veuve noir

[imovedtomynewblog-deactivated20]

[catherinepapeillustration]

[albertothechihuahua]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[jaxblade]

ehh what the hell

[jaxblade]

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

[jaxblade]

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC 

[que-pasadena]

I need to believe in the heart of the post…

[perlexnoire-deactivated20150716]

Oh? Well… *reblag*

[zer0will2live]

i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko

[qslay]

I have nothing to lose

[stoicdaydreamer]

my palm was itchin today not riskin it

[astripperstory]

I always reblog the money posts cause I can’t afford not too lol

[brownsugarempress]

It works. I just got $300 for no reason.

[thecrybabbles-deactivated201605]

Money dog is my friend

[yeaimcoollikethat-deactivated20]

Money dog is the shit

[anttom2016-blog]

I believe in the money dog😀

[princedhunglow-deactivated20181]

I believe in the money 🐶

[cosmic-noir]

Bless me pls money pup 🙏🐕

[crip-jesus-deactivated20190301]

Just woke up 🙌🏿

[totheonedegree]

Pplease😭🙏🏽

[marvelismylife]

Doing this again because last time I reblogged this I got $50

[roses-likethis-blog]

can’t not reblog the money dog

[b99peraltiago]

Amy Santiago, ladies and gentlemen.

[anywigwilldo]

Reblog, click the picture, and prepare for battle.

[vikingserket]

after a while i became convinced that the words were mocking me

[whisperrun-blog]

Nothing happened. 

I WAS PROMISED A BATTLE

*throws down gauntlet*

Edit: Went back. This is the best thing to happen to my dashboard ever.

[whisperrun-blog]

Reblogging again because my followers need to see this. To be clear, rebog, go to your actual blog, then click the picture. 

[penandpage]

[dark-ayyyyy-blog]

aight

[sunbeamrobin-deactivated2018073]

OH MY GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT

[thornsword]

DO IT

[20053]

WOW IT REALLY IS SOMETHING FREAKING GOOD PLEASE CHECK IT OUT

[warp6]

Okay, if this is a rickroll I swear to…

[warp6]

1) It was not a rickroll

2) It was super awesome!

3) No jumpscare or anything designed to freak you out, so doesn’t need an unreality warning (YMMV, of course).

[captacorn-deactivated20230731]

Suspicious but curious. Curiosity wins!

[agenderraskel-deactivated202303]

attention all writers following me- try this or you will lament.

[viperbranium]

EVERYONE TRY THIS (you gotta go to your on blog to click on it!)

[boopifer]

OK THIS IS THE COOLEST

[sheisraging]

Ugh. I’m curious.

[dundunny]

Source

[crafts4geeks]

Feel like getting creative and making your own Coat of Arms? Here’s a beginners guide of understanding them to help you create your own.

-Crafts4Geeks

[jeanqrey]

Wonder Woman (2017) dir. Patty Jenkins

[captainboomerangs]

She’s beauty. She’s grace. She’ll make you fall flat on your face. 

[majima-is-a-powerbottom]

I feel so validated right now

[theqveenofironarchive-deactivat]

[talk-about-tripping-deactivated]

okay fellow friends and witches, I make this sugar scrub shit that’s basically the bomb. I’m gonna give you the recipe for it because “it makes you feel like a goddess.” -my brother when I made him feel my arm

you’ll need -1 cup sugar -½ cup oil (I use olive oil bc it’s good for your skin) -1 tablespoon of smelly good stuff (vanilla or almond extract kinda smells like cake batter. peppermint extract is good for winter. // you can use essential oils for a glamour spell, but like I said I like to use this on my lips) basically anything you wanna smell like

mix it all up in a bowl. after you shave, rub this stuff all over you until your hands start feeling weird. rinse it off, and shave again with a disposable razor because the oil dulls the blade. (don’t use this on your downstairs because it can cause a yeast infection and no one likes those.) and that’s that! I’m not sure where I learned this recipe from, but thank you so much because it works great. you’ll be soft for like 4 days without lotion.

[capitalism-killed-naruto]

Weekly Care Routine

Sooooo I think I have found my absolute favourite weekly/ twice weekly routine and I’m SUPER excited!!

((The first step is for my people with vaginas because it helps to balance out your pH levels))

- Run a small amount of hot water into your tub.. just up to your waist I’d say.. and add in some Apple Cider Vinegar (I’d say maybe 2tbsp). It smells absolutely disgusting but TRUST ME it helps a lot if you’re feeling a bit off down there. 

- Mix some coconut oil and white/ brown sugar into a bowl while you’re waiting for the water. Put some coconut oil on the tips of your hair and put your hair up while you get in the tub.

- Sit in the water until it gets luke warm and then place a towel on the side of your tub and sit on it. Use your coconut oil + sugar mixture to exfoliate your legs/ anywhere else you think needs exfoliating (i.e elbows, stomach area, etc.) If you have a vagina please DO NOT put this mixture anywhere in, on, or near it. Again, if you have crusty ass feet, you’ll need to give some extra love when exfoliating and maybe use a foot file on your heels. Once you’re feeling smooth, get a wash cloth and use the water still in the bath to wipe off.

- Now your legs should feel very smooth and oily because of the mixture, so you won’t need to put anything extra on them when you go to shave. Using a “men’s” razor works 100x better than “women’s” razors and helps you get a closer shave. Coconut oil builds up in and dulls razors so you will only get about 1-2 good uses out of your razor unless you clean it very thoroughly afterwards. I really recommend waxing pubic areas because the hair grows back so slow, but if you’re shaving just make sure that you use plain coconut oil and shave DOWN to prevent ingrowns. ALSO if you plan on having sex then you need to THOROUGHLY wash your business after you shave because OILS OF ANY KIND DETERIORATE CONDOMS AND CAN LEAD TO BREAKS OR TEARS. Please be safe.

- Empty the water and rinse out the tub so there is no hair/ left over oil and turn on your shower. Shampoo your hair root to tip to get the excess coconut oil out and massage your scalp well to get the circulation going (promotes hair growth). Put conditioner on your tips and leave it for about 2+ minutes. While the conditioner is in put some body wash on a wash cloth and wash off all the oil and dirt from your body. If you have a vagina, wait until all the soap is rinsed off of you and then thoroughly (BUT GENTLY) wash your vulva either with your fingers or another wash cloth that has no soap on it. If you still feel like you need to use soap just make sure it’s as natural as possible and UNSCENTED. 

- Dry off and lotion your body, I use cocoa butter because it makes me smell like an island goddess but whatever lotion you like to use works (I also recommend Aveeno but they are a bit expensive).

- Keep an old tooth brush handy and put some of your left over coconut oil + sugar mixture on it and scrub your lips to get all the dead and dry skin off. The only thing worse than scaly lips while getting freaky is bad breath so brush your teeth as well if you haven’t already lmao. Massage aloe vera into your scalp and apply A SMALL AMOUNT of argon oil  (coconut oil/ jojoba oil/ olive oil also work) to your tips. Aloe Vera has actually made my hair grow so fast it’s unbelievable. Dry/ Style your hair as usual.

If this does not make your body feel like the Lord’s Good Grace then some personalizing will have to occur, but this was probably the greatest I’ve ever felt after taking care of my skin/ hair!! Regardless of the products you’re using, following the pattern of soaking, exfoliating, shaving, washing, and lotioning will leave you feeling great!

xo

[herhighnessthequeen]

✨Pro Hoe Tips✨

1. Drink water with every meal, and between each meal. Hydration does wonders for your entire body. 2. Get yourself on a proper sleep schedule. Its easier to grind when you’re well rested. 3. Airspun translucent powder (Walgreens, $7) bakes ya makeup to the gods. Your shit won’t move for the entire day. Kiss ya fallout goodbye. 4. Brands like BH Cosmetics, Makeup Revolution, NYX, ELF, Essence, and Maybelline are all relatively cheap, good quality makeup brands for that last-all-night look 5. Dressing in neutrals like nudes, whites, blacks, and greys generally make your outfit choices easier to mix and match, without all the hustle of finding something to wear. Plus you’ll look like a fuckin baddie 6. Let your eyebrows grow, for the love of God. Castor oil and coconut make ya eyebrows and lashes grow thick and long, and ABH Brow Whiz is the shit for long lasting, natural looking brows. Seriously worth every penny. 7. Eat fresh fruit and stay away from processed sweets for a healthy, fresh smelling/tasting pussy 8. Roll non scented deodorant onto your pussy after you shave to avoid any razor bumps or ingrown hairs (DO NOT PUT NEAR YOUR ACTUAL VULVA, JUST THE OUTSIDE PORTION) 9. Make ya blowjobs wet, sloppy, and be sure to make eye contact as ya lick it. He’ll be putty in your hands 10. Coconut oil hoes👏👏👋 good for scars, stretch marks, cellulite, dry skin, you name it 11. Be sure to find your actual skin type, and look up ingredients in products that help according to your skin type. For example, skin products with salicylic acid help normal/oily skin, while glycolic acid helps dryer, aged skin. 12. Products and moisterizers with urea and ammonium lactate can help clear your keratosis pilaris (KP, the little bumps on your arms/legs/ass/cleavage) 13. Exercise regularly, and change up your workouts every couple of months to keep your body challenged 14. Never send your face in nudes. Make your nudes unidentifiable, in case you encounter a fuckboy who leaks them because hes an asshole. Protect yourself girl. 15. Always keep an extra change of clothes in your car, in case of an accident, dress code violation, or fashion emergency 16. Keep ya grades up, get a job, and make your own money so you don’t have to be financially dependent on some fuckboy. 17. Keep your cuticles moisturized for stronger, healthier nails (especially when wearing acrylics) 18. Take biotin pills to boost hair and nail growth, healthy skin, and kickstart metabolism. 19. Take selfies and nudes at all times to boost that body confidence. Snapchat has a password protected “My Eyes Only” option in Memories that you can hide these in if you’re shy. 20. Literally just worry about you babygirl stay unbothered

Thats all for now hoes✨✨

[ifly-the-end]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR EVERYONE WHOS EVER HAD A HICKEY

PUT ICE ON IT FOR 10 MINUTES THEN SOAK A COTTON BALL IN VINEGAR, PUT THAT ON THERE FOR 10 MINUTES AND IT. WILL. BE. GONE.

[pup-punk]

Random hoe tips

Avoid caffeine before bed. 

Try to go to sleep around the same time every night. 

Avoid using electronic devices before bed. 

When choosing an outfit, stick to solid colors like black, olive, khaki, white, gray, nude, etc. They’ll go with anything. 

Drink!!! Your!!! Water!!! 

Using a toner for oily skin helps a lot. 

Find a moisturizer that doesn’t make your skin oily throughout the day. 

Exfoliate once or twice a week. 

Use castor oil or Vaseline to moisturize your eyelashes because they do need to be conditioned, just like your hair. 

If you don’t have time to wax, shaving with Neosporin leaves your kitty stubble-free. 

Kat Von D lipstick is blowjob proof. 

Estee Lauder’s Double-Wear foundation is smear-proof. 

Fantasia Smoothing Serum keeps your hair from flattening and tangling during sexy time. 

Switch to men’s deodorant and razors. You’ll see why. 

Use tea tree oil to moisturize where you usually shave. 

Shaving with baby oil also gives a stubble-free, smooth shave. 

Pat a bit of foundation on your lips before applying lipstick to make it last longer when making out and giving blowjobs. 

Matte finish foundations stick to your skin better and don’t rub off. 

Cranberries will make your kitty’s scent a little sweeter. 

Use coconut oil and Vaseline on your thighs nightly to eliminate stretch marks. 

Put garlic on your nail beds and coconut oil on your cuticles for longer nails. 

If you have marks from ingrown hairs on your kitty, rub on aloe vera for the itching and coconut oil to fade the marks. 

Threading your eyebrows lasts longer than waxing them. 

If you know you’re doing the dirty, don’t wear cotton panties because they can trap lint in the crevices of your thighs. 

When brushing your teeth, brush your tongue too to eliminate bad breath. 

Use a pumice stone to get dead skin cells off your feet and focus on your heels. 

Chloraseptic throat numbing medication helps incredibly with deepthroating. 

Lemon juice and baking soda removes cum stains. 

Yoni oil makes your kitty extremely soft. 

Peeing after sex decreases your risk of UTIs and STDs. 

Change the condom if you’re going from anal to vaginal sex so you’re more protected against bacteria. 

Applying a homemade body and face scrub made of brown sugar and honey can work wonders. 

For dry or peeling lips, use water and a toothbrush to exfoliate them. 

Floss daily. 

Olive oil repairs nails broken from acrylics. 

Add moisturizer to a foundation that’s a little too dark for you to lighten it up. 

Even if you’re on birth control, wearing condoms can help prevent against STDs. 

Don’t let your number of partners affect you; to each their own. 

Don’t use soap in, near, or around your kitty. 

Coffee and salty foods will make your kitty taste bitter, so stick to water, tea, or juice. 

Don’t constantly use bath bombs or take bubble baths as they can give your kitty an infection. Keep it to a minimum. 

Never spray perfume in or on your kitty. This is a no-brainer. 

Don’t lie to your doctors about being sexually active. 

[sugarsugggar-blog]

Pussy Tea (make your kitty taste great) 😛

1. You will need: a bag of frozen or fresh cranberries, 2 cinnamon sticks, loose tea leafs (I use a cinnamon blend from David’s tea or plain black tea) and liquid cranberry pills (this is optional but you should have these already if you want a tasty 🐱) 2. Add one cup of the cranberries to a pot of 4 cups of boiling water. 3. Pop in the cinnamon sticks and add a table spoon of the loose tea. 4. Cut open 1-5 cranberry pills and add liquid to the water (optional but works faster) 5. Let boil for 5-10 mins. 6. Remove from heat and strain the liquid into a cup. 7. Drink up! I swear by this and it’s soo tasty, sweet and doesn’t add any extra calories to your diet! This will make your kitty deadly sweet so I recommend drinking this at maximum 3 times a week !!!

[kroutonwilcox]

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!