Oh twist the knife again I'm close
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@redlipstickboy
Oh twist the knife again I'm close
a man can be your bitch wife if youāre lucky
tinyyy binghe to cherish š
Yet another silly SVSSS AU/fic prompt where SY transmigrates into demon/creature within the endless abyss. He's been transmigrated there hundreds of years before the plot and decides to spend time making abyss a little awful and organized.
If he can fix some plot points and get things less chaotic (airplane seriously just crept adding stuff that made zero sense to get more sex scenes) so SY will fix that and make things less bad for Binghe...
He ends up taking over the entire abyss without realizing. Man is emperor of the abyss.
Xin Mo has been begging SY to wield it but SY is like 'i'm not touching the protagonists golden finger, why would I do that i'm just an NPC'
SY has not realized he's the feared emperor of the abyss, tales of his power have even reached outside texts, he is the great terror that rules over all others and untied all the creatures under his power.
He just keeps thinking this is just to make things easier for Binghe... he's mentioned a few times about LBH and his subjects have heard a heavenly demon hat will fall in who SY talks about with adoration.
Clearly they all decide SY is a seer (it would explain a lot) and LBH is their future bride.
LBH falls into abyss ready to start revenge arc... only to get scooped up by first demons who see him and take him palace to apparently 'future husband' LBH is ready to start killing... until he meets SY.
Empress of the abyss suddenly sounds very appealing.
SY: I can help Binghe go though this arc with less trauma and then i'm sure he'll leave and become emperor
LBH: I am empress of the abyss and I am never leaving.
Airplane actually based Liu Mingyan off of a guy he met in college who was a stunning pretty boy, stone-faced, dry, and a little mean. Always wore a mask too (a surgical mask, not a veil). Airplane doesn't quite remember the guy's name though... It might have been something like Shen Yuan???
scums shitposts (2022-23)
Shizun Shen jiu who hates alphas with a passion vs disciple shen yuan who treats alphas omegas and betas all the exact same. Shen jiu finds shen yuan pinning Liu qingge down to tickle him and shen jiu is about to explode an artery from how senseless his disciple is! Shen Yuan why are you sitting on top of an alpha teasing him!! What do you mean friends do these kinds of things!! Ohhh my godddd tell me you didn't give that beast Luo binghe your outer layer to smell so he can calm down. You gave a younger alpha disciple guqin lessons by taking his hand in yours and guiding him with your chest against his back? Shen yuan..!!!!!
Shen yuan: shizun says I'm "too trusting" of alphas but I'm a beta so what's the danger anyway
Like 30 different alphas: yeah shen yuan has been seducing me and it's working
MyShane has a bit where if Ilya asks him to do a simple task he goes āfine, but you owe me 1,000 kissesā & Ilya starts peppering his face in smooches. Then once they have kids the bit extends further because Ilya will go āoh no, I donāt have that much. I must go to the kiss bankā & heāll ask their kid to borrow 1,000 kisses for their dad. The smooch economy is in shambles because of them
Alright, so part of this is just me enjoying badass Shen Qingqiu generally, but I think it would hilarious to have future fics where Shen Qingqiu is unknowingly the most terrifyingly powerful figure in jianghu.
I mean, the guy is dual cultivating regularly with a Heavenly Demon after all, and said Heavenly Demon sure isnāt sharing his affections with anyone else.
You also canāt tell me dedicated house husband and demon emperor Luo Binghe āwho personally spent half a decade keeping his dead belovedās cultivation system āwell polishedāā doesnāt feed his beloved spouse all sorts of insanely rare and powerful spirit herbs, fruits, flowers and so forth⦠all made up into tasty dishes of course!
It would also be funny if hanging out in the demon realm half the time turns out to be the spiritual cultivation equivalent of āAltitude Trainingā, leading to Shen Qingqiu having the most rapid qi recovery and precise qi use ever documented (excluding sun moon dew mushroom bodies).
Somehow, despite all this, and with the general understanding his cultivation is progressing, Shen Qingqiu has absolutely no clue he has become more powerful then everyone else in the cultivation world (his sect siblings included).
Heāll utterly destroy some terrifying creature with a flourish and think, āAh, that was cool! Of course, itās the least that can be expected from a peak lord.ā Meanwhile any peak lord witnesses are completely stunned into silence, because āHow the hell did he do that?! We couldnāt do that!ā
Or heāll let his aura loose to intimidate a batch of unruly demons or cultivators and think, āNot quite as intimidating as when Zhangmen-shixiong did it, but effective enough.ā Only he hasnāt considered he isnāt using a sword to achieve the effect, and he isnāt losing a portion of his lifespan about it either!
Heāll sit at peak lord meetings, clearly having advanced to the peak of late stage Nascent Soul, and think to himself, āMan, I hope Iām not too far behind on my cultivation compared to the others, what with all the traveling I do. I havenāt gone into seclusion in years.ā All his sect siblings just side eye him wondering how a tribulation hasnāt snatched him up to the heavens yet. (The Heavens in question donāt want to deal with a Binghe meltdown, so they stealth warded against Shen Qingqiu at some point.)
Really though, itās not Shen Qingqiu fault he has no idea how powerful he has become. The guy lives with Luo Binghe after all! The worldās protagonist, and a nigh invulnerable Heavenly Demon! While Shen Qingqiu keeps getting stronger, so does his husband, so itās difficult to get a good sense of scale.
He also has his past experience in the mushroom body to consider. Sure his qi storage and regeneration rate is getting quite good, but itās still not that good, so it canāt be too big a deal, right? Itās also super easy for him to think, āLife really is so much easier without Without-a-Cureā and fail to consider things further.
Plus while he certainly wouldnāt mind sparring with Liu Qingge, his shidi and his husband somehow always end up being the ones sparring instead. Ah well.
okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter
and with absolutely heroic effort, ilya says something entirely boring and appropriate about concussions, can't be too careful but thankfully nothing to worry about this time, Hollander will be back in time to crush the Pamphlets, yada yada, because he is a good husband and respects Shane's boundaries, and then they're walking to the car to finally go home and Shane is holding an icepack and there are still a couple reporters milling about and some asshole yells "hey Hollander, you sure your head's okay?"
and Shane looks directly into their phone camera and says, "I donāt know, you'll have to ask my husband"
He just wants to protect him so bad š„ŗ
SY: "He is right behind me, isn't he"
ilya starts this bit with shane where he claims he can psychically sense when shane gets horny whenever theyāre apart and so heāll text him out of the blue like āsenses tingling. you are horny.ā and the gag is that heās not Wrong but its definitely a chicken or the egg situation as shane claims he only gets horny after ilya suggests it (also heās kind of like. never not horny) and it kind of pavlovs shane to get hard every time his phone dings so he starts aggressively using do not disturb when he has sponsor deals and meetings and such only then the awareness of the texts he Could be missing from ilya is heightened and so its all heās thinking about when heās trying not to think about it and trying not to get hard in public unfortunately only turns him on more and ilya catches on whenever he goes to text shane and sees heās in dnd mode heās like oh he must be trying not to get hard right now so then shane will check his phone later and ilya will have texted him like āyou were hard at 12:53 PMā and shane is like how the Fuck did you know that ilya is just like shane i told you iām literally psychic š
"do you think if x or y happened shane and ilya wouldnt have ended up together?" i think if shane had been born a caterpillar ilya wouldve been the first ray of sunshine he sees after coming out of his cocoon. do u know what i mean?
theyre hypnotizing
I was about to cry too...
can i offer you a blushing Jigu in this trying time (monday)?