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[feraligatr]

[epicsause-official]

"comparing apples and oranges" has always been funny to me as an expression because people's go to exampe of two things so radically different that they defy any useful comparison are apples. and oranges. like you would struggle to find a more comparable pair of objects than that. theyre literally sold right next to each other in most stores.

[epicsause-official]

wikipedia has a whole ass section dedicated to international variants of the idiom so let me quickly run through them

see this is even worse than oranges. pears and apples are like the most comparable things ever. france takes another L

ok so this is what i mean. these are measures of temperature and texture and are in fact not very comparable. молодцы ребята продолжаем в том же духе.

colombia wins most vivid image invoked hands down. would not want that to happen to me.

and i think we can all agree romania wins this hands down. everyone give a big round of applause to romania

[terraswallows]

[dgeometric]

I brought 2 cans of Dr. Pepper to a friend's party and we poured them into a saucepan to make hot Dr. Pepper, but it turned out we didn't like hot Dr. Pepper so we decided to keep it on the burner and reduce it down to Dr. Pepper syrup and then mixed that with soda water to make reconstituted Dr. Pepper, which it turned out we also didn't like

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[soulren]

Messing up my customer service hotline job and playing a gunshot sound effect over the phone then coming back with a slightly different accent

[lavadrakobloxxer]

this is my favorite video evcer whats going on

[trochaic-mutant-ninja-tetrameter]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

ummm that's literally just lovebait. she only made those cookies because she loves you and knows you will enjoy them

[jerkeline]

One way to get tasks done in the day is to make yourself a Chekhov's List. Put all of the things you have to do on a list, and now that they've been revealed they'll need to be completed by the afternoon (third act) and when you've completed something you can Chekov that task from the list

[angelicguy]

eating 4 slices of leftover pizza undoes exactly 1 shower

[angelicguy]

5 apples is a shower 2 apples and an orange is a shower one orange is washing your hands a sleeve of oreos is taking a shit

[miss-mania]

I'm just pulling your chain. I mean yanking your leash. I mean jerking you off. uh I mean I'm just messing around with you,

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[animusbell]

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

[nostalgebraist]

If Pikachu were real, it would not be a very pleasant animal. An enormous mouse that shocks you like an electric eel. I would run from these beasts

[transmortifried]

[canonkiller]

eat drink sleep play

[canonkiller]

you are being cared about!! what do you earn by rejecting it!!

[canonkiller]

Three times for charm, or something like that. Get your shit checked out, save your life.

[ultralaser]

reminder that laziness isn't real! if you want to do something but can't that isn't you being lazy that is something else that isn't being addressed, some other thing sapping your time or energy or willpower or ability to focus and get moving on something

if you choose not to do something you easily could that is being lazy i guess, but if you make that choice perpetually that too is something else

Laziness Does Not Exist

Psychological research is clear: when people procrastinate, there's usually a good reason

[leonkennedysprostate]

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

[the-lumpfish-queen]

And this is why we treat them like bratty subs. It’s what they want and need

(obligatory @kira-serialfaggot)

[kira-serialfaggot]

They want me to beat them but If I do they win. So the tension only grows till I break and fuck the Ink out of that dumb brat