on trauma

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@reclaime
on trauma
Source
"you were always such a good kid! we never had to worry about you :)" thanks! you actually should've, though. like about this specifically
"do it scared" this "do it tired" that. well no one ever talks about the fucking insurmountable "do it with greasy hair"
"do it in sweat pants" "do it only a little bit" If you have a disability/depression or just a bad day, but you should go get groceries, than only get essentials while looking half dead. News Flash. No one judges or cares much. Most people will just want to get done with their groceries and go home. Its okay! I promise you will be fine.
“The year is almost over and I did nothing!”
Okay, well did you…
Finish a book?
Make a home cooked meal?
Get a new job?
Get a promotion?
Finish another semester of school?
Get your GED/high school diploma?
Get your associates, certification, degree, masters, and or doctorate?
Take an online class?
Finish a project?
Start a new hobby?
Start a new book?
Talk to a new person?
Made a new friend?
Went to something you didn’t want to?
Write a new story?
Start journaling?
Start to dress different?
Start learning a new skill?
Go to the doctor?
Fix your sleep schedule?
Rekindle a relationship?
Go on a date?
Get help?
Ask for help?
Apologize?
Make amends?
Stay sober (even for a few days)?
Stay clean (even for a few days)?
Donate to charity?
Volunteer?
Try something new?
Travel somewhere new?
Do something you were dreading?
Do something you were scared of?
Start showering regularly?
Start brushing your teeth regularly?
Come out?
Go to therapy?
Admit you need help?
Start regularly walking?
Finally find the right combination of meds?
Finally get a diagnosis?
Create a morning routine?
Stick to a morning routine?
Create a nighttime routine?
Stick to a nighttime routine?
Start spending allotted time without electronics?
Admit you’re wrong?
Confront someone who wronged you?
Start reaching out first?
Make a really big decision?
Break up with a toxic partner/friend?
Realize you were traumatized?
Talk about your trauma?
Clean your room regularly?
Make your bed regularly?
Lose weight healthily?
Gain weight healthily?
Start recovery?
Attempt to start recovery?
Continue recovering?
Become a parent?
Adopt a pet?
Care for a person?
Care for a pet?
Care for yourself?
Quit that job you hate?
Get into your dream school?
Pass that shitty class?
Make progress in therapy?
Get that haircut you’ve always wanted?
Start hormone therapy?
Start treatment?
Get surgery?
Care for a plant?
Save money?
Get engaged?
Get married?
Make a big purchase?
Move?
Grieve?
Stay alive?
Because in my book, that is a huge accomplishment!
You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.
pie pngs ♡
not to get all sad for no reason but something nobody tells you about growing up is that a part of you is just a little girl who is yelling ‘please like me please love me please tell me i am good’ at everyone you meet and most of your day is just trying to ignore her
There’s no such thing as work-life balance for neurodivergent & chronically ill people.
This is because everything in my life requires work:
maintaining friendships
keeping up with my hygiene
managing bills
making money
remembering my basic needs
sleeping regularly
outputting creatively
All requires some aspect of work for me.
And when everything in your life requires work, your balance goes out the window.
If you're neurodivergent and overwhelmed — I see you.
If you're chronically ill and overwhelmed — I see you.
You're not dysfunctional.
You're not incapable.
You're doing your best.
Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.
My life is a constant cycle between "I need to rest before I burn out" and "I'm wasting my potential, I should work harder"
As someone who has been both "gifted" and "special ed" I need you all to understand that both programs are partly just excuses to separate neurodivergent people from the "normal" kids. They hate us all. Stop fighting over whose trauma is "more valid" or "worse" for the love of God.
Kinda fucked up that we all coo and sympathize with "former gifted kids" but never talk about the students who had to stay late after school or over the summer for remedial classes/clubs, who struggled to get above a C, who were given up on or punished. Who tried so hard to understand or just couldn't. Who were grouped with the "stupid kids" (a classmate called us that in remedial math btw)
Autistic kids and adhders who can't relate to their gifted peers and are constantly alienated by them. Kids who struggled in school due to dealing with a chronic or mental illness or physical/learning/developmental disability. Those of us who have had to drop out of highschool or college. Kids who worked so hard and wanted to be seen as smart, but never were. Who watched as their peers seem to fly by them in school, while they were left behind. Who were bullied and put down by those in the gifted and honors classes. Whose confidence was absolutely destroyed by education.
I love you all and I'm so sorry the school system failed you. I'm sorry you weren't properly accommodated and given the education you deserved. I'm sorry people put you down for something that they never had to fight for.