blake kathryn
i don't do bad sauce passes
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
tumblr dot com
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DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
One Nice Bug Per Day
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
No title available
Kiana Khansmith
AnasAbdin
we're not kids anymore.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
@theartofmadeline
Keni
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from South Africa
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Poland
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Türkiye
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seen from Lithuania
@rettiecent
I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing
Sam Handwich.
If Pikiwedia says it it must be true.
I made Pikiwedia real. Works for any Wikipedia page. Use this wisely :)
Oh, wary dell vone
i always thought it was funny how in the lord of the rings sam and frodo head out and after awhile sam’s like “mr. frodo if i take one more step this is the farthest from the shire ive ever been” and then a ways after they meet up with merry and pippin on their daily vegetable run like jesus christ sam get out of the house once in awhile
This is still one of the greatest things ever made.
happy pride month
tumblr staff finding out their site has crowdsourced a viral song, only to discover it is 100% unusable in any corporate marketing scenario
Australian music industry: "God we wish local music was more popular"
Monkey paw: *curls*
For those unsure what's being referenced:
This went down a fucking storm in a bar on Saturday btw
> be tumblr
> accidentally meme your way into creating a hit song made entirely out of slurs
> song gets banned from the dance charts right as its about to chart
> every gay bar in the country immediately adds it to their playlist in protest
Sometimes using this site is like accidentally rolling your car off a cliff only for it to somehow do a flip and land directly on top of Hitler
When a black person states that something you did was racist, chill the fuck out. Its annoying dealing with you panicking trying to dissociate yourself from racism. If you're not black, black people already assume youve said nigga or its variant at least once in your life. If they're interacting with you and bringing something up, its because they want you to stop doing that so they can still interact with you(if ur already friends)
You WILL be racist. You WILL do racist things. You have ALREADY done both. Learn and move on. There's no ideological purity you can hold on to, i promise. Proving you can take the criticism without making it a big deal and practice what you preach is better than any clean slate.
Be the kind of person black people don't have to gamble on. Shut up and lock in
My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember” And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”
Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½
I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!” So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is
Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone
Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!
An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month
Happy pride month!!
As a trans woman I can confirm that they indeed found an ancient forest inside a 630ft deep sinkhole in China
cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please
Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals
the enlightened pervert can look beyond kink to find meaning. and then get horny about the meaning instead.
I love u season 1
Babe wake up, new all time great image just dropped
the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds
#i was in a car with a linguist i had never met before the car trip and like half an hour in he looked at me#after i finished describing a geology thing that was happening out the window and asked if i'd ever spent much time on tumblr#the fuckor of it all#and then we spent six more hours driving#it sure does leave linguistic markers! i'm not sure i'm good with it (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)
it is one thing to be a linguist and another to be a linguist who knows enough of 2010s Tumblr to spot one of its enjoyers
Oh! @meret118 see above comment! The use of the word "enjoyers" instead of "users" or "bloggers" -> You left a comment a while back asking, "Does this just mean vocabulary words? Other than blorbo and sweet cinnamon roll etc, I can't think of what a Tumblr accent would be." I almost never see anyone use the word "enjoyer" anywhere outside of tumblr, but I see it on tumblr fairly frequently.
Another one is the verb "perceive" i.e. "don't perceive me" "I am perceiving" "I am being percieved." That's something that feels very specific to tumblr parlance.
There's the thing where people on tumblr have an emotional reaction to something and instead of, or in addition to telling you how they feel about it using emotion words, they will narrate a fictional action in the present progressive tense. "I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure "I am kissing you on the mouth" "you are going into the soup" "you are getting all of the awards"
I once saw someone use that response format in ... I think it was a restaurant review, or a doordash review, or something like that. It was very unexpected seeing it outside of a tumblr post.
There are a lot of other tumblr linguistic quirks I can't currently remember off the top of my head, but I'll instantly recognize them if I see/hear them outside of tumblr. It's always a bit startling to see them out of context.
when I was in university one of my modules was about internet slang and for our grades project we had to compile and analyse a small database of 100 words used by a specific community of our choice. I chose tumblr and that's how I stumbled across Gretchen McCulloch's research and discovered that yes not only did tumblr have its own vernacular and syntax (as @lierdumoa demonstrates), it was at the time a crucible of slang and memes probably unrivalled by any other part of the internet. and it's stayed that way! even the very title is McCulloch's book because internet is an example of this specific phraseology.
sadly my project is lost due to the website being wiped from the university database after graduation and my then laptop having a major hardware failure. backup your backups people! but the crux of the entire module was that the internet is full of communities using language not only as jargon for specific purpose but also to signal membership in said community. I even wrote a bit about non capitalisation and punctuation useage as a visual cue on tumblr and how including information in the reblog body or the tags indicated different levels of importance or intimacy of thought
I am holding the side of your face and looking deep in your eyes and telling you that love is stored in the syntax, and that we are rotating words together all at once as we all nod at their new and baffling meanings. if the devils sacrament be tumblr then the devils gospel is our collective voice. thanks for coming to my tedtalk
I am being perceived.
Handing the Google executive currently chained in my basement a piece of paper that reads "Shall I end your torture?" with one checkbox that reads "No" and another that reads "Maybe later."
even if that random trans woman did do all that I don't care lol
very funny that literally just riffing on a common tumblr joke about women, but with an especially marginalized group of women, has people months later coming to me like "oh yeah well what about what THIS trans woman you've never met did?" and the answer is still I don't care lol
if I had posted the same thing without the word "trans" the population of this website would go "true" and then keep scrolling
TMEs see the words "trans woman" and they fly into a bloodthirsty rage
I fucking made myself laugh over this stupid tweet I just wrote so now you all have to read it
Now you know who has the saddest backstory in Chainsaw Man.
jump scare for the American readers
sorry to be brave on the internet but I think food labels should list every single ingredient and that there should be harsher penalties for mislabeling and deceptive labeling
Seconded.
Also, if they change the Ingredients, they should put in big letters on the front "Now contains peanut flour" or whatever, because yu can literally kill someone by sneaking it into something that's been a safe food for a decade or more.
Can't just say "spices." WHAT SPICES
