you guys are so far behind

nanzyn

okay wait i went back and screenshotted some (most?) of the good ones that were like on the main plot here so you all saw the top posts with the Irish Stegosaurus well that evolved into

also kind of unrelated but because of this stupid subreddit im actually not as bad at identifying flags

anyways sorry for the long post i just really loved this whole thing

theparistimes

What is this place between hopeless romantic and strong independent individual

theparistimes

It’s spending your weekends entertaining no one but yourself. It’s getting misty eyed at the thought of growing old alone. It’s strolling around the city wearing earbuds while people watching. It’s cherishing your platonic friendships and not secretly wanting more. It’s coming up with a funny joke late at night and wishing you had someone to share it with before you forget. It’s arriving and leaving parties whenever you feel like it. It’s a romantic song playing and you wishing it were socially acceptable to slow dance on your own. It’s rolling to the cold side of the bed when the morning sun tickles your face. It’s getting sleepy while driving late at night and pulling over at almost every stop to grab a coffee. It’s the excitement of walking into a bar and scanning the room. It’s the late nights spent wondering if love is reserved for the deserving. It’s shaking those thoughts off in the morning because you know what you deserve.

alexander-s-lover

It’s looking around the empty room when you’re crying and laughing with a new set of characters at 3 am to look for someone to share that feeling with and then quickly realising you don’t want to share this story with another person at all

serpentkisss

It’s the lightness that you experience as you look up at the night sky or the city lights and find yourself mesmerized in silence; and for that brief moment, you feel relieved that no one else is there to interrupt your private thoughts. It’s the warmth in your stomach when you get ready each morning and wonder, “what if I meet someone new today?” And it’s the bittersweet comfort you feel, trickle down your throat, when you come home alone and conclude that you weren’t quite ready for that yet anyway. It’s sitting by the window every morning with a cup of tea and quietly watching as the steam glides across the glass and flushes against your skin. And it’s the empowerment of getting to experiment with yourself and become someone new without worry of displeasing a significant other.

closesttomyheart-deactivated202

It’s the watching movies alone and skipping parts and not feeling guilty about it. It’s weird and wholesome. You share a part of yourself with every lonely traveller. It’s dancing alone in your room. And having a million pillows on your bed. It’s warm and it’s open and inviting. It’s like childhood all over again. Want to collect pebbles? Sure? Want to be a friend. Here hold my hand. It’s okay to say goodbye! I’m excited. Maybe a little sad. But still who knows what the next second brings?

ghostiemoss-deactivated20220612

It’s the rustling quit of the night and you read poetry to yourself in the warm glow of candlelight. All are welcome! Stay for a while. Take my hand.

andibecamethestars

It’s the ache of the warmth of a dream you had of someone holding you, but waking up alone. It’s the constant battle between yearning and contentment. It’s being touch starved but shrinking away from physical affection. It’s looking up at the sky and hurting. It’s beautiful things making you a little sad. It’s not fully understanding yourself but knowing you’re the only person who can handle you at your worst. It’s wanting someone, anyone to truly see you, but not wanting people to see the pain in your eyes. It’s itching for adventure, recklessness, something more, but being caged. It’s wanting to be known but feeling unknowable. Its the feeling of missing someone you’ve never met. It’s music clawing at your throat trying to be released. It’s wanting…..always wanting. An itch you can’t scratch. Just out of your reach….. it’s unbearable. But you bear it.

almondgaze

Singing sad romantic songs by the windowsill and dancing to beats at the same night without worrying about waking anyone. Being touch starved but also not wanting to be too attached to anyone. It’s wanted to share your excitement with someone about the show you watched 15 times and cried each time but it would feel like a betrayal if they don’t appreciate it the same way

hedonism-and-a-scalpel

It’s pulling your blanket a little bit tighter on cold nights while wishing there were arms around you, but waking up glad you don’t owe your time to anyone while snuggling in with a good book.