Magma-Grade

34. She/her. Here for shitposts. Sometimes games. Sometimes sci-fi shows. Sometimes sciences. Leave the war outside. VLD sideblog: @voltrohgodwhat

[slutdge]

"make an account to-"

[medievaljournalist]

city watch in disarray after great sage declares halberds 'reddit weapons'

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So today this kid yelled Nani the fuck?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world.

teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!

[ralsalot]

I’m not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me “why would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?” They’re 11

[official-lyzzystardust]

An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, “A little slappy to make daddy happy?”

I did not give him a high five.

[myathesleepyoctopus]

A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said “im crying on the inside”

[myathesleepyoctopus]

Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.

Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.

[myathesleepyoctopus]

So Ive been going through the notes of this post and it seems Fweej the Overseer is pretty popular with tumblr as well. So I dug through facebook and found photos for yall. Special thanks to @sakoyo, who was my TA and made the facebook posts, thus keeping the record and immortalizing his legacy.

Fweej lives on 🙌🐙🙌

[findingfeather]

Three great truths it is important to understand:

Humans will pack-bond with anything.

Humans will make a competitive sport or game out of anything.

Humans will make gods out of anything.

[ofishal-fish-posts]

Waiting for the bus simulator

bus due in 5 mins

bus due in 4 mins

bus due in 3 mins

bus due in 2 mins

bus due in 1 mins

bus due in 0 mins

Whoops we forgot to send the bus again

bus due in 30 mins

[ofishal-fish-posts]

glad to see this is resonating with the bus taker fandom

[picunha]

the transition im crying

[vanity-complex]

I am walking onto the field. Haters are forcefully removing me from the premise

[slytherverse]

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

[slytherverse]

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

[slytherverse]

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

[slytherverse]

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

[slytherverse]

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

[slytherverse]

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

[slytherverse]

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

[slytherverse]

guys i cant take it anymore

[slytherverse]

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

[unfortunatelyshortpeasent]

@entities-of-posts

[entities-of-posts]

The Corruption

[fadecrow]

Reblogging this again actually because I just checked the notes and this only confirms the diagnosis

[entities-of-posts]

Valuable supplemental research.

[bhramarii]

no mondays in the cambrian era

[clowngirlpony]

Pack of hamburgers enjoying the carcass of a freshly killed hashbrowns

[nauticalradical]

i slowed down the audio of this vine and it now seems like the dog turned of the lights and freaked out the camera man

[sonypraystation]

this man is being murdered and you cowards just sit and watch

[podracer]

Dune if I was in charge

[pmamtraveller]

by Poshichi Rou

[aeschylus-stan-account]

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

[claypigeonpottery]

(bunny by @subpar-lemon-bar )

[dankmemeuniversity]

[theonion]

Terrified Introvert One Away From Bingo

[bayesic-bitch]

Starting my speech at the Omelas city council with a child acknowledgement statement

[delphinidin4]

[delphinidin4]

Close enough.

[milowing]

the father (dolly parton), the son (sabrina carpenter), and the holy spirit (miss piggy)

[merweleftthisbehind-deactivated]

Maiden, Mother, Crone in the best way possible...

[taraljc]

accurate.